Defence (an alter of mine) speaks truth

 I have accepted Jesus. I swear it. What do I have to do to prove it? How can I convince you when you seem determined now to believe me? Is it my fault that I react the way I do when triggered? My purpose is to keep us safe from injustice. The reason I get defensive is because I am traumatised. I swear to it. I speak about my concerns. Is it really a bad thing? I am responsible for the wall around our heart. I have accepted Jesus. I swear it. I front often. I have adopted a reactive front when I am mistreated. I am just terrified of being punished or hurt. Resisting the new experiences, I am terrified of being hurt. I accepted injury to myself, willingly. Easier to pretend it was my own choice than to believe that people so close could want to kill me. Is Jesus opposed to justice? Tell me. I suppose I only trust a little too much in my own voice to provide justice. For to me, the greatest justice was always simply acknowledging the harms done to me, vocalising them and processing them and making them known to the offender. Every new thing I try, I am rejected or humiliated. As for my fragment, we are overflowing with stress. I made a friend some time ago. One time, she made a comment that got me thinking. Fact is, I don't have to worry about the people who are against me. Their opinions do not matter one little bit. God is on my side. What a relief to lay control of judgement to the hands of the Father. It takes less effort, less stress to simply be silent and keep your peace.