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Sunday, August 14, 2016

October 16, 2015:

Today was pretty great. I went to a photo store where I got a painting of mine framed. I got it framed because someone is purchasing it! Thank you Donna for being interested! I’ve got to admit, though I have been painting for well over a decade, I am relatively new to pricing my art. I’m just happy that she wants to buy it. So I’ll send that out in a couple of days. Yesterday was a pretty rough day, to be honest. I was struggling a lot. I don’t really know what the catalyst was. I went to the gym, where I was able to get a workout in and meet with a personal trainer. He seems like a really class guy. He did a bunch of measurements, indicating that my body fat percentage is relatively high. Though physical health is ideal, the spirit is so much more than the body. We can’t judge each other based on our bodies. The state of the body is often a mild indication of emotional health. In any case, I am proud of how far I have come. At one point, I was 246 lbs. Now, I’m 190. Still, it’s no excuse. I am going on another diet. Merited, if my body worked like a healthy person’s, I would enjoy physical activity a lot more. As it is, it hurts me to do things that other people often find pleasure in. Like I said, it’s no excuse and I intend to work on it a lot. Still, yesterday, I was feeling very worthless. I challenged these feelings and replaced them with love for myself. “There are many reasons I want to volunteer at the Library with the Leading to Reading Program. I want to offer a child help with their learning to read. I understand the barriers that can interfere with the learning process. At least from my perspective, I understand the power behind literacy. I also understand being frustrated and not able to allow myself to learn because of other stresses. I just want to help. It’s true that I have not worked with children in a major role in the past, but I feel as though I am responsible. I have healed myself and I could be fun. I just want to help. I want to teach children because children are the future. I am doing this for the same reason I donated three iPads to children’s hospitals.” Well, I went to my storage locker a couple of days ago where I brought everything back to my little room. I don’t really have the space but wanted to simplify my life a bit. Now, I have seven fresh canvas to work on! I got some varnish today for my paintings. I’m going to continue going to the gym and painting. And dieting. I want to lose weight. While I am alive, there is still a chance for everyone involved. I will not give up until I am dead.

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