Catholic Social Teaching:

You may ask what right is it of mine to make comments on these teachings. I ask you what right don't I possess to make comments on these teachings? Far from a condemnation, I simply want to comment for consideration. That people may benefit from my wisdom. Look, I care greatly for my Church. Yes, in spite of how distant I walk - and equally, in spite of how distant she walks from me - I will always be a Traditional Catholic. These are only brief thoughts off the top of my head. Perhaps, Jehovah will lead me towards a deeper analysis in future. But, we need to know that the direction she has traversed is not in God. God's people are distinct from the world. Keep this in mind. But: they've a responsibility to guide and shape the world and its dealings. This is a Christian duty for the institution as well as for the individual. Read. Or don't. God Jehovah shall prove His will. Either way... 

Dignity of human person: Yes, everyone has dignity of life. Not only children. Not only women. Men, white men too. Even ones who are being cancelled because of mistakes in their past. Forgive me, I got a little bitter there. Lol. What I mean to say is that I really like this teaching.

Principle of association: YES! We should be doing more to encourage and facilitate individuals to participate more. This is where evangelization comes in. There are a lot of hurting people these days. Especially in cities who are very broken. Mark my words, the 'city' also is coming to an end.

Common good: Unity and brotherhood are ideas that seem good. It is not sustaining. When ideas clash, divisions arise. Common sense. This common good idea leads towards nwo. Do you not realize that nwo is a prophecy of end times? End times can be postponed, if we desire. Nationalism is the safest bet and a good system. In that it upholds and seeks after the well being and safety of individual populations. Yes, absolutely we must love one another, locally and globally. The best and most efficient way of doing this is by maintaining a little bit of separation.

Solidarity: A nice thought. We are all in the same life together. But, we do not all have the same goals and beliefs in life. This can place us on conflicting paths. Solidarity as a brotherhood and respect for other brothers and sisters is a pinnacle thought. But, the responsibility of the charity and upholding of that dignity lies with the individual. It's why healing of the human heart is so important. It's the reason evangelization is so important. If we care about their souls, we will teach them the truth. Healing of the world lies with healing of the individual. 

Preferential option for the poor: Leviticus tells us not to favor the rich or show special treatment to the poor. Money will come and go. It is not the mark of a man's soul. Their soul is much more important. Besides there are many other means of poverty than only materially. Communism is not Christian. 

Stewardship of Creation: Yes, we should care for our home, the planet. You lack faith if you think that Jehovah does not have the power to completely transform it back to perfection. What you mean, man? Trust in God!

Role of government: Yes.

Participation: Yes.

Rights and responsibilities: Yes.

Economic justice: Yes! This is my favorite teaching. Not that incomes need be distributed equally but that work is dignified and holy. Everyone has a right to work. This is not a criticism but a warning. With the increasing interconnectedness of our world, with the rise of AI and machines, a lot of jobs are going to be lost for the common worker. I've heard the argument that the alleviation of manual jobs (cashiers, factory, etc.) will free up the workforce to employ more important jobs. This neglects the fundamental fact that most of the workforce was employed in manual jobs.

Peace: Yes.

Everyone is equal. Yes, we are all given what we are due. equality exists morally on a level of giving everyone the same opportunity to advance as the next. It is communist and perhaps even amoral to adjust the equality levels of marginalized groups in order to give them a preferential treatment. I lament saying this but I feel a disparagement has arisen in our world today in terms of understanding who is marginalized and who is needing of help. It's evident abundantly in the fact that half of city populations are living on the streets. Those who truly need help are to put it simply, those who need help. Disabled people, wounded-es, yes, the poor. But, I remind you, poverty does not equal holiness.  

Intention

I am sorry for how long this has gone on. I am not postponing this or withholding it. The reason for my disobedience is because my soul was wounded. In my past writings, I wrote that the reason I couldn’t accomplish God’s will sooner was because I was so hurt. I struggled to trust and even felt unworthy. While this is true. These wounds are real and deep. I have come to learn that the problem is a bit deeper.

From a physical plane, it is clear to see how wounded I am. It’s evident in the fact that my legs tremor violently every time I am frightened. It’s not as clear to see how emotionally and spiritually wounded I am. Ever since I gave my life to Christ, in baptism, I have had an internal struggle going on within myself. Because I was so wounded emotionally, I have a difficulty where I vocalize my emotions, what I am feeling and how I judge a situation. You have all heard me criticizing communism in one of these rants. Prior to my journey to the religious community, I had a lot of emotions, which I did not know what to do with or how to express properly. So, I vented. I am sure you have all seen me shouting as I walk down the street. While, this reaction has settled since my stay at the religious community, due to the healing I received there and the good examples of how men interact with conflict, I have always struggled to reconcile my faith with my emotional wounds. I struggled to reconcile my faith, which says to turn the other cheek and forgive, with my emotional wounds. It was even more confusing, I am sure not only for me, that while I was yelling down the street, I could be simultaneously offering my seat on the bus to an older person or giving money to someone on the street. These episodes were most often caused by panic attacks or flashbacks. You have to be able to acknowledge that this situation (what is happening in the world in relation to me) is entirely unpredictable. It cannot be difficult to see why this is all overwhelming and even frightening for me that everyone’s – EVERYONE’s – perceptions about me flip 180degrees every couple of hours. It’s terribly nerve racking. I always felt terribly after having one of these episodes. I have taken it to confession many times. Each time, I wondered why I was not improving. Finally, I took it to confession at my traditional parish in Ottawa. I told the priest what was happening and how I was feeling. He told me that I was inculpable and only vocalizing my thoughts. Merited, there were probably many times where there was sin in what I was doing (again, who can say they are not sinful?) what this priest said to me that day was like healing balm across the wounds of my soul.

I was meant to overcome death during the coma I was in. I spent time in The Kingdom of Heaven. I also spent time in hell. Afterwards, I spent time in Heaven again. Because I didn’t, I am still being burdened by everything I went through as a child. Because I didn’t overcome the trauma from my childhood, going into Heaven, my emotional well-being was still damaged. Some of the angels told me clearly that my emotions, my ability to feel were damaged. So going to Heaven, I didn’t experience the experiences the way that it was intended. To me, it was still burdened by the worries and anxieties in life, of which, even at the age of fifteen, I had more of than most people in life. I have been instructed, and have faith to believe that it is beneficial for me to utter this now, after so many years, because it may offer you some understanding as to why I am still having difficulties.

The reason I struggle so much, in spite of how much the Spirit is already doing for me is because of my unprocessed trauma. I made the decision to overcome this trauma at the end of my life because I feared being hurt again. Unprocessed trauma interrupts the human’s ability to be happy, creative. It’s like carrying a weight around with you, the weight proportional to the traumas you’ve endured. It’s like I have had to learn to do everything with my non-dominant hand. It’s the reason I have struggled so much in life. It’s the reason I struggled with addiction until Christ came to me. It’s the reason I got into collisions and it’s the reason I struggle in prayer. None of this is character trait. None of this is who I am. This is all a symptom of suffering. Suffering, if not endured in Christ, opens a door for the evil one and interrupts our being who God intended us to be. We all experience this on some level. I’m a prophet because of what I have endured. And, not only for the Church. I am smart enough to recognize that God doesn’t need me to speak for things to happen as they will. I’m foolish enough to want to speak anyway. The completion of my mission is not in anything I do or say. Rather it is in the truth about this. The reason I remain silent about certain things is because I want to leave it for the glory of God. I recognize that I have to be in a state of holiness. But even this is complicated and not entirely conscious. The reason I speak is because I get scared because y’all seem to forget when I don’t remind you. Ultimately, everything is for the glory of the Father and His Son, Jesus Christ. In glorifying Him, I believe I will be glorified.

I was chosen before my birth. I said yes prior to my birth. The corruptible body weighs down the incorruptible soul. I underestimated the effect of trauma on the developing body and a good Christian foundation. The trauma I endured was too much for my body. Point is, I accepted this mission in Heaven prior to my birth. The reason I cannot say yes now is because I cannot trust. I am wounded. I already possess salvation. I need help overcoming the ritual abuse. These pacts is the reason I cannot trust. Do you hear me, Christians? I need help. What would a Christian response be to hearing that a little baby was given to satan and then raped daily into his twenties? I am going to die because of the accumulation of stress and repressed emotions in my body. I cannot think of a greater reward than physical resurrection in this life. Also, do you think my sins disqualify me from being used by God? Wait for the unveiling of sins. That will happen very soon. Look, I am afraid. Satan has been trying to extinguish me since I was born. I hope there is a chance for me to be quiet. I am afraid it will happen even if I don’t want it to. You’re already proving this in your desire for me to repare for my sins. I can barely walk! Yet you want to kill me! I am terribly traumatized! Yet you want to kill me! Talking about sin, you know a nocturnal emission is not mortal sin. This is and has been what I have struggled with over the past two years. This has also been the great majority of my confession matter, which I take to confession for healing of shame. Interesting to hear different priest’s opinions about that. One priest at my church sighs and hesitates before offering me absolution. Another refuses me absolution. The other tells me sincerely that it is something that is inculpable, that is just a part of nature. My sexuality is quite wounded. It would be foolish to say that my past grievous sins were a mistake in my ministry. Most of them were commit prior to my baptism. What does a baptism mean? We know what this is all about. Bitterness. Envy. Look, I don’t know how to be quiet. You have broken into every single place I can write privately! Name of God! How can I be silent when you are in my brain?

There will be evidence of what I claim. Facts are not truth. You know this to be true simply by the accompanying signs. Honestly, I don’t know why truth is not coming in my case even while every sneeze I had in kindergarten is coming out. It seems a little absurd. Especially if what I am claiming is true. When I was in heaven, I remember the angels saying that I had to try my hardest to accomplish this before too long. Because the longer it went on, the harder it would get on me and on the world. Try hard I did. I am meant to die because of the accumulation of trauma in my body but also as a sort of sacrificial offering for this particular ubiquitous sin. Fact is I was meant to do this over a decade ago. The reason it has dragged on so long is because this contract is still in place. Again, I have heaven. I have the Spirit. But, I can’t overcome this pact myself with the emotions still trapped. I used to think the reason I could not accomplish my mission was because I couldn’t trust. Or I felt unworthy. I am beginning to see that it is because I am still held by this. God always wanted me to die a happy death. All this to say that I am not simply a bystander, sharing his opinion but not doing anything. I feel I can offer some insight into the things I know in the time that has arisen as a result of my late coming. My writings are true. Even though, at times, I regret writing some of it. God love my abusers. They are simply misguided by their own feelings and traumas. God love them. I hope to see you and rejoice with you in heaven when this world is over.

There is a lot more to this than simply my forgiveness. This is not something I am withholding from the world. I tell you I have forgiven thousands of times. This is an incredibly complex issue. I am reaching out for spiritual help. In the past, I believed I was able to handle this issue on my own. I thought I was dealing with it. I have tried approaching SD's in the past about this. They never have much to say about it. Or it's viewed with incredulity. There is a matter related to many confessions I have made over the past couple of years that I feel I have omitted. For the past ten years, I have been fairly comfortable in knowing what God's will is for me. I wrote about it. I was meant to accept the Spirit of God when He first came to me. I wasn’t able to because I was in so much pain. God didn’t give up on me. I was meant to offer my life. This was what was expected of me. Something great was to happen at my death. Please understand that from the first time I was called to have died, I have been in a battle with my body. This is why I wrote a little novella in 2012. When I returned from Florida in 2013, I drove to parks where I was in the Word for hours each day. When I returned from Iceland, I remember laying in my bed for an hour before I fell asleep, repeating over and over, ‘I am ready, Lord’. But I really wasn’t ready. And it isn’t about what you do or say. I sincerely pray that He will be glorified and that your world will find reason to rejoice. I want you to know that I have tried very hard. I have not given up hope. Actually I believe very strongly that what will happen will serve to bring more glory to God. What I am looking for guidance about is the fact that for these ten years, Jesus visits me. He has told me a lot. I am not trying to prove these locutions. In time, people will know. A common word in each vision is that He asks me to open my heart. There is a whole story behind this. In the past, when I have heard this, I have stayed up in prayer these nights. Almost every time these visions happen, without fail, I wake up from deep sleep and disturbed by inculpable sin or I wake and, in my sleep, I am sinning. Once, I woke after experiencing the voice of Jesus and next to me, on my night stand, was placed my little Cross on a rope necklace. My pants were off (I had gone to bed with them on) and folded up and placed at the end of my bed. It is forced and not conscious on my part. For me, I have been chastely celibate for almost four years. The reason I understand that I am having difficulty surrendering to Jesus and His will for me is because of my relationship with my abusers. Maybe it’s connected to the activity of my infancy. I am having such difficulty trusting God because in my developmental years, I got the image in my mind that God did not have my best interest at heart. I’ve been praying six rosaries a day and keep up two novenas at a time. Have tried praying the surrender novena a lot. This is about more than my simple forgiveness.

I know you are testing me. I don’t need to be tested. I know for your sake, this is the right thing to do. I respect this. I know it must be frustrating that you’re not getting the results you are expecting. Or rather hoping for. This will happen. And there are reasons I find it difficult to conform to this world. What I need is the love I never received as a child. When Christ came to me, I was a mess, emotionally, physically and spiritually. I still struggle. But I think I really owe it to myself to stop, look backwards and see just how far I have come. I need to stop feeling badly about who I am. I need to stop seeing everything that is bad and negative about me. I need to recognize that I am a child of God. And that that is paramount to any despair, any trauma and any failure I could have. God fills the gap. I want this. I want to live and love. I don’t know how to. I am learning. And I am fighting so darned hard for the life that I know I deserve. I don’t need love as a reward for something I’ve done or said. I don’t even need reciprocal love. What I need, what I crave is unconditional love. There is only one place from which to get that. What I need is for truth to come out about this. I will be at peace. But because of the nature of my experiences, I need to understand human love in addition to divine love.

I did not want vengeance. I want truth to come out. The circumstances that arise as a result of truth coming out are not my business. I have tried a lot to encourage people that you will rejoice when truth comes out. Without truth, I can forgive. There cannot be true healing without truth. I have no intention of hurting my abusers. Or anyone else for that matter. All I have ever wanted is for the truth to come out. I want truth to come out because of what it means for the world. Still, I wonder why someone might actually want to resist my message. What would be the motivation for not wanting it to be true? It may be private revelation. Bur can you really not see how glorious a revelation it is? It will be a new era of justice, peace, love and hope! When truth comes, you will know that it’s true.

I suffered the worst darkness you could possibly imagine, for God, in God. You will see. This is not favoritism. I am no better than any one of you. I am a terrible sinner. My story is still being revealed to me, unveiling before my eyes. It feels like I didn’t even really start healing until I unearthed certain elements of my story. I will not waste words. I’m sorry if I traumatized anyone in reading my writings about my life. It was hard to get through, I imagine. I am not trumping trauma. I have healed past the point where I have to prove that my trauma is worse than everybody else’s. This is really an indicator that a person has only begun their healing. My previous writings sugarcoat what I really endured. There is a type of evil that is in the world is not really fathomable to most people’s imaginations. My identity split. Many times. To cope with very systematic and targeted traumas throughout my childhood. It began for me, even the rituals, when I was only an infant. You would not believe what happened if I were to tell you. The good human imagination will not even go there. It will all be revealed after my passing. This, though veiled with unspecific language, is the reason why I cannot accept the fullness of the healing of the Holy Ghost now. I cannot accept the fullness of His love because of the ritual traumatic programming. I need help. Christians, I need your help. This is why God blesses me so much. This is why God loves me so much. I endured this in my infancy for Him. Really, it was something I endured for a very long time. Do you think the rituals and programming stopped after I grew up? My handlers were still programming me as long as I was around them. Crazy? Me? How is your memory? This is very real, in spite of the mind’s best attempts to guard against it. I have been through a lot of healing resources. It makes me think I have entered a video game. Some of it is so absurd it’s hard to believe it’s real for me. Jesus can heal me. Jesus will heal me. I need help. Jesus, save me.

If it were for the good of world that I be a simple pilgrim for the next decade, you wouldn’t have the craving to spy on me in my bedroom. You wouldn’t have the craving to hear about even my minor sins. No, you are only looking to humiliate me. May the Lord bless you. And keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. The Lord bless you and keep you and give you peace. You need really, laity to ask one question. Why are people (even in the Church) fighting so hard to censor truth? Again, if it were for my own good, for the good of the world, you wouldn’t have to spy on every single thing I do. Ask the question. Christians, I need your help. Christians, I need your help.

You can tell me to get a job. Nobody will really give me a job. I cannot even get factory work. I am not complaining. This all has a very specific end. I am worried about that end. Because what begins in envy is not of God. Any money I have made from my books has all been robbed. Somebody is preventing my new literature from being published. I am not accusing anyone. I am learning to accept the fact that every new individual I encounter believes me to be the worst things a human can possibly be because of the mistakes of my childhood. You think I don't deserve God's blessings because of my sins. I was not raised Christian. Also, wait for the big unveiling. There's a skeleton in everybody's closet. ;) Actually, in spite of this roadblock, I have gone far in writing very epic pieces of literature and creating a small business of my own. What can I say? What’s to be done? I am against a terribly large wall.

God showed me an amazingly beautiful revelation last night regarding myself. He showed me the state of my soul when I entered the world. I am ashamed to say that for decades, I viewed myself even with my intentions of entering the world as bad. God gave me such a beautiful grace in showing me the fact that almost everything I believed about myself that was negative was a lie. All of this to say, I was a perfect and beautiful child when I entered this world. Like every child.

It was wrong of you to record my deliverance session. It’s wrong of you to record my confessions and spiritual directions. Even I recognize that this is not a problem on the level of the priesthood. With something as vulnerable and specific as a deliverance session, you should know that there is a lot more to the story than what was said in that. Sometimes, even the hardest situations merit the most empathy and compassion. I have said all of this before. I deserve this for my sins. But what you have planned is wrong morally. You are listening to a single interview I gave in an extremely private and vulnerable setting. You are listening to a prophecy that was written for another time. The only person you are not listening to is me. I think it’s clear why.

The reason it was wrong of you to record my deliverance session is the same reason it is always wrong to record confessions. I believe it is excommunicable. The fact is that I made myself vulnerable. The decision I made when I was young, I confessed in past writings. Still, it was a decision that I had made when I was very young. Very wounded. Emotionally as well as physically. I was not Christian. I pray that my heart has changed well. I have been to confession countless times about this particular issue. It happened decade prior to my baptism. Check the audio files in my archive. ;) Again, I don’t have a light switch on my life. This is not something that can be forced. Again, I need the love I never received as a child. This is the reason I am unable to accomplish God’s will.

I am not complaining. I am telling my truth. Truth feels like the only thing preventing people from hurting me. Truth is the only leverage I have keeping me safe. This is the reason I keep saying things to random people. I am frightened that you will hurt me further. Truth is the only thing preventing that from happening. If it is a sad, disgusting story, I don’t know what to tell you. If you don’t want to hear it, I don’t know what to tell you. This is my story.

You have to only ask yourself how Christian and based in charity this decision is. On the contrary, it seems remarkably cruel. It is not a wonder that they want to silence me considering what I have against them. Listen to me very carefully, I am not a threat to your power. What I endured as a child, I endured because God asked me to. I am who God says I am. Before I was born, God appointed me and chose me to be His servant. My experiences of Heaven began before my birth. At least now we know why God blesses me so much. It is not Christian to try to hurt someone. It is not Christian to provoke bad in someone to justify even worse behavior. I wonder how a true Christian would react to hearing that an infant was sold and ransomed by evil people to satan? That child having grown, who now lives a righteous life and seeks simply to be consecrated to God. He has eternal life because of the work that he has done. He has been trying so hard to rid himself of this weight. Seems like whatever he does, he cannot shake the pact of sorrow. He learns that he cannot help himself. Is the true Christian’s response going to be to help this child or provoke this terrible curse placed on him in infancy? I was an infant. This was these people’s choice. Not mine. Who is deceived? The one who stands firm to the message of Christ as He instructed and which has been this way for 2000 years? Or is the one who is deceived and who is deceiving the one who is trying to compromise Truth of the Faith with modernism and communism? Two of the biggest heresies of the past. I do not speak heresy. I speak what is common sense. Modernism, communism in the church? If you feel I need to be tested, if you feel I need to make reparation for my sin, I will submit. To me, it seems unbelievably cruel and heartless. Truth is far more valuable than the actions of any person. Truth is unoffendable, uncancellable and unphased by things that happen around it. Truth is truth regardless of whether people subscribe to it or not.

Have had a realization lately. Not to bore you with details but I have realized that I am split personality. I have DID. I am self-diagnosing, yes. First of all, I don’t trust the doctors to tell me the truth about much. Secondly, you know when you know. It explains an awful lot. Including things that are unexplainable in other conditions. DID incorporates cPTSD. It explains the amnesia over most of my life. Forgetting how I did things, ever having conversations, friendships, entire years passed. It explains the different personalities I possess. It is caused by ritual abuse. It’s about more than labels. Because I have been forced into passivity and submission by people when they abuse me, I have a lot of unsaid feelings and emotions. I asked one of my alters recently what I could do to help him. He responded that I should take assertiveness lessons. This made a lot click for me. Realizing that my childhood and the abuse I took then has made me passive and weak. Ironically, it also seems to have made me target for bullies all throughout my life. Learning about assertiveness has opened my eyes a lot. I firmly stand by the fact that the reason I don’t stand up for myself is because God Himself is going to stand up for me. God has His justice. And He will stand up for me personally. Publicly. Soon. But the fact is that, I have a voice. And I owe it to myself to use it. I really believe that God would rather protect a child from enduring the worst horrors than have him endure them for the sake of forgiving later. Our God is a good God. He wants us to be happy. Suffering is not the natural state of things. Nor does God even want us to suffer. He gives us grace and makes His glory abound even more in our suffering. Because He is able to make the best of even the worst. You need to know that God is not a masochist. What has gotten this idea into the Christian mind? Listen, God wants our happiness. Name of God! That I even have to say this. Where are your experts? The saints are wonderful examples of piety. They are examples of ideal faith and holiness. But the lives they lived, do you really think that God would not have spared them from their anguish were He able? It is splendidly true that faith grows exponentially stronger in suffering. Suffering purifies us, in a sense. But it is not the natural state of things. I know that God only wishes that we would come to know Him and His love without ever having to suffer. The only thing God ever asked of me in my childhood was to tell the truth about what was happened to me. God resented that my abusers were doing these things to me. He hated seeing it. He will show you this behavior is unacceptable.

Regardless of the past, I like my life. I like myself. I love myself. I only want to be happy. I wish I had my wife with me. It seems at every step, I am deprived of good things everywhere. I thought that revealing my identity and what I have endured would help the world. I thought it would help you to be compassionate and understanding. For a time, it did. You surprised me with your goodness. I never anticipated it would come to this. World, remember goodness. Remember compassion. Don't let your hearts grow cold. I should have trusted God from the beginning. I wish I knew how. Christians, once more, I need your help. This will not stop at simple feelings of jealousy. One needs to ask themselves from where this jealousy has its roots. From where is it originating? 

God loves you. We have a God who cares infinitely about every human being on this planet. He was the one who crafted you in your ma's womb. He is the one who gave you your beautiful eyes, your conscience and your feelings. He has created you with an infinite array of choices and possibilities. Your future is never set. It is guided. By Him. But we make the choice. Choose love, friends. Choose love.

A Glimpse in Faith

I     could see the future from when I was a small child. Two futures. Contrasting. Like images on contrary pages of a storybook. It’s like the lights and sounds of the future city were etched into the eyelids of my soul, my youth. I remember reading one of the prophets, who say that prophets who prophecy prosperity are not true. That there will be need to be skeptical of these prophets more than even those who predict God’s wrath. Something to this effect. My brain racked around this. I suppose we all grow up and are raised with our own unique imprint, with our own understanding of ourselves and of the world. Perhaps this was also the case when the prophet who wrote this conjectured. Surely, there was a place for God’s wrath in the past. Particularly before Jesus came. Don’t get me wrong, I am not saying that His justice has come to an end. But surely, God does not only desire bad times and predict evil for us. Does He? This feels weird for me to say because if anyone should have a pessimistic outlook for the future, surely it would be me considering simply what I have endured. If anyone had a reason to be cynical about life and God and society, it would be me. Yet, how is it that I – and I’ve got to admit, at times it feels like I am completely alone in this belief – want so desperately to believe that God can fix everything. The climate. The nation state. The Church. The beauty. The true. The family. The child. The parent. The heart. The very heart. Name of God. For me, I cannot fathom how God could not give His children a chance to repent before calling upon judgement. I have been given a hard but great grace of seeing other people through the eyes, which God sees them with. Through these eyes, I see a wounded people, who are as wounded and lost as I once was, looking and searching under every stone and straw for the place from which to drink this life giving water. I see this people who have lay aside God for their money, for their technology, for their lusts and passions. When I think of myself, I see my heart. But I cannot think of a future far beyond the moment in which I am living. However, when I think of the world, the future of true society, my imagination goes wild. First, I see a true rejoicing. I see a massive jubilation and prayerful wonder that could only really arise from the fact that God Himself has made Himself known. I see everything restored. Restored to what? Restored to the way the world was intended to be. When God first created her. A world where people walk in the light. A world where the presence of God is known, revered and loved. A world in which the human life is cherished, nurtured and cared for. People are misunderstanding the effect that truth will have. When the truth about this comes out, a lot will be revealed to you.

Healing is coming. It will take many forms. Physical. Though, I do not have confirmation of this, I believe a lot of illness will be healed. If not instantly, the encouragement and validation of faith that is coming will certainly set those on a path toward healing whose ailment is a matter of foundation. I feel like there will be an undoing of people’s emotional wounds. I feel like collected and repressed trauma of millions, in the blink of an eye, will be healed. As if only by the touch of God. Yes, my friends. Perhaps the greatest healing that will come will arise from the awareness of our state of being, our state of grace before God. What a marvelous grace it will be. It will be difficult for some, no doubt. For when we realize how our actions, behavior and speech have affected others, what other reaction could there be except shock? When people realize their sin, there will be a restoration simply in this. Even for Christians. Don’t you realize? Many of the identity politics of today and even economic politic are based inherently in bitterness, envy and pride. How will the abasement of self, influence the world to see the other as not an enemy? How will this enlightenment encourage the world to see the identity and soul of their neighbor? How will it inspire the world to view those who are truly wounded and weak? Yes, my friends. Healing is coming. When we begin again to see life as less of a competition, less through the rose-colored glasses that have been placed across our field of vision by the media, by the movies, by our bitterness, the more we will seek to see our brother with eyes of love. These glasses removed, we will again see clearly. We will not only see. We will see the truth.

While it is not forefront on my mind, I truly believe that there will be a sincere and honest period of peace and unity among the nations. Let us not mince words, the purpose of a leader is and has always been to place the needs and welfare of the people under their patronage first. A time is coming, where power will fill the hands of leaders who care steadfastly about their people. Western Civilization, including the true merits of freedom and economy will be restored, healed and glorified. Even the wounds, which the West has attained, including their sins, will be patched over with dressing and atoned for. Again, to return to the thought that when the abasement comes, people will not be so quick to judge and condemn one another. Individually and collectively. Where does all of this political and economic restoration come from? Where is its source? The answer is simple. It is from its rooting and foundation in love. When God comes first, morality follows closely behind. There will be no more lies. No more deceit or powerful taking advantage of the small. Either in their innocence, their trusting or their loving. Again, the child will be exalted in this new world. Christian leadership is not like leadership of the world. It’s not like running a country. It’s not built upon a framework of authority and fear. It’s not a dictatorship. Because to be a leader, by Christ’s standards means to love, it means to serve. Sometimes, Christian leadership means putting ourselves last so that the flock can have what is right.

By the entire grace of God, every effect of this deceit will restore and return to the way it once was, under more prosperous times. All forms of trafficking will cease. All that happens in the darkness, overwhelming light will be shed upon. The mentally ill and homeless will be given salvation (if they desire it), blessing and healing. For we will discover, in a single instant the root cause and reason for the advent of such enormous rates of poverty and homelessness. That root cause will be touched as if by the finger of God. Of course, all of the positive effects that are coming have to be accepted. Should a soul not desire this mercy and healing, God cannot force you to accept it. This is the reason we should all be praying. I appeal to you all to start praying. To ready your hearts for this! People will know truth and will not tolerate violence, lying and rioting anymore. This will arise from an immediate change and healing to the world’s self-worth. When healing comes, even Christians will know that to idly lay back and allow wolves to tear them apart, over the course of ten years may not be rooted in love for the self. What else? Oh, yes! Corporations and particularly justice will cleanse. Prisons and psych wards will heal and restore and be once again used for their original intent. Race relations will heal and restore. This again, will be based on the tenet that we are all sinners, would we desire to see it. My dear friend, Martin Luther King Jr’s words will become a reality that people will not be judged by their skin color but instead by the integrity and the quality of their character. I know that he longs for it. Still. There will be justice. But it will be bearable. For God desires it to be so. Indeed, every way that darkness has advanced over these past decades will be reset. Families will heal and reconcile. For at the cause of the division and hurts are wounds that are incredibly sensitive, which I firmly believe will be dressed and nurtured completely and instantly at the restoration. At the root of this restoration and healing of the family, will be the miracle of the touch of love. For again, when people see each other and interact with each other lovingly, with care and the utmost of attention, all bitterness and hatred will be evaporated. This bitterness, this hatred, the crown of the evil one, who exists to sow discord and rejoices in the discord and misery of families, by the grace of God and if He wills, will be healed almost instantaneously. When the children of the world realize that the parents have hurt and fought the same battles as they do now. When the parents realize that the children are living and breathing creatures, who hurt, feel and have their own destinies. When they realize that they are entirely in this battle together, peace will come. Not only peace. Peace abundant. Peace personified. Personified by love and joy and hope and tenderness and forgiveness and mercy. What a beautiful existence that day will be for the family! Selfishly, I also prophesy that the Jays will beat the Brewers in the WS, baseball fan as I am. And of course, who can predict the outcome of a sports match? I can’t. I only desire this to be the case. And it cannot hurt to offer encouragement and charisma to the players. Besides, they deserve it. It’s been a while! In the next seven or eight years, the Jays will win!

There is little doubt that the climate of the world is changing. I remember even when I was a child, the trees and wildlife being extremely more abundant. Maybe it was only through the eyes of a child, and were I to return, I would see the things through different eyes. I remember being pushed along in my stroller, when very young and in Florida, seeing the incredibly animus insect world on the ground below me. This is proof of nothing. However, what I also remember was the extremely lush vegetation state over. Had there been consistent hurricanes since, which pummeled the state and over just thirty years reduced the nature? No, it has certainly changed. Climate change is real. However, it is its cause, which is uncertain. It is easy to see the reason why a lot of people want to believe that we as inhabitants of this world could have such an impact on global climate. To think anything else would be to acknowledge the truth that sin exists and has real consequences. Can you not see? The cause of the climate change the world is experiencing is human sin. It is God’s response to it. I cannot remember where it was in the Bible. The last time I read the Bible through, I came across a number of verses stating how the lands surrounding modern day Sahara (Egypt particularly) were extremely lush. Name of God, had I saved the verses location! I will search for it. This is an update. I found one of them in the Book of Exodus. Ex 10:15: “They covered the ground until it was black with them; they ate everything that the hail had left, including all the fruit on the trees. Not a green thing was left on any tree or plant in all the land of Egypt.” Of course, this passage speaks of the locusts, which were a plague sent by God due to the pride of the Pharaoh in persisting to persecute the chosen people of God. Can you not see? God has control of the climate. He wants to make the world lush and vibrant again. And His mercy is great. With people’s ability to repent, great changes will come. With the restoration, I pray this repentance, worldwide will come. I don’t have reason to believe this would not be the case. I simply know that it is essential to it. While it would be encouraged that the world would rejoice, it is not necessary. This truth will come, one way or the other. People can try their hardest to prevent it. It might be like fighting against the goad.

As for the Church, His beloved Bride, I predict that a restoration is coming. I can really only pray the exact same for His Church as I prayed for the world. For the Church is like a rudder, it’s like the captain of the ship that is the world. For what happens in the Church will lead and direct the world. Does this say something about the state of the Church? I didn’t say anything. It speaks for itself. What I can say is that there will be a unity in Christ unlike anything that has been seen for millennia. And only on a grander, grander scale. Mary and the saints will be glorified. Jehanne, my beloved Jehanne will be glorified and filled with joy! The Latin Mass, Traditional Catholicism will be glorified. Graces for those in purgatory will flourish and fall in abundance as of rain in the jungle atop this transitory spiritual existence. I must admit that at a time, I truly believed in my heart that those who had been condemned to hell would receive a second chance. Who am I to even suggest this? I have learned that the concept is deemed a heresy by the Church. Allow me to explain my reasons for desiring to believe this in the past. For while, I believe that there are certain reasons for people to go to hell, I believe that while it is often just, it is not God’s choice that those be sent there. Rather, it is a choice of the individual and the individual alone. I have always struggled with the belief that one who had commit suicide would be condemned to hell. Especially after hearing a Robin William’s voice from this plane when I was a child. I don’t know whether these souls will go to hell when they die. All I know is that the spiritual disposition of the soul following making of a choice of that sort, sets one up for despair. This despair, unless one is firmly grounded in love, can be the catalyst for a soul to not choose God. Really, what are the chances that these souls are grounded in love if they are making choices like these? This is a reason for the restoration. Again, I don’t know about the souls in hell. What I do know is that when this restoration comes, a spiritual reinvigoration and rejuvenation will occur. Why wouldn’t God desire to save such as these? These who, with new insight about the triumph and victory of the Cross, which will come, may desire a different outcome than the one they chose through this despair. The same Holy Ghost that will restore people to physical health will be the Holy Ghost that will by His grace, reach into the darkest places and illumine EVERYTHING! I don’t know. I am not arrogant enough to discount it. Neither am I foolish enough to preach the extremely real possibility that God will give another chance to even those who made poor choices based on a lack of information, shall we call it.

I imagine a world in which children, people who are with disabilities, emotional and physical, wounded people, elderly will be revered and honored with a dignity that is pure. Because, honestly, is this not the badge, the ultimate token of the health of a society? In how it treats its vulnerable, its smallest, its weakest? Let us remember the vast complexity, indeed resilience of childhood. Though they are resilient, they are vulnerable as well. What is done to them and around them affects them greatly. I simply want to encourage you tonight. Children are so precious. Life is so incredibly precious and beautiful. They are also incredibly vulnerable and impressionable. We need to care for them. We need give them a future, which they can laid hold of firmly and confidently, with both hands, saying, “thank you for giving me life. I exist today, because at a point in my existence, somebody (many people) decided that I was worthy of life and of the investment in my life. Just like how when you are married and have children, you yourself lose touch with that inner child, even within yourself. You are, in a moment, transformed from the child to the caregiver. From the girl, from the boy into the woman, into the man. And in this process, we lose out on the spiritual. For is it not true that the child is and possesses a deeper connection to the spiritual realm than the adult? Is this not the path intended by spiritual planes? How sorrowful the thought that generations have passed and millennia have passed, increasingly, more and more recently, the caregiver is stunted in growth, hindered in its transition from child to adult. How sorrowful that we have children raising children. This is not a sweeping statement. It might as well be. A time will come when we will have the choice to see things in love. Through eyes clouded over with compassion and filial brotherhood. The way we treat our children, our vulnerable is really the most important thing in a civilized society. No, my friends, people are not dispensable. Economy does not matter. Politics does not matter. Science and the arts matters not. If we cannot get that fundamental building block down that how we as society treat the small, the weak in our world is paramount, everything will topple. What I am advocating is a change of heart. A change in the heart of society and the world. It is more than possible. I have seen it. This is where our utopia is born. When this happens, the need and desire for a political utopia will be irrelevant. When the heart of the world is healed, there will be little need for all of that.

For the root of many of the emotional and spiritual and physical problems of today is in shame. Actually, shame is like a tent, a synthesis of repressed emotions. For when we as children, or even as adults experience a trauma, something horrible, which we cannot process – something, which we find too terrible to process in the moment it is happening – we can fragmentize this experience. We put it away in a partition of the mind, somewhere where it will not cause us harm. To be blunt, we simply repress the fact that it is happening. Along with this, we repress all emotions connected to the event. Hence, the experience did not not occur. It is simply our reaction to that event that we forget. Still, the impact, emotional and spiritual still have an effect on us. We can be led like slaves of our own emotions, even while led by Christ, because of these unprocessed emotions. These emotions, undealt with can have an effect upon our behavior, our attitude, our very actions. For while, if we have experienced something, which makes us angry, which we have not been permitted to feel, even if we do not remember it, the anger is still there. We are forced to vent this anger subconsciously as opposed to practically. This is the cause of many problems today. When the restoration comes, it will be like God Himself has chosen to dwell amongst us. God does not see people for their sins. For what they do or say. He sees people for what they can be. He sees us for our potential.

This doesn’t take the pressure off of us. We still need to get right with Him. This is the problem. A wounded heart. Do you think that I am special in the sense that I was raised for destruction? I wish it were the case. Yes, I am unique in how early these plans were enacted for me. In that there were even ceremonies, ridiculous as they were. No, my friends. I weep when I think that there are generations upon generations whom have been the prime target of the evil one. These who do not know a better way. Church, do you think God despises the world? No! In fact, these are all His flock. These are all His sons and daughters. Do you not think He cares what happens in their future? He wants them to return to Him. These poor people, even if they have not experienced the level of trauma and spiritual propaganda I was indoctrinated with, are lost. They are sought after by the evil one, roaring around like a lion. Influenced by the false promises of pleasure, comfort, lied to by some of the media, by the movies, by the music they listen to. Tempted by the allure of sin. Yes, these are sinful, they have sinned. And yes, most of them endure trauma and suffering based conscience manipulation as well. Nobody is immune. They do not know any better. Church. Can you not see? These poor people, these children of God, these prodigal children are so lost, so despairing. Never stop evangelizing! Until the last day. We do not know who we may save in the process. Is my spirit valuable? I do not know. Do you know where I was? In this world, do you know what was in my future? This shows one thing. Redemption is never out of the picture. God desires even the worst man or woman you can possibly imagine. God desires these hearts even more than the hearts He already has. The wolves of the world are seeking these. One by one they are falling. Without ever knowing the true nature of God and His Son, our Lord. All they hear is a twisted and vile diatribe about Him and His nature from a media, which seeks not their good. These diatribe are perpetuated by people who cling onto their empty ideas and retold with ever more bitterness. This is how atheism spreads. Certainly, there are weeds amongst them. Will you allow this to prevent you from reaching out to a true lost child of the Kingdom? I have seen personally how trauma and unprocessed suffering can twist our consciences, can root and build resentment. Even in Christ, this can happen. We need process our emotions! I can guarantee that half of the people who consider themselves atheist have tender hearts, if shown the nature of God, the nature of truth and the nature of love, would fall to their knees in repentance and awe of God. I have said before that I personally prophesy that a lot of these, the hardest of hearts now, the sinners amongst us, will be God’s greatest of saints in the coming days. These do not know better. Yes, of course there are evil people in the world. There are those who in their hard heartedness, are firm and steadfast in this hate. These are the ones who act in darkness. But we need have faith that God will deal with them. Let us also have faith that very soon a day is coming when the true intention of the heart of the man will be bare as a peeled kiwi. There will no longer be a wonder about the true nature of people. Let us also have faith that our desire to evangelize and save these sinners who are lost, will be enormously rewarded. I pray for these every single day. I pray for these, I live for these. If you do not think that these deserve a second chance at repentance, I wonder about the state of your heart. Of course, this is not a call, Christian, for us to conform to the world or to love the things of the world. I think I have made it pretty clear that I feel that the true Christian Way is quite set apart from the world. We need to help these poor people. These poor souls who are stranded and shipwrecked in the middle of the ocean. These sorrowful souls who are drowning in the sea and clutching, reaching upward, grasping at anything. They can see you as they take their last and final breath. Will you help them?

I am thankful for atheists. Used to be one myself. I didn’t know any better. Thankful for them only because a lot of them are going to be the future generation of saints. Please do not take offence at this examination that follows. I simply desire to show you the truth. What’s the reason for your atheism? Let’s analyze. You could believe in science. Please do not forget that even a belief in science is an expression of faith in the unknown. There is absolutely zero concrete examples of evidence for evolution and big bang theory. Ultimately, these occurrences happened so long ago that it would be impossible to say with certainty that they happened. Science is ultimately the search for truth. What is truth? God is truth. Science actually proves word for word, the Bible! Should you desire to see this. You could be wounded. I was in exactly this position. As a matter of fact, I would venture to say I was the most wounded of all. I have gone through every single argument in my head. How could God allow children to starve in Africa? How could a good God allow bad people to flourish and good people to hurt? How could God allow war? The answer to each question is contained in the words: this is not the way God intended it to be. Then, you ask, why doesn’t God intervene? He did. He did the most beautiful thing anyone could imagine. He did what He was able to do. He offered His own Son as a payment for us to be free. Telling you, once you experience the love of Jesus and the peace this offers, every wound is a thing of the past. You could be angry. Take it from me. While God does not take away your anger and other emotions because He respects them, He redirects them, funneling them toward love and charity. Open your heart. I was the hardest heart in the world. There is no wound, no pain, no fear He cannot address. There is no tear He does not wipe away. I praise my God for picking me up from the self-centeredness of atheism and giving me the hug of hope. Don’t you realize how much God loves even the lot of you? He sees fully how your hardness of heart was formed. He wants to heal you. He wants you to be free. He wants to offer you justice. You’re the reason He sent me. I should mention that some of these ideas, which contradict atheism are not entirely my own. They have been integrated into my mind and expressed through my own words. You could also feel despaired and far too gone in your sin. Is this any of you? Let your dear and precious hearts be at peace. If you should desire it, God also desires to wash that sin away in the water and blood, which pour from His pierced heart. You know, God showed me something extremely valuable in my conversion experience. I saw lights, I spoke an unknown language at the time, I felt an overwhelmingly beautiful current of love pass like electricity through my veins that day. This was all beautiful. The most beautiful part of it was the revelation, which was revealed to me. God showed me this day the relation between what I had been through, the sins commit against me and the wounds that I had suffered and the things that I myself had done, the sins I myself had commit and the wounds that I had caused. God showed me how suffering, unprocessed hurts and childhood formation influence and stumble people to commit sin. I haven’t been a saint in my past. I have many flaws. I have hurt many people. God sees beyond this. God sees me for who I have the potential to be. Because God loves me with a love that we cannot comprehend. An otherworldly love. If this is you, if you feel you are too far gone for God to love, I plead with you to turn upon yourselves with compassion and mercy. Forgive yourself! God does! God wants you to be free. And He is offering this freedom to you today. Today! This minute! This second! All you have to do is reach out. Open your hand. Extend your fingers and gaze. Open your heart and let it all out! God saves you today. Name of God. Upon you be healing and mercy and forgiveness. God loves you. Even more when you are distant from Him!

I sought out to investigate how to repair my Roman Missal today. I really did not want to get a new one. This one is special to me. I have been caring for it but it is quite old, I imagine. I watched a video about book repairs and it was evident to me in this video just how much we as a world have learned together. In passing this information onto the next generation. I, personally, had no idea how to fix this Missal of mine. When I saw this video, it became apparent to me just how much love and care went into the process. When we preserve the past, tradition, we are not only preserving old rules and obscure ideas. We are preserving the love, the lives and the beautiful ideas of our forefathers, those who came before us, who invested their purpose into these crafts, these trades, these ideas. I am thankful for these ideas and trades, things, which were learned by the application of love and of attention. It is not only in religion. This is a ubiquitous concept! Architecture done without love does not measure up. Medicine done without love doesn’t heal. Science without love at its center is not true. Can you not see? Love is the answer! Love is returning! Do you feel it? One would think, with all of this technology, with all of the modern graces which our world has been given, it would be an easier thing to attain. In fact, we are farther from each other than ever. Even living within cities, stacked one upon the other, we are miles apart emotionally and spiritually. In the time I spent at the religious community, I learned how to do everything in love. Every little act we do, done in love. How do we achieve this? It’s in our foundations. We need to return. Love is returning! Do you feel it? It’s going to burn away the chaffe! Love is returning! Do you feel it? Oh yes, it will burn. It will burn. Our world, in one moment will realize, will recognize that we are all connected. Do you feel it? Our world is going to be healed. Our world is going to be touched by the finger of God. Not a soul would dare say in that day that His presence is not completely amongst us. God will wipe every tear away. God will show us again how to love. But not before He shows us the reason we have lost that love in the first place. When this happens, the path to healing will be given. In time, we’ll be dancing in the streets all night!

I also know that we are living in a particularly wounded generation. Not just in terms of sin. We have all been through a lot. With wounds that need healing with the most tender of touches. It requires literally a hero to be called to sacrifice this for their flock. It has most certainly been done. The answer is in love. When we discover Christ’s love, this physical love doesn’t mean as much. On the contrary, if we don’t know physical love, how can we know God’s love? Here, I speak from experience. Parental love reminds us that we are safe, grounded and nurtured. Too often this day, is that love deprived of children. But I look at brothers and sisters at the religious community I stayed at. I look at the pastor of my church. They have obviously clung on to the secret. The way, so to speak. It is evident in the very movement of their arms, the way they form their words. I long for this. I long for this. Even over the physical intimacy that the world offers. Still, I like so many others, am wounded in this exceptionally sacred place. I would easily say that I am the most wounded this world has ever seen in this area. Not to brag or to merit a medal. On the contrary, to show you why I struggle. With this sacred wound, there are in fact many remedies. At the head, Christ. The second most important is play. Our world has become incredibly uptight. Our reactions are hypervigilant and overly sensitive. We react from ourselves, within and from without from a deep place of hurt. Our world needs to relearn what it is to be children. With ourselves and with each other. This can take many forms. The most important form is caring for and nurturing the wounds of others in the way that the wound has been caused. Sounds obscure? Don’t worry. It will be clear soon enough.

I suppose I am urodivoi. Still, I am ashamed thinking of the choice I made regarding the beautiful woman I haven’t gotten to spend the past two years with. I am thankful for Jesus. He loves you all with an infinite love. Jesus is the reason. You are not your sins. You are more than that. You are good people who have been hurting too long. Jesus sees beyond your sins. Soon, God will dwell amongst you. As in the Tabernacle. God will be your God and you will be His people. God is watching your each and every move with the tenderest of love and care. This is a reason not to sin. This is a reason to know that God’s justice is very real. It is also reason to rejoice. God is in love with you so much. Trust Him!

Thankful for who God says I am. Thankful for the fact that truth will be a stir up. Thankful for the good times that are coming. Thankful for God who is going to make it happen. Thankful for the fact that after the difficult times, always comes good times. Nurture your precious faiths. God wants the world, particularly His little flock who remain worshipping Him, loyal to Him, to know this: God will wipe away every tear. God sees you. Your prayer, your hard work is paying off. Very soon, you will be rewarded, little ones of the true God. Very soon. A little while longer, He says to you. Hold on, a little while longer. God’s love is immoveable. Nothing can shed this love. Strengthen your resolve in this love. Around us, surrounding us, the world, the harvest, nothing matters. Stand firm in the love of your Father. You are His children. God is coming soon. Very soon. World, things are going to be better for you soon. Very soon.

I don’t feel called to big things. I just want to be free to tell my story and use the voice God gave me. Nobody has told me to be quiet. I feel very weak and small. Still, I cannot stop talking. The SDs I have spoken to about this just say something about the fact that when they see my life they see the life of St Benedict Joseph Labre. I don’t know what it means! Again, I wonder at what it means that people are trying to censor me as though my words are important. The true revelation – or rather, revolution – will arise from the circumstances surrounding the truth emerging. Again, it has not to do with my message. I could be silent and truth would still come. I simply want to prepare you. It seems unfair to deprive the world of something this good because of me. Because of my sin. What might be the motivation for resistance to this message? Let us ask ourselves, sincerely and honestly, why might someone choose not to want the content of this revelation to be manifest in the world? Private revelation, though it is. For now at least.

The point of this? When we discover that we have been lied to, targeted and sought after for destruction, what will be the soul’s first response? Will it be one of passivity and docility, simply allowing the current of abuse to continue? Or will it be one of righteous indignation? Will it be a voice that says ‘you cannot do this to me. I am alive! And I will not put up with this. Because I deserve to live. I deserve better!’ I hope to inspire this voice of righteous indignation with you, Christian, secular man and woman. So that you will see that while there are certainly forces that roam about seeking your harm, there is a God, a true, living and breathing God who cares for you, desires your health and wellness, who desires nothing but your happiness and love. You don’t have to support these wolves who seek to devour you. You have a right to exist. Ordained by God Himself. For it was He who crafted you and formed you in your mother’s womb for abundance of life.