April 12, 2016:

Let me say, I went to the games room a couple of days ago, where I spent about an hour and a half there. I spent most of this time on the internet. Then I played a game of Starcraft. It was fun. Again, I enjoy games. The point is moderation. The reason I continue to tell myself I am not going to go there, the reasons I am fasting is because I don’t want to use things like food or games to distract from my processing and healing. Today, I went to Starbucks in the morning where I read a bit of the Gospel of Luke. I’ve been to Mass all this past weekend and today, Monday. What I am experiencing in Mass is simply wonderful. It feels like, instinctively I want to enter a meditative state. I am allowing my heart to be filled and nourished. It’s a very peaceful and joyful feeling. This is part of the reason I am attending daily: just because it is so fulfilling for me. Anyways, I have been using that lacrosse ball to as an aid in myofascial stretching. I’m really starting to notice a difference in the tightness of my hamstrings. I went to the gym today where I worked out pretty hard. I think I exhausted my arms out because when I went to pick up a 55 lbs weight, I had a bit of difficulty. Afterwards I went in the sauna. Then I went to church. I prayed the Rosary before going to Mass. We had a priest from another parish reading today. He gave a powerful homily about allowing the Holy Spirit to work in us, through extending charity and mercy. One thing I would like to bring up today is an homily one of the fathers gave this past Sunday at church. In it, he had a twenty dollar bill. He asked the congregation whether or not we would like this money. Then, he crumpled it up and stomped on it. He again asked, if we would like the money. He told us how in the eyes of God, we were like this twenty dollar bill. It could be crumpled, torn, trampled on. It doesn’t diminish its value. To God, we are beautiful in spite of our sin and our damages. Anyways, a kind gentleman on the bus on Finch offered me a seat when he saw I was having difficulty standing. After, I went to Starbucks again where I read more of the Gospel of Luke. A nice guy sitting next to me asked me where I got my bag. Then, I went grocery shopping. I am easing into my fast by eating only fruits and vegetables in morning and then having rice or pasta or something at evening.