April 12, 2016:

I’m having a great day. I’ve got to admit. I wrote an email. It was something very important to me. I’ve only felt similar feelings of release after pivotal healing marks in my recovery. I know I am going to have to send it. Over the past couple of days, especially since I wrote that, I have noticed people’s reactions to me. I’ve noticed some people being very agitated. At first I was having difficulty in understanding your reaction. I am growing to empathize with you. I wish you could see the tomorrow that is in my mind. I wish you could see just how beautiful of a world this could be. Please, open your hearts. Remember love and compassion in your deed. I went to Mass this evening. Today, was amazing. It feels like my heart is being nourished the minute I enter the building. It’s beautiful. I went to another Starbucks after at Yonge and Finch where I read five chapters of the Gospel of Luke. I’m feeling so amazing right now. I can’t explain it. Very peaceful and as though my heart is filled with warmth. I realized I was doing something today. I realized I was creating visualizations in my mind about what I want in the end. About what I want in life and love. It’s pretty powerful and leads you to know what you want in the first place. I’m also using a lot of affirmations recently. In addition to saying stuff like ‘Praise God’ and ‘I’ve a lot to be thankful for’, I’m also using the one ‘Get behind me Satan. For you have not in mind the things of God. You are a hindrance to me.’ I can’t tell you how much this is doing for me. I praise God today that I have a voice. I praise God that while I am alive I can speak what’s on my heart and open my soul and not feel ashamed about it. I am proud to say that it was not my fault I was raped. Listen, I know I have struggled a lot in this life. I hope you can see how hard this was for me. Why I was struggling. Things have not happened exactly as they were meant to. I am faithful that God will make the best of what remains. I have faith that you will not be disappointed. I have faith that if tomorrow comes, I can face it with love and respect for what it is: another glorious day to glorify my Lord and God. Lk 17:3,4. “So watch yourselves. If your brother or sister sins against you, rebuke them; and if they repent, forgive them. Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.” I’m including this verse because even in this speech given by our Lord, He emphasizes the importance of repentance in our offering of forgiveness.