April 14, 2015:

Today, I am grateful for the fact that everything is possible. Not physically but I am thankful for the attitude that has filled my heart as of late. I am so thankful for the painful lessons and perhaps ironically, the failures that life brings along with its journeys. I’m beginning to learn that it is in those failures where, we learn great and powerful lessons that both humble us and encourage us to be more compassionate to others. I am grateful for God’s literally ALL-enduring love. And that the fact that He can forgive me is still a miraculous possibility. He is such an incredible God. I just wish I could have been stronger. But I am faithful that He is able to search my heart and realize why I have stumbled so often. I will endure and keep faith in Truth until the end. I am grateful for the gift of generosity. Most of all, the generosity of our God who was so compassionate to give us the gift of His Son so that we can be saved and have access to the Kingdom of Heaven. I am grateful for the gift of generosity in that I am able to offer my time, money and talents for His people but most of all, for His glory. Today, I am grateful for my friends, my support group and my Men’s Ministry. I am thankful for the gift of repentance and for fresh starts and change. I am grateful for my mother, who even though I have not seen her since I was like five years old, I am able to speak so freely and openly with her. It’s as though I had a relationship with her in the past that just kind of continued when I contacted her. I am so grateful that she is willing to listen to what happened to me openly and with compassionate reception and that she believes me. It’s nice to be believed and lessens the shame. True healing from this sort of stuff comes as you are heard, believed and sympathized with. I am thankful for a world with as much love and kindness in it while so many terrible things are happening at the same time. I’m starting to realize slowly but firmly that most people in this world are really great people who have just been hurt. They just want to love and to be loved. I pray that that love will be revealed to them. I am thankful for having the best thing in the universe to look forward to. I am thankful for God’s love. I am thankful that I have the opportunity to go to church and worship freely. I am thankful for this because there are many, too many brothers and sisters who do not have the freedoms that we have here. I am thankful for a lot today but I just want to acknowledge the grace of God and show Him how pleased I am with the gifts He has given me in the face of so much hurt. I rejoice in my hurts and sufferings because they have brought me closer to His love. I rejoice in my failures, though while there is no excuse and I will stand accountable for what I was unable to do at the time, these have humbled me and encouraged my faith and sense of compassion and humility. I am thankful that Michelle was accepted into university in Australia. I remember only a couple of times after the first time I had met her, I saw her in the halls at York before class with a travel guide about Australia. She deserves this more than anyone and finances should not limit someone with so much potential. I will remember to pray for her. I am thankful for Brenda, with whom I shared a lot of really great times. And even though we have stopped communication in the way we had before, I am grateful for the times I had to know her. I am thankful for the gifts of intimacy, friendships and relationships that we have been offered the chance to nurture. And even though, I was hurt in a way that limited my ability to give and receive love, I am so grateful for this because through these relationships, we are able to experience the love of God in even a small way. God, you are a beautiful and gracious Creator. I am grateful that I have the strength and love to keep faith in the truth of my life and the Truth of the universe with my heart until I find rest in His love. Thank you God for being there for me and for reaching out to me as much as you have. Thank you for not giving up on me and for realizing why I have fled from your attempts to show me love in my life. Praise the LORD of the heavens and earth.