Thursday, August 11, 2016

April 26, 2015:

I got a few winks last night but did not want to miss the time I had to be up so I pretty much stayed up all night doing breathing exercises and stuff. Generally, the three of us played pretty well for how early it is in the season. I could have sworn after the second hole that I tore a muscle in my foot but continued through and finished the game. Played pretty poorly on the front nine. Then almost parred out from fourteen on. I think I finally have a good grasp of my old swing. When I say my old swing, I mean the swing that I used to play with before everything hit the fan when I was young. Now it’s just a matter of practice. The other two guys did really well. I was impressed by Spencer, after injuring his rotator cuff a while back, seemed to be doing alright. When I got home, I crashed from around 2PM until 5-6PM. Hey, it’s a Sunday! But when I woke, my muscles were really sore. It seriously feels as though I have torn at least thirty muscles in my legs and hips. From my runs as small as they are right now. But it doesn’t feel too serious. I’ll rest my body tonight and try to push it tomorrow. I was actually really pleased with myself. When I woke up today around 2, I was hungry. Around 7, I placed an order with Pizza Hut for a regular cheese pizza, garlic stix and some promotional dessert item. My mouth salivates. A couple of minutes later, I challenged myself and realized what I would be doing to my diet. So I called and cancelled it. This morning, I already had a bowl of oatmeal with berries and red pepper soup after the game, in addition to my protein, V8 and all-bran bar. The fact is that I know I’ve messed up a lot with God. It was a result of real suffering and simply being unable to trust because of what I have been through. But I realize that the reason I am separated from His love and the glory He had prepared for me now is because of sin that only the Christ can forgive. I know what I deserve. I know what we all deserve. By the continued grace of God, He will have mercy and forgiveness on and for me. I just pray He sees the reason that I fled from His love so often in my life. Whatever the case may be, let it be so for the glory of God and for the benefit of His Creation. I will continue to try and have faith in the Truth. I know for a fact what happened to me in my life, though I am learning not to allow these experiences to control everything I do. I know what happened. But I have a choice what to do with that. I know the only way to Salvation. That’s through Jesus, the Christ. I will continue to have faith and to praise God.

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