April 15, 2015:

Today, I am grateful for my harmonica lessons. I am absolutely getting better and I am praising God for the fact that it offers me some enjoyment. For the songs that I am able to play, I do so with passion and have a lot of fun. I am grateful for my harmonica teacher because he’s very patient. I do not practice as much as I am obviously capable of, because of everything else that overlaps. But he is always ready for me to learn something new. I am grateful for the final session of my men’s survivor support group tonight. Tonight, we will have a potluck and it will be nice to just have a good time with the guys. I am grateful because they were considerate enough to think of me and the fact that I don’t eat meat. I was trying to assure them that I’m not picky and I would never want to have my beliefs force them to change their habits. Still, they’ll be bringing a lot of veggie dishes. I am happy because today, even though I didn’t sleep well last night, it doesn’t hurt me too much to walk today. I am so grateful for the compassion of warm people. Yesterday, after I had gone to church and had eaten at Queen and Yonge, it was dark and I tripped over a sewage grate on the sidewalk. I fell onto my hands and my head stopped an inch from the pavement. My backpack swung over my head and knocked my face into the sidewalk. I was stunned for a second because my glasses were bent out of shape. Then blood started falling from my nose. I got up, dazed and continued to walk to the subway when some guy who was on the side of the street, stopped me and asked if I was alright. He wasn’t exactly cool about it but just the fact that he showed concern was nice. He gave me a paper towel and encouraged me to get to a washroom. That was very nice of him. I praise God for people like him. I am grateful because I will be playing golf with my buddy Eric on Saturday. He was willing to change the course we are playing at because I don’t have a car anymore. I’m really looking forward to it. Like harmonica, golf is one thing I get a lot of enjoyment out of. I am thanking God for a heart that desires to serve Him in humility. I just have to keep it in this state. Praise the Lord for amazing weather. It’s going to be such a good game of golf even though it’s been forever since I have played. I’m going to be sore but it will be an amazing day. It’ll be great to see Eric again. Too bad that Spencer can’t come. I hope he gets better soon. Thank you God for this world, throughout which we can see your glory and working hand in everything that you have made. Everything in this beautiful world is a testimony to your incredible and loving, creative Hand. I desire what you have to offer Lord and I am proud to have been called. We had the potluck to mark the completion of my men's survivors support group. I was so very encouraged stepping into the unknown away from this group. Every one of those guys are heroes to me. Like I was telling them, in the three to four year process in which I undertook my own healing, through individual counseling, journaling and all of the self-care I was doing, I probably leapt forward in my recovery in these fifteen weeks just as much. It was so encouraging and healing to experience this journey with others who were at the same stage as me. I thank God for this group and look forward to the next chapter.