Message of Hope:

I bring you great news. I bring you great news from the heart of your Father. From the heart of Jehovah. Be ye still. Be ye firm. Know that your rescuer comes. Like a swooping eagle, he descends upon the earth. Know that now, according to the prophets is a time of great excitement. There is much joy among the angels today in heaven. They rejoice now even louder than before. For the time of fulfillment comes to fruition. The time of magnitude and culmination of creation. Truly, the entire universe has been waiting in trepidation for this moment. The world has been groaning as with growing pangs for this very moment. True, sin is greater now than even in the time of Noah! I bring you great news, my friends. Where sin lurks, grace abounds even more! The angels rejoice in heaven at every saved soul that harkens to the cry of God. The question is, amidst this sin and shame, will you harken to His cry? He awaits your answer. The one who crafted you in your mother’s womb, the one who knows intimately each sun and star and moon and galaxy in the universe is also the one who knows intimately every hair on your head. Be brave, dear friends. Be bold. Difficult times lurk at the door for the true flock. I admonish you, Christ not I, do not follow the ways of this world. For times shall come, when the popular church will deviate and teach a counterfeit message. This message that will be taught, following the popular and the modern, will stand in the face of the true message. Know that Jehovah’s true flock, His little sheep, will heed His voice. The voice of the true Shepherd. Know that He will gather you into His embrace, as a mother hen, gathers her chicks into her torso, warming them, caring for them. Protecting them. Know that regardless of how difficult things become in this world, if you stay faith and are brave and maintain your faith, you will live to see the true blessings of God. These blessings He has in store for us are truly beyond our wildest comprehension. No human imagination can fathom the depths of the riches and blessings that He has prepared for us. You, at this time, my dear flock, need to work on building a fortress within yourself. I am hard. I am strict. I try to justify it. Perhaps it’s a quality many have lacked in their formations these days. For what is love, without discipline? Know that I am prepared, even in the state I am in, to be crushed by your envious leaders for these children. Afterwards, the time for the real men to shepherd will arise. I would not be a responsible shepherd if I were to tell you that things are going to be well. You need build your faith, friends. Merited, the restoration that will come shall be a little heaven. It shall be more glorious than any era of mankind since the dawning of creation. Hold this hope. Know that even if things become difficult, after a while, after some time, you will be rewarded. Your faiths shall be rewarded. I need you to know that I am learning what it is to love. Love is worth fighting for. Friends, you are a beautiful people. Church, my beautiful Church. I do not speak to the Catholics, the Witnesses, the Baptists, I do not speak to any particular grouping. I speak to you who believe in love. I speak to you who are truly dependant upon your Heavenly Father. You will receive the encouragement and blessing and reward for your faith that you need. You may not need it. Some will. You will see Jehovah like a lion defending the innocent and righteous. You will see Him literally take His stance at your side. World, my other flock, know that help comes. You have been fed lies since the dawning of creation to keep you in line. Know that there will soon be healing. You will soon be liberated from these lies and methods of enslavement. You will soon be free. Free and in control of your own destiny. It will sting. After the sting, healing will set in like a balm from Jehovah. If Jesus can heal leprosy, He can heal any kind of sin that you have hidden in your consciousnesses. Be bold. Be strong. Be courageous. In that day, all the world will be brought to its knees. You will see your reality before God. You may approach this thought with complacency at this time. Know you will not have a choice. You will be brought low. Because for a brief moment in time, you will view the world, and everything in it, with pure love. You will see your actions, words and inactions and thoughts through the eyes of God. It will be a great pain for some. Some will die. Be bold. Be courageous. Know that Jehovah’s justice is perfect. The evil garbage, to you Jehovah says, you who are powerful in this world, let your knees tremble and let your faces aghast in horror. For what is prepared for you is worse than what has been prepared for the cities of Sodom and Gommorah. You evil, wicked monsters. Who instructed you to flee from the wrath that comes? In the day of judgement, even your baptisms will not bear weight. Jehovah sees the hidden parts of your hearts. He shall expose them. And in your humiliation, you shall tremble and bow to your true King. You sure are very powerful people. Before Jehovah, your power is laughable. I speak to no man personally. Your hearts will be your judges. But I offer you great hope. There is still time! Be humbled. Be prostrate. Be children. For with your worldly power that you wield so carelessly now you will be held to great accountability. It’s not too late. Repent! Use your power to help the children. The vulnerables. You have hope now. For Jehovah Himself has descended to the earth to tell you to repent. For the time of true judgement is set. You shall all be judged by your works. Here is the great thing! It truly does not matter what you have done in your lives. With Jehovah, now is the chance to be made completely new. Listen: Our hearts, our inner children, our spirits, guide our path and Jehovah guides our steps. We can change our path if we want to. Let us build friendship with Him today, friends. For then, nothing will be able to come against us. It is a choice that we shall all need make. Know this: regardless of the choice we make, this judgement comes. Be warned. Very soon, you will see your sins. You will see your shame. Stuff you cannot remember. Be strong. Be courageous. It will sting. As with leprosy, sin covers us. Every single one of us. Even your pope. Even in his vocation. But, remember Jesus has the capacity to not only heal our leprosy and sin. He has the capacity to restore anything that was lost because of it. Be bold, faithful. True help… True encouragement and justice comes. It waits at the door. But you need do your part. Repent. Begin by taking twenty minutes of the day. Read the Bible. Reflect on what you read. Build on that. Your King comes soon. Be bolstered. Be warned.

The Healing that Comes!

1 Co. 4:3-5: For I am not conscious to myself of anything: yet am I not hereby justified, but He that judges me is the Lord. Therefore judge not before the time, until the Lord come: Who both will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and will make manifest the counsels of the hearts: and then shall every man have praise from God.

This is the issue. It has literally always been the issue. Affecting the earth. It’s the reason you are all lost in your pain. This world, our culture is hurting, friends. I am hard on you. I know your potential. I know the potential of this world. Look, my sin is grievous. I am a terrible person. What you need to know is that God declares me righteous. You need to know that this same grace is accessible for you. Jehovah desires you to have it. This poor world, friends. You have all been through so very much. This is the issue: people shaming people. You cannot even tolerate hearing me talk about it. Because of what it invokes in you. You cannot listen to me speak about shame. I wrote a beautiful piece about it. You cannot read it because of what it inspires in you. It brings you back to your childhood. Healing comes. Like a swooping eagle. I am sure you have noticed – it is no secret – that my tone with which I speak to you has intensified over the past couple of years. My friends, there is a sense of urgency I am feeling. As time is growing short. God’s judgement approaches quickly. I want to prepare you. I see this world for what it could be. It is so difficult for me to watch as your leaders sell you out, leading you like sheep to the slaughter. This is what it’s about. I know my sin is grievous. Here’s the thing: It does not belong to me. Psychology is not heresy. Some of it may be. But where there is common sense, all you need do is open your eyes. And your heart. Sure, without compassion, without seeing the human being as a living and breathing creature with feelings and the capacity to be hurt and injured, psychology seems simply science. Cold, hard, dead science. Seen with a heart, are human beings. Not robots. And any theology, which ignores it might as well be from a science textbook as well. So, Christians, do you believe that I am proclaiming some vastly foreign truth to gospel by stating that children deserve care? Well, in terms of theology, the satanists are more advanced than you. You can trust that they know. It’s the reason they attack them. Here’s the point: God changes you. From the inside out. I cannot explain it myself. You know it’s true. I say this with sensitivity: Who can accuse me of sin for the past five or six years? I say it with sensitivity because I recognize your bitterness is still very active against me. Here’s the thing: I can’t help being hardened. It’s how I was raised. But in terms of sin, my conscience is clear. What you believe me to be sinning, is feelings. Nothing more than feelings. Here’s the thing: When you are changed from the inside out, you no longer desire to shame others. This is the issue: parents shaming children, teachers shaming children, employers shaming adult children. This is deeper. It’s the reason our culture is so decidedly wounded. It’s the reason we have developed stolkhome (I don’t have a clue how to spell that) syndrome regarding the cultures that desire to conquer us. It is written in the end, things will get worse and worse. This is not reason to slit our throats. Crazy white people holding a loaded gun to their heads. That my sins have been revealed, is a blessing of sorts. I have been given the chance to heal that. When the great awakening happens, many, many of the world’s secret sins shall be revealed as well. This will happen when my truth is revealed. I do not say this as a condemnation. The Church’s sins will be revealed as well. Before I began to remember what happened to me, it’s as though my consciousness was in a little bubble. It was protecting me. Even when I remembered the sins commit against me, for many years, I also did not remember how I sinned myself. God reveals these memories as He will, in His time. Here’s the point: it doesn’t matter how morally right we believe we are to be with God. We all have secret sins hidden deeply and tucked away in the recesses of our consciousness. Even the pope. Even priests. It’s true. And it’s coming. Again, this is not a condemnation. I would never be proud enough and bold enough to state that I am able to discern the state of grace of another man. We see the sin. But we never see what caused it. We never see the culpability. Well, soon we will. I cannot tell you how glorious it is to have Jehovah use my story as catalyst for justice upon the earth. The only way to survive this day – this you may take as a warning – is to develop a friendship with your God. It’s coming for you too. This mother abuse is a thing, which affects all of us. To varying degrees. That we have placed the mother on a pedestal does not help much. It only silences victims, further repressing our pain, further perpetuating this terrible and heinous cycle.

When I say that we need to heal our inner children, what do you hear? Do you hear that we need to dance around a fire with tamborines and smoke weed? Maybe I gave the wrong impression. The spirit does exist. It really does. It’s what makes the human so valuable. When I mention the inner child, I am talking about the spirit. Everybody, in life, has a spirit attached to themselves. A higher self. A sense of reality. Call it conscience. It’s the reason the Bible says the angels of all children see the Father. You are opposing me. I don’t know why. I am only telling you what I have experienced. Am I not speaking sense? Common sense? When we heal this spirit, we can be freed of the passions and desires of our world. I know. Some teacher am I, huh? I do not practice what I preach. I am telling you: it is precisely because of what I teach that I am so hurt. The entire world has experienced this shaming to some degree. Me? I am an eagle amongst sparrows. I am not trumping trauma. It’s simply true. Children deserve better. Do you not agree? Children deserve safety, love, peace and joy. The Bible made a point of emphasizing that Moses was weened and comforted for three months for a reason. It was not accident. Do not butcher your children. Here: If the spirit is real. If every creature is endowed with a spirit, life begins at conception. Don’t let the witches and warlocks convince you to ravage your children. You will stand accountable for it. And it won’t be God who testifies against you. I have been preaching this inner child for decades. You oppose me because you are clutching onto your power. You are envious to the bleeding nail. This also is the reason for their little plan. It’s not you. It’s satan. Satan is still trying to shame my emotions. This is reactive abuse. It’s like punching a kid in class in the back of his head twenty times and saying, “Aha!” when he gets aggravated. You know I have a right to be angry. You cannot tolerate that. Because my story confounds your power. You know that when truth comes out, every claim to power that most people have these days, crumbles to pieces. Watch them closely. This is not about the good of the world or of the church for them. They literally lead you by the hands into suicide. Wake up. Can you not see the division and terror they are sowing? It’s really about shaming me to clutch their positions. If they had your best interest in heart, they would not compromise with communism, an ideology, which seeks to eat you up. All of you. If they had your best interest at heart, they would not import your suicide, leaving you broke, hungry and destitute on the street while giving all of your resources to foreign aliens. This is what it’s about: The emotions. Safeguard your emotions. Treat your children well. Is this heresy? You’re a villain! And they will see it. You have got demons. It’s the reason you hate me. You don’t hate me. Part of you knows I tell the truth. You hate God in me. You are enemies of God. It’s the reason you can’t stand me going to church or speaking about God. Heal yourself! Get the demons out ya’, boy.

The Bible says a lot about emotions. Repressed and unhealed emotions can stumble people to sin. It is not difficult to see, through human eyes, that when a child is abused their entire lives, they will be more apt to sin in a sexual way. They will need healing in this regard. It’s the reason they struggle with masturbation and nocturnal emission despite their great efforts to remain chaste. It’s kind of what they need for their healing. The Bible acts like any instructional manual. Still, there are things that it omits. It does give us an effective route through which to express our emotions. We can do so by meekly acknowledging them, addressing them and communicating respectfully, while listening respectfully to the other. Is this always possible? One thing that the Bible does not instruct us in is regarding diabolic narcissism. If there is one thing that satan hates, it is the free expression of emotions. Because our emotions, particularly the emotions of the child testify against us. They tell us that how we are treating it is against conscience. It is deeper. Satan hates emotions because God the Father, Jehovah, is an emotional being. I can attest to this as I have met Him personally. Does your PhD’s teach you otherwise? The wisdom of the world… The mark of the divine is vulnerability. This is what sets children and animals apart as holy. Holier than your pope. Jehovah is like a child. In fact, in paradise, in perfection, we will be like children. Since satan hates Jehovah, he attacks the children on earth. Is it because of their original sin? You hard-hearted son of a bitch. I suppose victim blaming even has its place in the Church. I assure you, as one who speaks to Jehovah, the child is the most prized, the most prominent and the most cherished in the paradise. This is kind of what sets me apart, my suffering apart as sanctified to God. It’s the reason I am so special. I don’t know what to tell you. If you believe you can love Jehovah and not not just love children but do everything in your power to protect and defend them, you are a cold-hearted son of a bitch not thinking things through well. Jehovah, His very essence and being, is intertwined with childhood. If you cannot see it, you might as well be playing on the enemy’s team. He's got you. Life is all that matters. It’s worth defending. Don’t lose heart, Christians. You’re being stumbled. I came late. Yes. It’s true. But the time for blaming your lethargy and apathy on me is over. I will be your pillar. Just recognize that Jehovah is a child. He is not your pope. He is not your doctors. He is not your PhDs. He is not your capitans. Jehovah is the child. You, as a culture, need to start fighting for life. Wake up. Repent. It’s your warning call. Jehovah sees. He do. What happens in secret, will very soon be illuminated as day light. He’s got a lot on you already. Christians? Sacrificing their children? My word! Repent! You will get the help you need. But the sooner you realize whose side I am on… and whose side they are on… is the sooner you will be freed from their mind control. Life! Freedom! These are things worth fighting for. If you don’t have them, what is Jehovah? Open your hearts. I am the only one fighting for your culture to heal. There are others. Even now. Whom you have been trained to villainize. But you, the faithful, the world, my sheep, my flock, must wake up from your sleep. Stop listening to their poison. Stop eating their poison. Be freed. The priests, the elders, they’re beautiful. But they too, take their instruction and their direction from higher. From whence do these highers get their instruction and direction? I’ve said it before. Priests are beautiful and I cherish the priesthood. I believe they are misguided.

When I was young, do you not think I tried to express anger at what they were doing to me? Whenever I expressed any emotion, my abusers, particularly my relationally close, female abuser, snapped at me ferociously. A demon overtook her. She would accost me and make me feel like I was committing the most severe of crimes by feeling. This is the reason my feelings are stuck. It’s the reason truth needs come out. I understand why you are so threatened by my story. Your power is falling apart. The only thing you have to clutch that power is the off chance that you can get me upset. I pray for you. Pope, you are not a bully. You are being manipulated by evil, evil men. May Jehovah decide between you and I. All of you… and I. The most devastating injury I received, though was not only emotionally but sexually. You know what they did to me. Beginning as early as pre-birth. Sexuality is at the center of our humanness. Our identities. When it is stumbled, our entire well-being goes awry. Is this the issue in the West today? It’s part of the reason. This is the reason developing my sexuality is essential to my spiritual well being. You will never shame my sexuality again. I have the right to express it.  And to experience life. What sets me apart is that I have already been shamed grossly. More than any other. If I masturbate once in three months, it’s because I am wounded and cannot seek that healing from women… who also are wounded. I have felt enough shame over my sexuality that I will not tolerate it being shamed again. For your information, Jehovah Himself, instructed me that when your priests began recording and broadcasting my confessions – an excommunicable offence – I could confess to Him personally. It’s compassion that will save you. It’s envy that will damn you. Choose wisely, my friends. My sexuality, you know what they did to me, was shamed nearly to death. You will not shame my sexuality ever again. Your regulations and rules regarding human sexuality are barbaric and evil. And I am not speaking about chastity. I am as chaste as a Carthusian monk. Am trying at least. With my emotional wounds. You make this about my anger because it gives you a sense of control over it. This is not about my anger. Yes, I am angry. Do you not think I have a right to be? In either case, you shall not trigger me. This is an update only a few days after writing this: I see you are trying to shame me again. Satan up to his old tricks, huh? It seems to be all that you can do to maintain control of this situation. Look, I am not attracted to kids. The stuff I viewed in past was reaction to what they put me through. They are the ones who introduced me to the type of material I watched. I was coping with stress. I am not ashamed that I am attracted to young women. It is your precious communist feminism that has convinced you that age-gap is abusive. Even up to ten years ago, women married ten, fifteen years older than them. Women as young as 14 were prepared for marriage. Is that right? I don’t think so. I’m just saying, we seem to have come a long way from what God intended for relationships. Feminism has plagued our culture like deadly poison. When the truth comes out, you will see the truth of what my relationally close female abuser did to me. More than this, the effect all that had on my psyche. Stop shaming me. If sexuality is truly stumbled, and we don’t have a choice over who we are attracted to, what’s the big deal. We have a responsibility to reorient our sexuality for good. Which I have done. Hey, if I have a nocturnal emission once every three months, are you really going to parade that about as though I were perverted? Check your own rooms. Check your own search histories. Rascals. You’re just nitpicking because you cannot tolerate the awareness coming. Prepare yourselves. Quit measuring with me. Quit being distracted by my sins. Yours are well enough. Trust me. I have seen the state of many of your hearts. Healing is coming. You need to stop focussing on me. Work on yourselves. Priests and religious too. Secret sins. Dum dum dum. When the truth comes out, we will all have criminal records. You think I am talking about silly, insignificant sins. Wait. If they are big enough for you to have forgotten about, then they are big enough for a criminal record. I wouldn’t be too worried though. When this happens, there won’t be enough police constables in the world to document the crazy sins that are going to be confessed. Your prisons. You think people deserve to go there. You are blind to your own sins. Wait. God will show you. You have all merited the death penalty by your actions. Every single one of you. What matters is this day forward. Repent. Turn from your sins. May the God of angel armies protect you in this day. The awareness will be enough justice. There will be room for prisons. They will be reserved for the ones who don’t repent.

I don’t care what you say. That someone is stressed about caretaking a child who has a brain injury is not reason to molest and rape that child. These are incomparable stresses. The misbehavior comes from being raped and is a result of that worse behavior. What is a more severe stress? That that brain injured child scuffs up the walls causing you to continually have to repaint that wall? Or the fact that you are raping that child? It is incomparable that I leave food in the drain trap or forget about vacuuming. And that you judge me for putting my fingers in my mouth? Well, that is simply neurotic retardation. Trust God. Even the venomous snakes will not harm you. Neurotic children. You are using my sin against me as leverage to maintain your power. If you had compassion, you would help me. Instead, you try to trigger my wounds so that you can hold your power. They’re gonna’ see. They’re gonna’ see you for who you are. The leadership in the world and Church for the past twenty years was intended for me. You are fraudulent. Are you intending to cancel me? Truth comes out after my death one way or the other. It is a promise Jehovah made to me. When truth comes out, every single lie will be exposed. Fools! Can I ask a question? Do you really want my message not to be true? You may have to ask yourself, why? What encourages you to resist miraculous healing? There must be some selfish reasoning behind there. Is it that you are ashamed of your secret sin? Of being humiliated? It’ll be swift. Like a bandaid. Is it because of your envy or contempt for me? Get a grip! Is it because you cling to your power? This makes more sense. What do you do when God chooses another? There will be a miracle of healing for the world at my death, when truth comes out. ;) How does this make you feel? Skeletons in the closet? Oh’, glorious humiliation. Soon, everybody’s skeletons will be laid bare. It will be glorious because it will trigger God’s justice in this world. It will trigger, God’s people to stand tall. It will trigger evil ones to collapse in their sin. Bad thing? I leave this for you to answer. But it may just reveal your heart condition. You still think that you can earn your way into the grace of God. By your acts of penance. By the fancy way you respond to the Mass. Tell me, what happens when you are incapable of performing these actions? When you are old and tired on a bed? If you don’t have God then, your acts of good will are pointless. Find God now. Find His grace. Do not depend so on your muscle to earn God’s favor.

You’re seeking vengeance. It’s not the way of God. What your god has instructed you is justice for me, is in fact, a mockery of justice. What man’s sin merits this kind of treatment? Unless it’s suffering for the reparation of the sins of the world. In this case, it is not a punishment. You project your evil on me. You are being bullies. Think about it. You have got cameras in my living space. When you see me have a nocturnal emission once in three months, you claim I have an addiction to masturbation. Do you not see what is happening? They are bullying me. I had a realization last night. Increasingly, the revelations I am receiving are obtained through instruction at the Kingdom Hall and not the Catholic Church. This realization is that what you are seeking to prove is my unrepentance. You believe that if you can get me angry, you can prove me unrepentant. I understand this perspective. You are right. My sin, much of it is dreadfully serious. And I am humbling. What you need to understand, why this is so cruel is because of the way my feelings were used against me in the past. They shamed my feelings so much that my identity split. Literally. It’s the catalyst for their ‘plan’. It’s not really about proving me unrepentant but in shaming me until I crack. This is the definition of reactive abuse. You believe that I commit these sins out of ingratitude to Jehovah. What I did, I did while I was still enduring hell every night. What happened to me, was more serious than what I did. It is true. And, what I endured, was for the will of Jehovah. He understood the risks of how my life would be stumbled when He asked me to engage in this mission. Yes, before my birth. What I did was not out of ingratitude. It was because I was still enduring what He asked me to. Yes, my sin was serious. But, if true, what I claim, I am not criminally responsible. The anger, as well, is a reaction to what God asked me to endure. Sin? Because of God? No. Because Jehovah asked me to endure a crucifixion of sorts in my childhood as reparation for sins of the world. Of the church… and of the white man. Watch them carefully. I will be your pillar. But when they are failing, watch them closely. They will resort to utterly criminal lows in order to try to get me angry. Here’s the thing: Their entire dynamic of power is dependant upon that I get angry. If they prove me angry, they hold onto their power. World, Church, you need to ask yourself, who has your good intention at heart? I understand that I have been against you in the past. I understand that I have a crazily sinful past. Here’s the thing: I am repentant. My completely changed behavior attests to it. What you believe is sin now, is nothing more than your own projection and feelings. I’m not the one who is leading you by the hand to your suicide. Your pope, while potentially not evil in himself, is working hand in hand with evil forces. Whether or not I am unrepentant or repentant, I leave this in the hands of God. I will not make the mistake of judging one before their judgement. Whether or not I am repentant, you must see, I seem to be the only leader who is seeking to lead you to safety. And who desires your well-being. In either case, since this now depends on my getting angry or not, I submit to your plans. I admit that I have merited it through my actions. Even though, you are judging from what you see with your physical eyes. It is not racist to oppose open borders. Maybe Hitler had the right idea. He was fighting against open borders, communism and freemasonry. The communists have done a swell job of victimizing and gathering compassion for the freemasons over the past century since this war. They are evil as bleeding nails. Hitler has been demonized to the point where we have forgotten any sense of humanity within him. His approach was violent. But, after all, perhaps he had the good intentions of his culture and his people. Seems a stock response to every strong world leader that comes along. You savage him, then destroy his name. Sounds familiar? Sadam Hussein cared for his people and established the Libyan economy until it sky rocketed. Another I have recently learned about is Pinochet. Who also established his economy to the point of skyrocketing. That a nation benefits itself goes against your agenda, doesn’t it? Because you desire the one world tyranny. Kind of like what they have planned with me, huh? You have been blinded by these one world government nonsensical, evil little rascals. They poison you with every breath you take. Their plan is more than about my repentance. It’s about my humiliation. This is cruel to the beans. There is no morality about this. Almost every accusation you will bring against me is bollocks. Am I a bad roommate? I clean more than anyone here. You are simply looking for things to be wrong because of your politics. Because I turn evil statues around so they aren’t staring me in the face? At least I don’t break chairs that people spent hours fixing. Can you blame me for being suspicious about an evil statue? As for your food, it is unjust to tell someone that they can have some soup, some potatoes once and then call them a thief when they take some. Guy! Get a grip! Am I abusing women recently simply by offering them notes of affection? Maybe I am simply expressing my feelings towards them. Maybe it’s not me by whom they are threatened. Maybe it’s the idea they’ve conjured about who I am because of what they have heard. God prove who I am now. That I am smelly as a child? Really? You target these quirks of mine because you have no other control. It gives you a sense of control over who God says I am. If you cannot see, even just a little how this is kind of evil, the plan you have, you may not have place with Jehovah. You are just being bullies. If my simply drawing attention to your hidden, special sins, gets you so aggravated, I wonder about them. Can’t wait to find out what they are! God will show you. God will show everyone. As He will justify and vindicate me. Of every bollocks accusation you bring before me.

This is the thing: looking at me from the outside, you can see very clearly, a hardened man with a dreadful past. You don’t see what caused this stumbling. And it’s pretty common sense that sin endured in childhood stumbles to sin. Because you see with your eyes, you cannot develop compassion. Despite the overwhelming evidence that I truly endured what I say I endured. These crimes, these sins, even this anger you are so fascinated with, do not belong to me. They were different identities entirely. Yes, the things I did were wrong. Terribly wrong. I repent in sackcloth and ashes. But these acts were literally commit by different people within me. They were commit by alters who were specifically formed from satanic rituals. This is why I am not criminally responsible. Am I lying to you? Yup, I lied a lot as a child. Again, God claims my conscience clear for the past seven years in terms of that. The reason I lied as a child is because my abusers blurred the boundary of truth and lie for me. My sin distracts you from your grievous sin. You cannot tolerate to think about your sin because it is fresh. My only sin recently are natural. You commit murders and hide them. Here’s the thing: We are all sinners. Every one of us. To admit our sinfulness is kind of the first step in spirituality. Your confession doesn’t clean you. Just wait for the secret sins. A lot of you will be very, very surprised. This is truth: Jesus died for us. We need to accept his mercy. It is free. You who believe in your moral superiority, just wait. You are the most sinful of all.

We do not need boundaries for people to treat us well. If one does not have self-respect is not an invitation to harass him. These too, are not traits. They are symptoms. If you know better and infringe upon these boundaries because they have none, you testify against yourselves. If you would resist someone doing the same to you, you are violating the golden rule. We learn how we are to be treated by our parents. If our parents fail, maybe someone should step in and encourage that child. I realize now the reason God sent me. The reason God sent me is to show to the Christian people that it is alright to stand for yourself against bullies. It is alright to speak up. It is alright to resist evil, evil acts of obedience. Wake from your sleep, laity. They will eat you for breakfast. The way of Jesus is not vengeance. We, once we are forgiven our sins, are justified. I thought again about this statement. Jehovah instructed me to leave it be. We may be asked to account for our past sins. This does not mean falsely accusing this person, making another crucifixion of him. This is a mockery. So be it. Jehovah judge you. You’ve been doing it for centuries to everyone who opposed your sunshine and poison. Jehovah doesn’t condone lying. Even for penance.

The reason you think I am racist because I oppose illegal immigration… the reason you think I am racist because I oppose Islamic conquest… well… it’s because you’re not thinking things through. I declare a new virtue of by virtue of reason. This is the moral virtue of thinking for yourself. Inculcate it within your hearts. You have no common sense. You cannot see the way that all this unlawful integration is faltering every aspect of social functioning. Healthcare, education, housing, welfare… do you even remember that it was astronomically better only years ago? Years ago! What happened? They flooded us with economic migrants. I don’t know why… I don’t know the reason they are trying to destroy the West… the white man… but if we do not stand soon, our end will be swift. My past has nothing to do with my present beliefs. You think so because you are incapable of forming a thought for yourself. If I am a nazi, I’m not a very good one… learning Hebrew… interacting with Israelites on my free time. I am telling you that the white man is not a pushover. He is not ashamed of his race. The West will rise again. The white man will be glorified. For when he is, you will know that it is God who has marked His forgiveness upon him. And His favor. The time for being sorry for imagined offences of our fathers is over. The time for the cultures we have built being used as outdoor jons is over. Freemasons, communists, God Himself resists you and your plans for this world.

Friends, do you feel that I am asking to be crucified because I speak out against your filthy envy and even filthier corruption? I am praying for you. And your salvation. As you are making it very, very, very difficult for the faithful to attain to salvation. You truly believe that I do not have a right by Jehovah to be angry? I’m sure they said the same of Jesus. Of Jehanne D’Arc. These were innocent as can be. God justified their cause and put to deepest shame those who persecuted them. I realize now why I was sent. Why I was asked to submit so needlessly to their relentless and terrible abuses against me as a child. It was to illustrate to Christianity that obedience need not submit to self-destruction. Wake up. Lead them to freedom, you leaders.

I am thankful for the fact that it is God’s will that things be transfigured in the world before the end. Your leaders are not praying hard enough. Keep praying. He will show you. They are tired. They are kind of up against a wall. The Earthly powers close in around them. Their teaching… Oh their teaching and formation has been tainted. You need to know that regardless of how bad things become, everything will be glorious. Keep faith my brilliant children. You have need for a shepherd. Every generation up until a couple of generations ago has had legitimate pastors. I am prepared to be this shepherd for you. God bless you. But may He show you the truth. One very certain thing that the Catholics have correct is their stance on life. Life is valuable. More valuable than anything else. Whether it be in protecting the elderly soldier who is now disabled, life in the womb or protecting a boy who is being abused unjustly. It is not God’s way to not protect life. And by fighting against life, you are in effect, fighting against Jehovah Himself. This is where I take my stand. For life. For life. Freedom! I was racist as a child because I saw what would happen to our culture. What you would do to it. I want to encourage you. All will be well. This is not about me anymore. It is… it has always been about you. The goodness of this world. And for the resurrection that affects us all. The resurrection of this world. Of the Church. But mostly, of the world. This is not about my sin. You are only using it as leverage to maintain your control. If you were sincere, you would see that you also have sin. I just might be not culpable or criminally responsible for my sin. Never forget that I am a prophet not to the Church only. Also, to the world. God loves you so much. God loves you so much. All you need to do is accept this love. How can you do so? It is by developing a relationship with Him, your God… The one who has a name. His name is Jehovah. Not allah. Nothing else. Jehovah is His name.

It was always God’s plan to reward me. I am shamed about what I surrendered because of shame. I would have been a king in this life had I simply told truth sooner. God’s original plan for me was never to have me hurt more. The only reason this has to happen as such now is so that you won’t be devastated after truth comes out. It’s because of the corruption and sin of the clergy this must happen. God always intended to reward me. I endured a crucifixion in my childhood. If Jesus came down from the cross, would you tell him to man up? Would you spit in his face because he needed to humble? As he was writhing in agony? Would you step on his wounds? You are losing heart. In my childhood, I suffered a lot. The reason you want to humble me in such a mockery of justice is because of contempt. Because of envy. And because who I am contradicts who you think your leadership is. I know what is going to happen. And I submit to God’s will. But I need help.

If it sounds like I am multiple personality, you would be right. I actually do. But it bears no witness here. Look my friends, I am hard on you. I am strict. God gave me a tongue like a sword. You need to know your potential. You need to know that things can get better. But you need to know that it is getting late. I love you all. Those of the world as with those of the Church. You are all my flock. I try to waken you from your sleep with my language. It’s what God puts on my heart. You call my strong language hatred. Perhaps it is this that gives me clarity of wisdom. You need to know that Jehovah loves you tremendously. It is not hate that inspires this language. On the contrary, it is righteous indignation. I see you being swindled. I care about you all. I cannot tell you how difficult it is to see you scattered in this way. My only question to you. Why do you feel I am unrepentant?

It never hurts to have hope in people. I believe in the Blue Jays. Have since I was a tot. I believe they will both, come back from behind, the Brewers and the Jays. It was kind of crazy the fact that probably five years ago, I prophecied that Jays would face Brewers in WS and they have each come this year so far. I believe in the best. It never hurts to have hope. And if they don’t win, it’ll happen in the next five years. It’s quite a spectacular warm up though. Look guys, you are all doing so very well. I know. Hope deferred is the source of a sick heart. Please know it is not intentional that we haven’t received our blessing yet. I had quite a realization yesterday. I was saying to a fellow Catholic that things will get better. He said, ‘yes, but they must get very rough first.’ People have been saying that to me since MH. It suddenly made sense to me what they were saying. You don’t believe there’s a possibility that things can improve before the great tribulation. It was surprising to me. It actually hurt a little. I know I’ve not given you much to believe in. Do you remember the work I did decade ago? Keep faith guys… You gotta’ know that God loves you so much. Every one of you, everyone of you, every single one of you is so precious in His eyes. Even if you are in mortal sin, it is not too late. Just call out to Him. Develop a friendship. A couple of days ago, I was writing about how I loved to sing and sing loud in church because of my passion and zeal for God. Don’t let the world take that from you. I can’t tell you how sorrowful it makes me to see my fellow Christians trying to snub out the light of another Christian because of their envy. You gotta’ know, this is what God cherishes. This inner light. This inner spark and sense of warmth in the soul. You could say the “Hail Mary” for the rest of your life, you could go to confession twice a day and receive Eucharist every day. It doesn’t compare with this spark. It is the inner child. The inner child is the one who stands above your body. Like a guide to your body. This inner child can be wounded. When it is wounded, we are stumbled into sin. When I tell my story, I am not complaining. I am explaining. Anyone with a heart could see how it justifies me. Don’t do that, Church, world… Don’t snub out the lights of this world. In a sense, I know you cannot even really control it. It’s the reason for such child abuse and satanic ritual abuse and vulnerable abuse. I see you hear the words. Satanic ritual abuse. You do not understand what this implies. It’s okay. The time for healing shall come. Just remember our children are our lights. These are the lights. These are the lights of the world. The children. The wounded. The animals. These are the ones to be exalted. Just remember, when you make one of these suffer, it is as though you are making Jehovah suffer. It’s hard for me to watch what I believed was the true church doing this very thing. A true Christian protects the light. A true Christian protects children. We all have pasts. It is our responsibility to live in spirit. These are the most like God… the little baby in the trash… He is holier than the pope. Than the priest. You know it to be true… All this to say, things will get better. Unrecognizably better. Before the great tribulation. It’s not my promise. It is Jehovah’s. I wondered at these reactions to when I would say that. I don’t think you want to get your hopes up and have them dashed. I can assure you this will not happen. You need to know that things will get rough before the transfiguration of the earth. But God wants you to know His love. God wants you to feel His justice. He wants to reward these ones… the children. The martyrs. You need to ask yourselves, laity, why anyone would oppose this? It’s because of their pride. They do not want to be wrong. And they will commit murder in order to stand by it. You’re right. It is tough for Catholics to become saints. When truth comes out, the laity themselves will lift me up. A people who are not Catholic also will revere me. I don’t deserve it. I never said I was a saint. I said I was a prophet. Not only to the Catholic Church. To the world. They’ll realize what you’re doing. You’ll see.

I feel a conviction in my heart to tell you that things will get better. Just keep faith. God sees your wounds, your pain and your tears. He is numbering each of your tears. He sees your hard work. He sees the training you are giving your children, the hard work you are enacting to take care of your family. Jehovah loves you all so, so much. Rest will come. Rest will come for God’s holy ones. He wants you to know that He has seen your goodness. Your patient endurance. I am only His voice. I am telling you that He wants you to be happy. He wants you to experience the fullness of life. At the end of our lives, with the judgement, let us have nothing to regret. Let us seek to fulfill our dreams and goals. Remember, Jehovah wants our joy as much as we do. It is not hard to accomplish our goals in the will of God. Let us orient our love with the love of God. Let us be entirely united to His love. Let us become close friends with Him. I’m telling you, first-hand testimony here, when we become His friends, He will make our wildest dreams come true. He wants to bless us fully and completely. Become His friend. I have said a couple of times that the only way to be glorified in this world is to seek satan. While it is true, satan gives you good stuff in this life (money, power, fame) he robs you of everything in your life later. The true way to blessings in this life, lasting blessings, are by becoming Jehovah’s friend. Never let the absence of blessings and good things in this life make you feel like God doesn’t love you. The fact is that we can serve God and not receive a thing. It is about our integrity in this case. Remain steadfast to Him and He will reward you eternally. What is a car in view of eternity? It is urine! You still trying to measure your manhood with me, thinking my message is a message of debate! Laugh! Keep debating.

Catholics, it is breaking my heart. It breaks my heart. It breaks God’s heart to see you selling out to powers that would sooner chew you up and spit you out than reciprocate your charity. Do you not see? You are being used. They have infiltrated you because you were the greatest force on earth holding them at bay. The most difficult thing to watch is that you do not even see it. Because they have gotten into your seminaries decades ago. This is the risk of becoming political in your faith. You can end up choosing the wrong side. Or the side that seems like it has all the power. Or the side that offers the most money under the table for your support. You break my heart. You literally had the world in your hands. By capitulating with them, you place your salvations at jeopardy. The governments of the West? The Catholic Church? Being used as pawns? Unheard of. Even twenty years ago. Where are your men? Where are they? Are you really content seeing your women raped and the culture our fathers built with their blood trampled on? This is the reason Jehovah instructed me to apply for religious life. He wanted to protect me. He wanted me to die a happy death. He knew what your leaders would do when their tighty whiteys got all bunched up because of me. It doesn’t have to happen this way. It will be a mockery. If it does happen, it will be your choice. Not mine. This great and glorious unveiling happens either way. I’ll tell you. You’re going to look very villainous, very, very villainous if you do this. Your sins will be even greater than those of the rest that are coming out. It is your contempt and envy that makes you want to censor me. By resisting my reign, you may look like fools. You may find yourself working against God. Because when I return, I will be the only leader with power from Heaven. I will be the only one who stands for Jehovah. This is not pride. Humility recognizes truth. This is the reason that you seek to kill me. So, Catholics, I have always said, you are a precious people. Your simplicity is in your obedience. Your faith is in your obedience. Obedience to evil is not faith. What happens when the shepherd is struck? So, I declare a new virtue of highest caliber to you today. The virtue of thinking for yourself. It’s frightening at first. I believe in you. You can do it. You are being played as strings with your obedience. Will you participate in the crucifixion of God’s ordained? Because you… were… just following… following orders? Look, I don’t want this to happen. I am only a middle-aged, very disabled man with beliefs that well over half of the Western world shares. You know my innocence. God attests to it. I have been very hurt by your evil world. I am willing to do this if it means the good of this world. Since no one else has the manhood to do it. I suppose it’ll have to be me. I just have a question… where have your men gone? They’re literally leading you by the collar into the furnace. These are not men. I am prophesying that you as an organization will lose everything if you follow this plan. You will topple. And from you, new and greater ones shall inherit what you have built. It will not be I who has done this. It will be Jehovah of armies. And when it happens, you know it will be just. Don’t you find it strange that the attention of the entire world is upon one man? It is evil. It is no wonder the Catholic Church will try to kill me. Satan also does. Have you become Satan’s friends, Catholic Church?

When my truth comes out, so do all of yours. ;) It’s not a bad thing. Wait! You’ll see. You believe this is some scheme I am plotting. I hate to inform you; I am not tight enough with Jehovah to be able to convince Him to do this. I just may be the tightest person to Him on earth now. No, you think I am plotting this because you don’t want it to be true. Friends, you do not believe it to be the will of Jehovah because you do not have the fullness of the Spirit of God. If you did, you would know that this has always been His will. I am very simple. I am not aware of the evil you have planned for me. But, if it’s true that you have concocted this plan because you think I threaten you to convince God to air all of your sins, you are retarded not thinking things through fully. I am simply telling you what’s what. It happens either way. You threaten me with false accusation and a crucifixion because it offers you the illusion that you have some sort of control over this. Maybe even it offers you a bit of catharsis over the impending judgement that comes. Hey, man, the religious knew Jehovah was going to judge them when Jesus came as well. Jehovah made them his footstool. Look, I am not threatening you. I am not accosting you. I am not bullying you. I am simply telling you what God will do. Prepare your hearts. And by actively participating in another crucifixion of God’s elect, may not be a good way to prepare your heart. Just saying. “There’s a skeleton in everybody’s closet.” Keep praying. Keep praying. Put aside your Bible for now. Put aside your tradition. Listen to God. He yearns to speak to you. Open your heart. If He speaks to the children, He will speak to you too. If not, perhaps it means that you are sinful. Wait. It’s the reason this will happen. To set you back on the right track. Remember, it is not a punishment that your sins will be known to all. It is personal. It is for your healing. When it happens, people won’t be worried about justice at first. There will be time for that. Fall to your knees. Repent now. While you can. Again, I am asking, please don’t hurt me in the way you are planning. It is not my choice. This is going to happen whether I want it to or not. Whether you want it to or not. Wake up. Listen to the Spirit. You need to know that if you choose to do this, Jehovah will confound and prove lies every accusation you make against me. Not only are all your murders and rapes you can’t remember going to be coming out, you’re also going to look like mighty fools before the face of earth. God rebuke you. There are a lot of places in this world to sweep your sins under the rug. It’ll be illumined soon. If you are the morally and spiritually clean person you claim to be, you should have nothing at all to worry about. I will not argue this with you any longer. I know what is right. You still think my identity is something that you can measure against. My identity is not in what I say or do. Yes, it’s important. But God chose me before creation. You can measure against me all you want. I know what I know. You cannot convince me. Neither will I allow your words to convince other people because you measure against me and record my conversations. From now on, you have merited my respectful silence. Again, you believe that this is a thing I am plotting. It’s because you are not associated with the Spirit of God. If you believed in the Christ of God, you would know that all I am doing is proclaiming God’s repentance. This is all that is important. That you repent. That the name of Jehovah and His Christ are glorified. Sometimes, what we need for repentance is a total and complete shakeup of our awareness. We need to be brought low. It’s true: some will not survive this awareness. Their hearts shall condemn them. Build your friendships now. God is not dead. He is alive. He is roaring like a lion. You will see. When He judges you. You witches and warlocks. The time for sweeping your sin under the carpet is done with. Jehovah shall illumine every nook and crevice in this world. Friends, this happens either way. No matter what you do to me. You may feel very sad after you realize what you have done. Again. All that matters is Christ. Once again… I cry out from the mountain tops, repent for the Kingdom of God has come. Very near. REPENT. Your victim’s blood is crying out for justice. Just so you know: abortion is one of the most serious crimes a human can commit. There is forgiveness. Vulnerable abuse is the next. Reach out. Accept this forgiveness. Build your friendship. This is what matters. Watch what happens next. They will intensify their efforts to silence and kill me. Especially now that they know they have no control. Now that they know that God is in control. Repent. The time for sweeping your dirty sins under the carpet comes to a glorious, triumphant conclusion. Jehovah laughs in your faces. Evil ones. Ones who choose evil. He laughs in your faces. While He elevates the ones who are wounded. Who are small. Tell me, how does this make you feel? Evil ones? Does it sting? I bet it does. Rue in it. Because it is going to sting a hell of a lot more. Wait. Sunshine, lollipops and rainbows everywhere. Hell is real. And you shall find yourself there. ;) Listen to me: Either way, truth comes out. Either way, God wins. The jig is up. Crawl out from the rock you hide under. Might as well confess now. Otherwise you gonna’ feel like otherworldly morons when it happens. Do what you want to me. God vindicates me entirely. Do what you want to me. Soon, you see, you are just as bad… or worse… than me. At least, I can remember my dirty laundry. I am not speaking to the just. You, the just, shall bask in the sun like glorious summer reptiles when this occurs. You shall revel in this justice. Because you will know it has come directly from your God. It is time for you to be strengthened. Be firm, noble ones. Help comes. And it shall dash the evil to the rocky shards below your feet. That prophecy of Genesis. Gensis 3:15. This is a promise to all of us who are just and made in the image of Jehovah. Just wait. Keep faith. Keep strong. This justice will be felt by all who have triumphed. The saints, living and dead shall experience it. It is in effect, what all of creation has been groaning to experience since the early days. Wait. Evil ones, embrace your dirty, filthy fates. But know that there is still a chance for you. Repent. Or don’t. It’s up to you. But know that from the day I publish this article, my conscience is clear. I have done what I came to do. Evil is already dead. You think it is mighty and strong. Because you amass good things. You are a moron. And if it’s your choice to continue in this path, it is your choice. Not God’s. Not mine. Not anyone’s. But your own. Let the choices be made. Humans, know that you are so beautiful. God does not desire your death. Open your hearts. Call to Him. He is the only one who can save you. Satan tempts you with the feeling of power that you have in this world. That sense of control. Yes, even control over life. For who can deny? It is a godly thing to have the power over another’s life in your dirty little hands. It is an illusion. This is not life. Know, with absolute certainty – and I attest to this personally – that when you murder someone, you are in fact placing a garland wreath of golden glory around their heads. You think you are winning something in this life by gaining power over another. You think you are achieving something by silencing the lights of this world. In the Kingdom, they will be the very first to receive glory. Here’s the thing: this life? It’s not so meaningful. The Life that matters is not yet. So… do what you will. But know that you simply amass testimony against your self. While amassing crowns and mansions for your victims. Make the choice. No one’s going to make it for you. Satan? Or Jehovah? Death? Or life? It’s now your choice. Choose wisely though. Because it just may be permanent. Which will you choose? The choice is kind of right in front of you. Presenting itself. I am telling you that you need to repent. This comes from one with a spotted past like a chessboard. But, I am calling for love for vulnerables, for goodness. I am calling for goodness for this world. They are calling for sin… not openly. They want your death. Can you not see it? So, which will you choose? I may need to humble. Yes, it’s true. If I need to, you do as well. You simply have my sin in your hands. Don’t worry. Yours will be laid bare soon enough. For God to have in His hands. I am not forcing you to choose. That would be cruel. God will make the choice for you. You, the just, need to remember this promise of justice. It boils in my blood with the strongest of love. Keep searching your Bible. You will see this to be true. Keep praying. You will see it to be true. Keep faith. Your God is swooping in like an eagle. He will rescue you. Until every saint is lifted up. Until the hidden story of every child, murdered is plastered across the front page of every newspaper in the world. You, the evils, the true garbage, you need to remember this promise of punishment. All that you have fought for, is in vain. It is being built up, at this very moment, your empires, your families, your businesses – it is being built up for one purpose: to be passed on to the just. You have no part in it. If it lasts, if it is proved worthy through the testing, it is being built for the small ones who will inherit it. You who believe this world is the finality of the universe. Goodbye. So long. Farewell. So sad. I say this to shake your hearts. Wake from your sleep. Repent. God sees. Everything. You cannot escape His wrath. Repent!

Update: Told ya’ so. They will villainize me now. Every opportunity they get. Keep your awareness. They are threatened by my power. It’s the reason they try to kill me. They are threatened by my voice. It’s the reason they silence me. Peace. They try to divide you. Look: again… I am a very terrible sinner. But if you do not think you are too, this enlightenment may come as a shock. I simply want to prepare you. And if I am a king… if I do have some sort of earthly rulership in the future… if I am going to restore God to worship… then you need remember that it is subordinate to the authority of the true Kingship of Jesus Christ and our Father in Heaven, Jehovah. May His name be glorified and honored throughout the face of the earth. As it is in Heaven… Remember always, this is about Jesus.

Freedom Reign!

I agree. Once again, you have confounded me. Obedience is the best thing. And of course, the faithful are committing no sin in being obedient. We are doing the right thing by being obedient. What you need to consider is who you are being obedient to. Are you being obedient to Jehovah? Or man? This is not about power. This is not about pride. It’s about the will of God. You give me too much credit to be able to convince God to bless the world because it’s something I desire. Keep praying. Keep praying. Put the Scriptures aside for a moment. Put aside your traditions and superfluous teaching. He will show you. You have got to keep praying. I can’t help that God speaks to me as a friend. I know I have got to humble. Something tells me you are going to do this for me, aren’t you? You need ask yourself, is it envy? Is it contempt? You may just get a surprise as to the responsibility of my sins. They rest on the shoulders of them who abused me. Guys, you are my flock. My flock are the traditional Christian conservatives. I don’t know the reason Jehovah has asked me to stay with the Catholic Church. I will say that your faith is very beautiful. There is something endearing and wonderful about the fact that your faith is in your obedience. In this, can also be your greatest weakness. The adorable way you listen to the word of God through the readings of the day. Even if it goes against everything else you know of the faith. I really wonder at times, if you would joyfully follow the pope off of a cliff if he were to instruct it. Or drink some mystery koolaid. I am not against you. It’s becoming clearer as to why I have been called to you particularly. Let me find a nice way to say this. Keep in mind that it is not their fault. They are simply doing the best that they can with the training they have been offered. They are working against your healing. As a culture. As a world. As individual, unique and precious nations. You must be able to clearly see at this point that the world is not heading in positive directions. This is not the will of God. The end is not yet. They, even though they believe they are doing the best they can, are leading you by the hand into slavery. The Kingdom will not be accomplished through tyranny. I know my state. I know I have to humble. I do not want to be hurt more. Do you feel that I deserve to be hurt because I call into question your legitimacy? It is your swollen pride that thinks so. If I am weak, then lead them! Reminds me of a scene from Braveheart. Wallace is saying, “people are not following titles. They follow courage. Lead them to freedom.” I appeal to your good nature. Christians. They won’t even let me get a job. They convince every woman who I am interested in that I not worthy. You must see what I am up against. They surveil my every move. You must see what I am up against. Do you not see that I may be the only one seeking the good of this world still? Good, Christian people (the true flock), I appeal to you. Wake up. God didn’t take you from slavery of Egypt to toss you back into slavery of a worse nature. Still, I know in my heart, I am not the only one. I know there are still many, many prophets of Jehovah who still exist. I am only waiting for God and His real Spirit to instruct them about what I have known for decades. Leadership, lay aside your deals with the state. Lay aside your carnal pleasures and prides. You must see that what I am teaching is truth. And truth is not dependent on how I react. You are not animals. Have sense, know that when God will show you, you will feel bad. Know there is mercy.

Catholic Social Teaching:

You may ask what right is it of mine to make comments on these teachings. I ask you what right don't I possess to make comments on these teachings? Far from a condemnation, I simply want to comment for consideration. That people may benefit from my wisdom. Look, I care greatly for my Church. Yes, in spite of how distant I walk - and equally, in spite of how distant she walks from me - I will always be a Traditional Catholic. These are only brief thoughts off the top of my head. Perhaps, Jehovah will lead me towards a deeper analysis in future. But, we need to know that the direction she has traversed is not in God. God's people are distinct from the world. Keep this in mind. But: they've a responsibility to guide and shape the world and its dealings. This is a Christian duty for the institution as well as for the individual. Read. Or don't. God Jehovah shall prove His will. Either way... 

Dignity of human person: Yes, everyone has dignity of life. Not only children. Not only women. Men, white men too. Even ones who are being cancelled because of mistakes in their past. Forgive me, I got a little bitter there. Lol. What I mean to say is that I really like this teaching.

Principle of association: YES! We should be doing more to encourage and facilitate individuals to participate more. This is where evangelization comes in. There are a lot of hurting people these days. Especially in cities who are very broken. Mark my words, the 'city' also is coming to an end.

Common good: Unity and brotherhood are ideas that seem good. It is not sustaining. When ideas clash, divisions arise. Common sense. This common good idea leads towards nwo. Do you not realize that nwo is a prophecy of end times? End times can be postponed, if we desire. Nationalism is the safest bet and a good system. In that it upholds and seeks after the well being and safety of individual populations. Yes, absolutely we must love one another, locally and globally. The best and most efficient way of doing this is by maintaining a little bit of separation.

Solidarity: A nice thought. We are all in the same life together. But, we do not all have the same goals and beliefs in life. This can place us on conflicting paths. Solidarity as a brotherhood and respect for other brothers and sisters is a pinnacle thought. But, the responsibility of the charity and upholding of that dignity lies with the individual. It's why healing of the human heart is so important. It's the reason evangelization is so important. If we care about their souls, we will teach them the truth. Healing of the world lies with healing of the individual. 

Preferential option for the poor: Leviticus tells us not to favor the rich or show special treatment to the poor. Money will come and go. It is not the mark of a man's soul. Their soul is much more important. Besides there are many other means of poverty than only materially. Communism is not Christian. 

Stewardship of Creation: Yes, we should care for our home, the planet. You lack faith if you think that Jehovah does not have the power to completely transform it back to perfection. What you mean, man? Trust in God!

Role of government: Yes.

Participation: Yes.

Rights and responsibilities: Yes.

Economic justice: Yes! This is my favorite teaching. Not that incomes need be distributed equally but that work is dignified and holy. Everyone has a right to work. This is not a criticism but a warning. With the increasing interconnectedness of our world, with the rise of AI and machines, a lot of jobs are going to be lost for the common worker. I've heard the argument that the alleviation of manual jobs (cashiers, factory, etc.) will free up the workforce to employ more important jobs. This neglects the fundamental fact that most of the workforce was employed in manual jobs.

Peace: Yes.

Everyone is equal. Yes, we are all given what we are due. equality exists morally on a level of giving everyone the same opportunity to advance as the next. It is communist and perhaps even amoral to adjust the equality levels of marginalized groups in order to give them a preferential treatment. I lament saying this but I feel a disparagement has arisen in our world today in terms of understanding who is marginalized and who is needing of help. It's evident abundantly in the fact that half of city populations are living on the streets. Those who truly need help are to put it simply, those who need help. Disabled people, wounded-es, yes, the poor. But, I remind you, poverty does not equal holiness.  

Daniel Fast!

I am thinking about it. My message has been very personal. It's time I return to the roots of my ministry. Sure, there will be people who will misunderstand me. There will be people who will not like me. But, there was a time, when my ministry consisted of this. Gratitude and faith. I'll tell you, I am so thankful for my voice. I am so thankful that I have been given this life. I don't know who reads this blog. I am sure that some people do. This is my intention. I am going to start a Daniel Fast. For those unfamiliar, the origins of the Daniel Fast come from the Biblical Book of Daniel. King Nebuchadnezzar entices the Israelites to eat food sacrificed to their gods. It is against their faith to do so. And the Hebrews tell the King to feed them vegetables only and water for ten days. Afterwards, to check the complexion of their countenance compared with the countenance of those who have eaten the food sacrificed to idols. I invite you to join me! As much as you are able! Please, before you begin this with me, make sure to consult with a doctor. My goal is to last for ten days. Like the Hebrew men from the Book of Daniel. In the past, I have done this particular fast for ninety days. During this time, I lost 100 lbs, something which I have been able to maintain. I felt so much better than I had prior. I was sleeping like a king and even walking better, talking clearer. Actually, a lot of the symptoms of my MS were eased completely after a while. To keep it simple this time, I am going to start for ten days. So, these are the rules: Only vegetables, only fruit, only water. No carbs, no sugar. I am allowing myself protein as I will be going to the gym every day of this fast. As always, I am allowing myself caffeine intake. I cannot go for too long without my green tea and coffee! I invite you to pray with me the Holy Rosary every day of this fast. I am going to be going to the gym every day of this fast. I will post a before and after picture at the end of this fast. God bless! 

Feelings!

Yes, there is much mental suffering abounding these days. Confusion with gender etc. The example of Dissociative Identity Disorder actually provides a good reason why we need to both listen to these people and have compassion. It is a perfect example of how all mental illness are rooted in unprocessed trauma. It forms only in early childhood in response to terrible, terrible injustice and trauma. Who can blame a person for not enduring their trauma with Christ when Christ has not been shown to them in childhood? This is naturally the fallout of not raising our children in God. Christians, it is not rooted in Truth. But there is reason for compassion. We need to avoid being condemnatory. Too much truth without love is pharisaical. I, myself have fallen into this trap at times. These people have been through hell and have not known the true Christ to help them through that place. We, on the contrary, have been blessed in life. Even if we have also been through hell, we have had Christ to guide us. Let us then, be pillars. Let us not be mockers and bullies. If you have Christ, then you have a grave responsibility. These are people who are the least of all. These are the poor in spirit. Not people materially poor. It’s not in love to call someone crazy who has been through more than any of the world you have ever known. Yes, maybe they are crazy. So are you in some ways. At the same time, we must be prudent. We need be vigilant and assess the fruit. What I am saying, Christian, is that love never forsakes. Love never abandons and disregards. Love is patient and allows the work of judgement to God. It is unfortunately true. Many who have chosen these paths are in the process of being lost. Some will never return. However, if there were only fifty people, of all of these people who were only confused and mislead, would it not be worth reaching out and persevering for them in evangelism? Forgive me, but if there were forty-five, would it be worthy of persevering in evangelizing? Pardon my boldness, but if there were only five, would it be still worthy of persevering in evangelizing for these souls? I remember hearing a voice, nearly a decade ago that told me that the time for evanglization is over. People have made their choice, it said. I quickly recognized it not of God. The fact is, Christian, we are called to help the poor in Spirit, to proclaim the Gospel until the very end, in our words and in our lives. Perhaps the greatest lesson that it teaches is that feelings are not always based in truth. Still, feelings are certainly important. Remember the Father, leaving the 99 to search for the 1 lost. It's meaningless. Let us prudently then share the Gospel with these. Let us not become caught up in hammering them with the Truth. The Truth will be a hammer in of itself enough. Healing is coming!

What does the Resurrection mean to you?

I have a feeling that in future years, looking back, we will be able to say that a great heresy has existed here. Greater than Arianism or Jansenism. For the question we need ask is what do you believe about the resurrection of Jesus Christ? What we say about this fact defines our entire faith, our entire perception of other Christians and other people in the world. When we believe in the physical resurrection, we begin to see other Christians as more than their sin. When we believe in the physical resurrection of Christ, past sin is not condemning. Past sin does not haunt us. This is because when we were baptized, every sin committed prior to the Sacrament, is erased from the soul of this person.

“Baptism has six primary effects, which are all supernatural graces:

1. The removal of the guilt of both Original Sin (the sin imparted to all mankind by the Fall of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden) and personal sin (the sins that we have committed ourselves).
2. The remission of all punishment that we owe because of sin, both temporal (in this world and in Purgatory) and eternal (the punishment that we would suffer in hell).
3. The infusion of grace in the form of sanctifying grace (the life of God within us); the Seven gifts of the Holy Spirit; and the Three Theological Virtues.
4. Becoming a part of Christ.
5. Becoming a part of the Church, which is the Mystical Body of Christ on earth.
6. Enabling participation in the sacraments, the priesthood of all believers, and the growth in grace.”

Source 1

Just because someone cannot or refuses to see the fact that you are forgiven, does not mean that you are forgiven any less. Your forgiveness and justification is between you and God. Nobody, not even the Church has the grace to challenge the fact that at your baptism, at your confirmation, you were forgiven and bought with the precious blood of Jesus. Our faith in the physical resurrection has become weakened. We as Christians have allowed ourselves to believe that the blood of Christ did not cover the sins of the faithful, sending them as far as the east is to the west. We are like the pagans of old who believe that the grace of God were something we could work for. We have doubted the transformation of faithful. This is next to the fact that there are reasons for our sins, which make them more or less culpable.

For is it even possible to make the claim, with knowledge of what Christ’s mission was – of what He accomplished on the cross – that because someone has sins in their past, they do not merit the full forgiveness of Christ? Is it possible, with this knowledge, to make the claim that because of the sins of their past, God cannot make use of them now? Is a perfect life, a perfect, sinless past prerequisite for holiness? I wonder what you would have said to the Apostle Paul when He claimed Jesus spoke to him? The fact is, even if we were baptized at birth, we still have sins. Actually, especially if we were baptized at birth, we still have sins. My friends, I am not trying to scare you. But wait for the secret sins. Moses commit murder. David commit adultery. Not one of us has lived a perfect life. Only Jesus. Even with confession. Again, wait for the secret sins. What could be a greater heresy than denying faithful, righteous and repentant people access to a future in the faith because of their past sins? To do so, we should soon expect that none of us will have a future in the Church. This need for spiritual perfection and innocence is as futile as it is impossible. For what purpose is the Sacrament of Reconciliation, after all? God uses the weak, the sinful. It is precisely in this weakness and sinfulness that the transformation occurs. For to Christianity (maybe it’s not the case with worldly temporality) the transformation of heart is all that really is important. Conversions are not always evident to the eye. And there will always be people to disagree with you. But, what does one’s conversion look like? Does he dress exactly alike to you? Does he speak exactly alike to you? Here’s a pertinent, rhetorical question: Does he think exactly alike to you? Rather, does he have the same political beliefs and convictions as to you? I implore you to consider and reassess the true reasons for why these thoughts are coming. Are they rooted in envy? How about bitterness and anger? Maybe a sense of repressed justice even? One thing it is not rooted in is the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

Besides, if one were a sinner, surely the best way to draw him back to Christ would not be to humiliate him every time he went to confession, by broadcasting universally his confession sin matter. This is not going to help him come and find Christ. Rather, it may push one away. Surely, the best way to draw this ‘sinner’ back to Christ would not be to install hidden cameras in his bedroom. If it were for the good of the world or for the good of this one, you would not have to do all of this creepy stuff.

Jesus loves you and has given you enormous grace. Let us not deprive other faithful of their graces they have earned because of the sins of their past. Lest you forget that you too, are a sinner and frequent the Sacrament of Reconciliation. Wait for the secret sins.

 

Sources:

https://www.learnreligions.com/the-sacrament-of-baptism-542130

The Possibility of Vulnerability: A poem by Joshua Hope

How can I know if it's real?

I'll tell you.

Frozen snapshots of reality,

Etched into the walls of my mind.

A reality that whispers,

So distant,

So near, 

As if from another galaxy,

All the while, standing right here,

A reality that whispers in a shout,

'Not until they realize.

Erecting stone fortresses,

Buttresses of my happiness. 

Withholding happiness for sake

of an ersatz righteousness.

In my drive for holiness,

I have forgotten my humanness. 

My humanity, a forgotten, distant

Element of my existence.

I know it's real.

I know it's real because of the 

Lengths I go to keep the need 

Forgotten and distant.

Until it is realized,

I will keep this wall strong.

When they realize, they will realize 

the type of help I need.

The key to my heart, they whisper.

Vulnerability. 

A whisper secretly cries,

'Rescue me. I am so alone.'

Rescue me. If only they knew. 

What happened.

If only I had have told long ago, 

The entire world would have rescued me.

Vulnerability,

My heart's plea. 

I desire to be free.

This fortress overtakes me.

I don't know where to begin.

Or how to navigate this endless sea, 

Without a compass, 

Navigating an endless eternity. 

Then, suddenly,

This eternity, endless sea of time

Lights up as a supernova. 

Possibility.

Remnants of creation, 

Peering back, back in time

To the most eternal galaxy.

You step in.

You take my hand.

You show me how to take a step towards being free.

You open my heart to the possibility of vulnerability.

Yet, whispering, in your love, I cry,

'How can I know if it's real?

Without community?

Without human love guiding me?

Making the love you have for me

True.'

You smile. 

And you say to me,

'Wait and see!'

Open your heart to the possibility of vulnerability.

I will take care of the rest.

Open your heart to the possibility of being free.

Intention

I am sorry for how long this has gone on. I am not postponing this or withholding it. The reason for my disobedience is because my soul was wounded. In my past writings, I wrote that the reason I couldn’t accomplish God’s will sooner was because I was so hurt. I struggled to trust and even felt unworthy. While this is true. These wounds are real and deep. I have come to learn that the problem is a bit deeper.

From a physical plane, it is clear to see how wounded I am. It’s evident in the fact that my legs tremor violently every time I am frightened. It’s not as clear to see how emotionally and spiritually wounded I am. Ever since I gave my life to Christ, in baptism, I have had an internal struggle going on within myself. Because I was so wounded emotionally, I have a difficulty where I vocalize my emotions, what I am feeling and how I judge a situation. You have all heard me criticizing communism in one of these rants. Prior to my journey to the religious community, I had a lot of emotions, which I did not know what to do with or how to express properly. So, I vented. I am sure you have all seen me shouting as I walk down the street. While, this reaction has settled since my stay at the religious community, due to the healing I received there and the good examples of how men interact with conflict, I have always struggled to reconcile my faith with my emotional wounds. I struggled to reconcile my faith, which says to turn the other cheek and forgive, with my emotional wounds. It was even more confusing, I am sure not only for me, that while I was yelling down the street, I could be simultaneously offering my seat on the bus to an older person or giving money to someone on the street. These episodes were most often caused by panic attacks or flashbacks. You have to be able to acknowledge that this situation (what is happening in the world in relation to me) is entirely unpredictable. It cannot be difficult to see why this is all overwhelming and even frightening for me that everyone’s – EVERYONE’s – perceptions about me flip 180degrees every couple of hours. It’s terribly nerve racking. I always felt terribly after having one of these episodes. I have taken it to confession many times. Each time, I wondered why I was not improving. Finally, I took it to confession at my traditional parish in Ottawa. I told the priest what was happening and how I was feeling. He told me that I was inculpable and only vocalizing my thoughts. Merited, there were probably many times where there was sin in what I was doing (again, who can say they are not sinful?) what this priest said to me that day was like healing balm across the wounds of my soul.

I was meant to overcome death during the coma I was in. I spent time in The Kingdom of Heaven. I also spent time in hell. Afterwards, I spent time in Heaven again. Because I didn’t, I am still being burdened by everything I went through as a child. Because I didn’t overcome the trauma from my childhood, going into Heaven, my emotional well-being was still damaged. Some of the angels told me clearly that my emotions, my ability to feel were damaged. So going to Heaven, I didn’t experience the experiences the way that it was intended. To me, it was still burdened by the worries and anxieties in life, of which, even at the age of fifteen, I had more of than most people in life. I have been instructed, and have faith to believe that it is beneficial for me to utter this now, after so many years, because it may offer you some understanding as to why I am still having difficulties.

The reason I struggle so much, in spite of how much the Spirit is already doing for me is because of my unprocessed trauma. I made the decision to overcome this trauma at the end of my life because I feared being hurt again. Unprocessed trauma interrupts the human’s ability to be happy, creative. It’s like carrying a weight around with you, the weight proportional to the traumas you’ve endured. It’s like I have had to learn to do everything with my non-dominant hand. It’s the reason I have struggled so much in life. It’s the reason I struggled with addiction until Christ came to me. It’s the reason I got into collisions and it’s the reason I struggle in prayer. None of this is character trait. None of this is who I am. This is all a symptom of suffering. Suffering, if not endured in Christ, opens a door for the evil one and interrupts our being who God intended us to be. We all experience this on some level. I’m a prophet because of what I have endured. And, not only for the Church. I am smart enough to recognize that God doesn’t need me to speak for things to happen as they will. I’m foolish enough to want to speak anyway. The completion of my mission is not in anything I do or say. Rather it is in the truth about this. The reason I remain silent about certain things is because I want to leave it for the glory of God. I recognize that I have to be in a state of holiness. But even this is complicated and not entirely conscious. The reason I speak is because I get scared because y’all seem to forget when I don’t remind you. Ultimately, everything is for the glory of the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. In glorifying Him, I believe I will be glorified.

I was chosen before my birth. I said yes prior to my birth. The corruptible body weighs down the incorruptible soul. I underestimated the effect of trauma on the developing body and a good Christian foundation. The trauma I endured was too much for my body. Point is, I accepted this mission in Heaven prior to my birth. The reason I cannot say yes now is because I cannot trust. I am wounded. I already possess salvation. I need help overcoming the ritual abuse. These pacts is the reason I cannot trust. Do you hear me, Christians? I need help. What would a Christian response be to hearing that a little baby was given to satan and then raped daily into his twenties? I am going to die because of the accumulation of stress and repressed emotions in my body. I cannot think of a greater reward than physical resurrection in this life. Also, do you think my sins disqualify me from being used by God? Wait for the unveiling of sins. That will happen very soon. Look, I am afraid. Satan has been trying to extinguish me since I was born. I hope there is a chance for me to be quiet. I am afraid it will happen even if I don’t want it to. You’re already proving this in your desire for me to repare for my sins. I can barely walk! Yet you want to kill me! I am terribly traumatized! Yet you want to kill me! Talking about sin, you know a nocturnal emission is not mortal sin. This is and has been what I have struggled with over the past two years. This has also been the great majority of my confession matter, which I take to confession for healing of shame. Interesting to hear different priest’s opinions about that. One priest at my church sighs and hesitates before offering me absolution. Another refuses me absolution. The other tells me sincerely that it is something that is inculpable, that is just a part of nature. My sexuality is quite wounded. It would be foolish to say that my past grievous sins were a mistake in my ministry. Most of them were commit prior to my baptism. What does a baptism mean? We know what this is all about. Bitterness. Envy. Look, I don’t know how to be quiet. You have broken into every single place I can write privately! Name of God! How can I be silent when you are in my brain?

There will be evidence of what I claim. Facts are not truth. You know this to be true simply by the accompanying signs. Honestly, I don’t know why truth is not coming in my case even while every sneeze I had in kindergarten is coming out. It seems a little absurd. Especially if what I am claiming is true. When I was in heaven, I remember the angels saying that I had to try my hardest to accomplish this before too long. Because the longer it went on, the harder it would get on me and on the world. Try hard I did. I am meant to die because of the accumulation of trauma in my body but also as a sort of sacrificial offering for this particular ubiquitous sin. Fact is I was meant to do this over a decade ago. The reason it has dragged on so long is because this contract is still in place. Again, I have heaven. I have the Spirit. But, I can’t overcome this pact myself with the emotions still trapped. I used to think the reason I could not accomplish my mission was because I couldn’t trust. Or I felt unworthy. I am beginning to see that it is because I am still held by this. God always wanted me to die a happy death. All this to say that I am not simply a bystander, sharing his opinion but not doing anything. I feel I can offer some insight into the things I know in the time that has arisen as a result of my late coming. My writings are true. Even though, at times, I regret writing some of it. God love my abusers. They are simply misguided by their own feelings and traumas. God love them. I hope to see you and rejoice with you in heaven when this world is over.

There is a lot more to this than simply my forgiveness. This is not something I am withholding from the world. I tell you I have forgiven thousands of times. This is an incredibly complex issue. I am reaching out for spiritual help. In the past, I believed I was able to handle this issue on my own. I thought I was dealing with it. I have tried approaching SD's in the past about this. They never have much to say about it. Or it's viewed with incredulity. There is a matter related to many confessions I have made over the past couple of years that I feel I have omitted. For the past ten years, I have been fairly comfortable in knowing what God's will is for me. I wrote about it. I was meant to accept the Spirit of God when He first came to me. I wasn’t able to because I was in so much pain. God didn’t give up on me. I was meant to offer my life. This was what was expected of me. Something great was to happen at my death. Please understand that from the first time I was called to have died, I have been in a battle with my body. This is why I wrote a little novella in 2012. When I returned from Florida in 2013, I drove to parks where I was in the Word for hours each day. When I returned from Iceland, I remember laying in my bed for an hour before I fell asleep, repeating over and over, ‘I am ready, Lord’. But I really wasn’t ready. And it isn’t about what you do or say. I sincerely pray that He will be glorified and that your world will find reason to rejoice. I want you to know that I have tried very hard. I have not given up hope. Actually I believe very strongly that what will happen will serve to bring more glory to God. What I am looking for guidance about is the fact that for these ten years, Jesus visits me. He has told me a lot. I am not trying to prove these locutions. In time, people will know. A common word in each vision is that He asks me to open my heart. There is a whole story behind this. In the past, when I have heard this, I have stayed up in prayer these nights. Almost every time these visions happen, without fail, I wake up from deep sleep and disturbed by inculpable sin or I wake and, in my sleep, I am sinning. Once, I woke after experiencing the voice of Jesus and next to me, on my night stand, was placed my little Cross on a rope necklace. My pants were off (I had gone to bed with them on) and folded up and placed at the end of my bed. It is forced and not conscious on my part. For me, I have been chastely celibate for almost four years. The reason I understand that I am having difficulty surrendering to Jesus and His will for me is because of my relationship with my abusers. Maybe it’s connected to the activity of my infancy. I am having such difficulty trusting God because in my developmental years, I got the image in my mind that God did not have my best interest at heart. I’ve been praying six rosaries a day and keep up two novenas at a time. Have tried praying the surrender novena a lot. This is about more than my simple forgiveness.

I know you are testing me. I don’t need to be tested. I know for your sake, this is the right thing to do. I respect this. I know it must be frustrating that you’re not getting the results you are expecting. Or rather hoping for. This will happen. And there are reasons I find it difficult to conform to this world. What I need is the love I never received as a child. When Christ came to me, I was a mess, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I still struggle. But I think I really owe it to myself to stop, look backwards and see just how far I have come. I need to stop feeling badly about who I am. I need to stop seeing everything that is bad and negative about me. I need to recognize that I am a child of God. And that that is paramount to any despair, any trauma and any failure I could have. God fills the gap. I want this. I want to live and love. I don’t know how to. I am learning. And I am fighting so darned hard for the life that I know I deserve. I don’t need love as a reward for something I’ve done or said. I don’t even need reciprocal love. What I need, what I crave is unconditional love. There is only one place from which to get that. What I need is for truth to come out about this. I will be at peace. But because of the nature of my experiences, I need to understand human love in addition to divine love.

I did not want vengeance. I want truth to come out. The circumstances that arise as a result of truth coming out are not my business. I have tried a lot to encourage people that you will rejoice when truth comes out. Without truth, I can forgive. There cannot be true healing without truth. I have no intention of hurting my abusers. Or anyone else for that matter. All I have ever wanted is for the truth to come out. I want truth to come out because of what it means for the world. Still, I wonder why someone might actually want to resist my message. What would be the motivation for not wanting it to be true? It may be private revelation. Bur can you really not see how glorious a revelation it is? It will be a new era of justice, peace, love and hope! When truth comes, you will know that it’s true.

I suffered the worst darkness you could possibly imagine, for God, in God. You will see. This is not favoritism. I am no better than any one of you. I am a terrible sinner. My story is still being revealed to me, unveiling before my eyes. It feels like I didn’t even really start healing until I unearthed certain elements of my story. I will not waste words. I’m sorry if I traumatized anyone in reading my writings about my life. It was hard to get through, I imagine. I am not trumping trauma. I have healed past the point where I have to prove that my trauma is worse than everybody else’s. This is really an indicator that a person has only begun their healing. My previous writings sugarcoat what I really endured. There is a type of evil that is in the world is not really fathomable to most people’s imaginations. My identity split. Many times. To cope with very systematic and targeted traumas throughout my childhood. It began for me, even the rituals, when I was only an infant. You would not believe what happened if I were to tell you. The good human imagination will not even go there. It will all be revealed after my passing. This, though veiled with unspecific language, is the reason why I cannot accept the fullness of the healing of the Holy Ghost now. I cannot accept the fullness of His love because of the ritual traumatic programming. I need help. Christians, I need your help. This is why God blesses me so much. This is why God loves me so much. I endured this in my infancy for Him. Really, it was something I endured for a very long time. Do you think the rituals and programming stopped after I grew up? My handlers were still programming me as long as I was around them. Crazy? Me? How is your memory? This is very real, in spite of the mind’s best attempts to guard against it. I have been through a lot of healing resources. It makes me think I have entered a video game. Some of it is so absurd it’s hard to believe it’s real for me. Jesus can heal me. Jesus will heal me. I need help. Jesus, save me.

If it were for the good of world that I be a simple pilgrim for the next decade, you wouldn’t have the craving to spy on me in my bedroom. You wouldn’t have the craving to hear about even my minor sins. No, you are only looking to humiliate me. May the Lord bless you. And keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace. You need really, laity to ask one question. Why are people (even in the Church) fighting so hard to censor truth? Again, if it were for my own good, for the good of the world, you wouldn’t have to spy on every single thing I do. Ask the question. Christians, I need your help. Christians, I need your help.

You can tell me to get a job. Nobody will really give me a job. I cannot even get factory work. I am not complaining. This all has a very specific end. I am worried about that end. Because what begins in envy is not of God. Any money I have made from my books has all been robbed. Somebody is preventing my new literature from being published. I am not accusing anyone. I am learning to accept the fact that every new individual I encounter believes me to be the worst things a human can possibly be because of the mistakes of my childhood. You think I don't deserve God's blessings because of my sins. I was not raised Christian. Also, wait for the big unveiling. There's a skeleton in everybody's closet. ;) Actually, in spite of this roadblock, I have gone far in writing very epic pieces of literature and creating a small business of my own. What can I say? What’s to be done? I am against a terribly large wall.

God showed me an amazingly beautiful revelation last night regarding myself. He showed me the state of my soul when I entered the world. I am ashamed to say that for decades, I viewed myself even with my intentions of entering the world as bad. God gave me such a beautiful grace in showing me the fact that almost everything I believed about myself that was negative was a lie. All of this to say, I was a perfect and beautiful child when I entered this world. Like every child.

It was wrong of you to record my deliverance session. It’s wrong of you to record my confessions and spiritual directions. Even I recognize that this is not a problem on the level of the priesthood. With something as vulnerable and specific as a deliverance session, you should know that there is a lot more to the story than what was said in that. Sometimes, even the hardest situations merit the most empathy and compassion. I have said all of this before. I deserve this for my sins. But what you have planned is wrong morally. You are listening to a single interview I gave in an extremely private and vulnerable setting. You are listening to a prophecy that was written for another time. The only person you are not listening to is me. I think it’s clear why.

The reason it was wrong of you to record my deliverance session is the same reason it is always wrong to record confessions. I believe it is excommunicable. The fact is that I made myself vulnerable. The decision I made when I was young, I confessed in past writings. Still, it was a decision that I had made when I was very young. Very wounded. Emotionally as well as physically. I was not Christian. I pray that my heart has changed well. I have been to confession countless times about this particular issue. It happened decade prior to my baptism. Check the audio files in my archive. ;) Again, I don’t have a light switch on my life. This is not something that can be forced. Again, I need the love I never received as a child. This is the reason I am unable to accomplish God’s will.

I am not complaining. I am telling my truth. Truth feels like the only thing preventing people from hurting me. Truth is the only leverage I have keeping me safe. This is the reason I keep saying things to random people. I am frightened that you will hurt me further. Truth is the only thing preventing that from happening. If it is a sad, disgusting story, I don’t know what to tell you. If you don’t want to hear it, I don’t know what to tell you. This is my story.

You have to only ask yourself how Christian and based in charity this decision is. On the contrary, it seems remarkably cruel. It is not a wonder that they want to silence me considering what I have against them. Listen to me very carefully, I am not a threat to your power. What I endured as a child, I endured because God asked me to. I am who God says I am. Before I was born, God appointed me and chose me to be His servant. My experiences of Heaven began before my birth. At least now we know why God blesses me so much. It is not Christian to try to hurt someone. It is not Christian to provoke bad in someone to justify even worse behavior. I wonder how a true Christian would react to hearing that an infant was sold and ransomed by evil people to satan? That child having grown, who now lives a righteous life and seeks simply to be consecrated to God. He has eternal life because of the work that he has done. He has been trying so hard to rid himself of this weight. Seems like whatever he does, he cannot shake the pact of sorrow. He learns that he cannot help himself. Is the true Christian’s response going to be to help this child or provoke this terrible curse placed on him in infancy? I was an infant. This was these people’s choice. Not mine. Who is deceived? The one who stands firm to the message of Christ as He instructed and which has been this way for 2000 years? Or is the one who is deceived and who is deceiving the one who is trying to compromise Truth of the Faith with modernism and communism? Two of the biggest heresies of the past. I do not speak heresy. I speak what is common sense. Modernism, communism in the church? If you feel I need to be tested, if you feel I need to make reparation for my sin, I will submit. To me, it seems unbelievably cruel and heartless. Truth is far more valuable than the actions of any person. Truth is unoffendable, uncancellable and unphased by things that happen around it. Truth is truth regardless of whether people subscribe to it or not.

Have had a realization lately. Not to bore you with details but I have realized that I am split personality. I have DID. I am self-diagnosing, yes. First of all, I don’t trust the doctors to tell me the truth about much. Secondly, you know when you know. It explains an awful lot. Including things that are unexplainable in other conditions. DID incorporates cPTSD. It explains the amnesia over most of my life. Forgetting how I did things, ever having conversations, friendships, entire years passed. It explains the different personalities I possess. It is caused by ritual abuse. It’s about more than labels. Because I have been forced into passivity and submission by people when they abuse me, I have a lot of unsaid feelings and emotions. I asked one of my alters recently what I could do to help him. He responded that I should take assertiveness lessons. This made a lot click for me. Realizing that my childhood and the abuse I took then has made me passive and weak. Ironically, it also seems to have made me target for bullies all throughout my life. Learning about assertiveness has opened my eyes a lot. I firmly stand by the fact that the reason I don’t stand up for myself is because God Himself is going to stand up for me. God has His justice. And He will stand up for me personally. Publicly. Soon. But the fact is that, I have a voice. And I owe it to myself to use it. I really believe that God would rather protect a child from enduring the worst horrors than have him endure them for the sake of forgiving later. Our God is a good God. He wants us to be happy. Suffering is not the natural state of things. Nor does God even want us to suffer. He gives us grace and makes His glory abound even more in our suffering. Because He is able to make the best of even the worst. You need to know that God is not a masochist. What has gotten this idea into the Christian mind? Listen, God wants our happiness. Name of God! That I even have to say this. Where are your experts? The saints are wonderful examples of piety. They are examples of ideal faith and holiness. But the lives they lived, do you really think that God would not have spared them from their anguish were He able? It is splendidly true that faith grows exponentially stronger in suffering. Suffering purifies us, in a sense. But it is not the natural state of things. I know that God only wishes that we would come to know Him and His love without ever having to suffer. The only thing God ever asked of me in my childhood was to tell the truth about what was happened to me. God resented that my abusers were doing these things to me. He hated seeing it. He will show you this behavior is unacceptable.

Regardless of the past, I like my life. I like myself. I love myself. I only want to be happy. I wish I had my wife with me. It seems at every step, I am deprived of good things everywhere. I thought that revealing my identity and what I have endured would help the world. I thought it would help you to be compassionate and understanding. For a time, it did. You surprised me with your goodness. I never anticipated it would come to this. World, remember goodness. Remember compassion. Don't let your hearts grow cold. I should have trusted God from the beginning. I wish I knew how. Christians, once more, I need your help. This will not stop at simple feelings of jealousy. One needs to ask themselves from where this jealousy has its roots. From where is it originating? 

God loves you. We have a God who cares infinitely about every human being on this planet. He was the one who crafted you in your ma's womb. He is the one who gave you your beautiful eyes, your conscience and your feelings. He has created you with an infinite array of choices and possibilities. Your future is never set. It is guided. By Him. But we make the choice. Choose love, friends. Choose love.