Sunday, August 14, 2016
September 9, 2015:
Today, I am thankful for the fact that I have such great friends who are supportive in the ways that they are able. Today, I went to church at St. Patrick’s. Afterwards, I took the subway to college and Yonge streets where I am now. I’m going to have coffee with a fellow survivor. At the subway station, I saw an older gentleman who was seated on the hallway floor. I gave him five dollars and asked him if there was anything I could do for him; if he was hungry. He said he would like a drink so I went to the convenience store next to where he was sitting and got him a pepsi and a water. Glory to the Lord. I am thankful for the ability to help others financially. My coffee with the friend went well. I feel such a connection with this guy, mostly because of the similar experiences we share and our similar responses to the abuse. I was encouraged by him sharing his experiences with avoidance of intimacy because it helped me to examine my own experiences and desires and goals. As a result of what happened to me in my past, I also am very avoidant of intimacy and sexuality. Something he said really encouraged me to embrace the fact that this is something I can do. And I am physically able to do. I just have to trust. I am encouraged to continue searching for love. The only thing I feel mild regret about during this coffee meeting was the fact that I told him I was fasting. For the most part, I keep this private experience to myself between me and God. I am proud of this fast in particular because of its purpose. But I need to remember that I should not boast in it to the world but rather, allow God to use it for His glory. I am thankful for every single experience that led me to today. Grateful for the good times and proud of the adverse ones because they have helped shape me. I am thankful for the unique privilege of being me. I am the only Jonathan Wamback. And I am thankful for him and his strength to get to where we are. I am grateful for being up early enough to see the sunrise. The latest experience I have of this is playing golf with Eric. I was up at 5am. I captured a few pictures of this sunrise. Breathtaking. I plan to paint the scene I captured with the camera. Eric encouraged me by telling me a story about a gentleman who paints golf course landscapes. This is a brilliant idea. I am thankful for the fact that every moment is a new beginning. Every moment we experience God’s great love and forgiveness over again. Praise the Lord for today! Praise Him for now!