Is the victim of child sexual abuse telling the truth?

“Repost from: http://www.secasa.com.au/pages/is-the-child-victim-of-sexual-abuse-telling-the-truth/ Who has the most to lose? The victim The evaluator needs to approach an allegation of sexual abuse with a clear understanding of who has a vested interest in lying and who in telling the truth. The victim places herself in considerable jeopardy as a result of telling the truth. She may be rejected by the perpetrator and ostracised by her family. She may be "punished" by placement in foster care or an institution. Her family may he torn apart, and she may see herself as responsible for its demise. She will have to tell the intimate details of her story to many people. Both the shame and guilt for having been involved in the sexual abuse, and the feeling of being responsible for any negative consequences to the family may inhibit her from telling. If the case goes to court, she may have to describe the intimate details of the abuse to strangers with the perpetrator facing her, and she may be subjected to harsh cross-examination by the perpetrator's attorney. Frequently the perpetrator will threaten the victim with some of these consequences and urge her not to tell. Children in such a situation feel helpless in the face of a powerful adult. Because of the anticipated consequences, victims may keep the secret for months and sometimes years [3, 4]. Delay in the report of sexual abuse, therefore, is to be expected and ought not to be seen as a reason to questioning veracity of the allegation. It is especially likely when there is a close personal relationship between the victim and the perpetrator. Nor is it uncommon for a child to reveal that she has been sexually abused, and then retract her story as she experiences the negative consequences of telling for herself and her family [5]. The perpetrator For his part, the perpetrator has everything to lose if the child's story is believed, and thus, in most cases will deny he has sexually abused the child when indeed he has. He will likely face rejection by the immediate family and the extended family as well. Especially in father-daughter incest cases, divorce may ensue. In some instances, his employment may be in jeopardy. If the abuse is incest, he has reason to fear the juvenile court which may deprive him of his child, impose treatment, and intrude in other ways into the family. The perpetrator has even more cause to fear the criminal court, where he may be tried for criminal sexual conduct and sent to prison, or at least placed on probation. In addition to the practical consequences of admission are the psychological ones. Many perpetrators are so ashamed of their behavior that they cannot admit it. For some the shame is so great they will continue to deny in the face of overwhelming evidence. Furthermore, a substantial percentage of sexual abusers are to some extent character disordered; these men may lie, and lie convincingly and persistently over a period of months and even years. In their endeavor to persuade the decision maker of their innocence, they may enlist the help of family and friends. Mothers Mothers may also have a lot to lose if the victim's allegation is believed, particularly in father/daughter incest cases. First, to acknowledge the incest exists may be regarded by the mother as an indictment of her as a mother and a spouse. This may be so painful that "putting on blinders" is a more tolerable solution. Moreover, sexual abuse often develops when there are deficiencies in the sexual relationship between perpetrator (spouse or boyfriend) and mother. She may not want a sexual relationship with the perpetrator. Usually unconsciously, but sometimes consciously, she may facilitate the movement of the daughter into the incestuous relationship. Thus, even though she may not recognise them, there may be costs for the mother if the sexual abuse ends [6, 7]. The mother may also be facing more concrete and practical problems, for instance, financial dependency on the perpetrator. If she has to expel him or if he goes to prison, she may have to seek other means of support. This can include going on Aid for Families with Dependent Children (AFDC), or seeking employment when she has never worked or has not worked in years. Finally, should her spouse leave or be incarcerated, she will lose tile emotional support he may have provided. To an outsider this may not seem much, but frequently he will be all the mother has, and she will not be able to imagine life without him. Many mothers of incest victims suffer from low self-esteem, and are very dependent upon their partners. They may choose their partners over their children if forced to choose one or the other. Because of these dynamics, mothers of sex abuse victims often do not believe their daughters' allegations, ignore them when they are made, or try to deal with the problem without bringing in outside help. Alternatively, they may initially side with the child, but then switch their loyalties, and side with the perpetrator as they experience the practical consequences of the spouse's anger and/or loss of the spouse.”