Modesty:

A controversial topic. One which has perhaps been already deemed to have been settled. With the advent of modernity and liberation of sexes and genders, it has been asserted over the past decades, and as if by scientific fact that we have evolved in leaps and bounds since the oppressive patriarchy of our past. It is almost as if someone or something has been seeking to sow division. I posit that the reality of the information we have been receiving and the entertainment we have been consuming has frustrated our sense of justice and complicated our understanding of the love of the self. This, thereby has affected our love for others in a negative light. In this age of the oppressive stance of our past and the vile, cruel standards of some who seek to chain certain genders in their freedom, Could it be that the media of the past hundred years has created elements of division and seeming flagrant offence where there was in fact none. Merited, true oppression exists. It still exists. I just warn you not to confuse justice with vengeance. 

Culture, media, parents, politics pressure women and men to behave, speak, think in certain ways. Our true selves, through the wounds and traumas we experience become stifled. We often adapt personas and masques as defense mechanisms, which are often reactions, symptomatic of those wounds. Women and men are beautiful just as they are. And we should strive to see what's under these masques. The culture says people are beautiful because of the way they dress, the way their body looks. Really, it says that women are only beautiful with makeup. I would rather see a person comfortable. Maybe it's a matter of personal opinion. From my understanding, and it is an assertion, though based on extra-Biblical text, ie the Book of Enoch, it was the fallen angels who instructed humanity in cosmetology. Not a great bunch to emulate. Modesty and humility is attractive. Is being attracted to someone because they are rich or powerful much different from being attracted to them for their body?

I’m not telling anyone how to behave. People can and will dress as they want. This is the beautiful thing about living in a free country. I’m not teaching a class. Modesty simply implies a love and a respect for the self. It’s a treasuring of the achievements or innate qualities God has provided you. Not stifling. Reverent privacy. Some immodest people are good, just like some modest people. After all, how can you love others, if you do not have love for yourself? Freedom is good. But freedom does not condone a path of sin. Just because we've freedom does not mean we should choose it for sin. Yes, God permits this for us. But, we owe it to ourselves to stop and take a look at both how our behavior affects ourselves and others.

When I say that we ought to be modest, what is it you hear? I assume that you are hearing a complete, head to toe covering so as to conceal the skin from any even sunlight. Admittedly, there are even forms of modesty, which go too far. For the complete concealment of the human identity cannot truly be a good thing. Nor can it be comfortable. God delights in the identity and individuality of the human being. And as such, we should seek to emulate Him. What I am speaking about when I mention modesty is a reverence of identity. It is a love of both self and other. To avoid confusion, which is oft apt to occur when investigating from secular sources, here is the Biblical definition of modesty; (Not what people have done with it): https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/modesty-misunderstood. Here is a quote from this website: “Modesty is the offspring of humility. Humility is evaluating ourselves properly, with sober judgment (Romans 12:3). Modesty is behavior that flows out of remembering our true place of service, and does not conceitedly boast about the self, but boasts in God (Philippians 2:3–4; 2 Corinthians 10:17). Modesty, or the lack thereof, reveals where we’ve placed our identity. Rich women in the ancient world arrogantly declared their high status, their value, their identity with expensive finery. How do we go about boasting in ourselves today? We live in an identity-addicted society. We strive to put our tastes and acquisitions on display so that everyone knows who we are. We’re told to accentuate our best features, get what we want out of life, stand up for and express ourselves. Social media is often the megaphone we use to herald our personal identity and covertly brag about our smarts, body, sexuality, culture, politics, sports, relationships, family, insecurities, experiences, and possessions.” In a lot of cultures and over the course of history, the concept of modesty has indeed been abused. People should never be controlled. But a person’s value for themselves can be assessed through what they’re wearing. It speaks to what’s going on in their heart. It emphasizes a love for the self, as an idol. People have been burdened to believe they’ve been controlled. And they have. But modesty is not about control. In its true meaning. The longer we view our world through the lens of abuser vs victimized, the bigger the struggle will become. We’ve all been through a lot. We’ve all done a lot too. Both men and women can both be hurt and hurt others. Both women and men can be modest. Modesty is not just showing less skin and trying to prevent sexual arousal. Modesty comes from humility. 

I’m not going to defend what’s happened in the past. Because there may not be a defense for it. Keep your perspective in the present. Not one of us alive were active in the oppression of the past. Traditional gender roles are a great thing. These are not inherently oppressive but instead work to emphasize the glory of God's creation. It's all about God. Let's seek to keep Him center in our lives. This is not a threat to anyone's personal liberty. Neither is it a stifling of your expression. Faith in God is a belief in love. Part of this love, (which is what we believe about God as well) is freedom. We all have and will have the free choice to do what we will with our lives. This goes two ways. We can either choose how we present ourselves to glorify God or we can choose not to. This is our choice. Modesty, as I understand it, is truly about focusing on inner character trait, inner attitudes and development instead of vanity. It is not the dress that makes you of value but your inward person and the Spirit working within you. When God is at work in someone, the focus of this person shifts towards God. I agree that in the past, people have mistreated others in the name of religion. None of us live in the past. Let us focus on the present. Suppression of human rights happen still in a lot of religions. It also happens secularly. Of course this is man-made construct. Styles have changed over a hundred times in the past century. Truth is deeper than what’s on the surface. Truth is in love for others, in love for yourself, in love for God.

We, in the West, are living in the freest, most liberated time in the history of mankind. I would almost posit that the dynamic of abuser vs victim has flipped. In many ways, those deemed victims over the past years, centuries have become abusers themselves. Absurdly, to the point where now, abusers of the past are becoming victims. Few are actually oppressed in our society. Many are oppressed in other societies. But this is for a different time. This view on modesty is not limiting on you or anyone else. The great thing about true reality is that things do not have to be either/or. There is room for other opinions. And the fact I feel this way doesn't limit you from feeling another way. Or from behaving another way. We can have both. Its a choice to live for God, to be modest and humble, to invest in inner qualities of character as opposed to vanity. You're judging this based on your personal feelings, according to preconceived notions. You're seeing this as imposing restrictions on a person. Or people. Because of the way its been used in the past. I'm not saying its bad to wear certain clothing. But it is good to present yourself in certain ways. I was raised without self respect. I can attest, the worse I felt about myself, the worse I dressed. Because I didn't value myself. Sometimes I would wear clothing too tight for me, that didn't fit, clothes that had holes. Choice of how we present ourselves is a statement of how we feel about God, others and ourselves. Ultimately, provocative dress, as illustrated in the picture, but which goes for men and women, is a matter of pride. A person desires others to view their value through their appearance and objectively for their desirability. A person's value is much more than that. 'Those whose hearts are inclined toward God will make every effort to dress modestly, decently, and appropriately. Those whose hearts are inclined toward self will dress in a manner designed to draw attention to themselves with little or no regard for the consequences to themselves or others.'

A person’s value is much more than that. God sees people for more than what they wear. Golly, He even sees people deeper than what they do and say. It's grace. Rip a hundred dollar bill. You still want it? Sure you do. Same thing for a human life. We're all precious beyond possible comprehension. We've just got so much emotional stuff lingering and clogging the drains of our hearts so that our true identities are hindered. Even what they do and say. I never said the more we cover up, the more we value ourselves and love God. Every human being on the planet has feelings. I think the world is a judgmental place and that almost every institution we have created, while glorious in some respects, is hostile to the revelation of ourselves as we are truly meant to be, who God wants us to be because they have the tendency to be shaming of people. Every single institution on the planet is caught up in a ring of perpetuating shame and fear and hurt. Simply because it's been done to them. Of course, people who don’t dress modestly are not bad people simply for that fact. Everyone has been through an awful lot. The reason we dress in certain ways is to show respect. You may disagree with me and, that’s fine, but why do we dress in a certain way for a job interview? Is it to show that we are presentable and worthy of the job? Or is it to show that we respect the interviewers and value their time? My intention in posting this is that modesty can be a good thing. Modesty, as I understand it, is truly about focusing on inner character traits, inner attitudes and development instead of the pursuit of vanity. But ultimately, that, just like any other form of presenting ourselves, it's a choice and not a law.

Sources: https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/modesty-misunderstood