April 1, 2015:

I am so very grateful for the spirit of Easter. The spirit of the Resurrection is what gives me hope and joy in humility. Yesterday, I was having a difficult time, after getting only a little sleep, resulting from being in emergency twice. I have a suspicion that there may be something wrong with me physically because of a lot of symptoms that made me anxious. But I am not too concerned and the blood tests and heart tests they performed on me were normal. Anyways, I ended up going home and brooding on negative thoughts. In addition, over the past several weeks, every dream that I have had has had the meaning of temptation or unclean soul tie or deception. For example, I’ve been dreaming a lot of sexual encounters, some of which are loving while others are more carnal. I’ve been dreaming of spiders. I believe very strongly that God speaks to His people through dreams. But also that we are left vulnerable to temptation in our dreams. Last night, I became overwhelmed and uncertain about the state of my soul and future. So I prayed to God asking if there is hope for me and for everyone else, that He fill my dreams with hope and love when I slept. When I woke, I was a little drowsy but my mind was filled with memories of dreams of hope. A friend I had called last night and told about my medical health, wrote on my facebook wall that she hoped I would be alright and that I should get that checked out further. One of the dreams that I had was a dream where a whole bunch of my friends wrote to me to express their concern. It was nice. But most of all, it was very assuring that God to experience this because it gave me hope. I am thankful for a God who understands and empathizes with us as humans.