I bring you great news. I bring you great news from the heart of your Father. From the heart of Jehovah. Be ye still. Be ye firm. Know that your rescuer comes. Like a swooping eagle, he descends upon the earth. Know that now, according to the prophets is a time of great excitement. There is much joy among the angels today in heaven. They rejoice now even louder than before. For the time of fulfillment comes to fruition. The time of magnitude and culmination of creation. Truly, the entire universe has been waiting in trepidation for this moment. The world has been groaning as with growing pangs for this very moment. True, sin is greater now than even in the time of Noah! I bring you great news, my friends. Where sin lurks, grace abounds even more! The angels rejoice in heaven at every saved soul that harkens to the cry of God. The question is, amidst this sin and shame, will you harken to His cry? He awaits your answer. The one who crafted you in your mother’s womb, the one who knows intimately each sun and star and moon and galaxy in the universe is also the one who knows intimately every hair on your head. Be brave, dear friends. Be bold. Difficult times lurk at the door for the true flock. I admonish you, Christ not I, do not follow the ways of this world. For times shall come, when the popular church will deviate and teach a counterfeit message. This message that will be taught, following the popular and the modern, will stand in the face of the true message. Know that Jehovah’s true flock, His little sheep, will heed His voice. The voice of the true Shepherd. Know that He will gather you into His embrace, as a mother hen, gathers her chicks into her torso, warming them, caring for them. Protecting them. Know that regardless of how difficult things become in this world, if you stay faith and are brave and maintain your faith, you will live to see the true blessings of God. These blessings He has in store for us are truly beyond our wildest comprehension. No human imagination can fathom the depths of the riches and blessings that He has prepared for us. You, at this time, my dear flock, need to work on building a fortress within yourself. I am hard. I am strict. I try to justify it. Perhaps it’s a quality many have lacked in their formations these days. For what is love, without discipline? Know that I am prepared, even in the state I am in, to be crushed by your envious leaders for these children. Afterwards, the time for the real men to shepherd will arise. I would not be a responsible shepherd if I were to tell you that things are going to be well. You need build your faith, friends. Merited, the restoration that will come shall be a little heaven. It shall be more glorious than any era of mankind since the dawning of creation. Hold this hope. Know that even if things become difficult, after a while, after some time, you will be rewarded. Your faiths shall be rewarded. I need you to know that I am learning what it is to love. Love is worth fighting for. Friends, you are a beautiful people. Church, my beautiful Church. I do not speak to the Catholics, the Witnesses, the Baptists, I do not speak to any particular grouping. I speak to you who believe in love. I speak to you who are truly dependant upon your Heavenly Father. You will receive the encouragement and blessing and reward for your faith that you need. You may not need it. Some will. You will see Jehovah like a lion defending the innocent and righteous. You will see Him literally take His stance at your side. World, my other flock, know that help comes. You have been fed lies since the dawning of creation to keep you in line. Know that there will soon be healing. You will soon be liberated from these lies and methods of enslavement. You will soon be free. Free and in control of your own destiny. It will sting. After the sting, healing will set in like a balm from Jehovah. If Jesus can heal leprosy, He can heal any kind of sin that you have hidden in your consciousnesses. Be bold. Be strong. Be courageous. In that day, all the world will be brought to its knees. You will see your reality before God. You may approach this thought with complacency at this time. Know you will not have a choice. You will be brought low. Because for a brief moment in time, you will view the world, and everything in it, with pure love. You will see your actions, words and inactions and thoughts through the eyes of God. It will be a great pain for some. Some will die. Be bold. Be courageous. Know that Jehovah’s justice is perfect. The evil garbage, to you Jehovah says, you who are powerful in this world, let your knees tremble and let your faces aghast in horror. For what is prepared for you is worse than what has been prepared for the cities of Sodom and Gommorah. You evil, wicked monsters. Who instructed you to flee from the wrath that comes? In the day of judgement, even your baptisms will not bear weight. Jehovah sees the hidden parts of your hearts. He shall expose them. And in your humiliation, you shall tremble and bow to your true King. You sure are very powerful people. Before Jehovah, your power is laughable. I speak to no man personally. Your hearts will be your judges. But I offer you great hope. There is still time! Be humbled. Be prostrate. Be children. For with your worldly power that you wield so carelessly now you will be held to great accountability. It’s not too late. Repent! Use your power to help the children. The vulnerables. You have hope now. For Jehovah Himself has descended to the earth to tell you to repent. For the time of true judgement is set. You shall all be judged by your works. Here is the great thing! It truly does not matter what you have done in your lives. With Jehovah, now is the chance to be made completely new. Listen: Our hearts, our inner children, our spirits, guide our path and Jehovah guides our steps. We can change our path if we want to. Let us build friendship with Him today, friends. For then, nothing will be able to come against us. It is a choice that we shall all need make. Know this: regardless of the choice we make, this judgement comes. Be warned. Very soon, you will see your sins. You will see your shame. Stuff you cannot remember. Be strong. Be courageous. It will sting. As with leprosy, sin covers us. Every single one of us. Even your pope. Even in his vocation. But, remember Jesus has the capacity to not only heal our leprosy and sin. He has the capacity to restore anything that was lost because of it. Be bold, faithful. True help… True encouragement and justice comes. It waits at the door. But you need do your part. Repent. Begin by taking twenty minutes of the day. Read the Bible. Reflect on what you read. Build on that. Your King comes soon. Be bolstered. Be warned.
Monday, January 19, 2026
Monday, July 3, 2023
Poetry by Joshua Hope:
We are united in a dance. The lot of us. Some of us only in for a glance.
The forbidden tragedy of an eternal prison,
Is our fate.
It is not the cold, lifeless stone
of a jail cell that confines us.
Sad!
It is the flesh, the very mind of our own being.
Trapped.
A solitary confinement awaits,
Our sentence simply for being traumatized.
Each of us holds a pain unbearable.
Untold. Darkness. An unapologetic darkness.
A story that holds that key to our existence.
A story, forgotten, neglected.
How long? Will my sentence endure forever?
Seems a weighty punishment for my sorrow.
Simply, for my sorrow.
Here!
An opening!
It looks promising.
Some light!
Maybe it is in fact light and not deception.
I panic. My breath halts.
What is this light?
It becomes unbearable.
How can I see?
It has become so bright.
Until, the light encapsulates me in its aura.
Until, I am not longer an essence of my own.
Only a vibrant extension of its source.
Joy! A voice.
Long forgotten. Yet so close. Familiar.
It beckons. I return the call.
I am still alone.
I wait.
I call out.
I have met a friend.
I have met God.
I have met myself.
Nothing as precious could be found in all the world.
A figure, emerging from the light draws in, whispering, softly,
Next to my own ear. He says:
"In time, little one, special one, you will come to know the God who loves you. I have come into this confinement of yours to show you Jesus."
The dance ceased suddenly.
I was able to release my grasp.
Integration!
I am free!
Thursday, June 22, 2023
Intention
I am sorry for how long this has gone on. I am not postponing this or withholding it. The reason for my disobedience is because my soul was wounded. In my past writings, I wrote that the reason I couldn’t accomplish God’s will sooner was because I was so hurt. I struggled to trust and even felt unworthy. While this is true. These wounds are real and deep. I have come to learn that the problem is a bit deeper.
From a
physical plane, it is clear to see how wounded I am. It’s evident in the fact
that my legs tremor violently every time I am frightened. It’s not as clear to
see how emotionally and spiritually wounded I am. Ever since I gave my life to
Christ, in baptism, I have had an internal struggle going on within myself.
Because I was so wounded emotionally, I have a difficulty where I vocalize my
emotions, what I am feeling and how I judge a situation. You have all heard me
criticizing communism in one of these rants. Prior to my journey to the
religious community, I had a lot of emotions, which I did not know what to do
with or how to express properly. So, I vented. I am sure you have all seen me
shouting as I walk down the street. While, this reaction has settled since my
stay at the religious community, due to the healing I received there and the
good examples of how men interact with conflict, I have always struggled to
reconcile my faith with my emotional wounds. I struggled to reconcile my faith,
which says to turn the other cheek and forgive, with my emotional wounds. It
was even more confusing, I am sure not only for me, that while I was yelling
down the street, I could be simultaneously offering my seat on the bus to an
older person or giving money to someone on the street. These episodes were most
often caused by panic attacks or flashbacks. You have to be able to acknowledge
that this situation (what is happening in the world in relation to me) is
entirely unpredictable. It cannot be difficult to see why this is all
overwhelming and even frightening for me that everyone’s – EVERYONE’s –
perceptions about me flip 180degrees every couple of hours. It’s terribly nerve
racking. I always felt terribly after having one of these episodes. I have
taken it to confession many times. Each time, I wondered why I was not
improving. Finally, I took it to confession at my traditional parish in Ottawa.
I told the priest what was happening and how I was feeling. He told me that I
was inculpable and only vocalizing my thoughts. Merited, there were probably
many times where there was sin in what I was doing (again, who can say they are
not sinful?) what this priest said to me that day was like healing balm across
the wounds of my soul.
I was meant to
overcome death during the coma I was in. I spent time in The Kingdom of Heaven.
I also spent time in hell. Afterwards, I spent time in Heaven again. Because I
didn’t, I am still being burdened by everything I went through as a child.
Because I didn’t overcome the trauma from my childhood, going into Heaven, my
emotional well-being was still damaged. Some of the angels told me clearly that
my emotions, my ability to feel were damaged. So going to Heaven, I didn’t
experience the experiences the way that it was intended. To me, it was still
burdened by the worries and anxieties in life, of which, even at the age of
fifteen, I had more of than most people in life. I have been instructed, and
have faith to believe that it is beneficial for me to utter this now, after so
many years, because it may offer you some understanding as to why I am still
having difficulties.
The reason I struggle so much, in spite of how much the
Spirit is already doing for me is because of my unprocessed trauma. I made the
decision to overcome this trauma at the end of my life because I feared being
hurt again. Unprocessed trauma interrupts the human’s ability to be happy,
creative. It’s like carrying a weight around with you, the weight proportional
to the traumas you’ve endured. It’s like I have had to learn to do everything
with my non-dominant hand. It’s the reason I have struggled so much in life.
It’s the reason I struggled with addiction until Christ came to me. It’s the
reason I got into collisions and it’s the reason I struggle in prayer. None of
this is character trait. None of this is who I am. This is all a symptom of
suffering. Suffering, if not endured in Christ, opens a door for the evil one
and interrupts our being who God intended us to be. We all experience this on
some level. I’m a prophet because of what I have endured. And, not only for the
Church. I am smart enough to recognize that God doesn’t need me to speak for
things to happen as they will. I’m foolish enough to want to speak anyway. The
completion of my mission is not in anything I do or say. Rather it is in the
truth about this. The reason I remain silent about certain things is because I
want to leave it for the glory of God. I recognize that I have to be in a state
of holiness. But even this is complicated and not entirely conscious. The
reason I speak is because I get scared because y’all seem to forget when I
don’t remind you. Ultimately, everything is for the glory of the Father and His
Son, Jesus Christ. In glorifying Him, I believe I will be glorified.
I was chosen before my birth. I said yes prior to my birth.
The corruptible body weighs down the incorruptible soul. I underestimated the
effect of trauma on the developing body and a good Christian foundation. The
trauma I endured was too much for my body. Point is, I accepted this mission in
Heaven prior to my birth. The reason I cannot say yes now is because I cannot
trust. I am wounded. I already possess salvation. I need help overcoming the
ritual abuse. These pacts is the reason I cannot trust. Do you hear me,
Christians? I need help. What would a Christian response be to hearing that a
little baby was given to satan and then raped daily into his twenties? I am
going to die because of the accumulation of stress and repressed emotions in my
body. I cannot think of a greater reward than physical resurrection in this
life. Also, do you think my sins disqualify me from being used by God? Wait for
the unveiling of sins. That will happen very soon. Look, I am afraid. Satan has
been trying to extinguish me since I was born. I hope there is a chance for me
to be quiet. I am afraid it will happen even if I don’t want it to. You’re
already proving this in your desire for me to repare for my sins. I can barely
walk! Yet you want to kill me! I am terribly traumatized! Yet you want to kill
me! Talking about sin, you know a nocturnal emission is not mortal sin. This is
and has been what I have struggled with over the past two years. This has also
been the great majority of my confession matter, which I take to confession for
healing of shame. Interesting to hear different priest’s opinions about that.
One priest at my church sighs and hesitates before offering me absolution.
Another refuses me absolution. The other tells me sincerely that it is
something that is inculpable, that is just a part of nature. My sexuality is
quite wounded. It would be foolish to say that my past grievous sins were a
mistake in my ministry. Most of them were commit prior to my baptism. What does
a baptism mean? We know what this is all about. Bitterness. Envy. Look, I don’t
know how to be quiet. You have broken into every single place I can write
privately! Name of God! How can I be silent when you are in my brain?
There will be evidence of what I claim. Facts are not truth.
You know this to be true simply by the accompanying signs. Honestly, I don’t
know why truth is not coming in my case even while every sneeze I had in
kindergarten is coming out. It seems a little absurd. Especially if what I am
claiming is true. When I was in heaven, I remember the angels saying that I had
to try my hardest to accomplish this before too long. Because the longer it
went on, the harder it would get on me and on the world. Try hard I did. I am
meant to die because of the accumulation of trauma in my body but also as a
sort of sacrificial offering for this particular ubiquitous sin. Fact is I was
meant to do this over a decade ago. The reason it has dragged on so long is
because this contract is still in place. Again, I have heaven. I have the
Spirit. But, I can’t overcome this pact myself with the emotions still trapped.
I used to think the reason I could not accomplish my mission was because I
couldn’t trust. Or I felt unworthy. I am beginning to see that it is because I
am still held by this. God always wanted me to die a happy death. All this to
say that I am not simply a bystander, sharing his opinion but not doing
anything. I feel I can offer some insight into the things I know in the time
that has arisen as a result of my late coming. My writings are true. Even
though, at times, I regret writing some of it. God love my abusers. They are
simply misguided by their own feelings and traumas. God love them. I hope to
see you and rejoice with you in heaven when this world is over.
There is a
lot more to this than simply my forgiveness. This is not something I am
withholding from the world. I tell you I have forgiven thousands of times. This
is an incredibly complex issue. I am reaching out for spiritual help. In
the past, I believed I was able to handle this issue on my own. I thought I was
dealing with it. I have tried approaching SD's in the past about this. They
never have much to say about it. Or it's viewed with incredulity. There is a
matter related to many confessions I have made over the past couple of years
that I feel I have omitted. For the past ten years, I have been fairly
comfortable in knowing what God's will is for me. I wrote about it. I was meant
to accept the Spirit of God when He first came to me. I wasn’t able to because
I was in so much pain. God didn’t give up on me. I was meant to offer my life. This was
what was expected of me. Something great was to happen at my death. Please
understand that from the first time I was called to have died, I have been in a
battle with my body. This is why I wrote a little novella in 2012.
When I returned from Florida in 2013, I drove to parks where I was in the Word
for hours each day. When I returned from Iceland, I remember laying in my bed
for an hour before I fell asleep, repeating over and over, ‘I am ready, Lord’.
But I really wasn’t ready. And it isn’t about what you do or say. I sincerely pray that He will be glorified
and that your world will find reason to rejoice. I want you to know that I have
tried very hard. I have not given up hope. Actually I believe very strongly
that what will happen will serve to bring more glory to God. What I am looking
for guidance about is the fact that for these ten years, Jesus visits me. He
has told me a lot. I am not trying to prove these locutions. In time, people
will know. A common word in each vision is that He asks me to open my heart.
There is a whole story behind this. In the past, when I have heard this, I have
stayed up in prayer these nights. Almost every time these visions happen, without
fail, I wake up from deep sleep and disturbed by inculpable sin or I wake and, in
my sleep, I am sinning. Once, I woke after experiencing the voice of Jesus
and next to me, on my night stand, was placed my little Cross on a rope
necklace. My pants were off (I had gone to bed with them on) and folded up and
placed at the end of my bed. It is forced and not conscious on my part. For me,
I have been chastely celibate for almost four years. The reason I understand
that I am having difficulty surrendering to Jesus and His will for me is
because of my relationship with my abusers. Maybe it’s connected to the
activity of my infancy. I am having such difficulty trusting God because in my
developmental years, I got the image in my mind that God did not have my best
interest at heart. I’ve been praying six rosaries a day and keep up two novenas
at a time. Have tried praying the surrender novena a lot. This is about more
than my simple forgiveness.
I know you are testing me. I don’t need to be tested. I know
for your sake, this is the right thing to do. I respect this. I know it must be
frustrating that you’re not getting the results you are expecting. Or rather
hoping for. This will happen. And there are reasons I find it difficult to
conform to this world. What I need is the love I never received as a child.
When Christ came to me, I was a mess, emotionally, physically and spiritually.
I still struggle. But I think I really owe it to myself to stop, look backwards
and see just how far I have come. I need to stop feeling badly about who I am.
I need to stop seeing everything that is bad and negative about me. I need to
recognize that I am a child of God. And that that is paramount to any despair,
any trauma and any failure I could have. God fills the gap. I want this. I want
to live and love. I don’t know how to. I am learning. And I am fighting so
darned hard for the life that I know I deserve. I don’t need love as a reward
for something I’ve done or said. I don’t even need reciprocal love. What I
need, what I crave is unconditional love. There is only one place
from which to get that. What I need is for truth to come out about this. I will
be at peace. But because of
the nature of my experiences, I need to understand human love in addition to
divine love.
I did not want vengeance. I want truth to come out. The
circumstances that arise as a result of truth coming out are not my business. I
have tried a lot to encourage people that you will rejoice when truth comes
out. Without truth, I can forgive. There cannot be true healing without truth.
I have no intention of hurting my abusers. Or anyone else for that matter. All
I have ever wanted is for the truth to come out. I want truth to come out
because of what it means for the world. Still, I wonder why someone might actually want to resist my message.
What would be the motivation for not wanting it to be true? It may be private
revelation. Bur can you really not see how glorious a revelation it is? It will
be a new era of justice, peace, love and hope! When truth comes, you will know
that it’s true.
I suffered the worst darkness you could possibly imagine,
for God, in God. You will see. This is not favoritism. I am no better than any
one of you. I am a terrible sinner. My story is still being revealed to me, unveiling before my eyes. It
feels like I didn’t even really start healing until I unearthed certain
elements of my story. I will not waste words. I’m sorry if I traumatized anyone
in reading my writings about my life. It was hard to get through, I imagine. I
am not trumping trauma. I have healed past the point where I have to prove that
my trauma is worse than everybody else’s. This is really an indicator that a person has only begun their healing. My previous writings sugarcoat what I
really endured. There is a type of evil that is in the world is not really
fathomable to most people’s imaginations. My identity split. Many times. To
cope with very systematic and targeted traumas throughout my childhood. It
began for me, even the rituals, when I was only an infant. You would not
believe what happened if I were to tell you. The good human imagination will
not even go there. It will all be revealed after my passing. This, though
veiled with unspecific language, is the reason why I cannot accept the fullness
of the healing of the Holy Ghost now. I cannot accept the fullness of His love because of
the ritual traumatic programming. I need help. Christians, I need your help.
This is why God blesses me so much. This is why God loves me so much. I endured
this in my infancy for Him. Really, it was something I endured for a very long time. Do you think the rituals and programming stopped after I grew up? My
handlers were still programming me as long as I was around them. Crazy? Me? How
is your memory? This is very real, in spite of the mind’s best attempts to
guard against it. I have been through a lot of healing resources. It makes me
think I have entered a video game. Some of it is so absurd it’s hard to believe
it’s real for me. Jesus can heal me. Jesus will heal me. I need help. Jesus,
save me.
If it were
for the good of world that I be a simple pilgrim for the next decade, you
wouldn’t have the craving to spy on me in my bedroom. You wouldn’t have the
craving to hear about even my minor sins. No, you are only looking to humiliate
me. May the Lord bless you. And keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be
gracious to you. The Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace. You need
really, laity to ask one question. Why are people (even in the Church) fighting
so hard to censor truth? Again, if it were for my own good, for the good of the
world, you wouldn’t have to spy on every single thing I do. Ask the question.
Christians, I need your help. Christians, I need your help.
You can tell me to get a job. Nobody will really give me a
job. I cannot even get factory work. I am not complaining. This all has a very
specific end. I am worried about that end. Because what begins in envy is not
of God. Any money I have made from my books has all been robbed. Somebody is
preventing my new literature from being published. I am not accusing anyone. I
am learning to accept the fact that every new individual I encounter believes
me to be the worst things a human can possibly be because of the mistakes of my
childhood. You think I don't deserve God's blessings because of my sins. I was not raised Christian. Also, wait for the big unveiling. There's a skeleton in everybody's closet. ;) Actually, in spite of this roadblock, I have gone far in writing
very epic pieces of literature and creating a small business of my own. What
can I say? What’s to be done? I am against a terribly large wall.
God showed
me an amazingly beautiful revelation last night regarding myself. He showed me
the state of my soul when I entered the world. I am ashamed to say that for
decades, I viewed myself even with my intentions of entering the world as bad.
God gave me such a beautiful grace in showing me the fact that almost
everything I believed about myself that was negative was a lie. All of this to
say, I was a perfect and beautiful child when I entered this world. Like every
child.
It was wrong of you to
record my deliverance session. It’s wrong of you to record my confessions and
spiritual directions. Even I recognize that this is not a problem on the level
of the priesthood. With something as vulnerable and specific as a deliverance session, you should know that there is a lot more to the story than what was
said in that. Sometimes, even the hardest situations merit the most empathy and
compassion. I have said all of this before. I deserve this for my sins. But
what you have planned is wrong morally. You are listening to a single interview
I gave in an extremely private and vulnerable setting. You are listening to a
prophecy that was written for another time. The only person you are not
listening to is me. I think it’s clear why.
The reason it was wrong
of you to record my deliverance session is the same reason it is always wrong
to record confessions. I believe it is excommunicable. The fact is that I made
myself vulnerable. The decision I made when I was young, I confessed in past
writings. Still, it was a decision that I had made when I was very young. Very
wounded. Emotionally as well as physically. I was not Christian. I pray that my
heart has changed well. I have been to confession countless times about this
particular issue. It happened decade prior to my baptism. Check the audio files
in my archive. ;) Again, I don’t have a light switch on my life. This is not
something that can be forced. Again, I need the love I never received as a
child. This is the reason I am unable to accomplish God’s will.
I am not complaining. I am telling my truth. Truth feels
like the only thing preventing people from hurting me. Truth is the only
leverage I have keeping me safe. This is the reason I keep saying things to
random people. I am frightened that you will hurt me further. Truth is the only
thing preventing that from happening. If it is a sad, disgusting story, I don’t
know what to tell you. If you don’t want to hear it, I don’t know what to tell
you. This is my story.
You have to only ask yourself how Christian and based in
charity this decision is. On the contrary, it seems remarkably cruel. It is not
a wonder that they want to silence me considering what I have against them.
Listen to me very carefully, I am not a threat to your power. What I endured as
a child, I endured because God asked me to. I am who God says I am. Before I
was born, God appointed me and chose me to be His servant. My experiences of
Heaven began before my birth. At least now we know why God blesses me so much.
It is not Christian to try to hurt someone. It is not Christian to provoke bad
in someone to justify even worse behavior. I wonder how a true Christian would
react to hearing that an infant was sold and ransomed by evil people to
satan? That child having grown, who now lives a righteous life and seeks simply
to be consecrated to God. He has eternal life because of the work that he has
done. He has been trying so hard to rid himself of this weight. Seems like
whatever he does, he cannot shake the pact of sorrow. He learns that he
cannot help himself. Is the true Christian’s response going to be to help this
child or provoke this terrible curse placed on him in infancy? I
was an infant. This was these people’s choice. Not mine. Who is deceived? The
one who stands firm to the message of Christ as He instructed and which has
been this way for 2000 years? Or is the one who is deceived and who is
deceiving the one who is trying to compromise Truth of the Faith with modernism
and communism? Two of the biggest heresies of the past. I do not speak heresy.
I speak what is common sense. Modernism, communism in the church? If you feel I
need to be tested, if you feel I need to make reparation for my sin, I will
submit. To me, it seems unbelievably cruel and heartless.
Truth is far more valuable than the actions of any person. Truth is
unoffendable, uncancellable and unphased by things that happen around it. Truth
is truth regardless of whether people subscribe to it or not.
Have had a realization lately. Not to bore you with details
but I have realized that I am split personality. I have DID. I am
self-diagnosing, yes. First of all, I don’t trust the doctors to tell me the
truth about much. Secondly, you know when you know. It explains an awful lot.
Including things that are unexplainable in other conditions. DID incorporates
cPTSD. It explains the amnesia over most of my life. Forgetting how I did
things, ever having conversations, friendships, entire years passed. It
explains the different personalities I possess. It is caused by ritual abuse.
It’s about more than labels. Because I have been forced into passivity and
submission by people when they abuse me, I have a lot of unsaid feelings and
emotions. I asked one of my alters recently what I could do to help him. He
responded that I should take assertiveness lessons. This made a lot click for
me. Realizing that my childhood and the abuse I took then has made me passive
and weak. Ironically, it also seems to have made me target for bullies all
throughout my life. Learning about assertiveness has opened my eyes a lot. I
firmly stand by the fact that the reason I don’t stand up for myself is because
God Himself is going to stand up for me. God has His justice. And He will stand
up for me personally. Publicly. Soon. But the fact is that, I have a voice.
And I owe it to myself to use it. I really believe that God would rather
protect a child from enduring the worst horrors than have him endure them for
the sake of forgiving later. Our God is a good God. He wants us to be happy.
Suffering is not the natural state of things. Nor does God even want us to
suffer. He gives us grace and makes His glory abound even more in our
suffering. Because He is able to make the best of even the worst. You need to
know that God is not a masochist. What has gotten this idea into the Christian
mind? Listen, God wants our happiness. Name of God! That I even have to say
this. Where are your experts? The saints are wonderful examples of piety. They
are examples of ideal faith and holiness. But the lives they lived, do you
really think that God would not have spared them from their anguish were He
able? It is splendidly true that faith grows exponentially stronger in
suffering. Suffering purifies us, in a sense. But it is not the natural state
of things. I know that God only wishes that we would come to know Him and His love without ever having to suffer. The only thing God ever asked of me in my childhood was to tell the
truth about what was happened to me. God resented that my abusers were doing
these things to me. He hated seeing it. He will show you this behavior is
unacceptable.
Regardless of the past, I like my life. I like myself. I love myself. I only want to be happy. I wish I had my wife with me. It seems at every step, I am deprived of good things everywhere. I thought that revealing my identity and what I have endured would help the world. I thought it would help you to be compassionate and understanding. For a time, it did. You surprised me with your goodness. I never anticipated it would come to this. World, remember goodness. Remember compassion. Don't let your hearts grow cold. I should have trusted God from the beginning. I wish I knew how. Christians, once more, I need your help. This will not stop at simple feelings of jealousy. One needs to ask themselves from where this jealousy has its roots. From where is it originating?
God loves you. We have a God who cares infinitely about every human being on this planet. He was the one who crafted you in your ma's womb. He is the one who gave you your beautiful eyes, your conscience and your feelings. He has created you with an infinite array of choices and possibilities. Your future is never set. It is guided. By Him. But we make the choice. Choose love, friends. Choose love.
Tuesday, February 21, 2023
Dear St. Jehanne, dear Jehanne, speak through me.
St. Jehanne is my patron saint and a great and dear friend.
She has helped and encouraged me with incredible graces, comforts and
affirmation, which she has brought to my life, particularly over the last four
years in my journey of discernment as a Catholic Christian. She has helped me
grow so much closer to our Lord Jesus Christ. In preparation for St. Jehanne's
Feast Day (May 30), I encourage all of my friends to pray a novena in her
honor. Her novena begins on May 21 and can be found at the link below! Join me
in bringing honor and glory to our Lord through His patriotic and faithful
maiden. Dear St. Jehanne, what splendid glory you have brought to our Lord! St.
Jehanne, pray for us!
https://www.praymorenovenas.com/st-joan-of-arc-novena#:~:text=Oh%2C%20Jesus%2C%20grant%20me%20the,intercession%2C%20hear%20and%20answer%20me.
Dear St. Jehanne, dear Jehanne, speak through me.
Most Catholics are not given the opportunity to know the
identity of their guardian angels. I have been given a great grace and blessing
in knowing not just my guardian angel who is my patron saint but also one of my
spiritual soul mates. She calls herself Jehanne when she speaks to me. And so I
will do her the honor of addressing her in the way she desires. I fell in love
with the dear Saint decades ago, years before even I became a Christian or a
Catholic. You could say that I have always had a very close relationship to
her. After I was baptized a Baptist Christian, I did not entirely understand
the idea of Confirmation Saints. Still, even at this time, I felt a very strong
bond to St. Jehanne. In spite of this, perhaps out of familiarity and comfort,
I neglected her. I adopted St Christopher as a patron saint while in the years
prior to my becoming Catholic. And then, once I had become Catholic, I found
consolation within the embrace of many different saints. I was experimenting.
Though it was an experimentation that was very fruitful. For some time, I asked
dear St Germaine to protect and guide me. She has been and still is incredibly
supportive. St Bernadette also sought to help me. St Therese, the Little Flower
has, as she says she would, showered me with innumerable graces. I want to
emphasize the fact that saints are our friends. They are not to be feared or
ignored. They are desirous to help and to pray for us. In the slow and drastic
process of my own conversion, many saints have come to my aid. But through it
all, Jehanne D’Arc of Domremy has always been there for me. Since I was a boy,
she was whispering in my ear, calling to me to seek God, comforting me in
trauma and trial, assuring me that things will get better. I know it to be
true. Even though at the time, she did not reveal her identity, I know it was
her.
Still, my relationship as it is now, with dear Jehanne began
only four years ago. It was during my time at a religious community that she
began to communicate with me directly. I will never forget the day that she
told me that she was overjoyed to be my guardian angel. The communication that
I have been receiving in my life has been constant. Throughout my childhood,
the voices were there primarily to comfort me through trauma, through sorrow. I
am convinced that, if we all thought hard and long enough about it, we would –
the lot of us – find that God and His soothing angels spoke to all of us in
childhood with real communication during our more difficult times. Admonishing
us gently for the times we chose sin over Him. Encouraging us when we were
being hurt. But, this is simply a hunch. I had many spiritual experiences
during that coma. But Jehanne, during all of my youth and young adulthood, was
quiet. In terms of direct communication, that is. She awoke within my soul,
within my heart during the first weeks I was at the religious community. Her
voice began quietly and fearfully. I could tell from the beginning that she was
very sad. Still, there was an incredible and vibrant hope in her voice. She
always believed in me. And in spite of her silence, I believe that she has
always been present. She is responsible for bringing my soul into paradise. And
for that grace, I am so grateful. We are united in soul, Jehanne and myself.
And there is no other I would want to usher me home. Every one of us is given a
soul mate in this world. I have been given more than one. This is a grace,
which has been given to me because of my childhood. I am blessed to have
already met several of them. But this is about Jehanne. What she is doing for
me is unspeakably marvelous. There are few words, which could tell of how
compassionate, how docile and wonderful this girl is who I have come to know.
This is about a young girl. A humble girl who offered her very life for her
beliefs. One who offered everything for her God. One who was as human as the
next, one who listened to music (she tells me the music she listened to does
not exist any longer – but that it was fast and pleasant to dance to) – and one
who loved life as much as any other beautiful child of God. I became Catholic
late in my life. At my Confirmation, I was not given Confirmation Saint. During
my time at the religious community, my Spiritual Director prayed for me to
accept Jehanne as my special patron.
So, this is not really an essay. It’s not really an article.
I am simply writing. I will say, I did a bit of research about her life in
preparation of writing this. I will do my best to source the material of my
research. You must know that the research of my heart began years ago. I am
simply doing as I have been instructed. In faith. Knowing that someday, you
will see just how incredibly precious this woman truly was. In the time I spent
at this community, one of the members recommended me to read Mark Twain’s novel
about her life. I picked it up as quickly as I was able. In spite of the
incredibly small amount of free time we had there, I consumed this novel very
quickly. It was an incredible read. For me, reading this book animated the
saint even more than the movies, which were made about her. For me, the book
really emphasized her humanity. In this book, Twain writes a beautiful and
powerful scene that is etched into my memory and heart. Apparently, he wrote
the scene thinking of his own young daughter. The scene tells that Jehanne
encountered some of the French soldiers under her capturing an enemy. The
soldiers strike him a deadly blow while she is looking on. She is so distressed
by this that she runs over, admonishes the soldiers and with this enemy’s head
in her lap, mourns and sobs him to his death. For me, this scene truly captures
the truth that Jehanne was simply a young girl. I hope to show, through
integrated research, a general comparison of the lives of Jesus, our Lord and
Saint Jehanne, as well as through personal revelation, that Jehanne is one of
Church’s greatest of possessions and saints. That she always has been. I pray
that Jehanne will come to be heralded with the praise, honor and glory that she
truly merits. My assumption is that while you are reading this, you are familiar
with the story of dear Jehanne.
What greater way for me to begin this piece than with a
juxtaposition of the lives of Jesus our Lord and Joan the Maid of Orleans? For
me at least, to me, the stories are impeccably similar. Worthy of investigating
and contemplating further. To me, it’s easy to see the relationship between the
mission of Jehanne of Arc and Jesus the Christ. The glory that our Lord brought
forth with His life is alive and active. So much so that the Church makes the
certain statement, in faith, that He is alive today. The Eucharist is veritably
and truly the body and blood, soul and divinity of His being. And the Mass, in
its proper form, is veritably and truly the spiritual re-enactment of the
completeness of His life, His birth, culminating in His death. Jehanne also
brought glory to God with her life and death. However true this may be,
Jehanne’s legacy was not received with as much vigor and wonder. It’s almost as
if a force wanted to erase her from existence. As though, to acknowledge her
greatness would in a way, acknowledge the capacity within ourselves to do the
same thing over and over. Darkness wants to hide Truth. Darkness made the Jews
of Christ’s time say, ‘We have no king but Caesar!’ in spite of the fact that
the people had been asking God for a king to lead them for millennia. Darkness
made the crowd ask Jesus, literally moments after He had fed the five thousand,
what miracle He could do to prove His authority. Light endures. Love endures.
Through it all, light conquers the darkness. Both the life of our Lord and the
life of His maid in France served as the catalyst for dire and essential change
in the world. The change that Jesus brought to the world is evident in the
institution of the formation of the largest religion in the world, gathering
the hearts of the faithful into this one, special place. At first glance, it
may be easy to miss or overlook the impact that Jehanne’s life had. For me at
least, when I was growing up, I definitely saw her for her faith and love in
conviction. I never really knew the greater political-religious impact that she
had through the mission that she was sent upon. With a bit of examination, one
can begin to see the fact that without Jehanne, at precisely the time at which
she arrived in France, the ideas of Catholicism and God Himself may have been
eliminated from the social realm of Europe entirely. This is a fact that I, as
a child, never even considered. I was not instructed about this when I learned
about history’s greatest saint. How Jehanne turned influenced and saved the
French nation is clear. At a time when the city of Riems, the site of regal
crowning and ordination, was under control by the English, for Charles VII to
be crowned as king was still impossible. As appointed by God to see the French Dauphin
crowned, she was successful after a number of very successful battles. With
this Riems was recaptured and Charles VII crowned King of France. The secularism
and atheism of the time that were becoming socially dominant were evident in
English politics. Here I offer no evidence or source. I simply was instructed
to make this statement in faith that its purpose will be made clear. I posit
that the global impact Jehanne had was not only socio-political. The events of
her death also served as a wake-up call for people. At the time of her death,
words were heard from the crowd along the vein, ‘May God have mercy on us for
we are murdering a saint.’ Jehanne’s life – and death – stirred up the hearts
of people. Once again, in the face of creeping atheism and secularism, Jehanne
illustrated to Europe, to the world that love is greater. It is also evident,
through this stirring of the heart, how Jehanne reclaimed Religion for love.
The very cold nature of the trial itself illustrates the spiritual apathy and Pharisee-istic
behavior of those who conducted them. Is it possible that God utilized this
young girl to show us this fact? That religion has its place in love. Not
condemnation. For our Lord Himself says, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice’.
God chose St Jehanne to evangelize to a world that was
losing its faith. To me, Jehanne’s word to the Church and its leaders is as
important today as it was at the time of her mission. That word is ‘God must
first be served’. And in this evangelization, there is evidence of another similarity
between the lives of our Lord and the Maid. The mission of Jesus the Christ was
always for the people. His desire was to show them God. To show them the love
of God even at a point when, for every other person, there would no longer be
any recourse to love. Jesus’ mission was to illustrate that God’s love is
endless. But, so is His justice. Jehanne’s life was a reminder of this.
Mutually, Jehanne’s mission was for the people. I am tempted almost to compare
Jehanne to the divine family in that she was essentially immaculate. Yes, she
was born in sin, as all else. But, her heroic virtue and chastity are evidence
of this sinless nature. Witnesses at her rehabilitation, years following, would
tell the truth of her life. They told of how she ensured that the soldiers
under her care would always receive the sacraments. They told of her nearly
impossible chastity and maintained purity in impossible circumstances. Jehanne’s
life proves that God speaks and acts through anyone He wishes. Whether it be a
simple, humble carpenter, a young maid, born in Jerusalem and consecrated from
birth to the Lord. The lives of the prophets, which serve to remind us,
pointing us toward Jesus, illustrate that direct communication with God is not
only possible but quite common. God is not some distant entity. He desires
abundantly to be a part of our world as though He were one of us. It’s really
quite beautiful: God’s desire to interact with us. He desires to participate in
our world like He were a member of our family. Of course, the best illustration
of this would be the fact that, after sending prophet after prophet, He decided
to come to earth Himself. This direct communication is strongly evident in the
life of dear Jehanne. As Jehanne herself once said, ‘Of course God speaks to me
through my imagination. How else would He speak to me?” God reveals Himself to
whom He chooses. Though, it takes an act of faith to believe them when they
speak. The faith of a child. Let us not condemn or belittle people for speaking
to God. As Jehanne herself also says, “Why are you punishing me for talking to
God?” In order to actively participate within the world He created, God chooses
vessels, chosen instruments through which He lavishes graces. This concept is
not new. Nor is it void because we are living in New Testament times. God chose
Paul to proclaim His Word. Merited, the Church is the new vessel through which
divinity and the spiritual are contemplated, spoken and interpreted. Even
Jehanne never challenged the authority of God’s priests. As is evident in the
life of St Jehanne D’Arc, at times, the world, even the Church needs some help.
A point in the right direction.
I wonder what would have been an appropriate response from
Church authorities during Jehanne’s time. Of course, religious leaders have a
grave responsibility to guard and preserve faith. In no way is this an insult
against even the leaders of Jehanne’s time. On the contrary, their plight must
be easily sympathized with. However, it was the same during the days of our
Lord. I fain, it’s almost as though, in spite of overwhelming evidence and even
miracles, the guard of only a few of these defenders became even more rigid.
What is the ultimate purpose of the Church Militant but to discern the true will
of God? With this in mind, should not leaders be concerned ultimately with
love? Not power, not envy, not authority. I would wonder what the world would
look like had the Church recognized her greatness when she was alive. It should
be noted here that in fact, the Church Militant did recognize her greatness at
Poitiers when an ecclesial, Catholic assembly asserted that her revelations
were indeed from God. Somehow, I think, even in the case that the Church had
recognized her greatness, she would have submitted to the Church and to world
authorities. She was not really a threat to the Church or to France. In fact,
she was always obedient to the Church. Except about her revelations. For
Jehanne, what she stood for was always greater than simply power or authority.
She wanted to do the right thing. She simply wanted to do the will of God. My
words are not a condemnation against anyone. However, maybe Jehanne teaches us
that when authority is corrupt, we need not obey this authority. Again, it’s
not a loaded statement. Jehanne submitted and obeyed even though her true
obedience lay with Christ alone. Jehanne is the only saint who was ever both
condemned by the Church and then canonized. This is a thought collected from a
couple of sources in my research. And, this thought is significant because it
contains within itself the greatest similarity between her life and the life of
the Lord. Both Jehanne and our Lord were condemned to death by the religious
authorities and later, recognized for their greatness. They kind of stand alone
in their spiritual enormity. They are both beacons of enormous light. This
similarity between them contains the proof of her greatness. Her authority was
always higher than anything on earth.
The life of this dear saint illustrates the sinfulness of
man. It is an inherited trait. One of which, for the same reason, God Himself,
as He hung upon a cross, uttered the words, ‘Forgive them for they do not know
what they are doing’. To a degree, we are all less culpable for even our worst
sins than human justice desires it to be. At the same instant, we must be aware
that while we cannot always know fully the weight of our actions, we do not all
choose God. We are all born as children of God. But not everyone chooses God.
Jehanne’s life is a perfect reminder and strong illustration of this fact. Even
while, indeed, much has changed. Within the Church, within the influence of
people’s hearts toward an inclination of love. This is where God is glorified.
In that love. This is a strange paradox, I think. Jehanne’s life was an
illustration that just because you lead a holy life, doesn’t mean life will be
good. This realization holds poignant significance for me. For one as sinful as
I, who once nurtured and allowed to fester the belief that because I was living
for God, I somehow deserved a good life. Merited, it is true that God desires
all of us to have good, glorious and happy lives. Because of that original sin,
it is evident that darkness seeks to extinguish the light. And life will not
always be pleasant. But God makes good use of even the most sorrowful
conditions. Like the burning of a young girl at the stake. Praise God for the
fact that He is known for turning tables. In spite, Jehanne’s life and
testimony offers a brief glimpse into the heart of God. Her life shows with
firm and strongest conviction that love triumphs over darkness and evil. This
is a sharp argument, no mistaking. It is reason for us always, every one of us,
to see to be on the side of love. It is a reason for us to come to acknowledge
the state of our souls before God in their natural state. That sin separates us
from a completely Holy God. There is one bridge between us and God, even in the
presence of this sinfulness. That bridge is Jesus, through the Church. Jehanne’s
life, like that of the Lord’s, was offered as atonement, in love. ‘What greater
love can one have, than to lay down his life for his friends?’ Jehanne’s life
is a renewal of Christ’s love. It is more than that. Jehanne’s life is as a
Christ-like figure. Her sacrifice is truly Christ-like. Entirely to show the
love of God.
The movies I have seen about her life do not fully
illustrate Jehanne’s greatness. In that, I was able to receive the most
emotional connection from Twain’s rendition. I have always been troubled with
movie portrayals of Jehanne being proud. In point of fact, this was an argument
used against her in her trials. In point of fact, if Jehanne was sinfully proud
– if she were at all sinful – it mitigates some of the blame and even maybe
justifies the methods used against her. If she was sinful, she in a small way,
merited the force used against her. No. The fact is that Jehanne was not proud
and remained sinless (I choose here not to say immaculate) until the day of her
death. This is a reason why she dreaded that she had lost her state of grace
because she was disobedient to the spirits when she tried to escape
confinement. I cannot even imagine how scared she must have been. Who could
blame her for seeking a way of escape? She has revealed to me directly the
circumstances of her confinement. There is no sin there on her part. She has
also told me directly that she was indeed proud. But that it was not in the way
her accusers made it sound. She was proud in God. And it is not sinful to be
proud of a truth ordained by God.
Then, comes the matter of her miracles that she performed.
Another manner in which the life of our Lord and that of the Maid’s life are
similar is found in the truth that each performed witnessed miracles of healing
and of nature. The miracles of our Lord are recorded in the Holy Bible – within
the Gospels. If you are reading this and you have not read the Holy Bible, I’ll
tell you, it is a perfect place to begin. I also began my journey to faith by
reading and meditating on the Holy Word of God. I find it almost remarkable
that the miracles that Jehanne performed are not as well-known as they ought to
be. One would think, after hearing of her deeds, they would be as legend as
those of any other remarkable Biblical figure. Our Lord says, ‘Those who come
after me, will perform greater deeds than the miracles that I perform’. Jehanne
is a great example of the fulfillment of this quotation. I will be brief here
because, in my research, I was not able to capture substantial information
about some of these exploits. When one thinks of the life of St Jehanne, in
terms of the miracles she gave, the most well-known example might be how, after
being lost for a time that would have forgot itself, she rediscovered a sword.
The location of this sword, belonging to her own patron saint, was revealed to
her through divine revelation. Without this particular insight of the location
of the item, it would have been literally impossible for her to locate it.
Next, of course, is the almost genius military knowledge that she possessed. The
key point in this, is that she never studied. This wisdom was given to her from
somewhere, from something. What else could that something be if not the Holy
Ghost Himself?
Because of her faith, she was truly a wonder of God.
Jehanne’s conviction and faith were what legends are made of. Truly, the faith
of this girl was beyond that of any other figure that comes to mind. Thinking
of her, one is tempted to conjure images of Moses, having the audacity to
believe that he could part the sea with his staff. The image of Elijah, when
defending the God of Israel against the sorceresses of Baal, having the belief
that he could command fire from heaven. Or the image of David possessing the
otherworldly courage to challenge a Nephilim to a fight to the death. As a note
here, Goliath was indeed a Nephilim. Movies, while they try their best, cannot
possibly capture the truth of how large these creatures were compared to human
beings. Anyways, regarding these Biblical figures and their faith, where does
their strength come from? It cannot come from themselves. Had David trusted in
his own strength, I am afraid the outcome of the story may have come out
differently. This strength comes through faith in the One who can make all
things possible. Jehanne, like an Old Testament prophet, trusted in her God.
This faith offers a lesson. Perhaps, the greatest lesson that her life does serve
to offer. Jehanne, through her childlike belief and conviction for truth and
that through God, all things are possible, makes the words of Jesus absolute
and unavoidable and undeniable. These words of Jesus are the words that, ‘If
you have faith, you can uproot a mountain and tell it to go to the sea.’
Jehanne’s life demonstrates that through God everything can be done. In fact,
it’s almost the culmination and perfection of this statement of our Lord’s.
From my perspective at least. The faithful of God, in Truth, have been proving
this fact for the world – as testimony – since the creation of the world. Jesus
says, “Even if you choose not to believe me, how can you choose not to believe
in the works that I do through my Father?” In the name of God, again, she was
simply a young girl, with zero training. She was simply a girl who believed
that God could make it happen. She was simply a girl, who through her
conviction and faith, was able to impart that same charisma to a weary and
tired army demoralized by enemy oppression and a dreadful loss at Agincourt
some fourteen years earlier. Faith must be placed in action. Indeed, it is not
a Biblical saying but Jehanne herself says it. There is immense truth in her
words when she says, “Act and God will act.” Jehanne teaches the need to pray
at all times. As well as the effect of praying at all times.
I found, in my humble and simple research, some references
to the fact that Jehanne even influenced nature during battle. Even more
astonishing, I found reference to the fact that she was believed to be the
reason that a baby, dead for some three days, returned to life so that it could
be baptized. These are her own words regarding the event, which support their
historical accuracy: "I was told that the girls of the town were gathered
before the statue of our Lady and wanted me to come and pray to God and our
Lady to bring a baby back to life. So I went and prayed with the others. And
finally life appeared in him, and he yawned three times. Then he was baptized,
and soon afterwards he died, and was buried in consecrated ground. For three
days, I was told, he had shown no signs of life, and he was as black as my
jacket. But when he yawned his color began to come back. And I was on my knees
there with the other girls, praying before our Lady." What an incredible
miracle! Surely, the miracle is as attributable to the other women praying at
the site. But, with the grace that had been given to Jehanne, it is hard not to
connect the event to her presence. What greater evidence do we require to
estimate the holiness of this beloved Maiden? This is a miracle, which unites
her to near-divinity, under our Lord. What man has ever heard that dead tissue
could return to life? It is unfathomable. On the contrary. With God, all things
are possible.
Jehanne’s life demonstrates, through nearly impossible
circumstances that chastity and purity are essential for the health of the
soul. In the face of threat and violence, I imagine that Jehanne is the
strongest example of saintly chastity and purity that we, as the Church
possess. St. Dymphna may be a runner up. But, Jehanne’s life shows that purity
from the world is a virtue to be nurtured, honored and valued. Her life also
illustrates the incredible and remarkable effect that chastity and purity have.
I find myself wondering, would this dear saint have been able to accomplish the
feats that she did, had she not remained pure? A similar figure comes to mind
in another young maiden, consecrated from birth to the Lord, betrothed to a
carpenter, who was found with child before the marriage date. Would Mary have
been in a disposition to carry the Son of God, had she not been completely pure
and set aside? A point of Truth, it was because of her purity and nurtured
chastity that she was given the grace to accomplish this. As with Jehanne, I
simply wonder whether her purity was a state of grace, which positioned her in
a place to receive the countless graces she merited. She is much more than a
sexual and gender symbol. Though, I believe strongly that she would be honored
to be considered a role model for any one group or people, we must not ignore
the very strict faith and purity of this saint. “But to call Joan
proto-feminist because she transgressed gender norms is like saying that David
and Goliath is really about the virtue of child soldiers.” The American
Conservative. The life of the saint demonstrates with perfection, the
importance as well as the nearly miraculous effect of remaining pure. I, the
author, can personally attest to this. I really only began healing from my own
wounds once I had chosen complete chastity.
Jehanne has perhaps the most enthusiastic and charismatic
‘yes’ to the call of God since Our Lady. The most overlooked and important
aspect of Jehanne’s life was that she was chosen by God. Above all else.
However, her call, her life illustrates what it means to be called by God. What
it means to be chosen by God. Yes, God desires our glory. In this glory, He
Himself is glorified. If God’s will were unopposed, I really believe that every
one of us would be living the happiest, glorious lives we could possibly
imagine. We must remember that an enemy is prowling about the earth, searching
for souls to devour. All the more reason to armour up. Jehanne revealed
something else to me last night. I feel in a way, it was kind of a gentle
rebuke against me. ‘Never forget the reason that people are chosen by God. This
is to show people that He loves them.’ She said this to me as I went to bed. After,
I reflected upon the words. They carried a deep meaning for me. Truth has
always been of paramount value to me. Even at the expense of love. I have even
coined a phrase (I don’t remember having heard it prior) that without love,
truth is harsh. But without truth, love is foolish. Love and truth go hand in
hand. Without one, the other ceases to exist. They almost possess a symbiotic relationship.
But it’s true, isn’t it? What would the love of God be if He were not to uphold
justice as well? The concept of an absolutely loving God is idolatry. To ignore
God’s wrath is as to ignore His mercy. If there is no standard to which we are
living, what would He need to have mercy for? Alas, thanks be to God, for His love
(and mercy) are abundant. But isn’t this is the reason Jesus came to Earth? To
bring justice for His little ones. To bring justice for His beautiful ones like
Jehanne. This world, tainted by sin, does not always reward faith and love.
Even amongst those who consider themselves religious. Jehanne was perhaps the
next best example to our Lord of how darkness seeks to extinguish the light of
life. Even through this, the beautiful girl’s heart remained untouched by the
flames. She has the victory. Still, I think we often forget Jehanne’s humanity.
We often forget, as though it were possible, that she was simply a very young
girl. And perhaps the greatest argument used against her during her trial by
her accusers, that she was simply a poor and ignorant girl, serves itself as
God’s greatest argument that through faith all things are possible. Jehanne’s
life is probably the most poignant example of how God chooses to use the weak,
lowly and humble to confound the strong and powerful.
Jehanne is a beacon of light in the world. She is a source
of angelic light. The heart of this girl was so cherished that it was ensured
that it was untouched by the flames that engulfed her. In the Kingdom of
Heaven, she is among – she is one of – the greatest. Do you know why this is?
Yes, she was a holy and sanctified martyr. Yes, she was as pure as light from
the midday sun. Her greatness is in her faith. In her obedience to the Lord
Himself. What a degree of faith? Alas, her mission belonged to her and her
alone. No one else could have accomplished it. I thank my God every moment for
sending a post-Christ symbol of Christ in Jehanne and now for the awesome and
incredible glory I see her crowned with in her proper place. Where she is at
home. Let us seek to honor her on earth as she is in the Kingdom of Heaven! Let
us offer her a more perfect vindication. The vindication that she deserves.
This is not an invocation to worship Jehanne or any other of
the saints as gods. But by the name of God, man, we need to learn to give honor
as it is due. Honor and even providing glory for His saints and martyrs hardly
detracts from glory and honor offered to our Lord. On the very contrary, it is
precisely because He is a good older brother – unlike the brother in the parable
of the prodigal son – that He desires those who have also attained glory to be
honored. Jesus is much less selfish than we believe. I personally believe that
He is hurt when thousands of saints come to Him and few people on Earth blink.
If only due to the ignorance that they were, in fact, saints! I am a very proud
and firm Traditional Catholic, myself. I suppose the most unique difference of
my own personal faith compared to the Faith I possess is that Traditional
Catholicism is quite guarded and reserved in the sanctity of sainthood. There
is value of Truth in this, certainly. Who am I? I possess no authority. I feel
still, that if anything, the world needs more saints! I was reflecting in faith
last night, about the children who are used by terrorists who strap bombs to
them, sending them into crowded places. The dears’ simple and trusting love,
just do as they are instructed. How could an adult ever possess the capacity to
deceive them? Or to hurt them? Jesus. The horror. I wish I could get another
glimpse of Heaven so that I could see these children seated in some high places
of honor. For the children always see the face of God. The capacity for
sainthood is endless. Our search for them should be endless as well. To glorify
God! Can’t you see?! Simply imagine a world where saints were cherished,
treasured and emulated instead of celebrities… Indeed, the saints have their
glory in Heaven. They have the great honor – and what honor could be greater? –
of having heard the Lord say to them ‘Well done, good and faithful servant’.
But, why would not the Lord desire His good victors to receive the honor they
merit? On earth as it is in Heaven. It’s kind of tantamount to spiritual sadism
to deprive those saints of their wages. Don’t you think? I am not suggesting we
celebrate each of them daily. I am not suggesting we create new forms of the
Mass for them. Name of God. Just that we praise them, when it is fitting and
right, for the work they accomplish for the Kingdom. Celebrate their lives!
It’s kind of a purpose of this article. I am sorry if this work seemed pointed
or critical of anyone. Particularly the religious leaders. It’s not my
intention to criticize. It’s simply what’s on my heart. And what the saint
speaks to me. I know she loves this world with a burning love. I sense that she
is concerned for the direction it is taking. Sometimes, telling the truth is
the most loving thing someone can do for you. This is the purpose of this
article: To remind you that giving honor where it is due, which is a
rudimentary concept of social physics, does not have to detract glory and honor
from the Lord. If the statement ‘give honor where it is due’ is applicable on
Earth with the people of Earth, how much more reasonable should it be for those
on Earth in reference to those who have already won their race? If you think
about it, why wouldn’t we honor those who have won? In fact, is it not
contained within this truth the salvation of our culture? Of our world? Years
ago, I wrote a novella, entitled “Producing Reality”. I also wrote an
accompanying explanatory essay detailing why I wrote it. In the novella, (a
genius satire, if I may say so), I illustrate the effect of mirroring and
scripting of entertainment onto the culture. It is a simple thought. In the
past millennia, who did people emulate? Who did they admire and seek to
idolize? In century, millennia past, those objects of emulation were prophets,
saints and social heroes like scientists or artists. In our culture at the
moment, what we have is that our young are shown idols in movie actors and
Hollywood celebrity and sports stars. This is not a spite against them. They
are good at what they do. We must still ask, what is the long term effect this
will have upon our culture? When children emulate gangsters and criminals
because they are given the illusion of respectability or macho-ism, what effect
will this have? Children need good models and heroes to emulate. It’s very
simple. What greater place for heroes to be found than within both the Bible
and the Book of the Saints? Jehanne, here, I am trying to prove, holds a place
even higher than these. This does not serve to detract from the glory of even
these. On the very contrary, the glory that we learn to offer one, serves to
glorify the others. And certainly, the glory we offer the one, serves to
glorify the Head. Who is Jesus Christ. Let us honor Jehanne on earth, with the
same honor she possesses in the Kingdom of Heaven. It’s for and within our
Lord, anyways.
Jehanne had me write out a very brief message that she has
for people. I’m not asking you to believe. But Lord, show it to be true. I
desire God to be glorified. But yes, I do desire Jehanne to be glorified so
that our Lord can be glorified. This is what the beloved saint has to say: “I
want people to know that I was only a young girl. The life and death I had,
show how deeply original sin is rooted in the heart of people. I had a lot
ahead of me. I had a lot of potential. Through the sacrifice of my body, God
tried to show you how much He loves you. It was a renewal of the Cross. He
wanted to remind you that love is greater than sin. We are all given an
opportunity in life. We live by faith. I, too, was sent by Heaven. My cross was
lighter than the Lord’s. Offer your suffering. It is of immense value. My
mission was for France. Jesus also came strictly for the Jews. My mission, like
that of Jesus, was really for the world. I want to tell you about the
importance of purity. While it is an honor to be considered a hero by anyone, I
want to tell you how important chastity is. Marriage is good. That is pleasing
to God. Me, I was never given that grace. I would have if I could have. I did
not want to die. But God’s will is the most important thing. I am not sad that
I did die so young. The life I lived was lived for God. The death I died was
glorious. It was seen as glorious from Heaven. From your side, what you saw was
frightening. Do not be sad. Instead, praise God for my life. Learn from these
holy examples you have in the saints. I wish people to know that I loved my
tormentors. I prayed for them even as I was dying. I would have been so very
small and simple if God had not made me into who I was. My heart is on fire for
the world. It breaks my heart to see things the way they are. Always remember
that leaders have responsibility for the people they lead. Jesus was the
perfect leader because He loved His followers. It’s what I came to show
Charles. Thanks God, in time, with time, Charles learned that. God loves you
all very much. It breaks His heart to see the world in the state it is in as
well. Keep faith that He will turn things around. My life, though I did not
necessarily want it to be, acts as a warning. Many of those who had wronged me
saw how they were wrong even hours after. I am sad. My only real and true
desire in my life, and now, from Heaven, is to see Christ in His proper place
as king of this world. It was not only Charles I came to crown. Because of me,
Christ and Catholicism were restored to European life. Had this not have
happened, Europe would have been lost. God saw this. He willed a different
course. A similar thing is happening today. I simply pray that God will step in
and show you truth. God will never give up on anyone of you while life remains
in your spirit. In our lives, in our nations and in our world. But even in the
Church, if He is not wholeheartedly served, that path grows crooked. God must
be first served. Have faith. God will never let you down. He never let me down.
God’s reward is so much greater than any that the tempter could pretend to offer.
It is never too late to cry out for mercy. But that decision is yours. My heart
is on fire for the truth. I pray that – I know that – God will show you truth.
Real Truth. This will happen when He makes clear the intentions and end of the
hearts of men and women. I did not really get to live a life of my own. In this
I am connected to you (Here she was speaking of me, Jonathan). My life was
entirely in service to God. Because of this, I am glad. But I do hope that God
will give me another life. If He were to, I would give to Him and serve Him
even more. To God be the glory!”
Sources:
The Holy Bible,
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Saint-Joan-of-Arc
Mark Twain – Joan of Arc: A Novel,
https://www.mysticsofthechurch.com/2015/06/the-unique-spiritual-events-in-life-of.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfEaMg_mDSA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=paut8nZagK0
https://www.theamericanconservative.com/the-real-joan-of-arc/