The tale of Norman the Frog

 So... Normans story is not quite as unique. When Norman was young, in fact only a wee tadpole, (haha) he was orphaned. Don't worry! It's quite common in the frog world for tadpoles (haha) to be left on their own to fend for themselves. Still, Norman met another tadpole while they were in the pond. The pond was in southern Alabama. The other tadpoles name was Dorothy. Dorothy and Norman became inseparable. They chased tiny water bugs together and played hide and seek amongst the bullrushes and Lilly pads! Until one day, Norman was out looking for a bouquet of water flowers to give to Dorothy when a man with a long white coat came along and scooped him up from the pond. He was in a container of some sort. Worried, he would never see Dorothy again, he smacked against the wall of the container. Farther, farther away from the pond they got. Until it was out of sight. Norman was brought to a lab, where he was kept in a aquarium. Days would pass. He became surprised when his little tail began to metamorphosis into adorable little legs. Next, his upper body grew and took shape. He could no longer recognize himself! One night, after the scientists had gone home, turned off the lights, Norman began to jump. Instinctively, he knew how to jump. And boy! Could Norman jump high! He burst right through the lid in the aquarium and landed on the floor of the lab. Turning about, here and there, Norman spotted an open window in the corner of the room. He sprang over towards it. He jumped. And jumped. Regardless of how hard he tried, he couldn't reach the window opening! Well, did you know that frogs just happen to be quite intelligent too. They are not only high jumpers! Some even go on to higher learning! Norman found some refuse gathered across the floor and piled it all together, climbed up to the top and gave it another shot. He wound up his legs tightly and sprang up as mightily as he possibly could. There! He could see the outside! And he was perched on the window sill! It was dark outside but he felt he'd better make a run for it. He paused a moment, deciding which way to go. Shutting his eyes tightly, he felt a pull in his heart. It was guiding him to the east! He must have sprang for hours. The light was coming up. Luckily, no cars were oot and aboot. To his surprise, in the misty mornings light, Norman began to recognize his surroundings. There he was! He recognized that tree! And he recognized this arrangement of flowers! And behold, as Normans field of view expanded, there before him, was his very home. His very pond! Norman, exhausted, sprang speedily towards it. He was gleefully about to leap in when something caught his eye. Someone. She was a remarkably beautiful, shapely and kind looking amphibian. The eyes, he recognized her eyes. Could it be? Norman thought to himself. "Dorothy?" He asked the female frog. "That's me," she replied. "And who are you?" He waited a moment in silence to give her a chance to recognize him. After a moment, her adorable eyes lighted up and she gazed at him with wonder. "Norman. Norman, is it you?!" The two sprung into each other's arms and kissed passionately. The two were married and loved happily ever after. Norman became a bit of a celebrity about the pond that day. A legend so to speak. Some say that Norman knew the direction of his home because of magnetic influence in his brain. Norman knew the truth. Norman knew very well that it was his love for Dorothy that drew him back to the pond. She was his binary star. His celestial twin. Caught up in an eternal dance of galactic gravity. The two were wed and unlike the custom of amphibians, stuck around and raised their tadpoles. They grew old together, there at the pond, surrounded by their fifteen hundred children. Some left the pond. But most stayed. Because of the love they received from their loving parents. Norman the frog and Dorothy the frog.

Cawl Twin - by Pete.

Enwrapped in a cosmic and ecliptic embrace,

I am trapped in your eternal, illuminating face.

How can I speak a name to this feeling inside? 

Where can I find a place from which to hide?

It is a burning blaze within.

I cannot gaze between

The pages of this love.

Enwrapped in our cosmic embrace,

I am lost in this your eternal face.

I feel that you are playing games with me.

But then, you literally show me the reality of eternity.

So funny that after all of this time, 

I still cannot fathom your love for me,

I keep feeling it will turn on a dime. 

This love between us, this agape,

Feels literally too good to be true.

You were sent from above,

Sent from God to liberate me. 

How could it be possible that this love should be so stifled?

Where can I find a place from which to hide?

Still, I find myself crying out, searching someone to love me for me.

I wonder: is it me you love me for?

I think it is. 

I wonder why you share what I say with others, 

as though my words could change history? 

I am only a man.

I can verily only do what I can.

Still, I will try to keep this up.

I will try to keep going. 

My attraction for you is so deep.

Your soul is like an ocean,

Your heart like a playground.

I wish you would respect my privacy,

But I understand why you don't.

How can I find a vent to these feelings inside?

From where can I find a place to hide?

Here it is: I love you. 

Unbelievably.

Undeniably.

Inconceivably.

How could it be that it could never be?

From where can I find a place inside to hide?

All the same, what we have, my special friend, 

Is so incredibly strong. 

And I know that nothing will be able to shake it.

We have the perfect friendship.

The perfect relationship.

Few others actually find the degree of intimacy 

That you and I have found out to be,

Truer than true.

You are my cawl twin.

My cawl twin, born on separate dates.

You and I are irrevocably,

Undeniably and inconceivably united at heart.

It is a connection inconceivable.

One that not even twins could achieve 

In their heavenly destination of creation in heart and soul.

Never once,

In all of the history of mankind's history has there been such an intimacy. 

Built entirely upon our chastity. 

How could we deny the Third Cord's role in this divine mystery.

You awaken my senses, every sense within me

To the intensity of survival and exclusivity.

How could it be that this is not a love that can be?

From where can I find a place to hide from these feelings within me?

Every fault that I can see within you, 

Screams out to me like the softest, gentlest whisper,

Telling me to love it and to serve it,

As though it were my own left ventricle.

Here it is, I love you. And I know in my heart that it can never be.

All of the intimacy, still it is not lost. 

Because in our chastity, we have achieved victory,

Through third Cord, we have achieved success. 

We will never be put to shame nor reclusivity.

Because of our passion, I know we shall be rewarded, 

For keeping our chastity.

I want you to know that I love you enormously. 

I love you like a twin, a cawl twin. My cawl twin from heaven. 

God Himself whispered in my ear to tell you what was in my heart.

How could it be that you and I cannot be? 

From where can I find relief, a place to hide from these feelings inside?

For I know that even now, you violate my privacy

With the same intention as everyone else. 

You simply want to know me,

You simply desire to get to know my heart.

Your heart is so filled with glory.

So filled with the history of another story.

God, I want to know your story, 

To be a part of your story.

To know that I am, in any respect, fills my heart with success.

You are the fire, set beneath my cauldron of love.

How can it be that you and I, we could never be? 

From where can I hide from these feelings that rise up within me?

We tell each other stories,

We sing each other songs,

We lay each other to sleep, 

How could it be that you and I could never be?

From where can I hide from these feelings that rise up within me?

Still, you have put on my heart a greater destiny.

For you have given me an awareness of my own love.

You have awoken within me a love, which I had no idea rested within my heart.

You have awoken my heart to the fact that I am worthy of love.

I am learning to accept this truth.

And I have you to thank for this entirely.

It may be that our love is not meant to be purposefully.

For the purpose of destiny. 

However it may be, 

I choose to fight, 

I want you to know that I will fight for you and me.

For as many arm wrestling sessions as needs to be.

For the emotional intimacy between you and me,

blossoms passionately.

I still do not know if you are for real.

All I know is what you have shown me.

And I desire to trust. The first time in my life.

For you have awakened my heart, 

In a way that no one else ever has. 

I long to regard you with dignity. 

And with the dignity you deserve.

I thank you for showing me that I am worthy.

I am worthy of love. I am worthy of God's love entirely.

How can it be that I met you when I did? 

I want you to know how incredibly grateful I am for you.

I want you to know how incredibly grateful you are, and that I see you so gratefully.

Around me, all I am seeing is people blinded by this devastating fog, 

This fog that fills me with perplexity.

Around which, the depths of my story,

Are covered with this devastating fog.

I wonder why, in the midst of this madness, you smile at me.

You are affected by this fog too,

I have noticed a number of times that you too have forgotten.

But still, you desire also to see me with dignity and not question my integrity.

I see you for this so gratefully. 

Here it is. I am madly in love with you.

It is a chaste love. Chasted entirely,

By the Third Cord who unites us, you and me.

I await our reward patiently, 

Knowing that you, you and me, are meant to be, for eternity,

Still, I thank you for the dignity of showing me my worth and that I am worthy,

Worthy entirely of another's dignity and intimacy.

Je cherche une femme parfait.

Mais, j'ai besoin d'aidement avec mes cherchements. 

With this fog over the world regarding my story, 

It is difficult for me to build up the esteem to search and to try.

My self worth is already so shattered. Put yourself in another's shoes for an instant.

The rejection gets me unbearably. 

You and you alone showed me that I don't need to fear rejection. 

You taught me this lesson because you reached out.

Ecumenism

I don’t think it is a secret that I am a Christian man. I'd be lying if I said I was not trying to convert anyone. But in this, in what I am saying, I’m not trying to convert anyone. Only seeking to share what my gentle and beautiful God has done for me. The words of the prophets all pointed to the Messiah of Love. “For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” The God of all religions is the God of Love. Jesus is the Messiah of Love. There is a god of this world. That is the one who causes pain and hurt and death and darkness. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” Therefore all who trust in love, follow God and His Christ. In my opinion. The purpose of this life is to find God. We are not living this life for this life. But for Life. Therefore, our times are investment. To live our best, to love. God wants us to enjoy our lives.

So we are clear about my views on ecumenism. I do believe there are two opposing forces in the universe. Love, hate. Good, evil. God, Satan. To be clear: satan is not a god. But, we would be foolish to underestimate the degree of power he has been given in this state of things. In this system. In this, friends, everything we need to know is made clear. "You shall know them by their fruits." Merited, as has become evident in the past decade - most of which I believe that God will give me credit - the line distinguishing the integrity of an individual's fruit is always blurry. We do not know their culpability. We know not their situation. Therefore, we are neither in a state to judge, nor to condemn. However, what we can easily assess, is the integrity of a person's fruit at this moment. The Bible says that in the end days, some will slaughter the people of God while thinking they are doing this for God. It will not be the case. But, this tells us a lot, doesn't it? The distinction between the children of God and the children of the god of this world will be their intentions. What's in their hearts. This is what I mean by the fact that God is a God of love and can be worshipped by anyone. He can be worshipped by anyone within any religion. This worship - this worship of the true God is dependent upon our love. Entirely upon our love. And if you are to accept Him, Jesus is the Messiah of that love. Bear with me. Love we need to remember is not submissive. Submission is fear. Love knows its own value and values boundaries and disciplines. I really believe, in my heart, that there is a correct and true way of worship. It is no secret where my faith ended up. But, I believe God is a good God and that He desires, especially in these last days to gather His sheep into one big flock. Regardless of their form of worship. This will not be the one world religion. That will be the popular way. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right. God is not a God who is eager to shame or to put down. There is no shame in truly  and wholeheartedly offering your life and love to God in full love. God is not going to shame a Mormon if this Mormon seeks God with all of his heart. The same is true for a Muslim. Yes, indeed. As it stands, the religions are incompatible. Because the teachings are vastly different. When people realize and recognize what Jesus did for them (when truth comes out), there will again be the choice. At that time, a line will be drawn in the sand. A line indicating the true intentions of every heart. Look, I myself have studied and practiced a number of different religions. In my slow and arduous conversion process, I studied primary texts of most major world religions. I myself was a Baptist, an Evangelical, a Catholic and a Traditional Catholic (there is a reason I make a distinction there) and finally, I have even studied with the Jehovah's Witness. I will be the first to say that I am a very strong and firm Traditional Catholic. But, I can also say that I have learned a lot from every religion I have encountered. To offer an example, from the Jehovah's Witnesses, I learned a way of prayer that I never learned from my Church. I only have spiritual insight. I don't know politics. I have never studied world religions in depth. I don't know psychology. What I do know is God. He has revealed Himself to me in an almost unbelievable way and with an unbelievable grace. All of this wisdom is from Him. Humility compels us to accept as truth what is truth. Even if it means accepting a prophet of God who is flawed. God has revealed His heart to me. And I would venture to say that He has done so in a way that He has not done to any other person in the history of this race. I know why. That is for another time. The Bible is true. But, let us not forget mercy. Let us not forget compassion. Let us not become so knotted into our merit based salvation that we forget that even the worst sinner has an audience with God if he repents. Lest we forget that we all are sinners. It is a harmless plug that I am inserting reference to the Illumination of Conscience here. It will clean our hearts and make us wake up to the sin that even now, is excessively present in our own flesh. The secret sins will be revealed. There is not a thing to stop this. All I can offer you is my testimony. Again, as with everything else, I am not asking you to believe me now. Store this into the recesses of your heart. Chew on it. 

I am not causing division by having a differing opinion from you. What does my conversion look like to you? The goal should always be to strive for freedom. Allow me to be clear here also. Freedom does not mean the freedom to sin. Of course not. But, what is freedom without the freedom to sin? I ask you seriously. This would make us dictators, wouldn't it? After all, even God respects our freedom so much that He gives us the right to choose between Him and sin. This sense of freedom is integral to humanity. I'm not implying freedom necessarily in a political way. But hey, you cannot have one without the other, I think. Common sense, friends. Rest in this: God desires our freedom so much that He has given us the choice to choose evil over Him. It must be pretty important to Him, no? There is plenty of talk about diversity these days. Where is true diversity? Is it in different skin colors? Is it in the people who are different from us physically? Hah! Yes, there is diversity here. What we are seeking is unity. Unity in spite of our differences. None of this is new material or thoughts. But it is common sense. Look: true unity in diversity is among people who have different ideas than us. True peace is the tolerance of other ideas and skin colors, races. True peace is the tolerance of other religions, politics, ideas, faiths. Guys, I can actually remember a day when this was a reality. Part of the reason why I feel it can easily, easily, easily be attained again. Even when I was growing, there was a tolerance, a respect between the opposing political parties of our countries in the West. Sure, there was a little friction. But there was never violent opposition because someone had a different idea. This is in part due to the fact that fringe and dangerous ideas were not embraced in our cultures. A dangerous idea needs to be assessed very carefully. Not according to impulse and feelings of offence. But wait a minute! Doesn't that imply that we were not being tolerant and not permitting freedom? No, friends. I believe that while God values our individual freedom, God does not tolerate tyranny. He has permitted it in the past. Of course, to separate the weeds from the wheat. But, in these days, this will be a great, visible indication of the state of people's hearts. This will be the great indicator of a person's will. How much more unacceptable to God will be tyranny within God's Church.

I felt very bad about the way that I left my church in which I nurtured my faith. To this church, you are on the right track. I can explain in my mind the reason I left you when I did. My heart feels otherwise. You are a beautiful church. I was feeling a pull in my heart. It does not make you any less justified. Know that I pray for you all every single day. I pray also that this new revelation will also fuel your justification. I believe also that I could have accomplished this mission had I have stayed with you. Either way, you are very beautiful and precious to Him who sits on the throne of Heaven. I am seeing things through new eyes. You have always been very precious in my sight. It's the reason I still pray with you. 

I am so thankful for the gift of Salvation in the Gospel. I am so thankful for Christ. Because I know that even in my darkest states, the times when I feel like everything is just about to fall to pieces, Christ is right there in the middle, with His hand encompassing my own. In that vein, I have a confession to make. And I feel that it is important to escape isolation, if not judging only by my experiences of confessing what is on my heart. I was feeling as though my hope was dependent upon my works. I feel very much as though I have to prove to people that I am worthy in order to have value for myself. My identity, I’m finding, is becoming based on what others think of me. And because of this, I am losing hope. I’ve got to remind myself that my identity comes not from anything I do, or even anything of this world. My identity comes from the Truth of what Jesus did for me. My identity comes from what He says about me. I usually like to allow people to develop their own beliefs regarding their faiths because that's how I came to faith in Christ. But for what it’s worth, this is my take on the spiritual realm. Religions are people's attempts to get close to God through works and are not always a precise reflection of God. In my opinion, God sent His Son to earth because there is no act, no work that could ever redeem us and make us holy enough to stand before God. God sent His Son Jesus because we are sinners. But He still loves us. He understands why we sin. My faith is not necessarily a religion. Wait a minute! Could a Trad Cat be actually saying it? Look, I believe that even Traditional Catholicism has much to learn from other religions. I thank the good God every day that I nurtured my faith in the evangelical church. It taught me about grace. A thing I didn't learn to the same extent in Catholicism. Merited, it took me a while to come to faith in Christ, after studying many world religions, I'm still struggling to walk the path. But there is no way I could ever be perfect and I praise God that He understands and empathizes with me for that reason. God has done so much in my life around everything I've been through since I accepted the Spirit. I don't want to explain fully what I have been through here. In the face of a lot of suffering, He has offered me a great deal of hope. He has given me the hope to actually do things with my life, where once was only despair. He's given me the ability to create, whether that's writing or painting. And He has placed me on a path to healing, both physically and emotionally and the desire to live righteously. If I think now, I am probably unable to count the amount of full out addictions and self-destructive patterns that His grace has saved me from. He has helped me to heal and transform negative thoughts about myself that resulted from unfair situations, into positive. He has given me the uncanny ability to forgive the heinous and extreme case of abuse against me. Most of all, as we are all sinners, He has offered me forgiveness for those sins that I have commit. I have faith in my God who I know will forgive. A couple of nights ago, I dreamed of a loving experience and of the image of myself apologizing for something to another. Their response in my dream blew my mind. Just last night, I dreamed of a similar thing and I remember being woken by a force that whispered in my ear, “You’ve been through so much. You are forgiven. Please keep faith”. I pray that this is true. Really, I know what I deserve. But at the same time, I know what we all deserve. We deserve the wrath and judgement of God. I have faith in God’s awesome love and forgiveness in His Son. After this happened when I woke, I involuntarily started to speak in tongues. It was a familiar experience. I have only experienced it once after I received the Spirit. It was a phenomenal experience and I couldn’t get back to sleep. It was as though a foreign force was using my body. My lips and voice were working but I had no control, either to stop it or control it. I pray that I am able to live in this Truth. And I don’t doubt it. There are many people in my prayers. I am learning to pray and to pray often.

I prayed not because I have to or because I am obligated but rather because I long for the Creator to know that I want a relationship with him, that I love Him and need Him. That I cannot do this without Him. I thought more about my past for some time and realized that I was depending on myself for everything I need. It became more and more clear to me what I need to do. I needed to find the Truth of who I am. I needed to see myself the way that only God sees me. I needed to see myself in ways that no one on this earth saw me. I have struggled with this a lot over the past years. It’s a continual battle for me to trust in Christ fully with the weight of the stress that surrounds my body and spirit. It is a continual fight for me to learn to trust and rely on a force other than what I know because what I know has helped me to survive through so much. But then I remember why I was suffering in the first place. I am finally coming to live in an area that is not dictated by the events of my past. Nor is who I am dictated by what I can and should have done. 

In most religious societies and teachings, there is an imperative on part of the human being to live up to an expectation of what we feel that God desires. In short, we feel that we must do the right things, say the right things and commit works of righteousness and greatness in order for God to notice us; in order that we may be made worthy to God. The truth is that no matter what we do, say or think, we will never live up to God’s holiness. Because God knows that no matter what we do, we can never be perfect. God loves us because we are broken and hurt. Christ died for our sins in order that God’s grace and mercy would be given to us. Through faith in Christ, we are offered salvation and a direct relationship with God, the Father. “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them” (1 John 4:16). Any religion or sect that breaks off of a religion that opposes this is not of God. Any religion that encourages or accepts unprovoked violence is not of God. The one, true religion of the Christ is just that: Love and Truth. There is no proper way of worshipping Christ as long as it comes from a standpoint of love and truth. There is valor and honor to God in humility: in the humility of worship as well as in our personal lives. Humility also implies reverence. Reverence is especially important. Not only to God. But also for us to maintain an appropriate disposition of heart. We all have different religions. Love is not fenced in. There are no boundaries when it comes to love. We have different religions. But we have universal love as well. The love that was built within us at our births. All religions are acceptable so long as they come from a standpoint of love and truth. You are one. You, the church, are one in Christ. Focus on humility in everything you do. Christ is the Messiah of all humanity. He came for the Jews. Because of His sacrifice, salvation is available for everyone who believes. People know that I am a follower of the Way of Jesus. This is not a secret. That does not make me perfect. Far from it. It is for the broken Jesus came. To me, Christ is the true path to know God. Through Him, a relationship with and forgiveness with God are accessible. But again, I possess only insight about the True path. What I have written throughout these letters, I know for Truth or am testifying because of my faith through the experiences I have had and through what is written through the Word of God. And I believe the Word of God is Truth. Love, peace and illumination in truth is the way to know God. I know this for Truth.

Remember the Gospel! This is fullness of truth. You and I, yes, everyone are sinners. Everyone of us. In spite of our best attempts to reach God with our own hard work. We were bought, we were ransomed from the pits of this sin by the sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Whether we accept this sacrifice, paid in full, is a choice we will have to make. Personally and purposefully. The truth of your reality is not what you have been through. It’s about what Christ went through and overcame. Faith is not sufficient but works are needed for God's good grace to work in us. Faith in itself will produce these good works. First, we need to believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Christ is Lord of all the world. Hate, in any respect, even against those who hated you, is not a good thing. The Kingdom, the reason Christ came to earth, the reason I write now and fully, the entire nature of God Almighty, stands for love. This is all about love. This life is about love. Love for each other. Love for God. Love for those who hate us. Love for ourselves. Act in love and you will be doing the will of God. The enemy is the one who fills our hearts with deception and pain and lies. He is a punk, wrought on destroying all of mankind. Do not allow your hearts to be filled with resentment. Know in your precious hearts that you are all so very loved. One person is not loved more or less according to God. All are equal in order that God’s perfect love may be revealed. This is in spite of the truth that God allots grace to some in different ways for the purpose of the proclamation of that grace. 

How can we love ourselves? Even when so much disaster has befallen our spirits. How can we love others? Even when there is so much hate and oppression in this world. How can we love God? Even when there is so much pain and suffering that good people never deserved. How can we love those who hate us, hurt us and persecute us? We can do all of those beautiful things in the knowledge of the Truth of God’s love for us. We can do all of these things knowing that God stands for everything wonderful in our world. And yes, it’s a very big universe. He created it all! And still, He notices us, our insignificant presence, marvelling at our every step, our every breath. He marvels at us enough to want so much for all of us to be free and to experience joy and love in the Truth that is absent of suffering, misery, oppression, lies and hate. We can love everyone once we accept the Spirit of the living God. This is not about religion. It’s not about who is right and justified. For there is absolutely no contest, no trial and no battle in love. Jesus, the Lord of love and peace came to earth not just for the Jews, not just for Christians, not for Jehovah’s Witness or any other. He came for all mankind that we all may know that His love is a free gift and a beautiful one. This is not about religion. It is my hope that with love and grace, you are given a glimpse of the LORD Almighty in the way that I have seen Him. Love God, act in love and peace to each other and to all neighboring others, in truth and you will be doing the will of God. I just pray that God reveals to you a knowledge of the love of Christ as it has been shown to me. There are so many similarities between most of the religions of the world. This cannot be for coincidence. It is not a judgment when I tell you that there are too many conventions and rules these days. Merited, there is a Law that God requires you to follow. And that Law is immensely important. I simply encourage you to have faith. The Law will follow if you just have faith. Our world is a truly beautiful one. Every time I look around, I wonder in amazement at everything in God’s glorious Creation. I wonder at the sight of what we have done to it as well. Hardly in a bad way. We have erected monumental metropoli, we have invented travel that can get us from one corner of the world to the opposing corner in a matter of hours. We have created communication that can connect an individual in Hong Kong to Wyoming in a flash. That is incredible. We are made in the image of God. But, at the same time, it is also a very hurting world. It is a world that is filled with enormous suffering and injustices. We live in a world where people thrive and blossom off of the hard work and pain of others. It is a world that needs a savior. And we are enormously blessed that God Almighty has sent us that Savior. With the full knowledge of what He would have to experience in order to stand by the Truth of love and everything that love stands for, God was still willing to send us His Son. Sin separates us from a God who is completely and absolutely holy. The only way we can be made holy and righteous enough to approach God, the Father is through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Church, you beautiful, worthy and strong sheep. Whatever happens, know in your hearts that in front of you lies a future none of you could imagine right now. It is a very real place. You absolutely have this to hope for. Just remember to do everything in love. Do not walk in the presence of evildoers but let us be truly invested in our discernment as to who is a true evildoer. Bear in mind, Church, here I speak to every single one of you: there are many sins being commit even by those who walk amongst you, who share at table with you. These are being commit in the dark of night. Behind closed doors. Do not worry. Help is coming. Do you feel discouraged by these, my words? If it's the case, bear this at heart: that in the last days, many who were the most holy amongst you will be the ones to turn on the true flock of God. Many, in the last days, who were considered the worst of sinners amongst you, irredeemable, will be the most glorious saints! Let it not trouble you. Simply allow this to form your faith and conviction in what Jesus has done for you. Allow it to strengthen your sanctification. Just keep strong and maintain your faith. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to provide a voice for you. I’m trying to feel like an apology is enough. Whatever happens, know that you are all so valuable and so loved. You will be home soon. To those who suffer and those who persecute alike, the peace and joy of love and truth is within arm’s reach of you. My life is not over and while there is life, there is still an opportunity to love. I just need to know from you what you would like me to do. I can promise to never give up and to try my hardest with what has been given to me. This was a terribly difficult mission for me. From the start, the odds were stacked against me up to the brim. But I accepted it. I said I would do many things. I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been stronger. Still, one will come who will be a voice for you in a while. You know how I feel about what happened in my life. I will not give up. Love sometimes is a difficult cause to fight for. But it is always worth it. And love will triumph in the end. The Truth does not change or waver. Keep faith. Have patience. Please. 

To my brothers and sisters in true faith around the world, these are the true brothers and sisters who follow the Law of God - the Law of caritas - of love, I say this: The time has come to lay aside your differences of worship and tradition. Tradition is very beautiful. But, let us unite under the cause of love. Let us remember our unifying cause and seek to glorify this, the God of Love. In doing so, we neither subtract or add to our glorious ways of worship. But let us simply remember to do so in and for the name of love. Who am I? All I have is a story. A story of how God has touched my life. I leave this with you. But, I urge you: Remember love. Remember that love is neither submission nor fear based. Love is a free act of will, an offering of one heart to the other. In this case, heart to heart with God Himself. What better friend could we have? Love is as loving with itself as it is with others. We need to remember that we need not subject ourselves to unnecessary abuse because we 'love'. This is not love. It's submission. Love disciplines. But it never abuses. In any case, the help you need will come. These, my words, are only to prepare you for what is inevitably coming. That help will come. This is God's promise. Not mine.

We all have access to the Word of God, the Holy Bible. I pray that you are not tempted into disbelieving my testimony because of the Truth of the Word of God and because of its unchanging nature. I assure you that I speak nothing other than the Gospel of Christ in love and truth and that any understatement on my part is only a result of the suffering I have endured as well as the mistakes that I myself have made as well as my limited language with which to express the things I know. The Apostle Paul was a great man and fully convicted in the faith. He was very vigilant about the Way. This had to be. And he was rightly glorified. Just as this has to be now. I have only told you the truth that comes from my heart. Still, I do not expect any of you to believe in my testimony until God has proven it as what He desires. “They have seen false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘Declares the Lord,’ when the Lord has not sent them, and yet they expect him to fulfill their word” (Ezekiel 13:6). I am not asking you to believe now, just that you have faith and compassion and understanding. If it is His will, it will be made clear. For the Word of God is immutable and unchangeable unless God chooses to make it so. God’s heart is loving and eternally unchanging but it is evident in the Bible of passages that suggest God changes His mind on a temporal level: "So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people." (Exodus 32:14). In cases of sin and repentance, God can change His mind. We see this in the Garden of Eden as well as with the Christ. With human free will and as God learns about us by our decisions, God can change His mind. Other areas of the Scripture are sufficient but not entirely clear. I speak only what has been instructed me from God. I believe it because I have faith. What is the purpose of a prophet? It was either to defend, to call for a return or the application of a new, word of God. Just have faith. I admit that others could have done the job better than me. But I have run from Him far too many times in my life because of the weight on my heart and only want so much to do the will of God now. Keep faith. The Book of Remembrance has been written: “Those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name. ‘On the day when I act,’ says the LORD Almighty, ‘they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not” (Malachi 3:16-18). The Book of Life is written. To them who believe in my testimony and what I have said has happened to me in my life, will have the Book of Life opened to them. My life has been one of sorrow and pain. All I needed and want now is for people to acknowledge and to respect what I know for a fact I have gone through. Have faith and keep patience. I am just a human being like all of you. This letter, I admit, may be a little difficult for you to understand now. I apologize for this. I am explaining what I know in the only way I know how. If it is God’s will, things will be made increasingly clear. Until God created it, it didn’t exist. Think about that.

Jesus, how blessed I am. What a blessing it will be to serve the world. I am thankful that all children will be blessed and safe after this. No more work in the shadows, folk. The shadows shall be illumined like never before. The Illumination of Conscience will come like a fire, like a cutting flame. I have a feeling because of the fact that I have come late, its power will not be felt to the same degree. However, I do believe there is a way to ensure that it is felt with an equal amount of power. Just in a different way. It will be glorious. This will be the greatest grace since the Cross and the Resurrection. Imagine it. Yes, it may sting momentarily. For the great majority, this will be the glowing catalyst of a new revival of hearts. It will be as a renaissance of glory. It will be a literal period of time on earth where heaven has descended as nearly as possible, without conjoining and intertwining their existences. The reign of darkness, ersatz as it is, will be quelled enormously. The good, the righteous and the vulnerable and the little and the child and the widow and the orphan and the disabled and the injured and the sad and the grieving shall have their comfort and protection. Oh, name of God! Dear friends, can you not feel the emotion in my heart when I am writing to you? Allow the words I write, the tempo at which I type and the choice of my words to guide your adorable imaginations into a portrayal of my body language as I write this. I have seen it! It is the reason I can describe it as such. I have seen heaven. And I have seen earth. And I can easily, easily, easily say that this earth was intended to be heaven for us. God has never forgotten this. Dear friends! Rejoice in the fact that this reality in which we live can be so glorious. Words fail me dear friends. My heart is floating from my chest as I picture the life there. The point of this? It can be a reality here as well. Dear friends! Let us enthrone Christ. Let us enthrone Him as King over this world. Over this system. God, name of God! He deserves it. Doesn't He? To you. Does He deserve it? The only way we can begin to enthrone Christ as king over this world is by enthroning Him within our hearts. This is where it begins. Or is it? Perhaps we need a hand. Deus ex machina. God from the machine. God will help our ailing, crying and wounded and sad world. Do you believe that He desires to help it? Hold on to this faith. Name of God. Do not have faith in me. No! You believe in your God. Because He and only He is the one who can create a change so glorious. The world has never seen. No eye has seen. No ear, heard. It can happen. It can happen here. Name of God, I cannot be the only one who believes it. I am not eager to give up on this world yet. Why? Why is this Era of Peace so important? It is important because it will offer a glimpse of what is ahead in the Kingdom of God. This will be triggered by the Illumination of Conscience. The Era of Peace will create an atmosphere in which the fruits of the Illumination of Conscience can take root. This period will permit God's children, everywhere, from every tribe, nation and tongue, every color and creed, to make the choice between good and evil. This Illumination of Conscience will clarify people's hearts. It will make known to them how they stand before God. Were they to die today, this day, some of them may be shocked at what they will discover. It will be a cleansing. A preemptive cleansing of the heart of mankind. I can think of no greater gift short of Kingdom come!

Litany of Tranquility

Lord have mercy,

Christ have mercy, 

Lord have mercy,

God the Father, have mercy, 

God the Son, have mercy, 

God the Holy Ghost, have mercy,

Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy.

O Lord, grant

That we would learn to sit with our emotions,

That we would seek the origins and root of every emotion and impulse,

That we would learn to parent ourselves,

That we would feel safe to begin our healing journey,

That we would learn to process our anger in healthy ways,

That we would learn from regrets,

That we would learn to communicate our feelings,

That we would release every bitterness into the tranquil embrace of forgiveness,

That we would harbor no resentment,

That we would accept and express true joy,

That we would seek to heal our inner child,

Consoler of hearts, pray for us,

Peace of spirit, pray for us,

Emotional tranquility, pray for us,

Unfailing forgiveness, pray for us,

Compassionate hope, pray for us,

Enlightening grace, pray for us,

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord,

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Oremus,

O God, in the turmoil of our repressed emotions, be our guide toward everlasting tranquility, patience and peace. Help us to process these hidden emotions and deliver us from the temptations and discord, which arise from these hidden wounds. Be our light and our hope in the healing of our wounded inner children.

Pornography:

'There are different kinds of pornography. The problem arises when pornography for the individual becomes a problem. Which I think is what this meme is speaking to. I've looked at porn in the past. But the reasons I did it were to mask emotional pain of past experiences. Because it is like that: a drug. I agree fully that the signifier of healthy sexuality is about a relationship with the self as opposed to others or other things, but that doesn't change anything about the negative side effects of and degradation of porn. I'm consciously choosing not to anymore but that does not and should not affect your choices. Because like you say in a way Josef, sexuality is a personal expression of self. But even that is relative. It is agreed that there are softcore, romantic porns but there are just the same hardcore, fringing on extremely abusive porn. The main problem is that when porn becomes a 'problem' or an addiction, the chemicals released in the brain to provide the sexual high, get used to previous forms of it, like the softcore porn. This leads to a search for more dangerous, 'thrilling' material to get the same high. Again, this is where it becomes problematic on many levels leading to isolation and relationship problems and heightened desensitization and estrangement to human empathy and suffering. A little porn; ok? Sure. But just like alcohol, it becomes a problem when it itself becomes a problem. I believe that God created sex for a couple to express their love for each other. I think that is all that statement means. I urge you guys to check out some of these videos I've provided links to. One is a TED Talk, another a personal experience of an EX porn star, another scientific symptoms of the negative impacts of pornography addiction on the human psyche. The last one is a personal account of the positive effects of not viewing porn for extended periods of time following that individual's negative experiences with addiction to porn. Ask yourself, what kinds of porn are available today for consumption? Is it simply romantic, softcore porn that expresses human love and intimacy? Or are there practically endless amounts of child porn, brutal and violent porn and other extremely abusive forms of the stuff?'

I wrote this some time ago. The blog post didn't get much attention and so I am elaborating here. I'd like to edit it a little. First, when I said that healthy sexuality is about a relationship with the self as opposed to others, I don't know if I thought this through well. In truth, human sexuality is about service. It's about learning to place the other first. It's about learning to love and place the needs of others over even our own. This is the reason, traditionally, marriage is the exclusive place for sexual relations. I believe that God has something special in store for us in this regard. Something, which will prepare us for what's coming. Something, which will give us the grace and the will to seek to love and serve the other before ourselves with greater intensity. I shall say no more about this. Secondly, I said, 'a little porn is acceptable.' I wrote this with a more secular-influenced mindset. I have grown spiritually and in my faith. At the end of the day, it is a personal choice whether or not to watch the material. I simply write as a warning that it is a serious doorway to demonic activity and darkness to open your spirit in this way. Use of the material creates a spiritual bond to the creators of the material, the actors. Just because you cannot see the spiritual doesn't mean it doesn't exist. It is a reality, more influential than this physical plane.

I will say here that I once had a terrible addiction to pornography. I can say this and bring it into the light because through God's grace, He has helped me quit this addiction for over eight years. I am living a completely chaste life for over five years. I quit the second I learned why I was falling down this slippery slope of an addiction. There is a special insight here. One which may be applicable to all in the world over. Before I continue, I would like to examine the truth that addictions do not spring up out of no where. The reason people become captured in a vice, whether it be religion, overworking, cigarettes, heroin or sugar is because they are trying to numb an unpleasant emotion. Think about it, if you are healthy emotionally, you have no reason to get stuck on a pleasure like this. You experience the pleasure and are returned to life a moment later. You are able to navigate this pleasure without unhealthy attachment. Yes, I am asserting that every addiction is the psyche's attempt to suppress unpleasant and traumatic memories or emotions. There is certainly a genetic factor involved. But, its influence is miniscule compared with the effects of life and their influence. I realized after countless attempts to quit my addictions that I was unable to tackle them by myself. So, I invited God into the equation. Around this time, I asked Him to make known to me the root cause, the underlying trauma causing me to be stuck in these patterns. Soon after, I started receiving heightened awareness of what I had endured as a child. Memories began to sharpen and clear out in image, as though a screen focusing itself. I was filled with righteous indignation and resolved firmly to change my life. I quit smoking a year after this and pornography, two years after this. Pornography was relatively an easy addiction for me to give up. Because I recognized the human and psychological ties to why I was using the material. Literally the moment I received awareness of what I had been through, I made the connection to the fact that I was using it to numb emotions I could not deal with at the time because the memories were clouded. Awareness was clouded for me. And in some cases, I was still enduring the abuse. My mind was protecting me. In addition to this, the scientific matter of the addictive qualities of the chemicals produced in the brain in reaction to this stimuli, caused my addiction to spiral down. After receiving a thrill, using the material, the brain does not produce the same amount of chemical afterward. So, in order to chase that same thrill, users seek more thrilling material to placate this desire for chemical high. Simply put, the addiction gets worse over time. For me, it was not so much about myself that I resolved so quickly to quit. I quit because I recognized the fact that in using the material, I was participating in terrible practices by proxy. Around this time, I discovered a couple of communities. The first was a secular abstinence group, which encouraged users to abstain from sexual arousal for the purposes of increasing manliness. The second group was an anti-porn advocacy group. Here, I learned an awful lot. I saw videos about ex porn stars and their testimonies. Anyways, here I learned that the people who get involved in this sort of entertainment are often victims of child abuse themselves. They often have tragic lives. Even if they don't, a great fraction of those who find themselves involved are not consenting. They are often kidnapped and trafficked and drugged for this purpose. It is incredibly sad. Many are only children. I realized after I quit that in using the material, I was contributing to an industry that thrives on abuse and darkness. So, I quit. Never to look back.

The way pornography has seeped into our culture is surely an act of the evil one. I am making a connection between the physical and the spiritual. That is an unavoidable connection to mistake. It is a terrible thing to see how sex, a beautiful part of humanity be degraded to such a level that it is unrecognizable. Children are learning about it from porn. Which is a travesty. Instead of intimacy and loving touch, they learn the oo's and ahh's acting of a porn video. What awful circumstances. No wonder our culture has tumbled this far. Years ago, a seedy guy might stumble into a back alley doorway, concealed by a cloak and ridden with shame to access pornography. This has progressed terribly. It has 

progressed until our world has become dominated by it. This material estranges the human being to the emotional state of the other. It devalues them and dehumanizes them into an object. I know that this statement may sound like a simple euphemism. It is not. In viewing it, we participate in darkness. The fact is that we have no accurate statistics about how this pandemic of sin will affect our society. It is easy to see how our society has been taken for this. The neurochemical composition progression of the human being speaks to the degradation of this addiction almost world over. It feels good until it don't any more. So we seek deeper and more taboo thrills to get the feels again.Like, increasing access and normalizing it to the point where it is accessible on our smartphones, free and in unlimited amounts.

It is a bit more complicated than simply getting married as a way to curb your sexual appetites, isn't it? We are all individuals. We all have passions and drives, wants and needs. If a boy is abused sexually by his mother, he may experience a lot of emotional resistance in developing a connection with a woman as he ages. There is a dynamic not approached Biblically here. This is the dynamic of trauma and how it relates to the individual. Certainly, the Biblical principles are accurate. But, I don't know if it would be fair for a boy abused all his life by women be forced into chastity and celibacy because of his wounds. Maybe fair is not the right word. I don't know if it is what God would want for this boy. I posit that we are not all called to religious chastity and celibacy. Sanctification? Certainly. But again, God is not as scared of human sexuality as we think. God wants us to be happy. Human sexuality is a key to this happiness. I am not asking you to believe me now. When truth comes out, it will be believed naturally and in response. When we find out what is happening in the world, our eyes will soften towards sexuality. All of this #metoo nonsense will dissipate. In the knowledge that every single one of us is guilty of exactly the same thing. It's a very elementary psychological concept that our sexuality as human beings can be moulded and shaped by our experiences. Elementary in that the concept is so simple that schooling may actually interfere with our ability to understand it. I quickly recognized that a lot of the pathways I was slipping down in terms of what I was viewing online were not actually me. They were guided by the abuse I had experienced and were perpetuating that dynamic of abuse that I endured. Yes, I admit the capacity within myself to abuse. I think if we are all honest with ourselves, we would do the same. When we assign ourselves a victim, this is quite dangerous as it denies the possibility within itself to harm. This is where darkness acts. Upon the throne of denial. In any case, I was abusing myself by submitting to these fantasies. Years after quitting, it's as though my sexuality has undergone a deep reset. This online abstinence community that believes that abstinence can reset our brains and masculinity has something to say. For sure it does.

I want people to know I am truly sorry for anything that I may have done in my past to hurt people. Whether derived from feelings of pride, lust, anger or fear, I repent. We all have pasts. I want anyone in my life who has hurt me to know that I not only forgive you completely, I love you very much. But the reason that I can forgive such horrible crimes is because I have been blessed with the spiritual insight of seeing why people commit sin and do bad things. We need to have compassion and empathy for each other. The human being is a complex organism that reacts and develops intricate and beautiful ways of surviving through the worst of adversity. They are intricate and beautiful because they helped us survive through terrible stuff. But they also have the potential to be destructive, disruptive and hurtful. Please remember this verse: “Neither circumcision or uncircumcision means anything; what counts is the new creation” (Galatians 6:15). I feel very much as though I am entirely a new person from fifteen, twenty, 

ten years ago. We’re humans. With very real feelings and thoughts. And we are all tempted. But the tempting comes according to your own experiences, sufferings and life path. A fair example of this would be lust. If you’re married or are able to have your needs met in a fulfilling way, you’re less apt to be tempted sexually. If you were abused in sexual ways as a child and at the present time, have no options for release, you’re bound to be tempted. Then there’s the issue of pornography and increasing and insatiable desires. This is a reason the Apostle Paul says, “If you are unable to control your sexual appetite, be married”. To be fair, what is happening in the world these days was not happening at the time that Paul was writing. Read this one more time. I think you may find that God has some very big surprises in store for us. Hey, if I am wrong, nothing will come of it. You need not worry about suppressing my thoughts if you think I am crazy. Or if you think I am lying. The only reason you may seek to suppress my thoughts is that you know I am right. And you know that if I am right, it will stir the status quo.

There's a Bible at the Foot of my Bed: a poem by Faith (a part of me)

There's a Bible at the foot of my bed. It calls out to me, amidst dreams of snakes and grenades. There's a Bible at the foot of my bed. I didn't put it there. And I wonder how it got there. I don't usually sleep here. It calls out to me. How can it be that it frightens me so? I know who put it there. I know that she wants the best for me. How can it be that this good will, this help should frighten me so greatly? And when I dream of grenades and snakes, she should run to comfort me. How strange. This good willed behavior. How very strange. Potentially, for the same reason, she put the Bible at the foot of my bed. No, wait! I know better. I will not be tricked. It's always how they act right before they abuse me. How again have I gotten here? Last I remember, I was in a dungeon. Longing for memories of sunlight. How can it be that I ended up here? Would it matter if I were to break free? The others can read my thoughts, will follow me wherever I go. I have some good memories. I hold to them with my strength. I used to enjoy looking at the stars, at the moon. I used to enjoy running barefoot through the grass. I would color to express myself. I have hidden. I have begun a game of hide and seek. Only the person looking for me gave up years ago. I just kept hiding. Out of desperation, out of fear. There's something at the foot of my bed. It looks like a book. I open the cover. I cannot read the words on its front binding. I feel some apprehension. Still, I'm drawn nearer. Until my face is practically upon the page. I wonder, how did it get here? I wonder. I study its properties. As I whisper softly to it, 'How is it that you have gotten here?' Someone who loves me. I remember now! But wait! I open the first page. What if it's a trap? Still, something draws me closer. I open the first page. The Bible! I feel a strong rush of wind across my face. I leaf the second page over. A voice calls to me. 

It says, "I love you very much, Faith. You are a beautiful child. And you deserve to be loved properly. With truth and grace. Your name was not always Faith, was it?" 

I respond, shaken, "Who are you, Lord?" 

The voice replies somberly, "I am the one who created you. It is not an accident that this Bible has found its way to the foot of your bed." 

I ask, shakingly, "Who put it there, Lord?" 

He answers, "I did, Faith. I did."

"Will it help me?" I ask

"More than you can know, precious one. The answer to every problem in the world can be found here. Will you read it? It is my own personal letter, addressed personally to you?"

There's a Bible at the foot of my bed. How could it be that it got there? How can I have gotten there. I remember! Someone who loves me placed it there. It calls out to me, amidst dreams of snakes and grenades. I wonder what it has to say. I know someone who loves me has prepared this book for me. I wonder what it has to say. Where shall I begin. I inspect the properties of the book. And as I do, the word, BIBLE appears on the front cover.

Importance of privacy

So, I get it. You only see one side of this story. Maybe you feel it is justified. Maybe it is. But here is another side. One which our society rarely would get.

This is how it all began. In 2012, I wrote a little book, documenting who I was claiming to be and what I endured. After this, I noticed my computer acting up quite a bit. My phone acting up as well. Possibly had been under surveillance prior to this. (There's a skeleton in everybody's closet). You distinguish criminals from other people by setting up a veil. You say this is a good act. And that is a bad act. You say, this is a good person. And that is a bad person. You have gotten so overwhelmed by this us vs. them mentality that you have become blinded to the truth that we are all evil. We are all criminals. And we are all sinners. When the truth comes out, your eyes will be opened to the fact that we are all the exact same, committing the exact same things. How's your relationship with your parents? Anyways, I wrote a little book in 2012. Afterwards, the surveillance was blatant. 

Since nothing seems to be done about it. And this communistic appeal over our democracy and republic has become overarching, privacy has become a thing of the past. Well, friends, I remember a time when individuality, genuine progress and good and healthy economy, privacy, adequate health care, good education, minimal homelessness were not just reality. They were truth. They were simply expected here in the West. Remember that the health of a society is evident in the way that it treats its littles, its vulnerables. Human life is what is most important to God. This limiting of privacy is a reach from the state to gain authority of the human life. Anyways, I wrote a little book in 2012. Afterwards, the surveillance was blatant. 

It did not disagree with me at first because I viewed it with different eyes. At this time, until about 2016, I would use this grace as a way to evangelise. I would travel the city, every day, using the notes section in my phone and my MS Word documents to evangelise to the people whom I would encounter. During these times, my message was the Gospel and that children need love and peace in their developments, that trauma accumulates. In about 2016, I heard about a particular politician's campaign. I was all-in from day 1. Actually, had I money at that time, I would have wagered a lot of money on his success. In spite of the fact that he had been given 2% chances in the polls. I want to be clear that I never prophesied his victory. I just had a feeling. What I want is different from what I prophesy. I started watching youtube videos about his campaign and realised very quickly that people were watching what I was watching on my computer. I want to say very clearly that by 2016, I had completely quit pornography use for about a year. I quit completely in 2015 and haven't looked back since. Anyways, it was at this time, I began to notice people becoming quite angry with me. Some would spit at me. Others would shake their heads and avoid me on the street. While still others lauded me. These were the weirdest years of my life. I quickly saw what was happening in terms of the censorship and media campaigns against this politician who simply seemed to want the best of his country. 

Anyways, about this time, I was confirmed into the Catholic Church. It was a joyful day, my Confirmation day. I soon realised that my confessions were being broadcast after priests had received them. Since it happened with pretty much every single priest I visited, I surmised that it was an edict from high places. I resigned. Because of the anger I faced at the time, because people were sniffing my wifi traffic and leaking my politics, my message quickly transformed from the message of the Gospel, humanity to a defence of the life that I had lived. A defence of my views and a defence of my life. Hitherto, it should be noted that people were incredibly patient with my disability, my sins (which were many). It's almost as though the moment people got wind of my politics, they were eager to forget what I had endured. It's as though compassion had been forgotten.

Afterwards, I spent some time at a religious community where this same surveillance continued. When I moved to another city, I got the impression there were cameras in my room. It was incredibly obvious because of the way I was being spoken to based on material that could never have been assessed had there been no cameras in my room. Actually, thinking clearly about it, I am able to surmise that there were probably cameras in every room I have owned since then. This is my story.

I feel like Truman or Ed in EdTV. Except for one thing. I did not consent to any of it. You may say that because of my sin (which is great) I lost my right to consent. You may say I lost my right to myself. I simply reply to this, would you say the same thing if I were inculpable for the sins I committed? If what I am claiming is true, I just may be. I have no idea how deep this network of surveillance goes. I have often suspected that there is like a channel or something, where everyone collaborates in sharing media about me. I base this on the fact that I'm often videotaped in public. You may say that I lost my right to privacy because of who I claim to be. This would make more sense. But, I'm sure even the pope has privacy within his private bed quarters, his time in the jon and in the shower. I just want to tell you that it is incredibly retraumatising for me when my privacy is intruded upon. That may not mean much to you. But, it does to me. In addition, never have I consented to any of my intellectual property to being open source material. I am stating very clearly, that all of my writing is my copyright.

My friends, still not trying to make a public statement by what I watch/what I do in my privacy.  Still, only, trying to prove what happened to me.

Look, I've got to admit: This tool has been very useful as a medium of communication is for my ministry. I know others have seen it as such as well. Still, I have always found it quite significantly censoring. The fact that other people, I have no idea even how it is possible, possess access to my computer and electronic devices is a great tool, for my evangelism and ministry. I judge the fact that you are accessing my devices because of very clear reactions I receive when I write stuff. It is beyond certainty that this is indeed happening. And part of the reason I embrace it is out of love. Because it does, in fact provide a strong platform for the conveyance of my message. Another reason is because I simply cannot afford to keep buying computers and phones. My old roommate, God bless him, snagged a USB disk with everything on my computer on it a number of years ago. I said nothing. I understand. There are probably aspects of it that I don’t understand. It made immediate sense of the words of a beautiful lay woman in Toronto who told me that what I say is worth money. But you have to look at this from my perspective. The fact that my entire childhood and adolescence was wrought with injustice and violation and intrusion, the behaviour that is happening now feels very similar and perpetuates the sense of victimisation I have endured. I was not blind to people going through my physical possessions as well. I have got to say that having an eye on me, at all times, is extremely censoring. I don’t want to create anything because I feel like the material is just going to be leaked anyhow. I don’t want to create anything because I don’t have a safe place, anywhere. As much as you want to believe, I am not a politician. I am not even a leader. Yet. My time has not come. I am just a guy telling his story of victimisation. Would it be possible if we set a limit on some of the intrusions? For instance, there are a number of documents on my computer that are for others to view. A lot though, are just a guy unprivy to technology, writing his healing and life journey. What would we see if we analysed every person’s private computer and phone history? My guess is that not many people would want that information leaked. I have quit porn for almost ten years. God bless you. 

Often, privacy isn't about hiding; it's about creating space to open up. When we have unlimited access to what a person does in privacy, we restrict their growth. We make assumptions about a person based on context, which may not be present. Healing is accomplished best in a hospital. Not on a stage. Privacy is a human right.

The reason I make a distinction between what I say publicly and what I do privately is because to me, there is a real difference. It’s the same reason I feel people still do not believe me. In all that I have said publicly, including going to the authority, writing and publishing my disclosure testimony and a few posts on facebook and my blog, things haven’t gone that well. This is how I have communicated with others so that they know what is going on with me. When I write in my computer, what I look at on the internet, what I say in private to my friends, I assume I have privacy. I assume people simply want to know me for me. I assume I have the space to write about personal things that have affected me in my life. I have nothing to hide. But that should not matter. Privacy is a human right. Is this sort of surveillance common everywhere? I’m not going to say anything further about this except privacy is very important. I know and understand that people are curious. And I know you have shown a great deal of faith in what I am saying. For that I thank you. Please, at least afterwards, remember that I am not only a prophet. I am also a survivor of a lot of trauma. And that I deserved space, boundaries and healing like everyone else. The fact that I can’t always voice these needs and assert myself is a result of a lot of being taken advantage of. I invite you to continue reading what I write. It’s a good way for me to communicate with you, in the limited state I am in. But remember, value in all of this is in Truth. Not anything I say or do. Trust truth. Not me. It’s about God. Not me. You have been very generous to me in what you have offered me. Or in what you have tried to offer me. I know that one day, I will feel worthy of love. You’re making yourselves forget by focusing on this. Remember my message.

The way people are using technology to spy on others is deplorable, an abomination to God. God values enormously the privacy of people. God will defend me. Thank God for His vindication, which is coming! Promise not to say I told you so… It’s your choice. Do you want to be a bully? Or do you want to act in love? Time will tell. And time and what will happen will ultimately separate the goats from the sheep. Who ever said that because you are a Christian, we need to be nice to people all of the time? We treat people accordingly. I think you will get a shock when you find out that this whole time, you were supposed to be worshipping Jesus in the Mass. Not me. 

Sorry. I cannot apologise for what people are not giving me the opportunity to consent. Maybe I get the reasons you are spying on me. Still, this method of surveillance is not simply for surveillance. It’s the same reason my confessions are being recorded. I cannot tell you how much damage to the morality and mental health this is doing upon society. Look, privacy is a human right. One which I have forfeited for the sake of my ministry. You are not giving me a chance if you go to the extent of 007 espionage to find out about what I am doing. Jesus. 

Call me naïve. I still am not entirely sure whether people are reading this. I’m sure that I do not have to tell you that I am not writing with the intention of being heard. This is my private journal where I express some very personal stuff. Not being privy with technology I guess serves only to further my naivety. I need an outlet. And I will continue to write. I will admit that if others are in fact reading this, it offers me a platform through which to voice my thoughts, in the limited physical and emotional state that I am in. But again, that these are my reflections and emotions and what is in this may not always be that positive. Although, I feel for the most part, it has been. Read. If it is encouraging you. 

There are some things, which you are not intended to see. There is another dimension to my privacy that is important. Some of the things I am writing into private journals God wants to be surprise. It’s all good. 

If He desires it to be surprise, it certainly will. I am and have only been telling you the truth this whole time. I don’t know really any human being who would openly be so transparent with every part of his life. With the entire world. How is your memory? I don’t say that to taunt you. But to remind you. You are forgetting for a reason. Satan is trying to kill me. This is the reason all of my sins are coming out prior to what caused them. Don’t forget invincible ignorance is a very Biblical and Catechetical thing. If what I am claiming is true, wouldn’t it logically follow? I know how incredibly, awfully small and weak I am. I do not want to do this. I keep saying I am not your political sacrifice. The reason I feel I am being chosen for this is because I am so terribly weak. I do not want this. I don’t want to hurt more. I want my wife. It’s frightening seeing how things are progressing. If it’s possible, I would rather die in peace, with my wife. I cannot help what is being placed on my heart by God. By the Holy Ghost. I have the Holy Ghost as much as anyone else. The reason they do not want you to think I have changed, that I am a different man is because of my politics. You know it to be true. I am extremely weak. I am very, very small. Yes, God uses the weak and the small to do enormous things. I keep saying. I will keep saying: I just want peace. You are misunderstanding. I am terribly traumatised still. I need two things for my healing. I need to confront this beast of an abuse story that seems to want to stay in the shadows. In other words, I need truth to come. Secondly, I need the love I never received as a child. The curse is broken. But I need help with this contract of sorrow. I cannot achieve this on my own. You will see.

I don’t know or understand what it is that you need me to do. Are you expecting me to be silent in private emails? Are you expecting me to be silent while using my private computer? Are you expecting me to be silent in terms of what I watch in my home? Let us prepare a list. I don’t know that what you are asking is humanly possible. Please, I am begging you not to hurt me more. I don’t know what it is that I need to be obedient to. Are you forgetting what I have already endured? I had a serious head injury when I was younger. Maybe I just do not understand what it is that you need. No one has told me clearly. You are expecting a lot of me. The least you could do is tell me clearly what you want me to do. The reason you can't is because you know you may be goading against the tide of God. Why do you silence a prophet of God? Look, I will be silent. If you think that will keep me safe. I do not understand where I need to be silent. Places where I have always assumed that I have privacy, like in confession, have become pedestals. For people telling my sins to others. Every sin I have commit was in reaction to what happened to me. Every sin I have commit, which I remember, has either occurred before my baptism or has been confessed already. I have confessed sins from before my baptism. You are not getting the full picture. Please. What do you want? As far as I can see the only reason you would want me to be silent about my story is because you are threatened by it. This may be the case. Truth about what happened to me feels like the only leverage I have against people who truly want to do me lethal harm. It feels like there is nothing I can do. You want me to be accountable. No one has been more accountable than me. I not only confessed my sins to priests who were sharing them with the world. I also took a lot of my sins to the authority. In faith that what happened to me would come out at the time.

I never know what people are upset at. It’s hard for me to process how I write something privately and all of a sudden, heads are turning. Hard for me to process those reactions because they make no sense. Surely, you can’t have access to what I am writing/watching. Schizophrenics used to believe people were spying on them. With this presupposition in mind, I come to the conclusion that people don’t believe me about what happened to me. This feels terribly threatening to me as I have seen how angry people get when they forget my story. Still publicly, it’s only thing I have said. This method of communication is absurd to me and makes little sense. I don’t know what you’re thinking. I cannot handle wavering 

attitudes towards me. Scares me to death. Please just don’t pay attention to me. Don’t be mean about it. Just treat me like anyone else. Consistency is key. Let’s see how long we can go. 

Everyone deserves privacy though. There are a couple of documents on my computer, which I don’t mind sharing. But, my work is not open source. This is my work. Seeing how my experiences with VPN has failed over the last while, I am not going to get that. Please respect my right to my work though. My computer is not public. As much as I am a prophet, I am also a human being and a survivor. I find myself censoring myself sometimes, knowing that others have access to my electronic devices. People need boundaries to thrive. You have to know that it is wrong. And I protest...

I’m sure I do not have to keep telling you that you need not read what I am writing here. Nobody is forcing you to read what I am writing. I don’t even know how it’s possible that you are. Regardless, no one is forcing you to. No one is forcing you to.

Please remember that my computer is not a public forum. This is not a newspaper. I deserve privacy just like anyone else, an essential basic need. All I am doing is writing into my private computer. I’m saying that in the gentlest way I can, knowing how this has benefited me in having a voice. Originally, I never intended or consented for it to be a medium for people to follow. But I want to thank you for listening and for your faith. I will continue to stand up for truth. Just know that I have never consented to this. I will continue to encourage. What is meant to happen will happen. No one can blame you for how you’re reacting now. You don’t know my story. It’s very difficult to trust something you cannot see. Or in this case, something in which there is no corroboration. Don’t forget everything I have done and said. Don’t forget my message. Again, I’m asking you not to believe until there is evidence. I am not looking for attention. But I am going to need validation for my healing and well being. Validation of what happened to me. #Saintinaday!

I also hope that you can understand that this journal is not necessarily intended as a public forum. I speak my thoughts here. And I hope you can understand that some of my thoughts are fleeting. Some thoughts may be sparked by emotion. And I hope you can appreciate that this is my journal, which, in many ways, I began as part of my healing journey from some very serious traumas. In that, I am writing this for myself first. 

This is not like a newspaper. I keep personal thoughts here. Especially in my phone. I actually purchased a VPN a couple of years ago, which I had installed on my phone, though I don’t think it worked. For a while, I noticed relative anonymity but then, as I remained on the same server for a while, people started to react again to what I was jotting down. It’s good. I think it’s a good channel of communication for myself and others. Especially in the uninhibited way it allows me to communicate, in the state that I am in. But I feel that we are a bit off page in comprehending each other with this type of communication. Silence is not lack of concern. You know very well how I feel. Nothing will change. You know what I have been through. I can’t help but feeling as though we are out of sync in terms of what we expect of each other. This method of communication leaves a lot to the imagination and for speculation. At times, leaving us in conflicting paths in terms of things we are reacting to. I can wake up one morning and walk about my day with people being really pleased with me all day, then, with a pin fall, their reactions can do a 180 because of a YouTube video I liked. Still, it’s a good method of communication, considering the limited state I am in now. Truth will come out when it comes out.

Youtube history and facebook newsfeed aren’t forums for public statements. Not the best place to form an opinion about a person. Please don’t let what I ‘like’ on Facebook blind you from everything I have 

been through and done. We are more than what we do and say. I say this with love, we have to do more than listen to what we hear. Examine your beliefs and see why you believe them. What I watch on youtube does not completely shape my perspectives. With respect, I understand your curiosity. But I think it may be not right to form an opinion of a person based on the things they watch and like on social media. A lot of this stuff is only my opinion. But there is a reason for that opinion. Yesterday I wrote a post that I want to stop paying attention to other people. I very much want to please people, because I know the position of responsibility I have. But to please all is not practical now. What I meant by saying this is that I just don’t want to allow people’s opinions to hinder me from doing what I need to. Again, my youtube viewing history is set to private. My Instagram profile has a silly username. You need not be curious.

I’m not going to apologise for what I say in private conversations. This is not about my opinion, what I say or do. This is about truth. People know that I am a follower of the Way of Jesus. This is not a secret. That does not make me perfect. Far from it. It is for the broken Jesus came. To me, Christ is the true path to know God. Through Him, a relationship with and forgiveness with God are accessible. But again, I possess only insight about the True path. What I have written in this book and throughout these letters, I know for Truth or am testifying because of my faith through the experiences I have had and through what is written through the Word of God. And I believe the Word of God is Truth. Love, peace and illumination in truth is the way to know God. I know this for Truth. But love works in both directions. It is not lucid, otherwise it is not love and becomes submission.

The message of this entry is that you have a choice to read this. Nobody is forcing you to. This is kind of absurd to me at times. Considering that I am only writing in my personal computer. Does everybody have access to everybody’s computer and device these days? I see the benefit. In my case. Please remember that privacy is very important to human feelings of safety. 

I’ve gotten a VPN on my phone. Call me naïve. I am just realising what this is for. The notes I make on my phone are where I record my thoughts throughout the day. Not all of them are intended to be read by others. People deserve and have a right to privacy. Again, it’s okay. And I understand your curiosity. Just my phone.

I want the best for God. I know privacy is not a part of that plan. The reason I talk about privacy and its importance is because I realise how the human nature reacts to unwanted intrusion. Reason I got a VPN on my phone is because some things I write as notes in my phone are simply random thoughts and I don’t necessarily want to express those thoughts publicly.

Around the time when I started realising that my confessions were not being held in exclusive privacy, God the Father came to me, telling me that if I needed to confess, He personally would be my confessor. He was offended by this breach and offered to hear my confession whenever I needed. He tells me, after confessing to Him that I am brand new, I am spotless like a lamb without blemish. 

The reason I continue to write is because of reactions I am always getting when I view something online or write something in this computer or on my phone. Do we all take privacy for granted that we forget how important it is for a human being to thrive and to grow? Every so often, my computer, my private computer, which I purchased for myself, into which I write private thoughts about my healing journey, documents I am writing into, don’t save properly. It says that the document is open elsewhere and can’t be opened. Then it spews some nonsense about changes being made globally. My work is not open source. I have not consented to this. Consent is important, isn’t it? Especially for a 24 year rape survivor. I’d guess it would be. 

I’ve tried a lot to not talk about politics. I don’t represent anybody. Remember from where you were getting your information from for the first five years. There is no literal way you can get me to apologise for things I do in my privacy. My message is greater than politics. There are aspects of truth in every perspective. You need to know that all of you are doing so well. God is bigger than politics. You know my early literature. This is my message and all you need to know. Coincidentally, it is one of a very few things I have said publically. (I wrote this years before beginning my perpetual defence argument). I am not even teaching with a lot of what I say. So we are very clear, I don’t represent anything more than me. At the moment, I have no more authority than anyone in the Spirit… Even lay Catholics possess the Spirit of God. And perhaps, to a greater degree for points in humility.

Here is probably a familiar quote: I cannot consent what I cannot control. And - surely people are allowed to have an opinion... "Tell me, how can I be silent when seemingly everyone has unrestricted access to every writing tool I use? I have changed my personal electronic devices countless times. When that has failed, I started writing in journal books. People broke into my room, or otherwise went through my belongings without my consent. They have many times broken into my lock box. Even in places I felt most safe. For as far back as I remember, my internet traffic has been universally sniffed. Without cause. You know I have not looked at porn in over six years. You can tell me to be silent. It is quite impossible. If you don't like what you see, you know what to do. This depends on you. Not me. I will not stop writing."

The problem seems not to get any better. I am sorry to my friends who have to listen to me like this. But, I feel it needs to be said. It is an immoral thing what is happening that cannot be justified. People know who I have been for the past decade but especially over the past five years. I have done my best to explain the reasons for my difficulties as a child and as a young man. I keep trying to share with people what I was even then enduring. The danger, I feel is not personal but rather how the permittance of this behavior is leading to shape and alter the morality of individuals who perceive this going on. I pray for those who are responsible and pray God reveals the truth about how this behavior affects not only me, but everybody else who is observing. When it was discovered that Padre Pio was being spied on, the reigning pope condemned the act strongly because he recognized the dignity of the human being and the right to privacy, free from undesired intrusion. Kind of the same reason the seal of Catholic confession is so strict and guarded. Padre Pio, at the time, was also accused of discrepency, which was later proved to be false. Maybe a half truth. I can imagine there was a desire to humiliate the priest on part of the recorders. I do not understand the methods being used to spy on me if they are strictly for surveillance. 

The point of this: First of all, it is a blatant violation of my human rights. You need know, without hesitation or mildest doubt, that privacy is of utmost importance to God. This is not a matter of opinion. God values the human life. He values the rights to the self in the same way. Just like He values intellectual property. Like He doesn't want us to be victims of abuses after abuses. Just like God does not want to extinguish the light of His children. No, friends, it's not God. It is not God who is tempting you to do this. Not God at all. You are going to have to set back to the drawing boards. To be clear, I am not even worried about me any longer. If you cannot see the fact that this is an erosion of the state and a blatant and tyrrannical abuse of power, I don't know if I can help you. If you cannot see the fact that if they can do all of this to me, yet you feel safe from this happening to you in the very near future, I don't know if anyone can help you. Mark my words, friends, it will not be long before you are deemed a threat and they come after you. It's not prophecy. It's not even foresight. It's simple math. Deduction at the very simplest. Repent, you nations. God is in control. 

Vatican II.

VII Essay:

Notes:

I am not a learned. I am not anyone of substance. My sole defence for this critique is the love in my heart placed there by the Holy Ghost. For I know the authority that the Holy Ghost has given to me. I am as Catholic as they come. A very strong Trad Cat. I love my faith. It's why I write this. It is not my intention to criticise a beautiful organisation - one which I have grown exceptionally to love - but rather to, through a direct and sober analysis of its direction and course, guide it gently back on track. It is not my intent to criticise. Rather, there are many beautiful aspects of this document. I'm sure there are many beautiful aspects of every text of religion in the world. My intention is to provide for a basis of discussion the intent and practicality of the texts here. And, of course, if I am nobody, if I am crazy above that, what should it matter what I write or say? BUT... there is in fact, very much, which is beautiful and good in this council.

These are a number of my notes on the first three sections of Vatican 2. I invite you to read and think about all of this. Again, I want to emphasise that it is not my intention to criticise. God knows. God sees. I trust Him.

Dei Verbum: 

Notes:

Even the Apostle Paul alludes to spiritual experiences he had, which he chose not to include in His letters out of humility. Is it not the same humility with which we approach Scripture? With the understanding that we know all we need know for our salvation? But, what I argue here is that to censor and hinder new revelation, which is blatant and persistent, may not be conducive to healthy faith. If God were trying to make something new known to His people, who can prevent it? Fullness of all Revelation in Christ. "we now await no further new public revelation before the glorious manifestation of our Lord Jesus Christ" This is pretty limiting. What of the one third of prophecies in the Word and given to seers every day in the Church? Worthy of investigation. At least an open mind. What of Fatima? Medjugorje? Malachi?

Very beautiful. But it doesn't really contain much substance. Almost as though a council was convened just to convene a council!

I like the sacred scripture\sacred tradition connection.

"But the task of authentically interpreting the word of God, whether written or handed on, (8) has been entrusted exclusively to the living teaching office of the Church, (9) whose authority is exercised in the name of Jesus Christ. This teaching office is not above the word of God, but serves it, teaching only what has been handed on, listening to it devoutly, guarding it scrupulously and explaining it faithfully in accord with a divine commission and with the help of the Holy Spirit, it draws from this one deposit of faith everything which it presents for belief as divinely revealed." 

Again, a good thing to have shepherds watching over us. Teaching us. What happens when these shepherds have become corrupted? Their teaching corrupted? Seems like a reach for control. Would you follow the teaching office if it taught that we are to kill our enemies? Murder? Lie? Steal? The Word is always paramount. This will be the grounding upon which our faith is built. And yes, for the past two millennium, the teaching office has safeguarded the faith very well. 

"Therefore, since everything asserted by the inspired authors or sacred writers must be held to be asserted by the Holy Spirit, it follows that the books of Scripture must be acknowledged as teaching 

solidly, faithfully and without error that truth which God wanted put into sacred writings (5) for the sake of salvation."

"However, since God speaks in Sacred Scripture through men in human fashion, (6) the interpreter of Sacred Scripture, in order to see clearly what God wanted to communicate to us, should carefully investigate what meaning the sacred writers really intended, and what God wanted to manifest by means of their words."

"literary forms."

This opens the door for Scripture to be interpreted as allegory. When Scripture is interpreted as allegory, genesis and revelation are the first to be questioned. If we allow ourselves to question the foundation of the world, we can question anything in the faith. If Genesis got it wrong, what makes you think that any other book of the Bible is true? I prefer to have faith in my God. I take Him at His Word. I don't think that He is deceitful with His words. Do you?

Yes, the Hebrew Testament was pointing to Jesus as the Messiah. This was its purpose and mission. But, it was not its only purpose and mission. This ignores a wide history and original plan in the first Elect of God. The purpose of whom will remain in tact, until the end, when they receive as one family unit, the Lord Jesus. Maybe I am being too critical of the text. But it seems like, Dei Verbum is rejecting the fullness of Life prior to Jesus. I'll keep reading!

Also, from a personal opinion, yes, the New Testament is the most important. Because it is about Jesus. But, it is a unit! I have always wondered how certain Gospels and epistles and books were excluded from the Canon of Sacred Scripture. 'In the end, one will come who will make popular this Book of Enoch again.' (From Enoch) Certainly, many were not as reliable. But certainly they were essential to even the Apostles. The apostles would have been very familiar with the Book of Enoch and other texts. Still, the four Gospels and letters are sufficient to know the truth as Church has instructed. It's a good thing.

Feelings are not the Spirit.*

So, it is mentioned that teaching office has the responsibility to guide faithful in matters of Truth and according to the Laws laid out in Sacred Scripture. How much more so the case now? 

If there are more elements to Truth than found in Sacred Scripture, careful effort should be taken in assessing truths. Truths like Garabandal, Fatima, Medjugorje. As the Bride of Christ, we should always be eager to continually progress with the Spirit of God. In the ways He is guiding us. But, we need to stay rooted in Christ. The Word of God is the root. And let us test all new revelation by the Word of God. But, let us have a diverse census of assessors. So that their decision in this matter will not be tainted by envy, greed or political censorship.

Lumen Gentium: 

Notes:

It's interesting how quickly we have abandoned the mission to bring Christ to all men. And instead have adopted a universal view of salvation, where everyone can be saved. Not a critique of the text but of the direction of the church.

I'm sure i will have much chance to examine this thought later. But i just wanted to point out that the 

mission of the Church should not be too concerned with material and social well-being of faithful that they neglect their spiritual well being.

Be prudent about trying to create a heaven on Earth. We should always remember that this world is broken and ill. It is fading away. It is not, nor can ever be, a utopia. The concept that earth can be a heaven is a communist propaganda. 

Again, be prudent in labeling any of the Word of God as metaphor. If we can call one part of the Word metaphor, what is to stop us from saying the whole thing is metaphor. Slippery slope and lack of faith.

I don't understand the Church's position on suffering. Certainly, it is meant to foster faith. Especially in times of darkness. But God wants our love and happiness and joy.

"Allow the visible social structure of the Mystical Body of Christ to shine forth the light of Christ."

"Just as Christ carried out the work of redemption in poverty and persecution, so the Church is called to follow the same route that it might communicate the fruits of salvation to men."

"is not set up to seek earthly glory, but to proclaim, even by its own example, humility and self-sacrifice."

Just because one is suffering does not mean that they are suffering in Christ. Suffering itself does not make one holy.

The unity of people, that God does not save people individually, erodes individualism. Individuality is a virtue to God. 

I am not a learned. But, I have a hunch that most councils were written and drafted in response to changing world dynamics. Please, this is unnecessary! The Church never changes. Even with the world.

I just want to say: sometimes it is not the will of God for the faithful to subject themselves to abuse for the sake of testimony. God wants us to use our voice and speak up when we are enduring chronic treatment.

Can the discernment even of the Body of Christ, whether it be a hierachical leader or a lay man, be influenced by outside morality? If the conscience of the world changes around the Church, can the Church be led to a state where its own conscience has been compromised?

There is a fine line between extinguishing the Spirit in creatures of God and discerning the validity of extraordinary gifts. I remember hearing a story from a brother Carthusian who told me that a Carthusian monastery unearthed their cemetery after some years and finding a number of bodies incorrupt, they simply reburied them. There is a difference between humility and hiding light. Mark my words, it is not God who desires to hide the light of men. Let your light shine, all the earth! Let your light shine! Let not our attempts to discern validity of miracles do away with the fact that miracles are actually being done.

I agree that other religions have access to God but we should do everything we can to draw them to Christ and true religion.

The Savior wills that all men be saved. But not without the Messiah of Love. Christ. This is the reason we must preach the Gospel to all ends of the earth.

Surely, apostolic succession is fruitful and real. We must be wary to guard and safeguard the integrity of the body that chooses the successor as well as the successor himself. There must be options when the successor or the choosing body are compromised. How will we know if the Church has been compromised? If it begins to advocate adoption of sin into morality. If it should propagate heresy or apostasy. Etc. Let us be discerning of every decision. What is the reason for this decision? Is it rooted in love? Or in envy/fear? I ask the question again, would you, the lay person, follow the Roman Pontiff into sin? It is a hypothetical question of course. But one that needs to be asked. I follow Christ first. Not the pope first. 

An innocent question about this though. Christ says leaders among you are to serve. That we are not to rule over the flock as the world leaders rule over the gentiles. This element of hierarchecal division causes envy and competition. Prudence!

Universal church's unity is found in Catholicism. Not individual cultures. This is what separates the Church from the world. I admit, it is kind of beautiful to have churches who are solely Ghanian, or churches that are solely Jamaican. but this is not our religion. This is culture. The Latin Mass, language and liturgy unites the entire body of Christ under Catholicism. If we introduce culture, at the expense of Catholicism, where is the end? Slippery slope. Soon the Eucharist will be replaced by pita bread or maise bread.

"Among the principal duties of bishops the preaching of the Gospel occupies an eminent place.

and vigilantly warding off any errors that threaten their flock."

The Church has little business in economic, civic and social issues. MLK Jr. once said that when a religion teaches faith and love but neglects that man's body and needs it is no longer religion. It's true, isn't it? And it's appealing isn't it? Almost too appealing. It works on our empathy and compassion. We need to remember that to help a person - to truly and actually help them, we need to give them the tools to help themselves. Yes, of course, seeing a man starving on the street, who wouldn't be drawn to give him a meal? But, what I say is that charity cannot stop there. We have a responsibility to train our flock to be able to lift themselves up.

For the laity, the idea that we are to live up to holiness, the expectation for holiness in life is an impossible expectation. Yes, sanctity, to aspire to be saints is a lifelong journey. But this idea rejects the notion that we are all, in fact, sinners. Every single one of us, broken from the fall. It creates in us unrealistic expectations and impossible qualifications for people to live up to sanctity. It is a good and sacred thing to aspire for holiness. But we must never forget that we are broken sinners. Even with confession, we must never abandon the fact that we are always, in this life, on the path toward perfection. We have not achieved it yet.

"In the first place, the shepherds of Christ's flock must holily and eagerly, humbly and courageously carry out their ministry, in imitation of the eternal high Priest"

"May the goods of this world be more equitably distributed among all men, and may they in their own way be conducive to universal progress in human and Christian freedom." 

This statement is communistic. It is not a bad thing to support the material well-being of people. But, the way to do it is not in redistribution. We need to encourage growth of the human being. Catholicism's intent is to nurture the spiritual well-being of the human being. What good is it to a poor and hungry person if they do not have the capacity to sustain their health, after giving them some food?

Again, holiness of life is unreasonable expectation for human beings. It is an admirable pursuit and the goal of all Christians but it is impossible. Only small children are qualified. We need to embrace our sinfulness and change. This is where repentence comes from. Let me say this in another way. Sin is the greatest illness in mankind. If we cannot, if we do not acknowledge our need for grace and repentence, the sacrifice of Christ is not in our grasp. Brothers, sisters, I say it out of deepest love for you. We need to recognise our own personal sinfulness. It's literally the first step of being a Christian. If you jumped ahead, no need to worry. It is never too late! Call upon Him. Jesus only. If we don't think we are sinners, we will adopt a righteous attitude and think we are not in need of our Savior. This is a dangerous position for a Christian to be in. "If you say I have no sin, you make God a liar." We forget that this call to sanctity is a process. And nobody is exempt from inclusion to sainthood. Have you forgotten so quickly that Paul was murderous against the believers?

Parents: They should embue their offspring, lovingly welcomed as God's gift, with Christian doctrine and the evangelical virtues.

And by saying that God is a god of love is generally misleading. God is a God of Love but we are to love ourselves as well. If we neglect love for ourselves, love can begin to look like submission. Submission is based in fear. Not love. Sometimes it is prudent to act in ways that may not on the surface seem like loving our neighbor but which we must do to secure our safety and their repentance.

I am confused by the term their own proper state in life? This seems limiting to the human spirit. Surely, as with other contrasting Scriptures, the Word encourages us to become as lighted candles on a hill.

Of course, Mother Church does and should maintain the deliberation regarding religious vocations. If I could speak to the individuals making the choices, I would encourage them to discern long and hard. Be more prepared to embrace and welcome than to reject and refuse. The discernment comes as important in weeding out goats from the sheep who seek to infiltrate. Like communists, freemasons, etc. But we should always view candidates with love first. Maybe not. Maybe it's just that I see the natural good in people. Be discerning. Cannot hurt. If a vocation is from God, it will persist. And I do suppose that a good and efficient way of weeding candidates is by fire.

"This Sacred Council accepts with great devotion this venerable faith of our ancestors regarding this vital fellowship with our brethren who are in heavenly glory or who having died are still being purified; and it proposes again the decrees of the Second Council of Nicea,(20*) the Council of Florence (21*) and the Council of Trent.(22*) And at the same time, in conformity with our own pastoral interests, we urge all concerned, if any abuses, excesses or defects have crept in here or there, to do what is in their power to remove or correct them, and to restore all things to a fuller praise of Christ and of God."

Sacrosanctum Concilium:

Notes:

In the introduction, (I cannot believe what I am reading) 

"This sacred Council has several aims in view: it desires to impart an ever increasing vigor to the Christian life of the faithful; to adapt more suitably to the needs of our own times those institutions which are subject to change; to foster whatever can promote union among all who believe in Christ; to strengthen 

whatever can help to call the whole of mankind into the household of the Church. The Council therefore sees particularly cogent reasons for undertaking the reform and promotion of the liturgy.

I am not a canon lawyer, priest or anyone of substance. Just a layman who practices his faith very seriously. I can honestly only point out how absurd it seems to alter the format of the liturgy for any means.

"Lastly, in faithful obedience to tradition, the sacred Council declares that holy Mother Church holds all lawfully acknowledged rites to be of equal right and dignity; that she wishes to preserve them in the future and to foster them in every way."

This quote is interesting because of what is happening recently in terms of the restrictions being placed on Tradition.

Promotion of active participation in liturgy: 

I personally feel that what separates protestantism and catholicism is the Mass, the Liturgy and the Eucharist. There is no need for participation of the congregation in the Mass. As they are not as important as the reason for the Mass being offered. Another central point which separates protestantism from Catholicism is reverence. The Mass is not a worship event. It is literally the sacrifice of the calvary and cross.

The Liturgy never needed to change. Active participation by the faithful discourages reverence. In Liturgy, the priest presents the prayers to God in place of the faithful. In persona Christi.

You make it seem like the Latin Liturgy is beyond comprehension. When a love for the liturgy is fostered, which should arise naturally within the faithful, a growing comprehension will grow for the liturgy. This is where the Missal comes in use. I have been attending the Latin Liturgy only two or three years but I have the entire Mass memorised. It's not out of duty. It is out of love.

Ritual simplicity devalues its beauty.

"The sermon, moreover, should draw its content mainly from scriptural and liturgical sources, and its character should be that of a proclamation of God's wonderful works in the history of salvation, the mystery of Christ, ever made present and active within us, especially in the celebration of the liturgy."

No argument here.

"Particular law remaining in force, the use of the Latin language is to be preserved in the Latin rites."

No argument here.

Is one language divisive for the unity of the Church? On the contrary, a unifying language, Liturgy and celebration is incredibly unifying. The Church is made up of many nations, people and languages. It is this central unifying element which unites us. A liturgy in native tongue and tradition, like the Tower of Babel, is what divides. Think of it like this: if an African is visiting Canada one day, speaks no English but is Catholic, he can still participate in the Mass.