Catholic Social Teaching:

You may ask what right is it of mine to make comments on these teachings. I ask you what right don't I possess to make comments on these teachings? Far from a condemnation, I simply want to comment for consideration. That people may benefit from my wisdom. Look, I care greatly for my Church. Yes, in spite of how distant I walk - and equally, in spite of how distant she walks from me - I will always be a Traditional Catholic. These are only brief thoughts off the top of my head. Perhaps, Jehovah will lead me towards a deeper analysis in future. But, we need to know that the direction she has traversed is not in God. God's people are distinct from the world. Keep this in mind. But: they've a responsibility to guide and shape the world and its dealings. This is a Christian duty for the institution as well as for the individual. Read. Or don't. God Jehovah shall prove His will. Either way... 

Dignity of human person: Yes, everyone has dignity of life. Not only children. Not only women. Men, white men too. Even ones who are being cancelled because of mistakes in their past. Forgive me, I got a little bitter there. Lol. What I mean to say is that I really like this teaching.

Principle of association: YES! We should be doing more to encourage and facilitate individuals to participate more. This is where evangelization comes in. There are a lot of hurting people these days. Especially in cities who are very broken. Mark my words, the 'city' also is coming to an end.

Common good: Unity and brotherhood are ideas that seem good. It is not sustaining. When ideas clash, divisions arise. Common sense. This common good idea leads towards nwo. Do you not realize that nwo is a prophecy of end times? End times can be postponed, if we desire. Nationalism is the safest bet and a good system. In that it upholds and seeks after the well being and safety of individual populations. Yes, absolutely we must love one another, locally and globally. The best and most efficient way of doing this is by maintaining a little bit of separation.

Solidarity: A nice thought. We are all in the same life together. But, we do not all have the same goals and beliefs in life. This can place us on conflicting paths. Solidarity as a brotherhood and respect for other brothers and sisters is a pinnacle thought. But, the responsibility of the charity and upholding of that dignity lies with the individual. It's why healing of the human heart is so important. It's the reason evangelization is so important. If we care about their souls, we will teach them the truth. Healing of the world lies with healing of the individual. 

Preferential option for the poor: Leviticus tells us not to favor the rich or show special treatment to the poor. Money will come and go. It is not the mark of a man's soul. Their soul is much more important. Besides there are many other means of poverty than only materially. Communism is not Christian. 

Stewardship of Creation: Yes, we should care for our home, the planet. You lack faith if you think that Jehovah does not have the power to completely transform it back to perfection. What you mean, man? Trust in God!

Role of government: Yes.

Participation: Yes.

Rights and responsibilities: Yes.

Economic justice: Yes! This is my favorite teaching. Not that incomes need be distributed equally but that work is dignified and holy. Everyone has a right to work. This is not a criticism but a warning. With the increasing interconnectedness of our world, with the rise of AI and machines, a lot of jobs are going to be lost for the common worker. I've heard the argument that the alleviation of manual jobs (cashiers, factory, etc.) will free up the workforce to employ more important jobs. This neglects the fundamental fact that most of the workforce was employed in manual jobs.

Peace: Yes.

Everyone is equal. Yes, we are all given what we are due. equality exists morally on a level of giving everyone the same opportunity to advance as the next. It is communist and perhaps even amoral to adjust the equality levels of marginalized groups in order to give them a preferential treatment. I lament saying this but I feel a disparagement has arisen in our world today in terms of understanding who is marginalized and who is needing of help. It's evident abundantly in the fact that half of city populations are living on the streets. Those who truly need help are to put it simply, those who need help. Disabled people, wounded-es, yes, the poor. But, I remind you, poverty does not equal holiness.  

Daniel Fast!

I am thinking about it. My message has been very personal. It's time I return to the roots of my ministry. Sure, there will be people who will misunderstand me. There will be people who will not like me. But, there was a time, when my ministry consisted of this. Gratitude and faith. I'll tell you, I am so thankful for my voice. I am so thankful that I have been given this life. I don't know who reads this blog. I am sure that some people do. This is my intention. I am going to start a Daniel Fast. For those unfamiliar, the origins of the Daniel Fast come from the Biblical Book of Daniel. King Nebuchadnezzar entices the Israelites to eat food sacrificed to their gods. It is against their faith to do so. And the Hebrews tell the King to feed them vegetables only and water for ten days. Afterwards, to check the complexion of their countenance compared with the countenance of those who have eaten the food sacrificed to idols. I invite you to join me! As much as you are able! Please, before you begin this with me, make sure to consult with a doctor. My goal is to last for ten days. Like the Hebrew men from the Book of Daniel. In the past, I have done this particular fast for ninety days. During this time, I lost 100 lbs, something which I have been able to maintain. I felt so much better than I had prior. I was sleeping like a king and even walking better, talking clearer. Actually, a lot of the symptoms of my MS were eased completely after a while. To keep it simple this time, I am going to start for ten days. So, these are the rules: Only vegetables, only fruit, only water. No carbs, no sugar. I am allowing myself protein as I will be going to the gym every day of this fast. As always, I am allowing myself caffeine intake. I cannot go for too long without my green tea and coffee! I invite you to pray with me the Holy Rosary every day of this fast. I am going to be going to the gym every day of this fast. I will post a before and after picture at the end of this fast. God bless! 

What does the Resurrection mean to you?

I have a feeling that in future years, looking back, we will be able to say that a great heresy has existed here. Greater than Arianism or Jansenism. For the question we need ask is what do you believe about the resurrection of Jesus Christ? What we say about this fact defines our entire faith, our entire perception of other Christians and other people in the world. When we believe in the physical resurrection, we begin to see other Christians as more than their sin. When we believe in the physical resurrection of Christ, past sin is not condemning. Past sin does not haunt us. This is because when we were baptized, every sin committed prior to the Sacrament, is erased from the soul of this person.

“Baptism has six primary effects, which are all supernatural graces:

1. The removal of the guilt of both Original Sin (the sin imparted to all mankind by the Fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden) and personal sin (the sins that we have committed ourselves).
2. The remission of all punishment that we owe because of sin, both temporal (in this world and in Purgatory) and eternal (the punishment that we would suffer in hell).
3. The infusion of grace in the form of sanctifying grace (the life of God within us); the Seven gifts of the Holy Spirit; and the Three Theological Virtues.
4. Becoming a part of Christ.
5. Becoming a part of the Church, which is the Mystical Body of Christ on earth.
6. Enabling participation in the sacraments, the priesthood of all believers, and the growth in grace.”

Source 1

Just because someone cannot or refuses to see the fact that you are forgiven, does not mean that you are forgiven any less. Your forgiveness and justification is between you and God. Nobody, not even the Church has the grace to challenge the fact that at your baptism, at your confirmation, you were forgiven and bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Our faith in the physical resurrection has become weakened. We as Christians have allowed ourselves to believe that the blood of Christ did not cover the sins of the faithful, sending them as far as the east is to the west. We are like the pagans of old who believe that the grace of God were something we could work for. We have doubted the transformation of faithful. This is next to the fact that there are reasons for our sins, which make them more or less culpable.

For is it even possible to make the claim, with knowledge of what Christ’s mission was – of what He accomplished on the cross – that because someone has sins in their past, they do not merit the full forgiveness of Christ? Is it possible, with this knowledge, to make the claim that because of the sins of their past, God cannot make use of them now? Is a perfect life, a perfect, sinless past prerequisite for holiness? I wonder what you would have said to the Apostle Paul when He claimed Jesus spoke to him? The fact is, even if we were baptized at birth, we still have sins. Actually, especially if we were baptized at birth, we still have sins. My friends, I am not trying to scare you. But wait for the secret sins. Moses commit murder. David commit adultery. Not one of us has lived a perfect life. Only Jesus. Even with confession. Again, wait for the secret sins. What could be a greater heresy than denying faithful, righteous and repentant people access to a future in the faith because of their past sins? To do so, we should soon expect that none of us will have a future in the Church. This need for spiritual perfection and innocence is as futile as it is impossible. For what purpose is the Sacrament of Reconciliation, after all? God uses the weak, the sinful. It is precisely in this weakness and sinfulness that the transformation occurs. For to Christianity (maybe it’s not the case with worldly temporality) the transformation of heart is all that really is important. Conversions are not always evident to the eye. And there will always be people to disagree with you. But, what does one’s conversion look like? Does he dress exactly alike to you? Does he speak exactly alike to you? Here’s a pertinent, rhetorical question: Does he think exactly alike to you? Rather, does he have the same political beliefs and convictions as to you? I implore you to consider and reassess the true reasons for why these thoughts are coming. Are they rooted in envy? How about bitterness and anger? Maybe a sense of repressed justice even? One thing it is not rooted in is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Besides, if one were a sinner, surely the best way to draw him back to Christ would not be to humiliate him every time he went to confession, by broadcasting universally his confession sin matter. This is not going to help him come and find Christ. Rather, it may push one away. Surely, the best way to draw this ‘sinner’ back to Christ would not be to install hidden cameras in his bedroom. If it were for the good of the world or for the good of this one, you would not have to do all of this creepy stuff.

Jesus loves you and has given you enormous grace. Let us not deprive other faithful of their graces they have earned because of the sins of their past. Lest you forget that you too, are a sinner and frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Wait for the secret sins.

 

Sources:

https://www.learnreligions.com/the-sacrament-of-baptism-542130

Immigration:

So, I posted a post about immigration. It was a demonstration using gumballs conducted by NumbersUSA. I wrote this quite a while ago and so, I do not have access to the original sources for stats.

“You’re right. 1 % own the world’s wealth. For my knowledge, the 1% is already taxed an awful lot. I’ve got a question for you. How much do you think it costs to keep the government institutions running and functioning in America for one year? Police, busses, hospitals, civic stuff? Here’s an example: infrastructure alone, it is estimated to repair all of it by the American Society for Civil Engineers to be 3.6 trillion by 2020. That’s a lot of money spent on roads. That’s nearly a quarter of the gross value of the 1%. I agree with you that there are a lot of things that money could be used for. https://fivethirtyeight.com/.../why-we-still-cant-afford.../ .

I am pretty sure that not many people these days are against legal immigration. What I disagree with is illegal and unchecked immigration. As a matter of fact, so did our friend, Bill Clinton: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3yesvvYEvs .

With respect, I think you guys are missing the point of the video. Which is that we need to help these developing countries in their countries by stimulating growth, not by taking their best, their brightest and strongest. Like I said, it costs an awful lot to simply keep daily business up and running in one country these days. We should be working to stimulate improvement, growth and betterment in the developing world so that they can provide for their own citizens. Integration is another issue. Multiculturalism is a good thing. When cultures come to a country and do not assimilate, that is another thing. Which happens easily when there is no control over borders. It’s not hard to see what is happening in a lot of the world right now.

I think that what I am saying is very reasonable. Beware of the appeal to pathos on your psychological condition in entertainment and its ability to subconsciously persuade your values. People have been through a lot. When I think of so many people in this world all working so beautifully hard towards their own goals and ambitions, I am overpowered by joy and wonder. We are such a beautiful creation. I want to encourage you that you’re all doing such a great job of working through the hurt with happiness and strength.

Compassion and mercy are important themes. The Bible is very clear in its stance on immigration. It is very open to immigration. The passage you mentioned is a perfect example of how we are to respect foreigners and outsiders. With respect, I think we need to read everything in context. It may not be entirely responsible to read and judge the purpose of an economics textbook for a couple of pages, or a single passage. You may get an idea about what the book is about, but you’ll be missing a lot. The Bible really has a lot to say about national borders and the law. The passage you mentioned are good examples of hospitality and helping people who need it but I think it speaks to people who were invited to stay. Again, there is a difference between an immigrant and an illegal immigrant. Here’s a Biblical example: Before Joseph was reunited with his family who emigrated from Goshen, Joseph asked Pharaoh for permission to bring them. In the Bible, immigrants were treated with respect, given food and water, shelter. Though it was expected that the immigrants respect and follow the law of the land. How does someone in a place illegally respect that place’s laws? People shouldn’t be indifferent to law. Nor should we be indifferent to our responsibility to observe laws. We should be responsible to ensure that we have the resources necessary to respond to the needs of both the citizens of a country and those who are being granted sanctuary.

Numbers 15:30 “But anyone who sins defiantly, whether native-born or foreigner, blasphemes the LORD and must be cut off from the people of Israel.”

Leviticus 24:22 “You are to have the same law for the foreigner and the native-born. I am the LORD your God.”

If we want to be compassionate and merciful to immigrants these days, law-abiding foreigners who desperately want to come to this part of the world shouldn’t be pushed aside unfairly by those who break the law and push ahead of them. In any case, I think we should forgive those who enter illegally. But there is importance in their assimilation to our culture. Multiculturalism is a good thing. How can we live together multiculturally if people are not expected to assimilate?

Proverbs 23:10,11 “Do not touch the boundaries of little ones, and do not enter into the field of the fatherless. For their close relative is strong, and he will judge their case against you.”

Borders are important for so many reasons. At the top, national security and protecting its citizens. Borders are vital to the stability and order of a civil society. Mercy and the Law are connected. The church already does a lot of humanitarian work. I believe that the Church is the world’s largest charitable organization. With schools, hospitals and other institutions like homeless outreach and foodbanks. Borders are vital to the stability and order of a civil society.

"For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me. Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’ Matthew 25:35-40

Let’s do this ourselves. We can adopt. We cannot just elect politicians to do this for us. There’s an adage that goes, “Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach him to fish, you feed him for a lifetime.” It’s a sensible thought. This is why we need to empower countries in the developing world to be in a position where they can support their own citizens. We have to be able to differentiate between economic migrants and genuine refugees and asylum seekers. Let’s be loving. Let’s be loving to citizens of a country. Let’s be loving to those seeking to enter legally.

About his politics, I don't know. I don't agree with the views you have suggested he has. I'd be interested in seeing some credible reference. What I do know is that he makes a good argument here, which is why I posted this video. I offered my own opinion in response to the comment section where you posted a verse from Scripture. In that, is my context. There are many reasons not to have open borders. This video illustrates one. The way people are going to start coming up with solutions to problems is through dialogue. Not by poisoning the well or through violence.

I’ve always said multiculturalism is a good thing. Integration is key. Strength in unity not diversity. Unity brings us together. I am not against legal immigration. This is not necessarily a revelation from God. Up until a few years ago, this would have been common sense.

The poverty the Gospel speaks about remedying is a poverty in spirit. By making the Gospel to address financial inequality, you are ignoring the premise of the Gospel. A man’s soul is worth much more than his body. Yes, his physical well being needs to be taken care of. But the gospel is not about money. Being rich is not a sin. If no one has money, who could give to charity and support people who are in need? The love of money is a sin. Not having money.”

Intention

I am sorry for how long this has gone on. I am not postponing this or withholding it. The reason for my disobedience is because my soul was wounded. In my past writings, I wrote that the reason I couldn’t accomplish God’s will sooner was because I was so hurt. I struggled to trust and even felt unworthy. While this is true. These wounds are real and deep. I have come to learn that the problem is a bit deeper.

From a physical plane, it is clear to see how wounded I am. It’s evident in the fact that my legs tremor violently every time I am frightened. It’s not as clear to see how emotionally and spiritually wounded I am. Ever since I gave my life to Christ, in baptism, I have had an internal struggle going on within myself. Because I was so wounded emotionally, I have a difficulty where I vocalize my emotions, what I am feeling and how I judge a situation. You have all heard me criticizing communism in one of these rants. Prior to my journey to the religious community, I had a lot of emotions, which I did not know what to do with or how to express properly. So, I vented. I am sure you have all seen me shouting as I walk down the street. While, this reaction has settled since my stay at the religious community, due to the healing I received there and the good examples of how men interact with conflict, I have always struggled to reconcile my faith with my emotional wounds. I struggled to reconcile my faith, which says to turn the other cheek and forgive, with my emotional wounds. It was even more confusing, I am sure not only for me, that while I was yelling down the street, I could be simultaneously offering my seat on the bus to an older person or giving money to someone on the street. These episodes were most often caused by panic attacks or flashbacks. You have to be able to acknowledge that this situation (what is happening in the world in relation to me) is entirely unpredictable. It cannot be difficult to see why this is all overwhelming and even frightening for me that everyone’s – EVERYONE’s – perceptions about me flip 180degrees every couple of hours. It’s terribly nerve racking. I always felt terribly after having one of these episodes. I have taken it to confession many times. Each time, I wondered why I was not improving. Finally, I took it to confession at my traditional parish in Ottawa. I told the priest what was happening and how I was feeling. He told me that I was inculpable and only vocalizing my thoughts. Merited, there were probably many times where there was sin in what I was doing (again, who can say they are not sinful?) what this priest said to me that day was like healing balm across the wounds of my soul.

I was meant to overcome death during the coma I was in. I spent time in The Kingdom of Heaven. I also spent time in hell. Afterwards, I spent time in Heaven again. Because I didn’t, I am still being burdened by everything I went through as a child. Because I didn’t overcome the trauma from my childhood, going into Heaven, my emotional well-being was still damaged. Some of the angels told me clearly that my emotions, my ability to feel were damaged. So going to Heaven, I didn’t experience the experiences the way that it was intended. To me, it was still burdened by the worries and anxieties in life, of which, even at the age of fifteen, I had more of than most people in life. I have been instructed, and have faith to believe that it is beneficial for me to utter this now, after so many years, because it may offer you some understanding as to why I am still having difficulties.

The reason I struggle so much, in spite of how much the Spirit is already doing for me is because of my unprocessed trauma. I made the decision to overcome this trauma at the end of my life because I feared being hurt again. Unprocessed trauma interrupts the human’s ability to be happy, creative. It’s like carrying a weight around with you, the weight proportional to the traumas you’ve endured. It’s like I have had to learn to do everything with my non-dominant hand. It’s the reason I have struggled so much in life. It’s the reason I struggled with addiction until Christ came to me. It’s the reason I got into collisions and it’s the reason I struggle in prayer. None of this is character trait. None of this is who I am. This is all a symptom of suffering. Suffering, if not endured in Christ, opens a door for the evil one and interrupts our being who God intended us to be. We all experience this on some level. I’m a prophet because of what I have endured. And, not only for the Church. I am smart enough to recognize that God doesn’t need me to speak for things to happen as they will. I’m foolish enough to want to speak anyway. The completion of my mission is not in anything I do or say. Rather it is in the truth about this. The reason I remain silent about certain things is because I want to leave it for the glory of God. I recognize that I have to be in a state of holiness. But even this is complicated and not entirely conscious. The reason I speak is because I get scared because y’all seem to forget when I don’t remind you. Ultimately, everything is for the glory of the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. In glorifying Him, I believe I will be glorified.

I was chosen before my birth. I said yes prior to my birth. The corruptible body weighs down the incorruptible soul. I underestimated the effect of trauma on the developing body and a good Christian foundation. The trauma I endured was too much for my body. Point is, I accepted this mission in Heaven prior to my birth. The reason I cannot say yes now is because I cannot trust. I am wounded. I already possess salvation. I need help overcoming the ritual abuse. These pacts is the reason I cannot trust. Do you hear me, Christians? I need help. What would a Christian response be to hearing that a little baby was given to satan and then raped daily into his twenties? I am going to die because of the accumulation of stress and repressed emotions in my body. I cannot think of a greater reward than physical resurrection in this life. Also, do you think my sins disqualify me from being used by God? Wait for the unveiling of sins. That will happen very soon. Look, I am afraid. Satan has been trying to extinguish me since I was born. I hope there is a chance for me to be quiet. I am afraid it will happen even if I don’t want it to. You’re already proving this in your desire for me to repare for my sins. I can barely walk! Yet you want to kill me! I am terribly traumatized! Yet you want to kill me! Talking about sin, you know a nocturnal emission is not mortal sin. This is and has been what I have struggled with over the past two years. This has also been the great majority of my confession matter, which I take to confession for healing of shame. Interesting to hear different priest’s opinions about that. One priest at my church sighs and hesitates before offering me absolution. Another refuses me absolution. The other tells me sincerely that it is something that is inculpable, that is just a part of nature. My sexuality is quite wounded. It would be foolish to say that my past grievous sins were a mistake in my ministry. Most of them were commit prior to my baptism. What does a baptism mean? We know what this is all about. Bitterness. Envy. Look, I don’t know how to be quiet. You have broken into every single place I can write privately! Name of God! How can I be silent when you are in my brain?

There will be evidence of what I claim. Facts are not truth. You know this to be true simply by the accompanying signs. Honestly, I don’t know why truth is not coming in my case even while every sneeze I had in kindergarten is coming out. It seems a little absurd. Especially if what I am claiming is true. When I was in heaven, I remember the angels saying that I had to try my hardest to accomplish this before too long. Because the longer it went on, the harder it would get on me and on the world. Try hard I did. I am meant to die because of the accumulation of trauma in my body but also as a sort of sacrificial offering for this particular ubiquitous sin. Fact is I was meant to do this over a decade ago. The reason it has dragged on so long is because this contract is still in place. Again, I have heaven. I have the Spirit. But, I can’t overcome this pact myself with the emotions still trapped. I used to think the reason I could not accomplish my mission was because I couldn’t trust. Or I felt unworthy. I am beginning to see that it is because I am still held by this. God always wanted me to die a happy death. All this to say that I am not simply a bystander, sharing his opinion but not doing anything. I feel I can offer some insight into the things I know in the time that has arisen as a result of my late coming. My writings are true. Even though, at times, I regret writing some of it. God love my abusers. They are simply misguided by their own feelings and traumas. God love them. I hope to see you and rejoice with you in heaven when this world is over.

There is a lot more to this than simply my forgiveness. This is not something I am withholding from the world. I tell you I have forgiven thousands of times. This is an incredibly complex issue. I am reaching out for spiritual help. In the past, I believed I was able to handle this issue on my own. I thought I was dealing with it. I have tried approaching SD's in the past about this. They never have much to say about it. Or it's viewed with incredulity. There is a matter related to many confessions I have made over the past couple of years that I feel I have omitted. For the past ten years, I have been fairly comfortable in knowing what God's will is for me. I wrote about it. I was meant to accept the Spirit of God when He first came to me. I wasn’t able to because I was in so much pain. God didn’t give up on me. I was meant to offer my life. This was what was expected of me. Something great was to happen at my death. Please understand that from the first time I was called to have died, I have been in a battle with my body. This is why I wrote a little novella in 2012. When I returned from Florida in 2013, I drove to parks where I was in the Word for hours each day. When I returned from Iceland, I remember laying in my bed for an hour before I fell asleep, repeating over and over, ‘I am ready, Lord’. But I really wasn’t ready. And it isn’t about what you do or say. I sincerely pray that He will be glorified and that your world will find reason to rejoice. I want you to know that I have tried very hard. I have not given up hope. Actually I believe very strongly that what will happen will serve to bring more glory to God. What I am looking for guidance about is the fact that for these ten years, Jesus visits me. He has told me a lot. I am not trying to prove these locutions. In time, people will know. A common word in each vision is that He asks me to open my heart. There is a whole story behind this. In the past, when I have heard this, I have stayed up in prayer these nights. Almost every time these visions happen, without fail, I wake up from deep sleep and disturbed by inculpable sin or I wake and, in my sleep, I am sinning. Once, I woke after experiencing the voice of Jesus and next to me, on my night stand, was placed my little Cross on a rope necklace. My pants were off (I had gone to bed with them on) and folded up and placed at the end of my bed. It is forced and not conscious on my part. For me, I have been chastely celibate for almost four years. The reason I understand that I am having difficulty surrendering to Jesus and His will for me is because of my relationship with my abusers. Maybe it’s connected to the activity of my infancy. I am having such difficulty trusting God because in my developmental years, I got the image in my mind that God did not have my best interest at heart. I’ve been praying six rosaries a day and keep up two novenas at a time. Have tried praying the surrender novena a lot. This is about more than my simple forgiveness.

I know you are testing me. I don’t need to be tested. I know for your sake, this is the right thing to do. I respect this. I know it must be frustrating that you’re not getting the results you are expecting. Or rather hoping for. This will happen. And there are reasons I find it difficult to conform to this world. What I need is the love I never received as a child. When Christ came to me, I was a mess, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I still struggle. But I think I really owe it to myself to stop, look backwards and see just how far I have come. I need to stop feeling badly about who I am. I need to stop seeing everything that is bad and negative about me. I need to recognize that I am a child of God. And that that is paramount to any despair, any trauma and any failure I could have. God fills the gap. I want this. I want to live and love. I don’t know how to. I am learning. And I am fighting so darned hard for the life that I know I deserve. I don’t need love as a reward for something I’ve done or said. I don’t even need reciprocal love. What I need, what I crave is unconditional love. There is only one place from which to get that. What I need is for truth to come out about this. I will be at peace. But because of the nature of my experiences, I need to understand human love in addition to divine love.

I did not want vengeance. I want truth to come out. The circumstances that arise as a result of truth coming out are not my business. I have tried a lot to encourage people that you will rejoice when truth comes out. Without truth, I can forgive. There cannot be true healing without truth. I have no intention of hurting my abusers. Or anyone else for that matter. All I have ever wanted is for the truth to come out. I want truth to come out because of what it means for the world. Still, I wonder why someone might actually want to resist my message. What would be the motivation for not wanting it to be true? It may be private revelation. Bur can you really not see how glorious a revelation it is? It will be a new era of justice, peace, love and hope! When truth comes, you will know that it’s true.

I suffered the worst darkness you could possibly imagine, for God, in God. You will see. This is not favoritism. I am no better than any one of you. I am a terrible sinner. My story is still being revealed to me, unveiling before my eyes. It feels like I didn’t even really start healing until I unearthed certain elements of my story. I will not waste words. I’m sorry if I traumatized anyone in reading my writings about my life. It was hard to get through, I imagine. I am not trumping trauma. I have healed past the point where I have to prove that my trauma is worse than everybody else’s. This is really an indicator that a person has only begun their healing. My previous writings sugarcoat what I really endured. There is a type of evil that is in the world is not really fathomable to most people’s imaginations. My identity split. Many times. To cope with very systematic and targeted traumas throughout my childhood. It began for me, even the rituals, when I was only an infant. You would not believe what happened if I were to tell you. The good human imagination will not even go there. It will all be revealed after my passing. This, though veiled with unspecific language, is the reason why I cannot accept the fullness of the healing of the Holy Ghost now. I cannot accept the fullness of His love because of the ritual traumatic programming. I need help. Christians, I need your help. This is why God blesses me so much. This is why God loves me so much. I endured this in my infancy for Him. Really, it was something I endured for a very long time. Do you think the rituals and programming stopped after I grew up? My handlers were still programming me as long as I was around them. Crazy? Me? How is your memory? This is very real, in spite of the mind’s best attempts to guard against it. I have been through a lot of healing resources. It makes me think I have entered a video game. Some of it is so absurd it’s hard to believe it’s real for me. Jesus can heal me. Jesus will heal me. I need help. Jesus, save me.

If it were for the good of world that I be a simple pilgrim for the next decade, you wouldn’t have the craving to spy on me in my bedroom. You wouldn’t have the craving to hear about even my minor sins. No, you are only looking to humiliate me. May the Lord bless you. And keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace. You need really, laity to ask one question. Why are people (even in the Church) fighting so hard to censor truth? Again, if it were for my own good, for the good of the world, you wouldn’t have to spy on every single thing I do. Ask the question. Christians, I need your help. Christians, I need your help.

You can tell me to get a job. Nobody will really give me a job. I cannot even get factory work. I am not complaining. This all has a very specific end. I am worried about that end. Because what begins in envy is not of God. Any money I have made from my books has all been robbed. Somebody is preventing my new literature from being published. I am not accusing anyone. I am learning to accept the fact that every new individual I encounter believes me to be the worst things a human can possibly be because of the mistakes of my childhood. You think I don't deserve God's blessings because of my sins. I was not raised Christian. Also, wait for the big unveiling. There's a skeleton in everybody's closet. ;) Actually, in spite of this roadblock, I have gone far in writing very epic pieces of literature and creating a small business of my own. What can I say? What’s to be done? I am against a terribly large wall.

God showed me an amazingly beautiful revelation last night regarding myself. He showed me the state of my soul when I entered the world. I am ashamed to say that for decades, I viewed myself even with my intentions of entering the world as bad. God gave me such a beautiful grace in showing me the fact that almost everything I believed about myself that was negative was a lie. All of this to say, I was a perfect and beautiful child when I entered this world. Like every child.

It was wrong of you to record my deliverance session. It’s wrong of you to record my confessions and spiritual directions. Even I recognize that this is not a problem on the level of the priesthood. With something as vulnerable and specific as a deliverance session, you should know that there is a lot more to the story than what was said in that. Sometimes, even the hardest situations merit the most empathy and compassion. I have said all of this before. I deserve this for my sins. But what you have planned is wrong morally. You are listening to a single interview I gave in an extremely private and vulnerable setting. You are listening to a prophecy that was written for another time. The only person you are not listening to is me. I think it’s clear why.

The reason it was wrong of you to record my deliverance session is the same reason it is always wrong to record confessions. I believe it is excommunicable. The fact is that I made myself vulnerable. The decision I made when I was young, I confessed in past writings. Still, it was a decision that I had made when I was very young. Very wounded. Emotionally as well as physically. I was not Christian. I pray that my heart has changed well. I have been to confession countless times about this particular issue. It happened decade prior to my baptism. Check the audio files in my archive. ;) Again, I don’t have a light switch on my life. This is not something that can be forced. Again, I need the love I never received as a child. This is the reason I am unable to accomplish God’s will.

I am not complaining. I am telling my truth. Truth feels like the only thing preventing people from hurting me. Truth is the only leverage I have keeping me safe. This is the reason I keep saying things to random people. I am frightened that you will hurt me further. Truth is the only thing preventing that from happening. If it is a sad, disgusting story, I don’t know what to tell you. If you don’t want to hear it, I don’t know what to tell you. This is my story.

You have to only ask yourself how Christian and based in charity this decision is. On the contrary, it seems remarkably cruel. It is not a wonder that they want to silence me considering what I have against them. Listen to me very carefully, I am not a threat to your power. What I endured as a child, I endured because God asked me to. I am who God says I am. Before I was born, God appointed me and chose me to be His servant. My experiences of Heaven began before my birth. At least now we know why God blesses me so much. It is not Christian to try to hurt someone. It is not Christian to provoke bad in someone to justify even worse behavior. I wonder how a true Christian would react to hearing that an infant was sold and ransomed by evil people to satan? That child having grown, who now lives a righteous life and seeks simply to be consecrated to God. He has eternal life because of the work that he has done. He has been trying so hard to rid himself of this weight. Seems like whatever he does, he cannot shake the pact of sorrow. He learns that he cannot help himself. Is the true Christian’s response going to be to help this child or provoke this terrible curse placed on him in infancy? I was an infant. This was these people’s choice. Not mine. Who is deceived? The one who stands firm to the message of Christ as He instructed and which has been this way for 2000 years? Or is the one who is deceived and who is deceiving the one who is trying to compromise Truth of the Faith with modernism and communism? Two of the biggest heresies of the past. I do not speak heresy. I speak what is common sense. Modernism, communism in the church? If you feel I need to be tested, if you feel I need to make reparation for my sin, I will submit. To me, it seems unbelievably cruel and heartless. Truth is far more valuable than the actions of any person. Truth is unoffendable, uncancellable and unphased by things that happen around it. Truth is truth regardless of whether people subscribe to it or not.

Have had a realization lately. Not to bore you with details but I have realized that I am split personality. I have DID. I am self-diagnosing, yes. First of all, I don’t trust the doctors to tell me the truth about much. Secondly, you know when you know. It explains an awful lot. Including things that are unexplainable in other conditions. DID incorporates cPTSD. It explains the amnesia over most of my life. Forgetting how I did things, ever having conversations, friendships, entire years passed. It explains the different personalities I possess. It is caused by ritual abuse. It’s about more than labels. Because I have been forced into passivity and submission by people when they abuse me, I have a lot of unsaid feelings and emotions. I asked one of my alters recently what I could do to help him. He responded that I should take assertiveness lessons. This made a lot click for me. Realizing that my childhood and the abuse I took then has made me passive and weak. Ironically, it also seems to have made me target for bullies all throughout my life. Learning about assertiveness has opened my eyes a lot. I firmly stand by the fact that the reason I don’t stand up for myself is because God Himself is going to stand up for me. God has His justice. And He will stand up for me personally. Publicly. Soon. But the fact is that, I have a voice. And I owe it to myself to use it. I really believe that God would rather protect a child from enduring the worst horrors than have him endure them for the sake of forgiving later. Our God is a good God. He wants us to be happy. Suffering is not the natural state of things. Nor does God even want us to suffer. He gives us grace and makes His glory abound even more in our suffering. Because He is able to make the best of even the worst. You need to know that God is not a masochist. What has gotten this idea into the Christian mind? Listen, God wants our happiness. Name of God! That I even have to say this. Where are your experts? The saints are wonderful examples of piety. They are examples of ideal faith and holiness. But the lives they lived, do you really think that God would not have spared them from their anguish were He able? It is splendidly true that faith grows exponentially stronger in suffering. Suffering purifies us, in a sense. But it is not the natural state of things. I know that God only wishes that we would come to know Him and His love without ever having to suffer. The only thing God ever asked of me in my childhood was to tell the truth about what was happened to me. God resented that my abusers were doing these things to me. He hated seeing it. He will show you this behavior is unacceptable.

Regardless of the past, I like my life. I like myself. I love myself. I only want to be happy. I wish I had my wife with me. It seems at every step, I am deprived of good things everywhere. I thought that revealing my identity and what I have endured would help the world. I thought it would help you to be compassionate and understanding. For a time, it did. You surprised me with your goodness. I never anticipated it would come to this. World, remember goodness. Remember compassion. Don't let your hearts grow cold. I should have trusted God from the beginning. I wish I knew how. Christians, once more, I need your help. This will not stop at simple feelings of jealousy. One needs to ask themselves from where this jealousy has its roots. From where is it originating? 

God loves you. We have a God who cares infinitely about every human being on this planet. He was the one who crafted you in your ma's womb. He is the one who gave you your beautiful eyes, your conscience and your feelings. He has created you with an infinite array of choices and possibilities. Your future is never set. It is guided. By Him. But we make the choice. Choose love, friends. Choose love.

The Fourth. (Updated)

A child cannot raise itself. The fourth commandment is fixed and immovable. However, I do have some insight that I would like to share that I have gathered as a result of experience as well as spiritual insight that I have. I do come from a unique perspective. The fourth commandment has not changed. There are only exceptions. When a parent is unhealthy and hurting their child toxically, that child needs to be safeguarded. Children deserve and need love. Love in a healthy way. Love that is lucid, is not actually love. Love that allows a child to do whatever they want, that does not offer strict and helpful guidance, is not love. Love from fear is not love. It is submission. Like tender roots, children need to be nourished with love in order to flourish. In our culture, it’s even inappropriate for drill sergeants to assault their recruits. Illegal for teachers to punish their students. Absolutely punishable by law if an employer were to abuse their employee. These are all adults. Why would it be alright for a child to be put in that situation? Again, I’m not saying this in order to make anyone feel bad. It’s the way we were taught and raised in many ways. Neither is this a condemnation. Most parents do an awesome job with what they have. And no one can doubt for a single second the degree of selflessness it takes to be a mom or a dad. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right,” (Ephesians 6:1). This is a passage of the New Testament that expounds upon the fourth commandment, appropriate insofar as we would expect any person to obey ‘in the Lord’. Parenting is an enormous responsibility. Many well-meaning people are not always recognisant of the effect they can have on children for literally the rest of their lives. Surely, we must always obey and do our best to honor our parents as children. But we should not be expected to obey and honor into sinful behavior or when what we are obeying will be to lead to our own harm or to the harm of others. This law is associated with all authority. To learn to obey an authority, we need to obey our parents. What happens when those parents, are abusing their own authority? I think the same can be said for obedience of any order by an authority figure. This is not leave to disobey simply because something makes us uneasy. Rather, through discernment and prayer, we can come to a place where we are given wisdom as to what to do in a situation. What of when the child is being hurt by the parent? Surely we cannot expect the child to pray on his discernment for what to do next. This is where the line between abuse and discipline is essential to be drawn. Obviously, a parent who continually strikes their child, rapes their child (it happens), or tortures their child, would be considered a parent who is abusing their child. Discipline always comes from a place of love and interest in the well-being of the child. We see instances these days of parents who are accosted for attempting to discourage their children from gender reassignment surgery because they are experiencing confusion. While I believe personally that these confused people deserve enormous amounts of compassion, one need ask themselves honestly whether it is a matter of discipline or of abuse, whether the decision to ask a child to pray about their identity rather than make drastic and irreversible changes to their bodies, is for the good will of the child’s future or whether it is to satiate their desires in the moment. Kids are not the friends of their parents. Parents have a vocation and a responsibility to guide and shape their children. No question that it is difficult. This is the hardest job in the world. But they do happen. More and more, with the increase in social media and communication, we’re hearing about stories like these. It’s tragic. And they should not happen. Never. Why should a child suffer? Merited, their suffering is not always a result of intentional harm. We are to care for ourselves first and love God first. From this, emerges the ability of a human being to love themselves and from that, others. That is hardly to deny the fact that the child should always obey a parent in righteousness and in decisions that are made for him out of the insight and righteousness of the Lord. We must honor our parents but we should not make ourselves suffer in order to do that. “God values the protection and safety of children and of those suffering more than He values the endurance of pain for the sake of endurance. God would rather protect a child than have that child suffer and then have to forgive”. Parents, as the commandment states, are to be honored. This commandment was and remains true. But, there is an exception. If a parent is deliberately or continuously harming a child, or if in any severe way, a parent is unfit in care-taking a child, that parent’s will is not to be honored. The parent, absolutely, must be honored. Actually, we must, in every case, seek to preserve the family unit. But we must know that sometimes, the best way to seek to honor our parents is to distance ourselves from them or even to seek professional help for them. Reconciliation is different from forgiveness. We can forgive but it is not always appropriate or healthy to reconcile the relationship to the way it once was. This is the case if a parent is unhealthy emotionally and the nature of the relationship toxic. That is not so much a criticism towards the parent as it is a matter of the child’s welfare. If a parent is not a believer in God, that parent’s will must be honored, on condition that they keep their child safe and are able to nurture its growth with love and support. As children, we must absolutely honor our parents. But that is not to discount the fact that there are many responsibilities that come along with parenting. I am definitely not criticizing or changing the Word of God. I just feel that we need to read it in context and not perform closed readings of passages believing that by reading only that passage, we discern the truth about it. The Word needs to be read in context. Everything. Every word. Every letter. We need to analyze and interpret passages with love. The love that Jesus came to bring to mankind. Of course we must not forget that God is the righteous judge as well. But our God is a God of love. He wants to protect children. All children. Also, discipline is different than abuse. Discipline is not only an important part of growing up, it is essential. God disciplines those He loves. Another little piece of wisdom is that parents can feed a child, clothe it and house it. If they are raping it or taking out their frustration on it, they don’t have that child’s best interest at heart.

I cannot fathom how it is even difficult to perceive that the way a parent raises a child is going to have an effect on their growth. Merited, children should respect parents and behave well. And of course, discipline is essential in any child’s development. Everything, everything a parent does to a child, every grunt, every smile, every shout, every laugh, every attack, every hug has the capacity to make or break their spirit. Parents, do you not understand? Do you not recognize the incredible task and responsibility that has been placed before you? It is a vocation. Nothing less. Parenting is difficult. It is obvious that I am looking at this from one perspective. I have never been a parent. If God wills, I am at His service. God just showed me a different perspective. Parents, this is why it is so important to heal and address the wounds of our own past. God desires, the Church desires that children have families. God wants you to be with your child. God wants every child to have a mother and father. What do I know? I am not a parent. I am however someone’s child. I was a child at a point. And I have an exceptional testimony and insight into psychology that has been given to me by God. Parenting is difficult. Certainly. And children need stresses in life to grow. I am not telling you to treat them like flowers. They do not need to be abused, belittled, humiliated, shamed. We owe it to them, to God to treat our children with more respect than we would pay to a poor employee. We should not speak to them like an employee. We should not speak to them like someone to be ridiculed. Shame is especially wounding. And in this, there is a dynamic that perpetuates terribly. Yes, sexual abuse in childhood perpetuates. Almost certainly. The shame we receive in our childhoods also perpetuates. Our parents shame us. We will certainly shame our children. Even if we are not conscious of it. Until we process the feelings. Parents, if I am hard on you, it’s only because of how much potential there is in our children. I say this to you with love, deep love. Parents you are doing such an amazing job. God sees the sweat, the pain, the extra hours, the laundry, the meals. Your work is not in vain. It is for your children. It is also for God. Healing is coming.

Above all of this, I just want you to know how valuable the child is to God the Father. Abortion is a terribly grave sin. Human trafficking, sex trafficking and child trafficking and slavery are nearly as grave. How we treat our most vulnerable is what is important. There is a reason why the Word states, in the Kingdom of Heaven, the child will be considered the first. Above kings, above princes, above doctors and warriors. And so it will be. We often choose in our childhood’s a path for the rest of our lives. O, where could I have gotten my wisdom? This is another reason we need to be respectful of our children. We must resist the temptation to break our children. Our children are in the process of determining who they will be in their futures. In childhood, the possibility of future lives are endless. We are in a constant choice during our childhoods, planning and organizing the paths of our lives. It’s Scriptural. “If our eye causes us to sin, pluck it out and throw it away.” Children have much more insight and gifts than we want to believe. We think that because they cannot speak, because they are dependent upon us for their survival, they are not intelligent. On the contrary. All of the intelligence God has given us, which we will possess in our adulthood is present in childhood. It simply needs to be nurtured and developed. Children possess a connection deeper to the spiritual realm than the most powerful of prophets. They cannot articulate it. The same goes almost certainly with those who are disabled. To one realm or the other. Particularly disabled children. Though, not all people who are disabled are going to choose God (the same is true with anyone else), I can attest to the fact that when I was asleep in a coma, my physical well-being completely invalid, spiritually, the angels danced over me. It was an extremely active time for me spiritually. There is a beautiful play written by an English playwrite called “Bea”. Wonderful story about a young girl who is disabled. The play juxtaposes two sides to this girl. The first side: her real life, where she presents as unresponsive and completely dependent. The second side: her spiritual side, where she is a playful child, performing somersaults, playing hide and go seek, jumping on the bed and playing with dolls. It is only a play. But I think we can learn so much from it. In my life, I have felt more alive when I was in a coma, simply because of the hand of God upon me then, than I have over the rest of my life. We don’t agree with abortion. We don’t agree with euthanasia. What is the reason? If this were true, what would it mean for these industries? Just because something doesn’t speak doesn’t mean it is unintelligent. God, who is the Master of Life, has created the universe in such a paradoxical irony that where there is life, there is life. But where there appears to not be life, there is even more life. I cannot tell you enough how important it is to nourish your children. Nourish them with Truth and love. Of course, no one expects people to believe anything that is extra-canonical. But, search your hearts. You will find something there. I do not know where this is coming from. God just tells me to write. I am not even teaching. These are simply musings to me. Don’t forget, as far as I know, all I am doing is writing into a private computer. There is no reason for me to believe that people have access to my devices.

Surely, we must always obey and do our best to honor our parents as children. But we should not be expected to obey and honor into sinful behavior or when what we are obeying will be to lead to our own harm or to the harm of others. This law is associated with all authority. To learn to obey an authority, we need to obey our parents. What happens when those parents, are abusing their own authority? I think the same can be said for obedience of any order by an authority figure. This is not leave to disobey simply because something makes us uneasy. Rather, through discernment and prayer, we can come to a place where we are given wisdom as to what to do in a situation. What of when the child is being hurt by the parent? Surely we cannot expect the child to pray on his discernment for what to do next. This is where the line between abuse and discipline is essential to be drawn. Obviously, a parent who continually strikes their child, rapes their child (it happens), or tortures their child, would be considered a parent who is abusing their child. Discipline always comes from a place of love and interest in the well-being of the child. We see instances these days of parents who are accosted for attempting to discourage their children from gender reassignment surgery because they are experiencing confusion. While I believe personally that these confused people deserve enormous amounts of compassion, one need ask themselves honestly whether it is a matter of discipline or of abuse, whether the decision to ask a child to pray about their identity rather than make drastic and irreversible changes to their bodies, is for the good will of the child’s future or whether it is to satiate their desires in the moment. Kids are not the friends of their parents. Parents have a vocation and a responsibility to guide and shape their children.

Parents are gonna shape their children. How they are raised will not only affect their understanding of God and every other relationship in the world, it's also gonna shape what they do in their lives, the decisions they make. A child's understanding of obedience comes through the fruits of their obedience to their parents. If a child was obedient to their parent(s) and the parent's took advantage of that trust to abuse the child, the child's complete understanding of obedience just became trampled. Again, friends, parents can raise a child, give it toys and affection and good food and a good roof over his head. If you, as a parent, are sexually interfering in your child's life, you don't have the child's best interest at heart. What you may consider love, the child does not, he cannot see it the same. This is the reason for the disjointed interactions with authority these days. It's the reason for the emotional turmoil. 

The way a parent treats a child in his formative years will be very influential upon his entire life. This is because trauma accumulates and emotions repress. It's a reason why it is unjust to judge a child who was raised in an abusive household growing up for what they do later in life, especially while the abuse they are undergoing is still going on. Let's use an imaginary analogy. Let's say two parents raised their child in a satanic environment. They sexually abused him, emotionally abused him, physically abused him, neglected him and spiritually and ritually abused him for the first fifteen years of his life. When this child gets older, he begins to act out, do things hysterically (as though he had no control over his actions whatsoever), and eventually hurt one of the parents who did these things to him growing up. It is not a matter of vengeance. In fact, it is exactly what he knows. It is exactly what he was raised on. If it were a matter of vengeance, could the case not be made that he was raised in the sort of environment, which nurtured these thoughts and feelings? Years pass, this imaginary man was baptized and receives healing. At which time, he changes his life and lives a holy life. What I am arguing is that the way the child treated the parent is not as influential as the way the parent treated the child growing up. Which sin would God view with more disdain? Take a step back a second. View it from eyes of love. Put aside your law based glasses for now. First of all, the child is a vulnerable, completely innocent before God. Regardless of your theology, if you cannot see that, you are far from love. It's the reason abortion is so evil. Secondly, the child is incredibly fashionable. A child learns love from those who teach him love. A child learns whatever it is taught. Thirdly, emotions repress. This creates a whirlwind of difficulty for the future. Including acting out in many, many ways. Fourthly, as indicated in this particular imaginary example, satanic abuse most often is the catalyst for behavioral problems within victims growing up. Finally, if you cannot see the fact that we are all as guilty as the next person, then you are missing out on the entirety of the Gospel.

So, what is the purpose of this post? It is not a bash against parents. Look, I'm sorry if I focus on the negative. I encourage you to remember my early mission. I encourage you to see the love that is in telling the truth to people. This is how you show them their path to salvation. This is a problem that is millennia old. It is one, which is so deeply rooted in our culture. I am writing now to tell you that healing is coming. Things will not be this way forever. Healing is coming. God loves you all so much and He wants you to experience healing and restoration. Trust Him for your healing. God will heal the family unit. God will heal the world. God will heal the Church. This is not my promise. It's God's.