May 27, 2016:

I am feeling very strong today. Very grounded and empowered. I know that this is the right thing to do. I want to encourage you that things are going to get better. I have the strongest of faith that things will get better before the appointed time. Believe me when I say that abuse is never the child’s fault. And that when these sort of things are happening to a child, their path in life will almost certainly be altered. Or stumbled. Clear fact that a child treated this way for most of its life, will be affected. Its path will be affected. I don’t expect you to believe anything at this time. I want to remind myself that God doesn’t owe me anything. And I believe that if I keep this in my heart, that nothing I could do could merit me the amazing gifts God has prepared for me, I will be able to accept the truth when it comes with grace and patience. Truth will be revealed. Maybe not now. Maybe not tomorrow. But at a point appointed by God, everything will make sense. I have faith in that. Going to the gym today after I meet with a friend from my old church for lunch. Grateful for hope. I am grateful for the hope that overpowers the fear of this physical heart. Hope and love win every time. When a child is taught that all they’re worth is trash, they’ll grow with this belief. Being a Christian, being meek does not mean being a doormat. I want to pray about religiosity. I want to make sure I know who is in charge and that He is above me in everything. Only way through Christ. Standing up for myself to show myself that I matter. That no matter what was done or said, it doesn’t define me.