The tale of Norman the Frog

 So... Normans story is not quite as unique. When Norman was young, in fact only a wee tadpole, (haha) he was orphaned. Don't worry! It's quite common in the frog world for tadpoles (haha) to be left on their own to fend for themselves. Still, Norman met another tadpole while they were in the pond. The pond was in southern Alabama. The other tadpoles name was Dorothy. Dorothy and Norman became inseparable. They chased tiny water bugs together and played hide and seek amongst the bullrushes and Lilly pads! Until one day, Norman was out looking for a bouquet of water flowers to give to Dorothy when a man with a long white coat came along and scooped him up from the pond. He was in a container of some sort. Worried, he would never see Dorothy again, he smacked against the wall of the container. Farther, farther away from the pond they got. Until it was out of sight. Norman was brought to a lab, where he was kept in a aquarium. Days would pass. He became surprised when his little tail began to metamorphosis into adorable little legs. Next, his upper body grew and took shape. He could no longer recognize himself! One night, after the scientists had gone home, turned off the lights, Norman began to jump. Instinctively, he knew how to jump. And boy! Could Norman jump high! He burst right through the lid in the aquarium and landed on the floor of the lab. Turning about, here and there, Norman spotted an open window in the corner of the room. He sprang over towards it. He jumped. And jumped. Regardless of how hard he tried, he couldn't reach the window opening! Well, did you know that frogs just happen to be quite intelligent too. They are not only high jumpers! Some even go on to higher learning! Norman found some refuse gathered across the floor and piled it all together, climbed up to the top and gave it another shot. He wound up his legs tightly and sprang up as mightily as he possibly could. There! He could see the outside! And he was perched on the window sill! It was dark outside but he felt he'd better make a run for it. He paused a moment, deciding which way to go. Shutting his eyes tightly, he felt a pull in his heart. It was guiding him to the east! He must have sprang for hours. The light was coming up. Luckily, no cars were oot and aboot. To his surprise, in the misty mornings light, Norman began to recognize his surroundings. There he was! He recognized that tree! And he recognized this arrangement of flowers! And behold, as Normans field of view expanded, there before him, was his very home. His very pond! Norman, exhausted, sprang speedily towards it. He was gleefully about to leap in when something caught his eye. Someone. She was a remarkably beautiful, shapely and kind looking amphibian. The eyes, he recognized her eyes. Could it be? Norman thought to himself. "Dorothy?" He asked the female frog. "That's me," she replied. "And who are you?" He waited a moment in silence to give her a chance to recognize him. After a moment, her adorable eyes lighted up and she gazed at him with wonder. "Norman. Norman, is it you?!" The two sprung into each other's arms and kissed passionately. The two were married and loved happily ever after. Norman became a bit of a celebrity about the pond that day. A legend so to speak. Some say that Norman knew the direction of his home because of magnetic influence in his brain. Norman knew the truth. Norman knew very well that it was his love for Dorothy that drew him back to the pond. She was his binary star. His celestial twin. Caught up in an eternal dance of galactic gravity. The two were wed and unlike the custom of amphibians, stuck around and raised their tadpoles. They grew old together, there at the pond, surrounded by their fifteen hundred children. Some left the pond. But most stayed. Because of the love they received from their loving parents. Norman the frog and Dorothy the frog.

Cawl Twin - by Pete.

Enwrapped in a cosmic and ecliptic embrace,

I am trapped in your eternal, illuminating face.

How can I speak a name to this feeling inside? 

Where can I find a place from which to hide?

It is a burning blaze within.

I cannot gaze between

The pages of this love.

Enwrapped in our cosmic embrace,

I am lost in this your eternal face.

I feel that you are playing games with me.

But then, you literally show me the reality of eternity.

So funny that after all of this time, 

I still cannot fathom your love for me,

I keep feeling it will turn on a dime. 

This love between us, this agape,

Feels literally too good to be true.

You were sent from above,

Sent from God to liberate me. 

How could it be possible that this love should be so stifled?

Where can I find a place from which to hide?

Still, I find myself crying out, searching someone to love me for me.

I wonder: is it me you love me for?

I think it is. 

I wonder why you share what I say with others, 

as though my words could change history? 

I am only a man.

I can verily only do what I can.

Still, I will try to keep this up.

I will try to keep going. 

My attraction for you is so deep.

Your soul is like an ocean,

Your heart like a playground.

I wish you would respect my privacy,

But I understand why you don't.

How can I find a vent to these feelings inside?

From where can I find a place to hide?

Here it is: I love you. 

Unbelievably.

Undeniably.

Inconceivably.

How could it be that it could never be?

From where can I find a place inside to hide?

All the same, what we have, my special friend, 

Is so incredibly strong. 

And I know that nothing will be able to shake it.

We have the perfect friendship.

The perfect relationship.

Few others actually find the degree of intimacy 

That you and I have found out to be,

Truer than true.

You are my cawl twin.

My cawl twin, born on separate dates.

You and I are irrevocably,

Undeniably and inconceivably united at heart.

It is a connection inconceivable.

One that not even twins could achieve 

In their heavenly destination of creation in heart and soul.

Never once,

In all of the history of mankind's history has there been such an intimacy. 

Built entirely upon our chastity. 

How could we deny the Third Cord's role in this divine mystery.

You awaken my senses, every sense within me

To the intensity of survival and exclusivity.

How could it be that this is not a love that can be?

From where can I find a place to hide from these feelings within me?

Every fault that I can see within you, 

Screams out to me like the softest, gentlest whisper,

Telling me to love it and to serve it,

As though it were my own left ventricle.

Here it is, I love you. And I know in my heart that it can never be.

All of the intimacy, still it is not lost. 

Because in our chastity, we have achieved victory,

Through third Cord, we have achieved success. 

We will never be put to shame nor reclusivity.

Because of our passion, I know we shall be rewarded, 

For keeping our chastity.

I want you to know that I love you enormously. 

I love you like a twin, a cawl twin. My cawl twin from heaven. 

God Himself whispered in my ear to tell you what was in my heart.

How could it be that you and I cannot be? 

From where can I find relief, a place to hide from these feelings inside?

For I know that even now, you violate my privacy

With the same intention as everyone else. 

You simply want to know me,

You simply desire to get to know my heart.

Your heart is so filled with glory.

So filled with the history of another story.

God, I want to know your story, 

To be a part of your story.

To know that I am, in any respect, fills my heart with success.

You are the fire, set beneath my cauldron of love.

How can it be that you and I, we could never be? 

From where can I hide from these feelings that rise up within me?

We tell each other stories,

We sing each other songs,

We lay each other to sleep, 

How could it be that you and I could never be?

From where can I hide from these feelings that rise up within me?

Still, you have put on my heart a greater destiny.

For you have given me an awareness of my own love.

You have awoken within me a love, which I had no idea rested within my heart.

You have awoken my heart to the fact that I am worthy of love.

I am learning to accept this truth.

And I have you to thank for this entirely.

It may be that our love is not meant to be purposefully.

For the purpose of destiny. 

However it may be, 

I choose to fight, 

I want you to know that I will fight for you and me.

For as many arm wrestling sessions as needs to be.

For the emotional intimacy between you and me,

blossoms passionately.

I still do not know if you are for real.

All I know is what you have shown me.

And I desire to trust. The first time in my life.

For you have awakened my heart, 

In a way that no one else ever has. 

I long to regard you with dignity. 

And with the dignity you deserve.

I thank you for showing me that I am worthy.

I am worthy of love. I am worthy of God's love entirely.

How can it be that I met you when I did? 

I want you to know how incredibly grateful I am for you.

I want you to know how incredibly grateful you are, and that I see you so gratefully.

Around me, all I am seeing is people blinded by this devastating fog, 

This fog that fills me with perplexity.

Around which, the depths of my story,

Are covered with this devastating fog.

I wonder why, in the midst of this madness, you smile at me.

You are affected by this fog too,

I have noticed a number of times that you too have forgotten.

But still, you desire also to see me with dignity and not question my integrity.

I see you for this so gratefully. 

Here it is. I am madly in love with you.

It is a chaste love. Chasted entirely,

By the Third Cord who unites us, you and me.

I await our reward patiently, 

Knowing that you, you and me, are meant to be, for eternity,

Still, I thank you for the dignity of showing me my worth and that I am worthy,

Worthy entirely of another's dignity and intimacy.

Je cherche une femme parfait.

Mais, j'ai besoin d'aidement avec mes cherchements. 

With this fog over the world regarding my story, 

It is difficult for me to build up the esteem to search and to try.

My self worth is already so shattered. Put yourself in another's shoes for an instant.

The rejection gets me unbearably. 

You and you alone showed me that I don't need to fear rejection. 

You taught me this lesson because you reached out.

Ecumenism

I don’t think it is a secret that I am a Christian man. I'd be lying if I said I was not trying to convert anyone. But in this, in what I am saying, I’m not trying to convert anyone. Only seeking to share what my gentle and beautiful God has done for me. The words of the prophets all pointed to the Messiah of Love. “For God so loved the world, that He gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.” The God of all religions is the God of Love. Jesus is the Messiah of Love. There is a god of this world. That is the one who causes pain and hurt and death and darkness. “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” Therefore all who trust in love, follow God and His Christ. In my opinion. The purpose of this life is to find God. We are not living this life for this life. But for Life. Therefore, our times are investment. To live our best, to love. God wants us to enjoy our lives.

So we are clear about my views on ecumenism. I do believe there are two opposing forces in the universe. Love, hate. Good, evil. God, Satan. To be clear: satan is not a god. But, we would be foolish to underestimate the degree of power he has been given in this state of things. In this system. In this, friends, everything we need to know is made clear. "You shall know them by their fruits." Merited, as has become evident in the past decade - most of which I believe that God will give me credit - the line distinguishing the integrity of an individual's fruit is always blurry. We do not know their culpability. We know not their situation. Therefore, we are neither in a state to judge, nor to condemn. However, what we can easily assess, is the integrity of a person's fruit at this moment. The Bible says that in the end days, some will slaughter the people of God while thinking they are doing this for God. It will not be the case. But, this tells us a lot, doesn't it? The distinction between the children of God and the children of the god of this world will be their intentions. What's in their hearts. This is what I mean by the fact that God is a God of love and can be worshipped by anyone. He can be worshipped by anyone within any religion. This worship - this worship of the true God is dependent upon our love. Entirely upon our love. And if you are to accept Him, Jesus is the Messiah of that love. Bear with me. Love we need to remember is not submissive. Submission is fear. Love knows its own value and values boundaries and disciplines. I really believe, in my heart, that there is a correct and true way of worship. It is no secret where my faith ended up. But, I believe God is a good God and that He desires, especially in these last days to gather His sheep into one big flock. Regardless of their form of worship. This will not be the one world religion. That will be the popular way. Just because it's popular doesn't mean it's right. God is not a God who is eager to shame or to put down. There is no shame in truly  and wholeheartedly offering your life and love to God in full love. God is not going to shame a Mormon if this Mormon seeks God with all of his heart. The same is true for a Muslim. Yes, indeed. As it stands, the religions are incompatible. Because the teachings are vastly different. When people realize and recognize what Jesus did for them (when truth comes out), there will again be the choice. At that time, a line will be drawn in the sand. A line indicating the true intentions of every heart. Look, I myself have studied and practiced a number of different religions. In my slow and arduous conversion process, I studied primary texts of most major world religions. I myself was a Baptist, an Evangelical, a Catholic and a Traditional Catholic (there is a reason I make a distinction there) and finally, I have even studied with the Jehovah's Witness. I will be the first to say that I am a very strong and firm Traditional Catholic. But, I can also say that I have learned a lot from every religion I have encountered. To offer an example, from the Jehovah's Witnesses, I learned a way of prayer that I never learned from my Church. I only have spiritual insight. I don't know politics. I have never studied world religions in depth. I don't know psychology. What I do know is God. He has revealed Himself to me in an almost unbelievable way and with an unbelievable grace. All of this wisdom is from Him. Humility compels us to accept as truth what is truth. Even if it means accepting a prophet of God who is flawed. God has revealed His heart to me. And I would venture to say that He has done so in a way that He has not done to any other person in the history of this race. I know why. That is for another time. The Bible is true. But, let us not forget mercy. Let us not forget compassion. Let us not become so knotted into our merit based salvation that we forget that even the worst sinner has an audience with God if he repents. Lest we forget that we all are sinners. It is a harmless plug that I am inserting reference to the Illumination of Conscience here. It will clean our hearts and make us wake up to the sin that even now, is excessively present in our own flesh. The secret sins will be revealed. There is not a thing to stop this. All I can offer you is my testimony. Again, as with everything else, I am not asking you to believe me now. Store this into the recesses of your heart. Chew on it. 

I am not causing division by having a differing opinion from you. What does my conversion look like to you? The goal should always be to strive for freedom. Allow me to be clear here also. Freedom does not mean the freedom to sin. Of course not. But, what is freedom without the freedom to sin? I ask you seriously. This would make us dictators, wouldn't it? After all, even God respects our freedom so much that He gives us the right to choose between Him and sin. This sense of freedom is integral to humanity. I'm not implying freedom necessarily in a political way. But hey, you cannot have one without the other, I think. Common sense, friends. Rest in this: God desires our freedom so much that He has given us the choice to choose evil over Him. It must be pretty important to Him, no? There is plenty of talk about diversity these days. Where is true diversity? Is it in different skin colors? Is it in the people who are different from us physically? Hah! Yes, there is diversity here. What we are seeking is unity. Unity in spite of our differences. None of this is new material or thoughts. But it is common sense. Look: true unity in diversity is among people who have different ideas than us. True peace is the tolerance of other ideas and skin colors, races. True peace is the tolerance of other religions, politics, ideas, faiths. Guys, I can actually remember a day when this was a reality. Part of the reason why I feel it can easily, easily, easily be attained again. Even when I was growing, there was a tolerance, a respect between the opposing political parties of our countries in the West. Sure, there was a little friction. But there was never violent opposition because someone had a different idea. This is in part due to the fact that fringe and dangerous ideas were not embraced in our cultures. A dangerous idea needs to be assessed very carefully. Not according to impulse and feelings of offence. But wait a minute! Doesn't that imply that we were not being tolerant and not permitting freedom? No, friends. I believe that while God values our individual freedom, God does not tolerate tyranny. He has permitted it in the past. Of course, to separate the weeds from the wheat. But, in these days, this will be a great, visible indication of the state of people's hearts. This will be the great indicator of a person's will. How much more unacceptable to God will be tyranny within God's Church.

I felt very bad about the way that I left my church in which I nurtured my faith. To this church, you are on the right track. I can explain in my mind the reason I left you when I did. My heart feels otherwise. You are a beautiful church. I was feeling a pull in my heart. It does not make you any less justified. Know that I pray for you all every single day. I pray also that this new revelation will also fuel your justification. I believe also that I could have accomplished this mission had I have stayed with you. Either way, you are very beautiful and precious to Him who sits on the throne of Heaven. I am seeing things through new eyes. You have always been very precious in my sight. It's the reason I still pray with you. 

I am so thankful for the gift of Salvation in the Gospel. I am so thankful for Christ. Because I know that even in my darkest states, the times when I feel like everything is just about to fall to pieces, Christ is right there in the middle, with His hand encompassing my own. In that vein, I have a confession to make. And I feel that it is important to escape isolation, if not judging only by my experiences of confessing what is on my heart. I was feeling as though my hope was dependent upon my works. I feel very much as though I have to prove to people that I am worthy in order to have value for myself. My identity, I’m finding, is becoming based on what others think of me. And because of this, I am losing hope. I’ve got to remind myself that my identity comes not from anything I do, or even anything of this world. My identity comes from the Truth of what Jesus did for me. My identity comes from what He says about me. I usually like to allow people to develop their own beliefs regarding their faiths because that's how I came to faith in Christ. But for what it’s worth, this is my take on the spiritual realm. Religions are people's attempts to get close to God through works and are not always a precise reflection of God. In my opinion, God sent His Son to earth because there is no act, no work that could ever redeem us and make us holy enough to stand before God. God sent His Son Jesus because we are sinners. But He still loves us. He understands why we sin. My faith is not necessarily a religion. Wait a minute! Could a Trad Cat be actually saying it? Look, I believe that even Traditional Catholicism has much to learn from other religions. I thank the good God every day that I nurtured my faith in the evangelical church. It taught me about grace. A thing I didn't learn to the same extent in Catholicism. Merited, it took me a while to come to faith in Christ, after studying many world religions, I'm still struggling to walk the path. But there is no way I could ever be perfect and I praise God that He understands and empathizes with me for that reason. God has done so much in my life around everything I've been through since I accepted the Spirit. I don't want to explain fully what I have been through here. In the face of a lot of suffering, He has offered me a great deal of hope. He has given me the hope to actually do things with my life, where once was only despair. He's given me the ability to create, whether that's writing or painting. And He has placed me on a path to healing, both physically and emotionally and the desire to live righteously. If I think now, I am probably unable to count the amount of full out addictions and self-destructive patterns that His grace has saved me from. He has helped me to heal and transform negative thoughts about myself that resulted from unfair situations, into positive. He has given me the uncanny ability to forgive the heinous and extreme case of abuse against me. Most of all, as we are all sinners, He has offered me forgiveness for those sins that I have commit. I have faith in my God who I know will forgive. A couple of nights ago, I dreamed of a loving experience and of the image of myself apologizing for something to another. Their response in my dream blew my mind. Just last night, I dreamed of a similar thing and I remember being woken by a force that whispered in my ear, “You’ve been through so much. You are forgiven. Please keep faith”. I pray that this is true. Really, I know what I deserve. But at the same time, I know what we all deserve. We deserve the wrath and judgement of God. I have faith in God’s awesome love and forgiveness in His Son. After this happened when I woke, I involuntarily started to speak in tongues. It was a familiar experience. I have only experienced it once after I received the Spirit. It was a phenomenal experience and I couldn’t get back to sleep. It was as though a foreign force was using my body. My lips and voice were working but I had no control, either to stop it or control it. I pray that I am able to live in this Truth. And I don’t doubt it. There are many people in my prayers. I am learning to pray and to pray often.

I prayed not because I have to or because I am obligated but rather because I long for the Creator to know that I want a relationship with him, that I love Him and need Him. That I cannot do this without Him. I thought more about my past for some time and realized that I was depending on myself for everything I need. It became more and more clear to me what I need to do. I needed to find the Truth of who I am. I needed to see myself the way that only God sees me. I needed to see myself in ways that no one on this earth saw me. I have struggled with this a lot over the past years. It’s a continual battle for me to trust in Christ fully with the weight of the stress that surrounds my body and spirit. It is a continual fight for me to learn to trust and rely on a force other than what I know because what I know has helped me to survive through so much. But then I remember why I was suffering in the first place. I am finally coming to live in an area that is not dictated by the events of my past. Nor is who I am dictated by what I can and should have done. 

In most religious societies and teachings, there is an imperative on part of the human being to live up to an expectation of what we feel that God desires. In short, we feel that we must do the right things, say the right things and commit works of righteousness and greatness in order for God to notice us; in order that we may be made worthy to God. The truth is that no matter what we do, say or think, we will never live up to God’s holiness. Because God knows that no matter what we do, we can never be perfect. God loves us because we are broken and hurt. Christ died for our sins in order that God’s grace and mercy would be given to us. Through faith in Christ, we are offered salvation and a direct relationship with God, the Father. “God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them” (1 John 4:16). Any religion or sect that breaks off of a religion that opposes this is not of God. Any religion that encourages or accepts unprovoked violence is not of God. The one, true religion of the Christ is just that: Love and Truth. There is no proper way of worshipping Christ as long as it comes from a standpoint of love and truth. There is valor and honor to God in humility: in the humility of worship as well as in our personal lives. Humility also implies reverence. Reverence is especially important. Not only to God. But also for us to maintain an appropriate disposition of heart. We all have different religions. Love is not fenced in. There are no boundaries when it comes to love. We have different religions. But we have universal love as well. The love that was built within us at our births. All religions are acceptable so long as they come from a standpoint of love and truth. You are one. You, the church, are one in Christ. Focus on humility in everything you do. Christ is the Messiah of all humanity. He came for the Jews. Because of His sacrifice, salvation is available for everyone who believes. People know that I am a follower of the Way of Jesus. This is not a secret. That does not make me perfect. Far from it. It is for the broken Jesus came. To me, Christ is the true path to know God. Through Him, a relationship with and forgiveness with God are accessible. But again, I possess only insight about the True path. What I have written throughout these letters, I know for Truth or am testifying because of my faith through the experiences I have had and through what is written through the Word of God. And I believe the Word of God is Truth. Love, peace and illumination in truth is the way to know God. I know this for Truth.

Remember the Gospel! This is fullness of truth. You and I, yes, everyone are sinners. Everyone of us. In spite of our best attempts to reach God with our own hard work. We were bought, we were ransomed from the pits of this sin by the sacrifice of Christ Jesus. Whether we accept this sacrifice, paid in full, is a choice we will have to make. Personally and purposefully. The truth of your reality is not what you have been through. It’s about what Christ went through and overcame. Faith is not sufficient but works are needed for God's good grace to work in us. Faith in itself will produce these good works. First, we need to believe in our hearts and confess with our mouths that Christ is Lord of all the world. Hate, in any respect, even against those who hated you, is not a good thing. The Kingdom, the reason Christ came to earth, the reason I write now and fully, the entire nature of God Almighty, stands for love. This is all about love. This life is about love. Love for each other. Love for God. Love for those who hate us. Love for ourselves. Act in love and you will be doing the will of God. The enemy is the one who fills our hearts with deception and pain and lies. He is a punk, wrought on destroying all of mankind. Do not allow your hearts to be filled with resentment. Know in your precious hearts that you are all so very loved. One person is not loved more or less according to God. All are equal in order that God’s perfect love may be revealed. This is in spite of the truth that God allots grace to some in different ways for the purpose of the proclamation of that grace. 

How can we love ourselves? Even when so much disaster has befallen our spirits. How can we love others? Even when there is so much hate and oppression in this world. How can we love God? Even when there is so much pain and suffering that good people never deserved. How can we love those who hate us, hurt us and persecute us? We can do all of those beautiful things in the knowledge of the Truth of God’s love for us. We can do all of these things knowing that God stands for everything wonderful in our world. And yes, it’s a very big universe. He created it all! And still, He notices us, our insignificant presence, marvelling at our every step, our every breath. He marvels at us enough to want so much for all of us to be free and to experience joy and love in the Truth that is absent of suffering, misery, oppression, lies and hate. We can love everyone once we accept the Spirit of the living God. This is not about religion. It’s not about who is right and justified. For there is absolutely no contest, no trial and no battle in love. Jesus, the Lord of love and peace came to earth not just for the Jews, not just for Christians, not for Jehovah’s Witness or any other. He came for all mankind that we all may know that His love is a free gift and a beautiful one. This is not about religion. It is my hope that with love and grace, you are given a glimpse of the LORD Almighty in the way that I have seen Him. Love God, act in love and peace to each other and to all neighboring others, in truth and you will be doing the will of God. I just pray that God reveals to you a knowledge of the love of Christ as it has been shown to me. There are so many similarities between most of the religions of the world. This cannot be for coincidence. It is not a judgment when I tell you that there are too many conventions and rules these days. Merited, there is a Law that God requires you to follow. And that Law is immensely important. I simply encourage you to have faith. The Law will follow if you just have faith. Our world is a truly beautiful one. Every time I look around, I wonder in amazement at everything in God’s glorious Creation. I wonder at the sight of what we have done to it as well. Hardly in a bad way. We have erected monumental metropoli, we have invented travel that can get us from one corner of the world to the opposing corner in a matter of hours. We have created communication that can connect an individual in Hong Kong to Wyoming in a flash. That is incredible. We are made in the image of God. But, at the same time, it is also a very hurting world. It is a world that is filled with enormous suffering and injustices. We live in a world where people thrive and blossom off of the hard work and pain of others. It is a world that needs a savior. And we are enormously blessed that God Almighty has sent us that Savior. With the full knowledge of what He would have to experience in order to stand by the Truth of love and everything that love stands for, God was still willing to send us His Son. Sin separates us from a God who is completely and absolutely holy. The only way we can be made holy and righteous enough to approach God, the Father is through the Savior, Jesus Christ. Church, you beautiful, worthy and strong sheep. Whatever happens, know in your hearts that in front of you lies a future none of you could imagine right now. It is a very real place. You absolutely have this to hope for. Just remember to do everything in love. Do not walk in the presence of evildoers but let us be truly invested in our discernment as to who is a true evildoer. Bear in mind, Church, here I speak to every single one of you: there are many sins being commit even by those who walk amongst you, who share at table with you. These are being commit in the dark of night. Behind closed doors. Do not worry. Help is coming. Do you feel discouraged by these, my words? If it's the case, bear this at heart: that in the last days, many who were the most holy amongst you will be the ones to turn on the true flock of God. Many, in the last days, who were considered the worst of sinners amongst you, irredeemable, will be the most glorious saints! Let it not trouble you. Simply allow this to form your faith and conviction in what Jesus has done for you. Allow it to strengthen your sanctification. Just keep strong and maintain your faith. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough to provide a voice for you. I’m trying to feel like an apology is enough. Whatever happens, know that you are all so valuable and so loved. You will be home soon. To those who suffer and those who persecute alike, the peace and joy of love and truth is within arm’s reach of you. My life is not over and while there is life, there is still an opportunity to love. I just need to know from you what you would like me to do. I can promise to never give up and to try my hardest with what has been given to me. This was a terribly difficult mission for me. From the start, the odds were stacked against me up to the brim. But I accepted it. I said I would do many things. I’m so sorry I couldn’t have been stronger. Still, one will come who will be a voice for you in a while. You know how I feel about what happened in my life. I will not give up. Love sometimes is a difficult cause to fight for. But it is always worth it. And love will triumph in the end. The Truth does not change or waver. Keep faith. Have patience. Please. 

To my brothers and sisters in true faith around the world, these are the true brothers and sisters who follow the Law of God - the Law of caritas - of love, I say this: The time has come to lay aside your differences of worship and tradition. Tradition is very beautiful. But, let us unite under the cause of love. Let us remember our unifying cause and seek to glorify this, the God of Love. In doing so, we neither subtract or add to our glorious ways of worship. But let us simply remember to do so in and for the name of love. Who am I? All I have is a story. A story of how God has touched my life. I leave this with you. But, I urge you: Remember love. Remember that love is neither submission nor fear based. Love is a free act of will, an offering of one heart to the other. In this case, heart to heart with God Himself. What better friend could we have? Love is as loving with itself as it is with others. We need to remember that we need not subject ourselves to unnecessary abuse because we 'love'. This is not love. It's submission. Love disciplines. But it never abuses. In any case, the help you need will come. These, my words, are only to prepare you for what is inevitably coming. That help will come. This is God's promise. Not mine.

We all have access to the Word of God, the Holy Bible. I pray that you are not tempted into disbelieving my testimony because of the Truth of the Word of God and because of its unchanging nature. I assure you that I speak nothing other than the Gospel of Christ in love and truth and that any understatement on my part is only a result of the suffering I have endured as well as the mistakes that I myself have made as well as my limited language with which to express the things I know. The Apostle Paul was a great man and fully convicted in the faith. He was very vigilant about the Way. This had to be. And he was rightly glorified. Just as this has to be now. I have only told you the truth that comes from my heart. Still, I do not expect any of you to believe in my testimony until God has proven it as what He desires. “They have seen false visions and lying divinations. They say, ‘Declares the Lord,’ when the Lord has not sent them, and yet they expect him to fulfill their word” (Ezekiel 13:6). I am not asking you to believe now, just that you have faith and compassion and understanding. If it is His will, it will be made clear. For the Word of God is immutable and unchangeable unless God chooses to make it so. God’s heart is loving and eternally unchanging but it is evident in the Bible of passages that suggest God changes His mind on a temporal level: "So the Lord changed His mind about the harm which He said He would do to His people." (Exodus 32:14). In cases of sin and repentance, God can change His mind. We see this in the Garden of Eden as well as with the Christ. With human free will and as God learns about us by our decisions, God can change His mind. Other areas of the Scripture are sufficient but not entirely clear. I speak only what has been instructed me from God. I believe it because I have faith. What is the purpose of a prophet? It was either to defend, to call for a return or the application of a new, word of God. Just have faith. I admit that others could have done the job better than me. But I have run from Him far too many times in my life because of the weight on my heart and only want so much to do the will of God now. Keep faith. The Book of Remembrance has been written: “Those who feared the LORD talked with each other, and the LORD listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the LORD and honored his name. ‘On the day when I act,’ says the LORD Almighty, ‘they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not” (Malachi 3:16-18). The Book of Life is written. To them who believe in my testimony and what I have said has happened to me in my life, will have the Book of Life opened to them. My life has been one of sorrow and pain. All I needed and want now is for people to acknowledge and to respect what I know for a fact I have gone through. Have faith and keep patience. I am just a human being like all of you. This letter, I admit, may be a little difficult for you to understand now. I apologize for this. I am explaining what I know in the only way I know how. If it is God’s will, things will be made increasingly clear. Until God created it, it didn’t exist. Think about that.

Jesus, how blessed I am. What a blessing it will be to serve the world. I am thankful that all children will be blessed and safe after this. No more work in the shadows, folk. The shadows shall be illumined like never before. The Illumination of Conscience will come like a fire, like a cutting flame. I have a feeling because of the fact that I have come late, its power will not be felt to the same degree. However, I do believe there is a way to ensure that it is felt with an equal amount of power. Just in a different way. It will be glorious. This will be the greatest grace since the Cross and the Resurrection. Imagine it. Yes, it may sting momentarily. For the great majority, this will be the glowing catalyst of a new revival of hearts. It will be as a renaissance of glory. It will be a literal period of time on earth where heaven has descended as nearly as possible, without conjoining and intertwining their existences. The reign of darkness, ersatz as it is, will be quelled enormously. The good, the righteous and the vulnerable and the little and the child and the widow and the orphan and the disabled and the injured and the sad and the grieving shall have their comfort and protection. Oh, name of God! Dear friends, can you not feel the emotion in my heart when I am writing to you? Allow the words I write, the tempo at which I type and the choice of my words to guide your adorable imaginations into a portrayal of my body language as I write this. I have seen it! It is the reason I can describe it as such. I have seen heaven. And I have seen earth. And I can easily, easily, easily say that this earth was intended to be heaven for us. God has never forgotten this. Dear friends! Rejoice in the fact that this reality in which we live can be so glorious. Words fail me dear friends. My heart is floating from my chest as I picture the life there. The point of this? It can be a reality here as well. Dear friends! Let us enthrone Christ. Let us enthrone Him as King over this world. Over this system. God, name of God! He deserves it. Doesn't He? To you. Does He deserve it? The only way we can begin to enthrone Christ as king over this world is by enthroning Him within our hearts. This is where it begins. Or is it? Perhaps we need a hand. Deus ex machina. God from the machine. God will help our ailing, crying and wounded and sad world. Do you believe that He desires to help it? Hold on to this faith. Name of God. Do not have faith in me. No! You believe in your God. Because He and only He is the one who can create a change so glorious. The world has never seen. No eye has seen. No ear, heard. It can happen. It can happen here. Name of God, I cannot be the only one who believes it. I am not eager to give up on this world yet. Why? Why is this Era of Peace so important? It is important because it will offer a glimpse of what is ahead in the Kingdom of God. This will be triggered by the Illumination of Conscience. The Era of Peace will create an atmosphere in which the fruits of the Illumination of Conscience can take root. This period will permit God's children, everywhere, from every tribe, nation and tongue, every color and creed, to make the choice between good and evil. This Illumination of Conscience will clarify people's hearts. It will make known to them how they stand before God. Were they to die today, this day, some of them may be shocked at what they will discover. It will be a cleansing. A preemptive cleansing of the heart of mankind. I can think of no greater gift short of Kingdom come!

Litany of Tranquility

Lord have mercy,

Christ have mercy, 

Lord have mercy,

God the Father, have mercy, 

God the Son, have mercy, 

God the Holy Ghost, have mercy,

Holy Trinity, one God, have mercy.

O Lord, grant

That we would learn to sit with our emotions,

That we would seek the origins and root of every emotion and impulse,

That we would learn to parent ourselves,

That we would feel safe to begin our healing journey,

That we would learn to process our anger in healthy ways,

That we would learn from regrets,

That we would learn to communicate our feelings,

That we would release every bitterness into the tranquil embrace of forgiveness,

That we would harbor no resentment,

That we would accept and express true joy,

That we would seek to heal our inner child,

Consoler of hearts, pray for us,

Peace of spirit, pray for us,

Emotional tranquility, pray for us,

Unfailing forgiveness, pray for us,

Compassionate hope, pray for us,

Enlightening grace, pray for us,

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, spare us, O Lord.

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, graciously hear us, O Lord,

Lamb of God, who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Oremus,

O God, in the turmoil of our repressed emotions, be our guide toward everlasting tranquility, patience and peace. Help us to process these hidden emotions and deliver us from the temptations and discord, which arise from these hidden wounds. Be our light and our hope in the healing of our wounded inner children.