A Glimpse in Faith

I     could see the future from when I was a small child. Two futures. Contrasting. Like images on contrary pages of a storybook. It’s like the lights and sounds of the future city were etched into the eyelids of my soul, my youth. I remember reading one of the prophets, who say that prophets who prophecy prosperity are not true. That there will be need to be skeptical of these prophets more than even those who predict God’s wrath. Something to this effect. My brain racked around this. I suppose we all grow up and are raised with our own unique imprint, with our own understanding of ourselves and of the world. Perhaps this was also the case when the prophet who wrote this conjectured. Surely, there was a place for God’s wrath in the past. Particularly before Jesus came. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that His justice has come to an end. But surely, God does not only desire bad times and predict evil for us. Does He? This feels weird for me to say because if anyone should have a pessimistic outlook for the future, surely it would be me considering simply what I have endured. If anyone had a reason to be cynical about life and God and society, it would be me. Yet, how is it that I – and I’ve got to admit, at times it feels like I am completely alone in this belief – want so desperately to believe that God can fix everything. The climate. The nation state. The Church. The beauty. The true. The family. The child. The parent. The heart. The very heart. Name of God. For me, I cannot fathom how God could not give His children a chance to repent before calling upon judgement. I have been given a hard but great grace of seeing other people through the eyes, which God sees them with. Through these eyes, I see a wounded people, who are as wounded and lost as I once was, looking and searching under every stone and straw for the place from which to drink this life giving water. I see this people who have lay aside God for their money, for their technology, for their lusts and passions. When I think of myself, I see my heart. But I cannot think of a future far beyond the moment in which I am living. However, when I think of the world, the future of true society, my imagination goes wild. First, I see a true rejoicing. I see a massive jubilation and prayerful wonder that could only really arise from the fact that God Himself has made Himself known. I see everything restored. Restored to what? Restored to the way the world was intended to be. When God first created her. A world where people walk in the light. A world where the presence of God is known, revered and loved. A world in which the human life is cherished, nurtured and cared for. People are misunderstanding the effect that truth will have. When the truth about this comes out, a lot will be revealed to you.

Healing is coming. It will take many forms. Physical. Though, I do not have confirmation of this, I believe a lot of illness will be healed. If not instantly, the encouragement and validation of faith that is coming will certainly set those on a path toward healing whose ailment is a matter of foundation. I feel like there will be an undoing of people’s emotional wounds. I feel like collected and repressed trauma of millions, in the blink of an eye, will be healed. As if only by the touch of God. Yes, my friends. Perhaps the greatest healing that will come will arise from the awareness of our state of being, our state of grace before God. What a marvelous grace it will be. It will be difficult for some, no doubt. For when we realize how our actions, behavior and speech have affected others, what other reaction could there be except shock? When people realize their sin, there will be a restoration simply in this. Even for Christians. Don’t you realize? Many of the identity politics of today and even economic politic are based inherently in bitterness, envy and pride. How will the abasement of self, influence the world to see the other as not an enemy? How will this enlightenment encourage the world to see the identity and soul of their neighbor? How will it inspire the world to view those who are truly wounded and weak? Yes, my friends. Healing is coming. When we begin again to see life as less of a competition, less through the rose-colored glasses that have been placed across our field of vision by the media, by the movies, by our bitterness, the more we will seek to see our brother with eyes of love. These glasses removed, we will again see clearly. We will not only see. We will see the truth.

While it is not forefront on my mind, I truly believe that there will be a sincere and honest period of peace and unity among the nations. Let us not mince words, the purpose of a leader is and has always been to place the needs and welfare of the people under their patronage first. A time is coming, where power will fill the hands of leaders who care steadfastly about their people. Western Civilization, including the true merits of freedom and economy will be restored, healed and glorified. Even the wounds, which the West has attained, including their sins, will be patched over with dressing and atoned for. Again, to return to the thought that when the abasement comes, people will not be so quick to judge and condemn one another. Individually and collectively. Where does all of this political and economic restoration come from? Where is its source? The answer is simple. It is from its rooting and foundation in love. When God comes first, morality follows closely behind. There will be no more lies. No more deceit or powerful taking advantage of the small. Either in their innocence, their trusting or their loving. Again, the child will be exalted in this new world. Christian leadership is not like leadership of the world. It’s not like running a country. It’s not built upon a framework of authority and fear. It’s not a dictatorship. Because to be a leader, by Christ’s standards means to love, it means to serve. Sometimes, Christian leadership means putting ourselves last so that the flock can have what is right.

By the entire grace of God, every effect of this deceit will restore and return to the way it once was, under more prosperous times. All forms of trafficking will cease. All that happens in the darkness, overwhelming light will be shed upon. The mentally ill and homeless will be given salvation (if they desire it), blessing and healing. For we will discover, in a single instant the root cause and reason for the advent of such enormous rates of poverty and homelessness. That root cause will be touched as if by the finger of God. Of course, all of the positive effects that are coming have to be accepted. Should a soul not desire this mercy and healing, God cannot force you to accept it. This is the reason we should all be praying. I appeal to you all to start praying. To ready your hearts for this! People will know truth and will not tolerate violence, lying and rioting anymore. This will arise from an immediate change and healing to the world’s self-worth. When healing comes, even Christians will know that to idly lay back and allow wolves to tear them apart, over the course of ten years may not be rooted in love for the self. What else? Oh, yes! Corporations and particularly justice will cleanse. Prisons and psych wards will heal and restore and be once again used for their original intent. Race relations will heal and restore. This again, will be based on the tenet that we are all sinners, would we desire to see it. My dear friend, Martin Luther King Jr’s words will become a reality that people will not be judged by their skin color but instead by the integrity and the quality of their character. I know that he longs for it. Still. There will be justice. But it will be bearable. For God desires it to be so. Indeed, every way that darkness has advanced over these past decades will be reset. Families will heal and reconcile. For at the cause of the division and hurts are wounds that are incredibly sensitive, which I firmly believe will be dressed and nurtured completely and instantly at the restoration. At the root of this restoration and healing of the family, will be the miracle of the touch of love. For again, when people see each other and interact with each other lovingly, with care and the utmost of attention, all bitterness and hatred will be evaporated. This bitterness, this hatred, the crown of the evil one, who exists to sow discord and rejoices in the discord and misery of families, by the grace of God and if He wills, will be healed almost instantaneously. When the children of the world realize that the parents have hurt and fought the same battles as they do now. When the parents realize that the children are living and breathing creatures, who hurt, feel and have their own destinies. When they realize that they are entirely in this battle together, peace will come. Not only peace. Peace abundant. Peace personified. Personified by love and joy and hope and tenderness and forgiveness and mercy. What a beautiful existence that day will be for the family! Selfishly, I also prophesy that the Jays will beat the Brewers in the WS, baseball fan as I am. And of course, who can predict the outcome of a sports match? I can’t. I only desire this to be the case. And it cannot hurt to offer encouragement and charisma to the players. Besides, they deserve it. It’s been a while! In the next seven or eight years, the Jays will win!

There is little doubt that the climate of the world is changing. I remember even when I was a child, the trees and wildlife being extremely more abundant. Maybe it was only through the eyes of a child, and were I to return, I would see the things through different eyes. I remember being pushed along in my stroller, when very young and in Florida, seeing the incredibly animus insect world on the ground below me. This is proof of nothing. However, what I also remember was the extremely lush vegetation state over. Had there been consistent hurricanes since, which pummeled the state and over just thirty years reduced the nature? No, it has certainly changed. Climate change is real. However, it is its cause, which is uncertain. It is easy to see the reason why a lot of people want to believe that we as inhabitants of this world could have such an impact on global climate. To think anything else would be to acknowledge the truth that sin exists and has real consequences. Can you not see? The cause of the climate change the world is experiencing is human sin. It is God’s response to it. I cannot remember where it was in the Bible. The last time I read the Bible through, I came across a number of verses stating how the lands surrounding modern day Sahara (Egypt particularly) were extremely lush. Name of God, had I saved the verses location! I will search for it. This is an update. I found one of them in the Book of Exodus. Ex 10:15: “They covered the ground until it was black with them; they ate everything that the hail had left, including all the fruit on the trees. Not a green thing was left on any tree or plant in all the land of Egypt.” Of course, this passage speaks of the locusts, which were a plague sent by God due to the pride of the Pharaoh in persisting to persecute the chosen people of God. Can you not see? God has control of the climate. He wants to make the world lush and vibrant again. And His mercy is great. With people’s ability to repent, great changes will come. With the restoration, I pray this repentance, worldwide will come. I don’t have reason to believe this would not be the case. I simply know that it is essential to it. While it would be encouraged that the world would rejoice, it is not necessary. This truth will come, one way or the other. People can try their hardest to prevent it. It might be like fighting against the goad.

As for the Church, His beloved Bride, I predict that a restoration is coming. I can really only pray the exact same for His Church as I prayed for the world. For the Church is like a rudder, it’s like the captain of the ship that is the world. For what happens in the Church will lead and direct the world. Does this say something about the state of the Church? I didn’t say anything. It speaks for itself. What I can say is that there will be a unity in Christ unlike anything that has been seen for millennia. And only on a grander, grander scale. Mary and the saints will be glorified. Jehanne, my beloved Jehanne will be glorified and filled with joy! The Latin Mass, Traditional Catholicism will be glorified. Graces for those in purgatory will flourish and fall in abundance as of rain in the jungle atop this transitory spiritual existence. I must admit that at a time, I truly believed in my heart that those who had been condemned to hell would receive a second chance. Who am I to even suggest this? I have learned that the concept is deemed a heresy by the Church. Allow me to explain my reasons for desiring to believe this in the past. For while, I believe that there are certain reasons for people to go to hell, I believe that while it is often just, it is not God’s choice that those be sent there. Rather, it is a choice of the individual and the individual alone. I have always struggled with the belief that one who had commit suicide would be condemned to hell. Especially after hearing a Robin William’s voice from this plane when I was a child. I don’t know whether these souls will go to hell when they die. All I know is that the spiritual disposition of the soul following making of a choice of that sort, sets one up for despair. This despair, unless one is firmly grounded in love, can be the catalyst for a soul to not choose God. Really, what are the chances that these souls are grounded in love if they are making choices like these? This is a reason for the restoration. Again, I don’t know about the souls in hell. What I do know is that when this restoration comes, a spiritual reinvigoration and rejuvenation will occur. Why wouldn’t God desire to save such as these? These who, with new insight about the triumph and victory of the Cross, which will come, may desire a different outcome than the one they chose through this despair. The same Holy Ghost that will restore people to physical health will be the Holy Ghost that will by His grace, reach into the darkest places and illumine EVERYTHING! I don’t know. I am not arrogant enough to discount it. Neither am I foolish enough to preach the extremely real possibility that God will give another chance to even those who made poor choices based on a lack of information, shall we call it.

I imagine a world in which children, people who are with disabilities, emotional and physical, wounded people, elderly will be revered and honored with a dignity that is pure. Because, honestly, is this not the badge, the ultimate token of the health of a society? In how it treats its vulnerable, its smallest, its weakest? Let us remember the vast complexity, indeed resilience of childhood. Though they are resilient, they are vulnerable as well. What is done to them and around them affects them greatly. I simply want to encourage you tonight. Children are so precious. Life is so incredibly precious and beautiful. They are also incredibly vulnerable and impressionable. We need to care for them. We need give them a future, which they can laid hold of firmly and confidently, with both hands, saying, “thank you for giving me life. I exist today, because at a point in my existence, somebody (many people) decided that I was worthy of life and of the investment in my life. Just like how when you are married and have children, you yourself lose touch with that inner child, even within yourself. You are, in a moment, transformed from the child to the caregiver. From the girl, from the boy into the woman, into the man. And in this process, we lose out on the spiritual. For is it not true that the child is and possesses a deeper connection to the spiritual realm than the adult? Is this not the path intended by spiritual planes? How sorrowful the thought that generations have passed and millennia have passed, increasingly, more and more recently, the caregiver is stunted in growth, hindered in its transition from child to adult. How sorrowful that we have children raising children. This is not a sweeping statement. It might as well be. A time will come when we will have the choice to see things in love. Through eyes clouded over with compassion and filial brotherhood. The way we treat our children, our vulnerable is really the most important thing in a civilized society. No, my friends, people are not dispensable. Economy does not matter. Politics does not matter. Science and the arts matters not. If we cannot get that fundamental building block down that how we as society treat the small, the weak in our world is paramount, everything will topple. What I am advocating is a change of heart. A change in the heart of society and the world. It is more than possible. I have seen it. This is where our utopia is born. When this happens, the need and desire for a political utopia will be irrelevant. When the heart of the world is healed, there will be little need for all of that.

For the root of many of the emotional and spiritual and physical problems of today is in shame. Actually, shame is like a tent, a synthesis of repressed emotions. For when we as children, or even as adults experience a trauma, something horrible, which we cannot process – something, which we find too terrible to process in the moment it is happening – we can fragmentize this experience. We put it away in a partition of the mind, somewhere where it will not cause us harm. To be blunt, we simply repress the fact that it is happening. Along with this, we repress all emotions connected to the event. Hence, the experience did not not occur. It is simply our reaction to that event that we forget. Still, the impact, emotional and spiritual still have an effect on us. We can be led like slaves of our own emotions, even while led by Christ, because of these unprocessed emotions. These emotions, undealt with can have an effect upon our behavior, our attitude, our very actions. For while, if we have experienced something, which makes us angry, which we have not been permitted to feel, even if we do not remember it, the anger is still there. We are forced to vent this anger subconsciously as opposed to practically. This is the cause of many problems today. When the restoration comes, it will be like God Himself has chosen to dwell amongst us. God does not see people for their sins. For what they do or say. He sees people for what they can be. He sees us for our potential.

This doesn’t take the pressure off of us. We still need to get right with Him. This is the problem. A wounded heart. Do you think that I am special in the sense that I was raised for destruction? I wish it were the case. Yes, I am unique in how early these plans were enacted for me. In that there were even ceremonies, ridiculous as they were. No, my friends. I weep when I think that there are generations upon generations whom have been the prime target of the evil one. These who do not know a better way. Church, do you think God despises the world? No! In fact, these are all His flock. These are all His sons and daughters. Do you not think He cares what happens in their future? He wants them to return to Him. These poor people, even if they have not experienced the level of trauma and spiritual propaganda I was indoctrinated with, are lost. They are sought after by the evil one, roaring around like a lion. Influenced by the false promises of pleasure, comfort, lied to by some of the media, by the movies, by the music they listen to. Tempted by the allure of sin. Yes, these are sinful, they have sinned. And yes, most of them endure trauma and suffering based conscience manipulation as well. Nobody is immune. They do not know any better. Church. Can you not see? These poor people, these children of God, these prodigal children are so lost, so despairing. Never stop evangelizing! Until the last day. We do not know who we may save in the process. Is my spirit valuable? I do not know. Do you know where I was? In this world, do you know what was in my future? This shows one thing. Redemption is never out of the picture. God desires even the worst man or woman you can possibly imagine. God desires these hearts even more than the hearts He already has. The wolves of the world are seeking these. One by one they are falling. Without ever knowing the true nature of God and His Son, our Lord. All they hear is a twisted and vile diatribe about Him and His nature from a media, which seeks not their good. These diatribe are perpetuated by people who cling onto their empty ideas and retold with ever more bitterness. This is how atheism spreads. Certainly, there are weeds amongst them. Will you allow this to prevent you from reaching out to a true lost child of the Kingdom? I have seen personally how trauma and unprocessed suffering can twist our consciences, can root and build resentment. Even in Christ, this can happen. We need process our emotions! I can guarantee that half of the people who consider themselves atheist have tender hearts, if shown the nature of God, the nature of truth and the nature of love, would fall to their knees in repentance and awe of God. I have said before that I personally prophesy that a lot of these, the hardest of hearts now, the sinners amongst us, will be God’s greatest of saints in the coming days. These do not know better. Yes, of course there are evil people in the world. There are those who in their hard heartedness, are firm and steadfast in this hate. These are the ones who act in darkness. But we need have faith that God will deal with them. Let us also have faith that very soon a day is coming when the true intention of the heart of the man will be bare as a peeled kiwi. There will no longer be a wonder about the true nature of people. Let us also have faith that our desire to evangelize and save these sinners who are lost, will be enormously rewarded. I pray for these every single day. I pray for these, I live for these. If you do not think that these deserve a second chance at repentance, I wonder about the state of your heart. Of course, this is not a call, Christian, for us to conform to the world or to love the things of the world. I think I have made it pretty clear that I feel that the true Christian Way is quite set apart from the world. We need to help these poor people. These poor souls who are stranded and shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean. These sorrowful souls who are drowning in the sea and clutching, reaching upward, grasping at anything. They can see you as they take their last and final breath. Will you help them?

I am thankful for atheists. Used to be one myself. I didn’t know any better. Thankful for them only because a lot of them are going to be the future generation of saints. Please do not take offence at this examination that follows. I simply desire to show you the truth. What’s the reason for your atheism? Let’s analyze. You could believe in science. Please do not forget that even a belief in science is an expression of faith in the unknown. There is absolutely zero concrete examples of evidence for evolution and big bang theory. Ultimately, these occurrences happened so long ago that it would be impossible to say with certainty that they happened. Science is ultimately the search for truth. What is truth? God is truth. Science actually proves word for word, the Bible! Should you desire to see this. You could be wounded. I was in exactly this position. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say I was the most wounded of all. I have gone through every single argument in my head. How could God allow children to starve in Africa? How could a good God allow bad people to flourish and good people to hurt? How could God allow war? The answer to each question is contained in the words: this is not the way God intended it to be. Then, you ask, why doesn’t God intervene? He did. He did the most beautiful thing anyone could imagine. He did what He was able to do. He offered His own Son as a payment for us to be free. Telling you, once you experience the love of Jesus and the peace this offers, every wound is a thing of the past. You could be angry. Take it from me. While God does not take away your anger and other emotions because He respects them, He redirects them, funneling them toward love and charity. Open your heart. I was the hardest heart in the world. There is no wound, no pain, no fear He cannot address. There is no tear He does not wipe away. I praise my God for picking me up from the self-centeredness of atheism and giving me the hug of hope. Don’t you realize how much God loves even the lot of you? He sees fully how your hardness of heart was formed. He wants to heal you. He wants you to be free. He wants to offer you justice. You’re the reason He sent me. I should mention that some of these ideas, which contradict atheism are not entirely my own. They have been integrated into my mind and expressed through my own words. You could also feel despaired and far too gone in your sin. Is this any of you? Let your dear and precious hearts be at peace. If you should desire it, God also desires to wash that sin away in the water and blood, which pour from His pierced heart. You know, God showed me something extremely valuable in my conversion experience. I saw lights, I spoke an unknown language at the time, I felt an overwhelmingly beautiful current of love pass like electricity through my veins that day. This was all beautiful. The most beautiful part of it was the revelation, which was revealed to me. God showed me this day the relation between what I had been through, the sins commit against me and the wounds that I had suffered and the things that I myself had done, the sins I myself had commit and the wounds that I had caused. God showed me how suffering, unprocessed hurts and childhood formation influence and stumble people to commit sin. I haven’t been a saint in my past. I have many flaws. I have hurt many people. God sees beyond this. God sees me for who I have the potential to be. Because God loves me with a love that we cannot comprehend. An otherworldly love. If this is you, if you feel you are too far gone for God to love, I plead with you to turn upon yourselves with compassion and mercy. Forgive yourself! God does! God wants you to be free. And He is offering this freedom to you today. Today! This minute! This second! All you have to do is reach out. Open your hand. Extend your fingers and gaze. Open your heart and let it all out! God saves you today. Name of God. Upon you be healing and mercy and forgiveness. God loves you. Even more when you are distant from Him!

I sought out to investigate how to repair my Roman Missal today. I really did not want to get a new one. This one is special to me. I have been caring for it but it is quite old, I imagine. I watched a video about book repairs and it was evident to me in this video just how much we as a world have learned together. In passing this information onto the next generation. I, personally, had no idea how to fix this Missal of mine. When I saw this video, it became apparent to me just how much love and care went into the process. When we preserve the past, tradition, we are not only preserving old rules and obscure ideas. We are preserving the love, the lives and the beautiful ideas of our forefathers, those who came before us, who invested their purpose into these crafts, these trades, these ideas. I am thankful for these ideas and trades, things, which were learned by the application of love and of attention. It is not only in religion. This is a ubiquitous concept! Architecture done without love does not measure up. Medicine done without love doesn’t heal. Science without love at its center is not true. Can you not see? Love is the answer! Love is returning! Do you feel it? One would think, with all of this technology, with all of the modern graces which our world has been given, it would be an easier thing to attain. In fact, we are farther from each other than ever. Even living within cities, stacked one upon the other, we are miles apart emotionally and spiritually. In the time I spent at the religious community, I learned how to do everything in love. Every little act we do, done in love. How do we achieve this? It’s in our foundations. We need to return. Love is returning! Do you feel it? It’s going to burn away the chaffe! Love is returning! Do you feel it? Oh yes, it will burn. It will burn. Our world, in one moment will realize, will recognize that we are all connected. Do you feel it? Our world is going to be healed. Our world is going to be touched by the finger of God. Not a soul would dare say in that day that His presence is not completely amongst us. God will wipe every tear away. God will show us again how to love. But not before He shows us the reason we have lost that love in the first place. When this happens, the path to healing will be given. In time, we’ll be dancing in the streets all night!

I also know that we are living in a particularly wounded generation. Not just in terms of sin. We have all been through a lot. With wounds that need healing with the most tender of touches. It requires literally a hero to be called to sacrifice this for their flock. It has most certainly been done. The answer is in love. When we discover Christ’s love, this physical love doesn’t mean as much. On the contrary, if we don’t know physical love, how can we know God’s love? Here, I speak from experience. Parental love reminds us that we are safe, grounded and nurtured. Too often this day, is that love deprived of children. But I look at brothers and sisters at the religious community I stayed at. I look at the pastor of my church. They have obviously clung on to the secret. The way, so to speak. It is evident in the very movement of their arms, the way they form their words. I long for this. I long for this. Even over the physical intimacy that the world offers. Still, I like so many others, am wounded in this exceptionally sacred place. I would easily say that I am the most wounded this world has ever seen in this area. Not to brag or to merit a medal. On the contrary, to show you why I struggle. With this sacred wound, there are in fact many remedies. At the head, Christ. The second most important is play. Our world has become incredibly uptight. Our reactions are hypervigilant and overly sensitive. We react from ourselves, within and from without from a deep place of hurt. Our world needs to relearn what it is to be children. With ourselves and with each other. This can take many forms. The most important form is caring for and nurturing the wounds of others in the way that the wound has been caused. Sounds obscure? Don’t worry. It will be clear soon enough.

I suppose I am urodivoi. Still, I am ashamed thinking of the choice I made regarding the beautiful woman I haven’t gotten to spend the past two years with. I am thankful for Jesus. He loves you all with an infinite love. Jesus is the reason. You are not your sins. You are more than that. You are good people who have been hurting too long. Jesus sees beyond your sins. Soon, God will dwell amongst you. As in the Tabernacle. God will be your God and you will be His people. God is watching your each and every move with the tenderest of love and care. This is a reason not to sin. This is a reason to know that God’s justice is very real. It is also reason to rejoice. God is in love with you so much. Trust Him!

Thankful for who God says I am. Thankful for the fact that truth will be a stir up. Thankful for the good times that are coming. Thankful for God who is going to make it happen. Thankful for the fact that after the difficult times, always comes good times. Nurture your precious faiths. God wants the world, particularly His little flock who remain worshipping Him, loyal to Him, to know this: God will wipe away every tear. God sees you. Your prayer, your hard work is paying off. Very soon, you will be rewarded, little ones of the true God. Very soon. A little while longer, He says to you. Hold on, a little while longer. God’s love is immoveable. Nothing can shed this love. Strengthen your resolve in this love. Around us, surrounding us, the world, the harvest, nothing matters. Stand firm in the love of your Father. You are His children. God is coming soon. Very soon. World, things are going to be better for you soon. Very soon.

I don’t feel called to big things. I just want to be free to tell my story and use the voice God gave me. Nobody has told me to be quiet. I feel very weak and small. Still, I cannot stop talking. The SDs I have spoken to about this just say something about the fact that when they see my life they see the life of St Benedict Joseph Labre. I don’t know what it means! Again, I wonder at what it means that people are trying to censor me as though my words are important. The true revelation – or rather, revolution – will arise from the circumstances surrounding the truth emerging. Again, it has not to do with my message. I could be silent and truth would still come. I simply want to prepare you. It seems unfair to deprive the world of something this good because of me. Because of my sin. What might be the motivation for resistance to this message? Let us ask ourselves, sincerely and honestly, why might someone choose not to want the content of this revelation to be manifest in the world? Private revelation, though it is. For now at least.

The point of this? When we discover that we have been lied to, targeted and sought after for destruction, what will be the soul’s first response? Will it be one of passivity and docility, simply allowing the current of abuse to continue? Or will it be one of righteous indignation? Will it be a voice that says ‘you cannot do this to me. I am alive! And I will not put up with this. Because I deserve to live. I deserve better!’ I hope to inspire this voice of righteous indignation with you, Christian, secular man and woman. So that you will see that while there are certainly forces that roam about seeking your harm, there is a God, a true, living and breathing God who cares for you, desires your health and wellness, who desires nothing but your happiness and love. You don’t have to support these wolves who seek to devour you. You have a right to exist. Ordained by God Himself. For it was He who crafted you and formed you in your mother’s womb for abundance of life.

People are not disposable

 

I have tried very hard, actually for a long time, making it a priority, to keep my politics away from my message. For the longest time, whenever someone would ask me my opinion on the subject, I would simply turn my face and be silent. This is not because I am ashamed. On the contrary, I simply feel that God is bigger than politics. I feel that at the end of the day, the only thing that is going to create change in the world, is God. Positive change. Still, because God works through politics, politics is very important. Really, God should be the end and aim for everything we do in this world. God should be the reason we investigate atoms and search the depths of the seas and the expanses of the cosmos. Really, is this not what science was created for? To discover the truth of things? Truth is interlinked with God. Politics should seek to serve Him.

I’ve tried a lot to censor my politics from my message. I guess I cannot blame people for being curious for trying to find out all of what happens in my privacy. I will simply say this. I never intended for my politics to become known. I am not ashamed. How can I possibly be ashamed? I simply knew that God was greater than politics. Thankful for the fact that politics is not going to be what brings ultimate change to the world. I am thankful for the revival that is surely coming. While the Kingdom of Heaven is not here. Heaven is not here. Let what happens here, be the way Heaven intended it to be. Believe it or not, I am still not making a political statement. All I am doing is advocating for God. Again, how could anyone who is perfectly lawful (now) apologize for what people see in their privacy? I have not consented to this. God is greater than politics. People sure are getting touchy with me for telling my story. Remember, the integrity of truth or an idea is not dependent upon the reputation of one person. Even its leaders. Don’t get so mesmerized with my politics that you forget my actual message. Children need love, that trauma accumulates and we need to process that pain, fill the void with positivity of Gospel Truth, that we need to build for ourselves a firm foundation upon the love of Christ. For those who remember, my ministry was not always a consistent apology for my past or a defence of my beliefs. Before people found out about my politics, I traveled the streets of Toronto, preaching positivity, gratitude, healing and peace for those who were hurting. I preached the impact of trauma on people. And Christ’s ability to heal that.

We are called to love and to minister to the poorest of our brothers and sisters, for blessed are the poor in spirit. And who among us is poorest of all? Money will come and go. The Book of Leviticus tells us not to favor the rich nor to show partiality to the poor. What makes a man poor in spirit? Why are we to help the widow and the orphan? Throughout the pages of the Hebrew Tannakh and culminating in the revelation of the Father's Son to the world, it is clear that God's compassion and mercy is strong, particularly with they who suffer. With they who grieve. With they who mourn. In a sense, it is precisely due to this that His mercy and love extends to us all. In life, wounds, traumas will certainly come. It's true for all of us. A foundation of love is essential in life. For God, God Himself teaches us how to love. Children need, crave and merit the most absolute of love with which we are able to offer them. Love is not completely lucid or permissive. Love without boundaries, without stern but kind discipline is not love at all, but rather submission. And submission is not true love. This love, these foundational building blocks, built upon the wisdom that without love for the self, we will struggle always loving the other, give us the tools with which to navigate and thrive in this world. Trauma and unprocessed suffering accumulate in our hearts when we do not have the capacity to experience our pain in the midst of these traumas. Have you ever experienced being a child, enduring some pain, feeling the need to cry? So, because you are a child, uninhibited by the weights and judgement of the world, you allow yourself to cry and almost by the finger of God, you are released from that pain. For this reason, God extends His love and mercy to every single person in this world, to those who have died and to those who will come. We need to heal our beautiful inner children. This is where the wound and the healing lies. We need to allow ourselves to experience the deep and rooting love that only our God and Father can teach us. And this through the tender and powerful blood of His Son, Jesus Christ.

I have continued living in this house is in a large way because of how I was raised. Part of me feels I don’t deserve better. Because of what people did to me. In a way, it is a blessing of a thorn. In that it keeps me humble. But this is not humility. True humility prides in the truth of who we are. I experience toxic shame because of the things that happened to me. This toxic shame was built from lies other people have told me in the ways they have treated me and hurt me. In spite, I am thankful for this house and for these guys. They are warm hearted people. These are the people for whom I have come to call to repentance. Who am I to judge people like this? People who struggle because of fear and bad foundations. Yes, they sin. Their sins are in the open. They have never been shown a better way. Greater to me is the one who when their sin is revealed to them, they fall on their knees in repentance and weeping than the one who says I have no sin. This is to say, if you think you are righteous, if you think you are sinless and perfect, you are really deaf and blind to the message of the Lord Jesus Christ. Wait for the secret sins. We all have them. Every one of our words, our actions and deeds affects people. Do you think you are aware of how every action and word you have ever made has affected people? Not what I am talking about. I am speaking of what happens when we are most at ease. When our guard is down. This is the space darkness fills. With the people we are most comfortable with. Sometimes we are not even conscious of our sins. If we read the Lenten texts about anybody, we would find room to condemn them. Name of God! All sinners. Stop judging people for being harder than you. We don’t know their stories. Sure, we can judge people for living sinful lives. But if they don’t know any better, who can blame them? Actually, who is to blame for this? Sorry if I seem sharp in my words. Maybe it’s truly not your fault. All I am saying is people are people. Why would we seek to love only our friends? No reward in that. Let’s love our enemies too. Yes. As I am learning to. I was not baptized until 2007 and confirmed until 2016. I did not know. I was one of these hardened hearts. I pray that God has changed me and if not, to change me quickly. I am and always have been traumatized. Not evil. I’m not even talking about loving our enemies, am I? What I am talking about is loving the wounded, the orphan, the widow? Is this not found in the alcoholic? Is this not found in the teenager who gets involved in drugs and gangs? Is this not found, even in the hardened criminal who repents and turns to God with all of his heart? All looking for love, reacting to their own pains and re-enacting what they were taught. A love nowhere to be found. Nowhere to be found. What would happen if the faithful were to help these, the true orphan, the true widow by sharing with them the love they so desperately need? This is where the key to your revival is going to be. It’s where the final piece of the puzzle is located. For your world to have peace. It’s contained in love. We cannot love while we are eager to condemn. I have said before prisons are not the answer. They only satiate a desire and a thirst for vengeance. You may call it justice. It’s not. For who can truly say, ‘I don’t deserve to be in the exact same place’. Love. Love is the source of regeneration that you seek. Love, like everything else, begins with ourselves. If we don’t or cannot love ourselves, we cannot know how to love others. This is the future of medicine. This is the future of schooling. This is the future of politics. But we have to relearn to love. I address also the Church. Let us recapture the essence of the words, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ Do you know who said this? These are the poor in spirit the Gospel speaks of. What is money? The poorest materially among us can be the richest spiritually. Contrarily, the richest among us materially can be the poorest spiritually. It is a very dangerous thing to make the Gospel a material thing. For after all, money is not evil. It’s the love of money that is evil. God does not want us to be poor. He desires our prosperity so that we can glorify Him. Or rather so that He can be glorified through our blessings, which are evidence to the world of His goodness. Suffering, while useful to God (also useful for His glory) is not the natural state of the world. Don’t believe when people tell you that God wants you to suffer. God’s intentions for the world and for people are always for their good and well-being. The Gospel is ultimately about hearts. Yes, as my friend MLK Jr. said, ‘What is the purpose of the gospel speaking to a man’s heart if it neglects his physical needs?’ But a gospel that is oriented entirely toward a man’s physical needs, which has become evident in many places, or places these needs over the spiritual, becomes void. Jesus said, “Blessed are the poor in spirit.” Yes, the reason the poor materially are blessed is because they do not have the distraction of wealth. Just because one is poor, does not make one holy. The fact that one is wealthy does not make them evil. I have heard of many wealthy people who do enormous acts of charity almost consistently.

My past does not have anything to do with my present politics. I am not racist. I was angry at what my abusers were doing to me. Besides, politics are not race. If politics are not open to criticism, what is? What is your motivation for not believing that I have changed in my heart? Maybe it’s a matter of politics. Where is your worship? There is so little faith in God’s ability to change the world. I’m not telling anyone who to vote for. I’m certainly not telling people what to think. We have to do that for ourselves.

Thankful for the fact that I am permitted to have an opinion. As is everyone else. Let us not forget Remembrance Day. Our fathers and grandfathers fought, war over war for freedom. Freedom reign. Be on guard. We do not want to hand it away like it were disposable. Yes, I am a terrible sinner. I will be the first to admit this. That I feel I am inculpable is inconsequential. The fact is that my sin has had an effect upon others. I am no worse a sinner than anyone else. But I acknowledge my sin. Still, as Paul says in his epistles of himself, my conscience is clear. I am no longer dead in my sin. This is because of who I am now. Who I am now is my testimony. Please remember, my dear friends, whoever is listening, God loves you. God respects our freedom. God respects our freedom. God has created us free. Freedom is a good thing. Yes, with freedom comes the negative grace to be able to say no to God. But to deprive people of that grace would make God a dictator. God has given us the choice, and in this respect it is not a matter of saying no to Him. It is a matter through which and by which, the only remedy for healing can possibly come about. God values our freedom just as much as He values us as creatures. Because God wants us to come to Him and only Him through our personal and intimate choosing of Him, for Him. To deny people the ability to think a certain way because a majority considers that way of thinking to be false or even hostile, is to take away that freedom instilled in man by God. Freedom is not the freedom to sin. But here, we have to define sin. Is an idea a sin? No. Even if it offends others. It is not a sin. Is murder a sin? Of course. Because we have freedom to murder is not a reason to do it. Maybe I am sheltered. I do not feel many people in our world would use their freedom to do such a thing. Again, maybe I am sheltered. When I think of freedom, I think of the freedom to do positive things. But remember, just because we feel something offends us or we feel something is a sin, does not mean that it is a sin. The concepts of morality are being dreadfully twisted. The Commandments are a good place to begin. But, in terms of stuff like oppression, we never quite know the full story. We never quite receive the full story. We have to be incredibly careful in making judgements about societal oppression. Just because you have a loud voice, does not mean your oppression is graver than someone who does not complain. More than this, please, remember that people are so much more than simply their politics. To write someone off because of their politics is like poisoning the well. It’s like saying, ‘what he says means nothing because he is racist.’ Or ‘don’t listen to anything he says, he is crazy’. Sounds familiar. To write off someone’s argument by drawing attention to their personhood is the epitome of fallacy. It’s like saying, he is smelly so he should not have an opinion on politics. Name of God. The fact that I have a different opinion from you is not a sin. My politics are not sin. Half the population holds these beliefs. I am only a very, very disabled and traumatized blogger, sharing his opinion. I am not causing division by having a differing opinion from you. What does my conversion look like to you?

Thankful for the fact that if you are upset with me for criticising communism, you are actually upset with Dr. King and every single Pope in the history of the Church. We must be allowed to criticize our political systems. Let me be clear: I love the Chinese people. I think their culture is rather incredible. Everything about it is amazing. From the exquisite martial art, the tea and cuisine, to the incredible written language. It’s an ancient and beautiful culture. It is not racist to criticize a political ideology. The politics of a country have little to do with its inherent identity. China has existed millennia prior to communism. We must differentiate between the culture of a country and its politics. The only reason people want you to believe I am a sinner is because of my politics. Jesus, guys. Every single pope since Marx. I am just a simple gent, writing in what he believes to be his private computer. If you don’t like what you are reading, you know what to do. Politics is different from culture. We must be allowed to criticize our governments. This was the basis for the American Revolution. Say what you will about America. The revolution was a stand against government overreach and abuse of power. We must be permitted to have opinions about those who rule us otherwise it is bound to repeat what has happened in the past. Power corrupts. “Absolute power, corrupts, absolutely - Tennyson.” I cannot say whether or not this is the case today. All I know is that it has happened every single culture in history. Thankful that God is bigger. Communism without Christ at its center will always push away the concept of anything greater than the state and the achievable needs of society operating through the state. That’s just the thing: there is no communism with Christ at its center. At the center of Communism will always and only be the State.

The way we treat our children, our vulnerable is really the most important thing in a civilized society. No, my friends, people are not dispensable. Economy does not matter before this. Politics does not measure up. Science and the arts matters not. If we cannot get that fundamental building block down that how we as society treat the small, the weak, the wounded in our world is paramount, everything loses its meaning. What I am advocating is a change of heart. A change in the heart of society and the world. It is more than possible. I have seen it. This is where our utopia is born. When this happens, the need and desire for a political utopia will be irrelevant. When the heart of the world is healed, there will be little need for all of that. Remember this: people are not dispensable.