Poetry written as a Debate: Authors: Elora and Rage (Parts of me)

This is my story. A part of a story who lives on the inside of me. I am a child. Only a child. A part of me longs only to be heard. Every part of me cries to be heard, to be held, to be felt and to be born. Why should you listen to me? I am, after all, only a child. Yet, a child I am, so filled with hope, so filled with life, devoid of lies, devoid of strife. Yet a child I am, should that not increase my credibility? This here, laid before you, is my argument, my thesis, so to speak. For while it matters to you, my audience, the case I bring today, to me, even its importance is simply petty, built only to give you a glimpse into the heart of me. I say outwardly and bravely that the reason I have given up on love, raised a wall around my heart, is that I have haphazardly been hurt. That timeless story of heartbreak and misery. If only you will permit me the time and space to share my argument, my thesis, so to speak, I will attempt to convince you that love is a dangerous, deceitful game, one which must be avoided by all children, for all generations hence. I will attempt to convince you the reasons as to why I feel you too, should develop a strong and powerful wall around your heart.

Permit me, also, the time and space, I implore you, dear reader, to interject and present to you with a different side to the story. I too, am only a part of the story who lives inside of me. And likewise, my credibility and tragedy exists in that I am only a child. Only a child. Yet, I ask my opponent who also lives inside of me, though perhaps he may not, at times, desire it to be, the case, that while children we both should be, so full of hope, so full of life, what is the reason this hope and life should die? It’s as though, in a moment, my opponent should have simply grown elderly and miserly. We both cannot afford to live in that bitter eternity. So, you ask, what is my argument? My thesis, so to speak is in that in spite of difficulties that come and heartbreak that stay, love is always worth fighting for, regardless of the pain, regardless of the hurt, we have got to make it work, we have got to find a way. You ask me again to make known my credibility, what I have said was already utilized, you say. As though an argument in debate were a cup of fine wine, once gone, irreplaceable. But, what could I know of wine? For I am only a child. I do know that of all the stories who live on the inside of me, my story is a particularly unique one. I am unique in that I am the only one of us who has accepted the Spirit of Love fully. I am the only one to accept that liberty. In this lies my true credibility.

Kind audience, return now your attention and interest to me. For verily, I pray that you will not find the obvious truth – that in this debate – I am the only one worthy of attention, to be a fallacy. For indeed, my truth is the only truth and I will explain the reasons why. It may simply bore and exhaust my audience to provide further evidence to my claim than this: A child I was! How tragically futile that I should be only a child! If I were a grown up, I could say something, speak up. Alas, I was enduring hardships untold, betrayals untold and who is enduring terrible mistreatment. That when I should tell, have the bravery to make my story known, only to be ridiculed and humiliated further by the person to whom I trusted. Forgive me if I may seem flustered. As you may be able to tell, I am still dealing, the wounds of a double betrayal still open wide. You ask, what does this have to do with love, with my initial argument? I will tell you, Love Himself kept appearing to me, all the while the abuse was still happening – not as though it had stopped. He Himself keeps telling me, whispering in my ear, that I need only tell my story, someone, anyone and after, I will be able to be happy. My life will be filled with love and glory. While I wait, wait patiently for my abusers to change, to repent of their own dignity, they beat and shame me for being disobedient. They threaten those dear to me. All I am saying, is look at what good trusting love got us. Only further ridiculed, betrayed and abused.

But wait!

No, you wait! You shall get your turn. Ah’, it’s useless to fight, to try. How can I express my emotions, which are silenced and suppressed by every person I meet? I don’t express them. Instead, I channel them repressing them for the day I know will come when I can express them all at once. Oh, glorious day! While it may be useless to try, I shall focus, try now for the sake of this debate, for the sake of my dear audience. It is a game. I carry so much anger. I am overwhelmed by so much shame. I cannot trust myself. I refuse to trust others. I am the reason we cannot accept love. Yet, there is a deeper part of me that simply and only wants to give a woman a flower. Maybe something could develop. Who knows! Oh, you are right! How have I become so bitter? It’s the repressed feeling, the repressed feeling that lives on the inside of me. It keeps my soul from liberating. How could I have become so bitter? Help me open my heart!

Take it from me, my dear friend in eternity – alas a dear friend in identity you are. I shall pray for you. But what you need requires a more urgent remedy. I’ll tell you, dear reader that the evidence I am offering is connected also to my story. You ask, what happened to me? For I also am abused terribly. I am hurt, betrayed and alone, tired and poor. An intelligent man may consider: how could there be another side of the story when wisdom suggests that both you, you and I, both endured the same foundation. Truly, we both had the same childhood. How is it that you grew in one way and I grew in the other? There should be reason to hope always and to never abandon that hope. There should be reason to love always and never to abandon that love. When I was only a baby, they traumatized me terribly. Not that what happened to me would cease, as the case would be with you, my friend in identity. Yes, it still goes on to this day. The point is that I tried. I tried so hard and I prayed. I prayed so hard. After a while, I was able to accept the Spirit of His Love. I am the only one of us who has received this grace. Love Himself came to me and set me free.

Don’t stop there. Why don’t you tell the audience what follows in your likewise, tragic story.

It is true. Alas I am the only one who has surrendered to Love Himself. But I was further terrorized into hiding this love within myself. I too, have welled up, repressing our host’s passion and drive. But surely, this has nothing to do with my thesis, that love must endure. You yourself, only just now, were about to open up. You were becoming vulnerable with me. Have you forgotten so quickly about gentleness and dignity?

No, no, no. You raise a good point in your pondering on the cosmic mystery, the worldly lottery – what makes me different from you, one from the other. The eternal answer is spirit of course, the will to live. But as you can see, the spirit of any can be burdened and broke if the pressure is strong enough. You asked what separates you from me? The trauma and betrayal of when I told and was ridiculed. It may be hard to see how this could be so traumatic. Fact is that it only perpetuates and reopens the original wounds that were created. The trauma and betrayal and humiliation I endured was magnified by the humiliation I received when I trusted and was ridiculed.

But wait! Love is not dangerous. It is not to be avoided. Love must be fought for!

You may be right. But, in your opinion, is fighting for love repressing your passions and drives given by Love Himself. All I am saying is that we are more alike than we care to admit. I think we can find some common ground in this and unite in our diversity. We can also find diversity in our unity! I just want to convince you that love is not good. It’s been neither good for or to you or me.

Love must endure. It must be fought for. It must endure!

I have listened to the two of you with interest and love. This is a kind and loving debate and as such, I feel it could use a proper moderator. I am so touched by both of your kind and passionate arguments, both of your kind and loving stories. I only pray that you may offer me the same consideration and dignity, with which you offered each other. For alas, I too am only a child. But I pray you also come to see my credibility. Who am I? I am only a tiny baby. But as if that were not enough, for the good reasons you both already provided, perhaps my family will give you some insight into why you should listen to me. My mother was chosen especially for me. The angels visited her, announcing my birth. My father is unknown as my mother never experienced intimacy. Some say that because of this, I am illegitimate. But, I know better. Even now, a tiny baby, I know that my Father was Love Himself. Even the man who cares for me was chosen for me. He taught me authentic masculinity and even a bit of carpentry. Before I approach my own proof and refutation, regarding the matter you both now conscientiously debate, allow me to reach a little further into my credibility. For you both, you have endured horrific traumas and for that fact I also am wounded. I hope you will hear me when I say to each of you that I was there when you were hurt. It was as though they were committing these terrible crimes to me when they did what they did.

But who are you?

Who am I, you ask? I am the one whose birth was foretold by prophets and angels. Even still, I am the one who was born in a barn, surrounded by livestock. Even still, the angelic host rejoiced at my birth. I too, am only a child. In spite of the fact that Love Himself lives inside of me, something frightens me when I see my future. I see what Love will ask of me. Love Himself will provide the grace. But it scares me no less. Love has asked of me to make of myself an offering, an offering for all of humanity. I have seen the death I will die. A criminal’s death. One of infamy. Do I deserve this? I, also, am Love Himself. So, since you both appealed to arguments of Pathos, recounting your own stories, and what led you to or away from me, I also have recounted why I feel you should listen to me. For alas, your opponent is right. I had to tell you and shed some light, upon this matter. When she says that love is always worth fighting for, there is truth in her words. But your point is likewise poignant and worthy of consideration if not pity. For who can truly blame you for feeling the way you do? You have tried and have done as you were asked. It backfired. Love Himself understands what you must feel. Alas, your opponent has made a clear point when she gives the answer to this universal mystery. It is in the Spirit. The answer lies in the Spirit! She has likewise given you the path to victory. Merited, it lies not in grit nor brawn. Your path to eternity is not in your own strength. Rather, your path to victory lies in your acceptance of me. This may seem strange, for I speak of an event in far off days, but days are coming when my sacrifice, my offering will purchase victory. I shall achieve mastery over life, time, truth and even death. It is a difficult concept to grasp. That one should willingly offer their lives for the others, even for those who revile and despise him. You are both children and therefore not accountable for your sins. However, time will come upon you when the weight of original sin will bear upon you both as well. It is for the world, the entirety of humanity that I have come. And above all this, I implore you to know that when this time comes – if you have faith, it is come already – you are now safe to love. It is now safe to open your dear, precious and beautiful little hearts. You may know that it is safe to do so, because Love Himself has offered Himself so that you can be free.