May 14, 2015:

Today, I am thankful that hard work pays off. I have lost about thirty five to forty pounds over the past several months. I bought a cheap scale yesterday and weighed myself in the first time since I started my diet. I got a very nice surprise because last time I weighed in at 237 lbs or so and when I stood on it yesterday, I weighed 198 lbs. I was very pleased with how the Lord guided my life to diet and exercise to lose so much weight. I was reading the Psalms for a long time. I read through the Book in a couple of days a couple of times. I was reading this particular Book because I felt down and defeated in many of my past sins and the sins of others. I have done a lot I am not proud of in my life. Merited, the acts that I have committed cannot even be weighed in comparison against the crimes committed against me. But I am not going to compare. Because even one sin is enough to separate us from holiness in God’s eyes. Really, our sin is inherited. So in that sense, we are born sinners, however children are innocent in the eyes of God. The fact is that we are all sinners. I am not proud of my sin. But there is a reason that we sin. To me, I am a terrible sinner. Regardless of what others have done in the past, realizing that we have a choice has encouraged me to open my eyes a little. Realizing that I was getting too overwhelmed in shame and pity, I started to read again the Gospels. I read Mark last night and am starting the Book of John today. This was encouraging and reminded my spirit that God, in His awesome mercy and grace, offered a remedy for this sin. That remedy is in the Lord Jesus and we are set free because of what He did for us; His great sacrifice. Ever since I have accepted His great Love, I am a different man. I quit a three pack a day cigarette addiction, quit gambling, quit alcohol, quit completely and for good pornography and all of these things that took my eyes off of Him. There is so much that I have been able to do with His Spirit. And, Grace of God willing, so much more to do. I am just emphasizing these addictions I have given up in order to show you that I am different. I had another insight today. I think I expect too much from people. Not like praise or pity. Just compassion. I expect this from everyone. It hurts to watch others treat other creatures harshly and without mercy. I know nothing is going to change in the state things are but I pray that your world will receive compassion from the Father in the form of a blessing. Have compassion and understanding. Do you know why I was so able and willing to forgive the people who hurt me in my life? It’s because I desire to have mercy but also because I can have compassion with why they sinned in the first place. I am thankful for my Men’s Ministry tonight. Keep faith. Have patience. This is very real.