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Wednesday, August 31, 2016

A few special people:

I am overwhelmingly grateful for being able to open my heart. And I am so grateful for the woman with whom it happened. I couldn’t be happier. Donna, I love you. You are very important to me. Still after this week, I reflected, regretting over the relationships and experiences I was not able to experience because I wasn’t in a place healthy enough to. I am very sad that now that I am able to date and have a friendship, I lost some of the most beautiful women I have ever known. I can’t believe that I let them go. What I really can’t believe is how much effort they put into trying to get me to open up. A few especially. But another thing accepting that feeling of love and acceptance is doing for me is showing me that I have to treat myself with gentleness and respect as well. I wasn’t in a place healthy enough to show these two women how much I loved them. And I did love them, legitimately. I think I still do. I love a lot of people for their ability to see hope in me when everybody wanted to give up. These women are constantly in my heart. And regardless of what happens, that will never change. I wish I could have been stronger. I know this will not make entire sense to you now but I want to be the one to lead you to salvation. And I want them to know how much I value them. My heart wants for you to be glad and to be at peace, in joy and love. I just want you to know how much you mean to me and how much your concern and drive to help means to me. I am very happy and my heart is filled with gratitude. There will be little time to be sad.

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