Woulda', shoulda', coulda':

Friends, again, had I told truth when I was a youngster, I would have been anointed king of this entire world. Your contempt, envy and collective bitterness does not mean that it is Jehovah’s will I be crucified. You’re not looking at this through sober eyes. What I suffered in childhood was the suffering that was intended to repare the world. Again, if it needs happen, I am already ready. I am prepared for the children. Just remember, when truth comes out, you all look like little fools. This is not about me. It’s about you. You, even the priests, even the pope, have mortal sin in your closets. Get ready to have your dirty laundry aired. If I am confident, it is not I who garners this confidence. Look: If people do not like my message, I don’t know what to tell you. If God speaks to me, you take up your queebles with Him. Good luck! This is not about whether I am liked or not. It’s about whether Jehovah speaks to me. If He does, you are morons. Here: If Jehovah desired my entire life to reward me for the suffering I endured in my childhood, despite my sins, are you fighting against Him? There must be something about my suffering that sanctifies it? Perhaps it means a thing or two for the world? Perhaps it makes me very special. Earnestly. Special. Perhaps it was because I was commissioned in Kingdom of Heaven even before my birth. No, you are envious and seek to justify your life’s work toward God. For, if He chooses me, it means a sinner was chosen before you. Listen: I chose sanctity before my birth. Jehovah knew the risk in what He asked me to endure. It’s why He chooses me still. Your envy is not between me and you. It’s between you… and God. You, and Jehovah. Your contempt resulting from that envy? It’s not between me and you. It’s between you and God. Your bitterness… Look, I am truly sorry for the way that I have hurt people. God will show you how what happened to me affected me. If you cannot have mercy then, you may be worried about the wrong person’s salvation. If you are bitter at me for committing such serious crimes, I say one thing: just wait until all of your mortal, unconfessed sins start unfurling. O holy ones. O ones without sins! Is it a empty threat? God will show you… you seek justice. Yet you are not getting the full picture. For even with the weight of my sin, what I endured was more impactful and more injurious. If a male child was horrified as a baby to be scared of women, a contract placed on him that he would never experience passion, what would the true Christian do? Look: if I stare at women, it’s because I desire to have my needs filled but because of fear, do not know how to go about filling these needs. Do they know this? And still they do not help me? Shame on you. So, it’s because you are manlier than I. It truly has become a penilemeasuring competition. Because you have no fear? Fear is womanly you say? Cold, sons of bitches. Anyone of you could have been a child sacrificed on the altar. Sorry to tell you, you too have this fear. You too have this anger. You just do a better job of repressing it. Look: Men… men… don’t be retarded. It’s the reason you all have sex with your children… it’s the reason you all struggle with agitation amongst those closest to you. The question is: Are you man enough to face your feelings? Will you do it for your children? Your son and daughter who are becoming crippled because of what you do to them behind closed doors? Do it for the children. Deal with your feelings. Again, it is not healthy to stuff them. Feelings are human. They are not simply a thing to ignore. They are symptoms of what we have endured in our lives. The amazing thing? Once we accept Christ. Truly accept His love, it won’t even matter. We will have joy. We will have peace. As in my case, we see, it’s not always that simple. There is a big world out there. Remember, Jehovah cares for every soul. At the times of their births, He cared about you all precisely the same. Feel your feelings. Still, I wonder… does it matter? I think it does. For we still have, amongst us a generation of Christians even who are having sex with their children. Why? That’s not normal, is it? Friends, heal your emotions. Even Christians can be influenced by the weight upon their bodies. Look guys, you are angry with me for my change of tone. You are upset with me because all of a sudden, I have developed a backbone. I would not be a responsible teacher were I to tell you things are going to be great. Especially if you do not repent. Look: again… this is the voice of God calling out, you need to stop having sex with your children. Listen to me. Even if they are somehow happy with it, you need to know, on a subconscious level, it is incredibly stumbling and confusing for them. You need do more than simply raise awareness about what is happening with the children. You need defend them. You need protect them. I understand what I am asking. It’s tough. Earnestly. For within every one of us, exists a drive to quelch the light. Because of how we have been hurt. Here is a start: In spite of what your children say, stop having sex with them. You need know it is crippling them. You say Jehovah does not protect anyone. I wonder at you. A true Christian protects the children. You cannot be a Christian and not defend children. It’s elementary. This subconscious thing, what does it mean for us Christians? It kind of suggests there is indeed a soul, doesn’t it? Levels of awareness suggest the presence of a deeper awareness. While it is not absolute evidence, it certainly does lean in that direction, doesn’t it? Here: I am realizing how much of this depends on human soul. Jehovah sees our children in a way different than we see. It is the Bible that says so. Not me. It is their dependence that makes children so special. Children rely instinctively upon God. Unlike adults who have carved their own way, so to speak. Within children, is every possibility. It is this potential that sets them apart. Again, you are simply measuring your manhood by making something out of your works. Seems a little infantile to measure against a child, wouldn’t you say so? Of course you win. The child is not fully developed! What’s to win? Look: It takes humility. When I was at the religious community, a brother made a comment. He said that when you are a male guest there, you are like a child. Everyone loves you, everyone applauds you. Then, when you join in training, you are given more responsibility. You are formed. The dross is burnt out of you. When you finally become a member, you take on the role of a father. You do not receive much recognition. You are not given preferential treatment or lauded for little victories. What you do is kind of expected. There is a humble service there. It sounds mildly sad. It is a sacrifice. It is not sad. It is the greatest blessing in the world. To become a father to others. We need reclaim this service and sacrifice for our culture. For our children. Friends, the more responsibility you have, the more work you are able to do, what is all this? If you are killing the children? Friends, let your works be for the honor of those who are less than you. Let your works be for the health of these ones. We need rediscover this service and sacrifice. Without it, our culture is kapoot. I don’t mean to be hard on you. God knows, I understand. The Catholics. The poor Catholics. Led by your pope to commit sin… A time will come. A time will come when you will need choose between your pope and your God. Friends, if it is God’s will for me to suffer, you need to know the reason. All I needed to do was tell my truth when I was child. I would have been a king. All I needed do was tell my truth after that injury. Every blessing of the holy spirit over the past twenty years would have been mine. All I needed do was surrender following my trip to Iceland. I would have passed away in peace and been hailed a legend. Do I deserve this? No. But I deserve it more than you. I suffered what I suffered in childhood because of what Jehovah asked me to suffer. You do not seem to understand the potential. I had, in my life the potential to choose to be a very powerful political leader who restored all. I had the potential to be transgendered. Another illustration of how sexuality and identity are linked. I had the potential to be a famous MMA fighter. Yes. For the glory of God. I had the potential to be a famous baseball player. I had the potential to be homosexual and successful. I wonder at some of the art that is coming out these days. Books written by others that I wrote in my spirit when I was eleven years old. Songs popular these days, one in particular, I wrote in my spirit when I was twelve at an inn in Florida. I had the potential to be a radio personality. I had the potential to rule this world. Shoulda’, woulda’, coulda’, right? Here: This all was promised to me before my sins began coming out. Even after my trip to Iceland. Why? Aren’t I a terrible sinner? Unless this all says something very particular about what I endured for God. Who I am to God. They know who I am. It disrupts their plan for the world. Because I bring a message of hope. This is the reason I may have to suffer such. It is not a result of my sin. Whose sin merits that? It is because of the sin and corruption of the uppers. It’s so that, when my truth comes out, with every implication behind that, you will not be sorrowful. I do not want to do this. I don’t really have a choice. Your ‘uppers’ will seek it until I am gone. Your corruption is between you and God. And He will rebuke you in every possible way. Remember, it is because of your leaders the restoration and blessing has not come. If I need do this, it’s so that this world can have a blessing. I am ready for that. You need ask yourself, are your leaders leading you towards blessing? You need ask yourself, is this just? Truly just. Considering every perspective? I will need help, laity. I cannot rely on these.