We were all children. We all grow up. We all sin. We have all stolen, lied, blasphemed, commit adultery. In spite of the fact that all children dabble in these behaviors as experimentation (particularly people who are not raised up in the faith), there is an extra element, which might make a little sense of my experiences. When I was a kid, I was not led onto proper paths. I was going down a rough walk. I am not ashamed to say it because I am letting my actions be illuminated by the light so that all may know they were done according to His will.
I suppose it started much like with the other behavioral problems that began
sooner in my childhood. The petty theft for me started to become a problem in
adolescence. Especially when I realized that what my abusers were doing to me
was not going to stop. My abusers were doing all of this terrible stuff to me.
I suppose, neurotically and within my child’s mind, I believed they owed me
something. The feeling grew from there. There is insight in the fact that I am
a prophet because of what I have been through. And that when these sort of
things are happening to a child, their path in life will almost certainly be
altered. Or stumbled. It is not my teaching. It is both Biblical and
Catechetical and rooted in elementary common sense that how a child is reared
will dictate their path. When I realized the reason I was reacting in these
ways, I stopped. Criminals commit crimes again. Not with a knowledge of God.
Even during my times of financial distress, I was exceptionally honest.
There is a further element of faith, which may make sense of
my experiences. The battle between sin and righteousness is not just a
spiritual battle. As human beings, we are made of two natures. A spiritual
nature and a physical body. Both affect each other. Each complement each other.
What happens to one, will affect the other. Our Lord’s nature illustrates to
humanity that both Spirit and body are important in matters of faith. And that
when these sorts of things are happening to a child, their path in life will
almost certainly be altered. Or stumbled. Unprocessed suffering leads people to
commit sin. Suffering not endured well stumbles people into this because of the
cacophony and discord of feelings, which arise as a response to injustice and
trauma. These feelings are not endured well and therefore become repressed
within the host. This repression of emotion creates a world of confusion, pain
and disharmony within that host person. This is the reason why the symptoms of
almost every childhood, interpersonal trauma always involve some sort of
behavioral issues while the trauma remains unresolved. This could only be bad
theology to one with weak cardiology.
You are not giving me a chance. I worked myself to injury for the Church. I did
this because of my love for God and my love for the Church. I would stack
chairs, sweep. I even went out in the community to seek donations and sponsors
for events. I spent two years at a Catholic community working and praying daily
in service. Again, I was and have always been quite honest in my dealings with
church property. Why would someone who loved money more than people give half
of their fortune to charity and personally to the needy? Once, at my parish in
Toronto, I found a wallet on the ground under the pews while I was cleaning
before Mass. It had a twenty dollar bill in it. I gave it with the bill still
in it to the priest. I could have used the money. But it would not have been
honest to take it. I don’t know how else to show you that I am a changed man. So,
in spite of misunderstanding and poor judgements, I will continue to pray for
all of you and bless you.
“A child’s behaviour is an outward manifestation of inner
stability and security. It is a lens through which the family physician can
observe the development of the child throughout his or her life. All types of
abuse are damaging to children—physically, emotionally, and psychologically—and
can cause long-term difficulties with behaviour and mental health development.”
Here is a great link to a study, which documents the
importance of childhood social development and the impact of trauma and abuse
upon a child’s behavioral development:
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