December 11, 2015:

Today, I am grateful for gratitude! Seriously, over the past couple of days, I’ve been having a difficult time. And I am not going to lie in that I have reacted to my feelings. Though I feel that I reacted more internally than outwardly, I am feeling better now. It was at the Real Canadian Superstore where I was really having difficulty, not all of it was how I was feeling about myself. Anyways, there I started smiling. Even when no one was around me, I allowed myself to smile. It’s amazing how quickly my attitude shifted. I know I have said this before. It is a learned skill, gratitude. And when we have been through so much, it can be difficult. But then I remember Saint Therese, who smiled through clenched teeth of pain to face her day with gratefulness and praise. It is possible. I saw a buddy at the grocery store. He got a job there. Proud of him. Hoping he is continuing off cigarettes and alcohol as well. When we personally have the revelation of why we are choosing to distract ourselves in this way, we have a choice. He’s a strong guy. With the displayed conviction I have seen by him, it is clear that soon he will find what he needs to overcome these things. We’ve all been through so much. We’re all so strong. Rest is coming. I’m going to try to go through the letters following my book and try my hardest to explain things a bit more. I’ll make the best of this time. I just want you to be strong. Keep faith. 1 John 3:12: “We should not be like Cain, who was of the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous.” We must always remember what God Almighty, YHWH stands for. He demonstrated in the most perfect way what He stands for in entirety when He sent His Son to the earth to live as we live, to empathize with us and to die in a way that we were deserving. But, brothers and sisters, we deserved so much more than just that. God stands for love and justice. In Him is no darkness at all. Life will get difficult. We must always remember His great promises to reward those who love him in endurance and patience with life.