Some notes:

Just because someone is not paying attention, does not make it right to steal from them. Being a child, being defenceless and submitting because of beautiful innocence, does not make it right to hurt them. I’m not oblivious to the thousands who are massacred every day. It breaks my heart. I’m not oblivious to the fact that everyone in this world hurts. It is my prayer that something be done. That you, collectively, can feel the hope of Life. I can’t help but feel I’ve mishandled your well-intended compassion. You’ve been more than understanding of me. I just pray you remember how important our developmental periods are. I’m not asking you to believe me. Wait until there are witnesses. That way the Will will be done appropriately. None of this is for my glory. Everything I do is for Christ. But you need remember, He didn’t come for the righteous and ‘perfect’. I pray His will will be done. Whatever God needs me to do now, I will submit to. I pray I am able to glorify Him in even a small way. The Gospel is not against reaching out to those who are hurting. There is a very real, often supernatural reason they’re hurting. But they’re hurting nonetheless. Please remember that. I don’t expect you to believe me. No, I don’t deserve for you to believe me. But I have to keep speaking up for what I know is truth. What I yearn for most is the best for your world. But we need to validate and have understanding for these kind of crimes. It is a very serious crime to rape a child. The unfortunate part of this is that it is even more serious, the effects and consequences upon the victim. And this affects them in more than just a physical sense, more than simply feelings and emotions. Hurting a child affects their entire developments, the foundation upon which they will make decisions, be able and receptive to participate in social engagements. In a nutshell, child abuse causes brain damage. Where a child is meant to go, God will lead them there, for the glory of the Kingdom. There’s a lot of unnecessary suffering that hinders God’s will and has changed a lot of things over the past number of generations. There was a guy on the bus on the way home from church who got on at Richmond Hill Center. He was clearly distressed and speaking erratically. He was saying some mildly offensive things and wagging his head around. As I was watching him, it became more and more clear that this man was deeply hurting. Saying stuff like, ‘I just want to die’. He pulled out a large sum of money and started counting it. A couple of other passengers were looking at him. Not in a sinister way. In a questioning way. I stood up and leaned over to talk to him, asking if he was okay. It looked like he was about to cry. But we got into a conversation and after telling him I was praying for him and offering him help, he quickly got up and left the bus. He turned back to me and looked at me with kind of a pleading look and said, ‘I’ve got to be tough’. And left the bus. These are people who are hurting. Anyways, this experience reminded me of my purpose. The reason we’re all here. To help others in their time of need. Whatever the reason for his hurting, we need to reach out. And there is usually a reason. Even a reason for why they are on drugs in the first place. ‘It’s not the healthy who need a doctor.’ I’m trying so hard. Every time I commit to something, it takes my full heart. It’s so frustrating when the limitations of my body get in the way. Regardless of how bad this gets, I will not give up. Because I know and have the deepest faith that God will reward me for the life I have lived. Often by focusing so intently on my failures and pains, I forget how much God has done for me already. I forget how far I’ve come. I forget how far I am going each day, especially when each day for me feels like running a marathon.