Butterfly Wings..

How could I know that love could be so fragile? 

You created in me, crafted like a child in its mother's womb, a love so pure.

You created a hope that was not hope but certainty.

You shared with me the secret to creativity.

You shared with me the secret to phileal vitality.

As all along, it was right there before me,

In chastity. Loving chastity.

For it has given me the opportunity to learn about you. 

I have learned a great many things about you.

The greatest of all, a little selfishly, is that you love me too.

Oh my best, I delight in you.

This virtuous attraction brings me close to heaven.

That we connect so wonderfully, that we love so innocently, 

Makes me question if ever another could come about.

No one will ever take your place.

You have erected within the halls of my heart, an immovable throne. 

The throne on which you, and only you, hold the claim. 

Even if the burning passion that exists there may never be fulfilled,

Seeming to be impossibility,

You and I both know, and hold onto the hope that Jehovah is a God who causes to be.

He is a God of possibility.

You have awakened within me, the extreme of sensitivity.

I tremor at the thought of how good you are to me.

How from the very beginning, you befriended me so easily, so eagerly.

I found it even a little strange

What I viewed in myself as flaw,

Seemed to intensify your love for me. As though, by these imperfections, you were attracted all the more to me.

Oh, what you have done for me! 

There is no end to the telling...

When I am with you, I tremor at times. 

I am afraid of hurting you. 

You are special as a newborn baby. Though as beautiful as a queen.

I always want to treat you as such. 

You deserve to be treated with the deepest of docility.

You are as precious and as delicate as butterfly wings.

I am so afraid to release my full potential.

I repress the man who God created me to be. 

I have never experienced love. True love. 

Within my heart, you do something to me, you awaken a desire to see the deeper side of me. 

And my potentiality.

Ever since we have kindled our friendship... 

Our relationship... 

Whatever you want to call it... 

It's as though a little fire has been set deep, deep in the echoing halls of my heart. 

A little flame, kindled and fueled, will grow. 

And grow infinitely. Infinitely. 

I want you to know that my life has been better... 

Every day is better. 

Every day is better... 

Better at knowing you. 

So much better having known you. 

We may not be married. 

Still, where does this feeling of bonding come from? 

And this feeling of loyalty? 

You are my best friend... 

Eternally. 

Now, it feels like an awful eternity since we last spoke. 

Since we last hugged... 

Best, you are the best.  

A month ago, I could have said, said with certainty, that our friendship would never end. 

The fuel that kindles the fire of love was rich and pure and ever present. 

Friend, I miss your hugs. 

I miss your smile. 

I miss our late night chats. 

Friend, how you brought out the best in me.

Making me into the man I didn't even think I could be. 

You helped me to see that there is more to life than work and even faith. 

You gave God a human feel for me. 

You touched me with the same love He has for me. 

Making me certain, certain indeed, that He sent you to me. 

Even a little deeper than that, deeper indeed, that you may have been created for me. 

And I for you. 

At least, it's what it feels like when I reflect upon the chastity we embraced. 

And the intimacy we embraced seemed impossible with such childlike chastity. 

We were never married. 

Yet, in a small way, you feel to me as closer than a spouse. 

You feel to me like my very twin. 

We have said it before. 

I don't think we even recognize the significance of that. 

I didn't, not fully, at least. 

Oh dear, how close you are to me. 

Who would have thought that such intimacy, such innocent passion, such love could be so frail? 

Frail as butterfly wings... 

For now, I sit. 

Reflecting upon the days passed, days passed when you livened within me, the very man God created me to be. 

I sit. 

Now alone. 

I regret only not telling you more what you mean to me. 

Maybe I have faith as frail as butterfly wings but to me it seems impossibility, not likely to be that our beautiful friendship, the friendship that God gave to you and to me, will ever continue in the way it used to be... 

Still, I know, and hold onto hope, that what is impossible for you and for me, is entirely, to the God who causes to be, an enormous possibility. 

Now, I sit. Alone... 

My life forever changed and marked by the beautiful and chaste intimacy that we shared so very positively. 

I just want you to know how much I see you. 

I love you. I love my friend because I see her. 

I have learned a lot of things about you. 

It pleases my heart and brings me to tears of joy that getting to know the subtle details and intricacies of you have allowed to me.

It has been the greatest joy of my life. 

I know the future has bright things in store for those who do His will. 

And so, here is humble moi, doing the will of Jehovah. 

And hoping, praying that our friendship will be blessed. 

Not just for now but into eternity. 

Now, here is humble moi, with faith as frail as butterfly wings, letting those wings open wide. 

Trusting in Him. 

For your joy. 

And for mine. 

I love you, best. 

Eternally.