October 14, 2015:

Had a nice day today. Last night, I practiced a few relaxation exercises that are really paying off today. Again, stuff like this is a dichotomy for me because it seems that the more relaxed I become, the more hypersensitive I am. This, I suppose, is understandable because of the fact that my self finds it so dangerous and threatening to be in a period of relaxation for too long. In any case, I’m hoping that in addition to the workouts and better eating, in the long run, this will pay off. I went to church this evening. I received a blessing. Intend to go to the gym again tomorrow. Tonight, I am going to my storage locker to empty it out and bring my paintings home. There is a reason I got this locker and I don’t have that much extra space at home but I want to simplify things a lot. This is something I don’t really need. I bought some more canvas too! Very excited to continue to paint! I wasn’t counting but someone pointed out to me that I have painted about 75 paintings. This feels like a great accomplishment. Not going to stop there! Played a little bit of harmonica last night. I played a song by ear that I had no idea how to play. I had never learned it but had the tune in my head and started to play. Minor mistakes, but I played it well. Today, I am thankful for my precious Christ. I am so thankful that He was so loving and good that He sacrificed His life for all of us. And I am thankful that whatever happens to me, it will be for the best. I just want the best for all of you. I just want to help you with what remains. I memorized another Bible passage a couple of nights ago. Fitting for periods of fasting. “He answered them, ‘Man shall not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.’” I am memorizing a passage a week. And remain in the Word every day. This is so important. Today, I am thankful for God’s Word. That we have access to Him at every moment. I am thankful for grace and love. I had trouble believing before but this love thing is not just a thing that exists in Heaven, the Kingdom of God. It happens all of the time here. We just need to look past the bad stuff and open our hearts to the good. This is what life, what God is about. Love. Love you, journal.