May 4, 2015:

Overall, I am very happy today. I have my first session of my phase two survivor support group tonight that I am very happy about. I got down to Etobicoke a bit early so I played a couple of games of chess and watched a few sermons on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Very encouraging. I woke up with two very encouraging dreams in my memory. I will not get into detail here but they were filled with joy and repentance. I meditated and thought over the gospel and that which was revealed to me last night while I went to bed. I am so very grateful for the righteous goodness of our God and Creator. I am so overjoyed that He has laid that revelation on my heart and mind. I have felt it in times past but it was so clear last night. I am so incredibly thankful for the fact that Christ died for us. I am thankful for the Cross and the Creation. Glory to God. Continuation: This support group looks amazing. Unlike the phase 1 group, this group is focussed much more on moving forward. I was a bit apprehensive to go into it, knowing that it was co-ed. This is especially so with my experiences in mind. But right now, after the first session, I am really pleased. Everyone seems very nice. And like I told the members of the group, I was excited and considered this a good experience for me and to develop friendships with others and to challenge myself. I’m glad that there are women in the group. This will challenge me to develop new and better skills of relating. It’s hard work that we have to do. It’s really difficult to continue to heal such damaging wounds that resulted from other people’s very selfish crimes. It almost seems unfair as one of the members said. But really, there is no other place I would rather be and I would not change my experiences for anything in the world because they have made me who I am. And I have the privilege of working with these brave people. Tonight I am thankful for my group facilitator Stewart who facilitated the phase 1 I was in. I am also thankful for Richard from my last group who is also in this group. He shared with me a video on YouTube that was extremely powerful, called the key to great sex. It was a sermon that focussed on the negative bits about porn and the positive aspects of being committed to one partner. Really powerful. Tonight, I am thankful for everyone in my support group. I know that they all have really powerful stories and that I am able to learn much from them. I’m just asking you, journal, to have faith a little while longer.