Monday, August 22, 2016

May 26, 2016:

I’m feeling very grounded today. Very strong and empowered. Truly, I will praise you in this storm. Please Lord, help me to remember your love. For while I was in the pit, I remembered you. And my prayer rose to you. To your holy temple. Continuation: I was working pretty hard on revamping my first novel, with the intent of making it more pleasant. Reading through it again, it is a good book for its intent. It’s intent being that of illuminating the juxtaposing elements of the story. It had to be dark. Otherwise, the main character, wouldn’t have gotten the idea. It was my first book. I am proud of it. I may beef up the ending a bit. But on the whole, I’d rather use the time I have to be fruitful in new endeavors and projects. I am on the road to cleaning my room at home. It’s been pretty stressful, the transition and move (as it always is) but I have assembled my file cabinet and have put most of my stuff into that. It’s got a bit to go but it’s important that I keep myself motivated. I went to the gym the other night. I hit the punching bag for a couple of minutes. I felt very good after this. This is in contrast to the way I usually feel when I unload on it. I usually feel pretty weighed down going in and stopping. When I did it this time, I felt a lightening of emotions. I did a full workout after. I’m trying to drink more water lately as opposed to coffee. This, I find is having a positive effect on my health. Although, it is making me have to go to the washroom a lot more, obviously. This, at times, is troublesome due to my prostate or kidney issues and not being able to void at all times. It’ll be worth it, I think. I went to church yesterday. The priest gave such a powerful homily. I was very moved and it resonated with me a lot. Our first spiritual victory is to drive out fear and replace with love. Today I am very grateful for the great people who are in the world. I’m learning, slowly that just because a couple of people hurt me in this life doesn’t mean that everyone wants to hurt me. There are a lot of really good hearted people in this world. Learning, very quickly that each day is very much a gift from God. I want the time I have left to be fruitful and productive. I was looking around today while I was at Starbucks. I was on the patio. There were a couple of birds that came right up to me, looking for food. There was a couple taking selfies of themselves. There were a couple of people in the street dancing. It warms my heart to see people happy. This really is a beautiful world. This really is a beautiful life. We have only to open our eyes. We have so much to be thankful for. When we see each day as a gift. It is beneficial to know what it’s like to need something. Because then we strive and fight for it. It’s beautiful to see people happy because it reminds me that happiness is possible. It reminds me that life is about so much more than our hurts and trials. I read a little booklet I got from St. Patrick’s Church some time ago, yesterday. The booklet was about letting go of your fears and knowing God. It says that it is easy to hold on to the Gospel in our sunny days. But we need to hold on to hope when the storm clouds of fear are in the sky. The booklet reminded me that our spiritual journey does not always lead to human happiness or freedom from fear and anxieties. Rather our journey locates the insights, strength and courage we need to face that which makes us tremble. Tomorrow, I am meeting with a friend from my old church for lunch. In the evening, hopefully we will have a game. Saturday, I’m playing golf. This will make sense very soon. Don’t believe until there is corroboration. This will end well. I have faith that whatever will happen, the right thing will be done. I have faith that the truth will come out. I have faith that God will be glorified.

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